The Jaguar Prince (17 page)

“I
’m telling you the truth. That is what the database says to do,” Rogar told Callie, then handed the device to her so she could read for herself.

Callie didn’t believe him for a second. She jerked the database from him, and quickly read what was on the screen. Okay, so maybe he had been telling the truth, but was the information accurate? “Is this on the level?”

“I promise. The database wouldn’t have false information.”

Her eyes narrowed. His expression was bland. Were his eyes twinkling? She couldn’t be sure. But if it really did work, wouldn’t it be worth trying? It might just save her life. “And you’re sure this will work?”

“No.”

“I’m supposed to get naked during a full moon, outside, and chant these words while you smear a concoction of questionable ingredients over my body, and you’re not even sure it will work?”

“The old leaders must have participated in the rituals or it wouldn’t be in the database.”

“Were the leaders men?”

“It’s a very solemn occasion.”

“Unless I get arrested, and believe me, these people here would like nothing better than to see me carted off to jail.” Now she knew his eyes were twinkling. “It’s not funny.”

He quickly sobered. “Of course not.”

She marched over to the desk that was inset next to the cabinets, and opened a drawer. Callie couldn’t believe she was even considering this. She rifled through the loose papers until she found a calendar, then flipped the pages, looking for the next full moon.

She put the calendar back, and shut the drawer. “The full moon isn’t until next week. I’ll just have to try to connect before then.”

Aww, she had so wanted to go through with the ceremony—not! Tropical scented lotion rubbed on her skin, sure. But what the hell was a mangus root? Did she even want to know? It sounded nasty. If she didn’t make the connection, she still might have to go through the ceremony, though. Eww…

She squared her shoulders. “What do I need to do, other than a ceremony, to connect with my animal guide?”

“There is something else we can try.” He stood, took her hands, and led her to the middle of the living room. “Sit.” He motioned to the floor.

She did as he said, crossing her legs in front of her. He did the same, only a few inches separating them.

“Now, close your eyes.”

She closed them.

“Empty your mind.”

She rolled her shoulders, then let her mind empty. She wouldn’t think of anything. Not one thing. She wouldn’t even think about not thinking about anything. She would just let her mind empty.

She inhaled, then exhaled.

The cabin was kind of musty smelling. She should open some windows and let it air out. Maybe light some candles. DeeDee’s mom always had candles on hand. She was afraid there would be a power outage, and she’d be caught in the dark.

Mrs. Jackson always bought those soy candles. Callie loved them because the scent seemed to last longer, as well as the candle. She would have to ask DeeDee where her mother had bought the ones she used.

If they didn’t cost too much, that is. Mrs. Jackson had really expensive tastes. And why not, she and her husband made oodles of money. If Callie had that much money, she would splurge on expensive candles, and clothes, lots of bling-bling, and nice vacations.

Ahh, vacations. It would be nice to take one.

DeeDee’s parents were probably excited their daughter was joining them. Colorado must be nice in the fall. DeeDee once told her the water was clear and unpolluted, and you could see sparkles of gold.

“I don’t think you’ve emptied your mind,” Rogar said.

She jumped and opened her eyes. Guilty as charged. It wasn’t as easy as he’d made it sound. “How can I empty my mind if you keep talking?

“You have to concentrate on breathing, and let everything else go. When you are able to do that, you’ll find your animal guide.”

“Okay. Okay.” She closed her eyes. She really wanted to find her guide. She vaguely remembered the voice from so long ago. When she had felt lonely and unloved, the voice would soothe away her fears.

What would her guide be? Not a bunny or rhino. No, more like an exotic horse. Yes. She liked that idea. A horse. She’d always wanted a pony. She’d gone on a field trip once and they let her pet a pony. The pony had been gray, with faded white spots on her butt. There had been lots of other horses there, too. She remembered it as though it was yesterday.

A familiar feeling began to wash over her. She moaned, stretching her arms out and reaching toward something…something…

“Callie!”

She curled into a ball as fog filled the room. The pain wasn’t as bad. Not so much like the burning sensation of the last two times. Her arms no longer felt like her arms, nor did her legs feel like her legs.

Her limbs began to stretch, the changes happening inside her, as well as outside. Sweat dotted her forehead, and it was hard to breathe.

Then nothing again. Rogar was right when he said it was like Balam was a shadow. Only she was the shadow. She opened her eyes and blinked, then looked around. Rogar stood in front of her, and she was almost even with his chest.

“You were supposed to empty your mind, not think of an animal.”

Had she become the sleek horse she’d been thinking about? She wasn’t sure. She had a feeling this wasn’t her animal guide, though. The connection that Rogar had talked about wasn’t there. It was more like she’d borrowed the animal’s body.

Well, she wanted to see. She turned and walked toward the bedroom, where there was a full-length mirror. It sounded like hooves walking across the hardwood floor. Did Rogar find her exotic?

She had a little trouble turning the corner but made it inside, and by then, she wasn’t sure she really wanted to look. At least, she knew she wasn’t a rhino or she would’ve taken down half the wall. Try explaining that to DeeDee’s parents.

Okay, might as well do this. And then she was looking at herself. Oh, great, this was just great! What, did someone not like her? She’d been thinking about a horse, not a donkey.

She moved a little to the right. Could she at least shift into an animal with a smaller ass—no pun intended? Her ears had to be at least a foot and a half long.

Rogar stepped into her line of vision. Great. She opened her mouth to tell him what she thought about shapeshifting, “Hee-hawwwww.” She quickly closed her mouth.

He laughed.

How could he laugh at her? It was so demeaning. He came closer, patting her on the neck.

“I told you that you might experience many animals before you connect with your guide.”

She turned her head, nipping at his hand, but he was too fast and moved out of the way, which was probably a good thing since she was a little long in the tooth. She might have done some serious damage.

Oh, God, she had buck teeth.

“Just think about your human side,” he told her.

He didn’t have to tell her twice. She closed her eyes and concentrated on what it would be like to walk in the woods behind the cabin, or swim in the manmade lake. When she had come the last time with DeeDee, Callie had really enjoyed those activities.

The country club was another story. That had been pure torture. The people there had made her feel like a lower class citizen. The longer the night had progressed, the more depressed she’d gotten.

“Are you concentrating?”

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. Rogar was right, she needed to learn how to concentrate. She thought of herself standing in front of a mirror, rather than the donkey.

In her mind’s eye, she saw herself pulling on a pair of size six jeans—easily pulling them on over her small, tight butt.

The fog rolled across the room and the change began. She took a deep breath, then exhaled as the familiar ache began inside her. She stretched out, then curled inside herself. The burning sensation came, and with it darkness. It almost seemed as though she floated through space while the change took place.

“Callie?”

She blinked, then opened her eyes. When she looked at her hands, she saw she was back in her own body. “Please tell me that wasn’t my animal guide.”

“When you connect with your animal guide, it will feel totally different from anything else, as though you’re sharing each other’s bodies and minds. There will be a separation, but a connection as well.”

“I’m not sure I like the idea of someone living inside of me—besides me.”

“That is why you have not made the connection. Your guide is frightened.”

“Of me?”

He nodded. “When your guide first began to speak to you, and you told others, they sent you to a doctor. You made the decision to stop listening, and pushed your guide away.”

“But now I’m not.”

“The guide was smart and stayed dormant most of the time. When you had a strong feeling about something, your guide gently led you in the right direction.

“The power is in you to reject the guide. You are old enough to consciously make that decision. That is why she’s afraid to join completely. If you get scared, you can choose to live without her.”

“What happens to her? I mean, if say I don’t want to share my body?”

“She will die.”

Oh, that was nice. She would be a murderer. “Has anyone ever done that?”

“A few.”

A cold chill swept over her. Damn, she’d forgotten she was naked. As if he sensed her discomfiture, he walked to the window, keeping his back toward her. She started to retrieve the clothes she had on earlier, but changed her mind at the last minute, and grabbed sweats and clean underclothes out of her bag, and quickly dressed.

“You can turn around.”

Rogar looked disappointed when he faced her. Too bad. She was not going to make this a love nest when she was on a mission.

“I liked the other clothes.”

“I’m sure you did, but this is me. I like comfort.” And these clothes made her feel less sexy, less horny. No wonder DeeDee had sex on the brain.

“You look cute in those, too,” he said after taking a full minute to study her.

“Yeah, right.”

He nodded. “Because I know what lies beneath the clothes.”

Only Rogar could make her feel sexy wearing baggy sweats. “Okay, how do I make my animal guide trust me?”

“Talk to her.”

“Talk to her?” Yeah, right. Did he really expect her to go around talking to her invisible friend? That’s pretty much what she would be doing.

“We could always try the ritual.”

He sounded too eager. “Okay, I’ll talk to myself, but not in front of you.” She didn’t want to look any more like a fool than she had to.

“I’ll leave then.”

“That would be great.” Then she thought about him wandering around the camp. Not a good idea. “On second thought, I’ll leave. You stay inside.”

“It might help if you were nearer the goddess who created the animals. I saw woods behind the house. That would be a good place to connect with your guide.”

“Do you have a lot of deities on New Symtaria?”

“We have many. We pay homage to them at different festivals. Everyone in the nearby dwellings share food, and there are games. The people enjoy it very much.”

“It sounds like fun.”

“You could find out for yourself. Come back with me. We are good together.”

She shook her head. “This is my home. I worked hard to get through college. It took me longer than some because I didn’t have a lot of money, but I made it. I can’t throw that all away.”

“I understand wanting something very badly.”

She had a feeling he was talking about her, but he only needed her so he could complete his mission. Yeah, the sex was great, but it wasn’t as though he would want her all the time once he returned home.

“I won’t be gone long,” she said. She walked through the house, and out the back door.

As she left, she wondered what it would be like to have someone want her all the time. She used to imagine having loving parents, and maybe a couple of sisters or brothers. They could’ve played together, and even had a few fights, but there would’ve been a bond that held true.

But then, not all families were fairy tales. She’d come to the conclusion that most were dysfunctional. DeeDee had once told her that her aunt and mother had stopped talking years ago. So maybe families weren’t that great.

She stepped out of the clearing and past the trees. She and DeeDee had actually explored these woods. The golf course was on the other side.

Callie walked about halfway between the golf course and the house, saw a tree that had fallen, and made herself comfortable on it. Meditating didn’t really work for her so she decided to just talk, as Rogar had suggested. But what should she say?

It had been a long time since she’d actually heard the voice. Her imaginary friend, as the doctor had called her guide. If he’d only known. But the voice had seemed like a friend. Her only real one, besides Alma. Alma had been adopted so that hadn’t lasted long.

Callie thought back, trying to remember what it had felt like. Rogar was right when he said she would know when her animal guide connected. The voice inside her had been different.

“I remember you,” she finally said, closing her eyes so she could concentrate better. “You came to me when I was all alone, and had no one else. We were friends.”

Nothing. But then, Rogar had said the guide was afraid to come out.

“You talked to me mostly at night.” She would lie on her bed, one in a row of eight, and there were eight more across from her. Anyone would think with that many girls she wouldn’t have been lonely, but it was hard to make friends, especially when they would get adopted, and she knew she’d never see them again.

But she’d had her guide.

“Please don’t be afraid. I promise I won’t hurt you.”

“Hello, Callie.”

She let out a sigh of relief. “I’ve missed you.” And she knew she had. It was as though an old friend had returned.

“It has been a long time.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be, because I really haven’t thought about you at all. I mean, you certainly aren’t the type to run with my crowd.”

Huh? Her eyes flew open. Oh, damn, Constance Gentry. “I was…meditating. Getting in touch with my inner self.”