The James Bond Bedside Companion (23 page)

Above all, he liked it that everything was one's own fault. There was only oneself to praise or blame. Luck was a servant and not a master. Luck had to be accepted with a shrug or taken advantage of up to the hilt. But it had to be understood and recognized for what it was and not confused with a faulty appreciation of the odds, for, at gambling, the deadly sin is to mistake bad play for bad luck. And luck in all its moods had to be loved and not feared. Bond saw luck as a woman, to be softly wooed or brutally ravaged, never pandered to or pursued.

(CASINO ROYALE, Chapter 7)

This philosophy of Bond's runs throughout the novels thematically. Too often Bond must depend on luck to bring him through a crisis or a decision. Though he hates to admit it, luck plays an important part in his work as a secret agent

For miscellany's sake, Vivienne Michel notes that Bond's handwriting is very clear and even, and that Bond uses a real pen and not a ball-point One of Bond's favorite expressions is "So that's the score!" and it should be noted that James Bond is not too shy to sing aloud. He first meets Honeychile Rider in DOCTOR NO by joining her in a verse of "Marion."

Q
uite naturally, Ian Fleming's taste for luxurious meals, fine liquor, and elegant surroundings is shared by James Bond. Bond explains himself to Vesper Lynd over dinner in CASINO ROYALE:

"You must forgive me," he said. "I take a ridiculous pleasure in what I eat and drink It comes partly from being a bachelor, but mostly from a habit of taking a lot of trouble over details. It's very pernickety and old-maidish really, but then when I'm working I generally have to eat my meals alone and it makes them more interesting when one takes trouble."

(CASINO ROYALE, Chapter 8)

Later on, Fleming emphasizes Bond's particularities:

James Bond was not a gourmet In England he lived on grilled soles, oeufs cocotte and cold roast beef with potato salad. But when travelling abroad, generally by himself, meals were a welcome break in the day, something to look forward to, something to break the tension of fast driving, with its risks taken or avoided, the narrow squeaks, the permanent background of concern for the fitness of his machine.

(ON HER MAJESTY'S SECRET SERVICE, Chapter 2)

James Bond is actually a
gourmand.
Only Bond would insist that his eggs be boiled precisely for three and a third minutes. Breakfast is Bond's favorite meal of the day. When he's in England, the breakfast is always the same and consists of very strong coffee (from De Bry in New Oxford Street, brewed in an American Chemex) of which he drinks two large cups, black and without sugar. That single egg is a very fresh, speckled brown egg from French Marans hens owned by some friend of his housekeeper, May, in the coutry. It is served in a dark blue egg cup with a gold ring around the top. It amuses Bond to maintain that there is such a thing as "the perfect boiled egg." Next comes two thick slices of whole-wheat toast, "a large pat of deep yellow Jersey buffer and three squat glass jars containing Tiptree 'Little Scarlet' strawberry jam; Cooper's Vintage Oxford marmalade and Norwegian Heather Honey from Fortnum's." Breakfast is a ritual for Bond, and his day never seems to go well without it.

Bond likes scrambled eggs, too, although he usually has these for lunch rather than breakfast Bond always relays specific orders on how to make his special scrambled eggs, usually eaten with smoked salmon. Fleming provides the recipe in a short story entitled "007 in
New York," which appears in his travelogue, THRILLING CITIES:

Scrambled Eggs "James Bond"

For FOUR individualists:

12 fresh eggs

salt and pepper

5-6 oz. fresh butter

Break the eggs into a bowl. Beat thoroughly with a fork and season well. In a small copper (or heavy-bottomed saucepan) melt four oz. of the butter. When melted, pour in the eggs and cook over a very low heat, whisking continuously with a small egg whisk.

While the eggs are slightly more moist than you would wish for eating, remove pan from heat, add rest of butter and continue whisking for half a minute, adding the while finely chopped chives or fines herbes. Serve on hot buttered toast in individual copper dishes (for appearance only) with pink champagne (Taittainger) and low music.

("007 in New York," THRILLING CITIES)

The time Bond spends with Felix Leiter on a case is usually over a meal. While snooping in Harlem, Leiter insists on having "the national dish"—Little Neck clams and fried chicken Maryland with bacon and sweet corn. These men are always attempting to impress each other by ordering the other man's meal before he can speak to the waiter. On one occasion in New York, while Bond is in the washroom of Sardi's (one of his favorite New York establishments), Leiter "takes a chance" and orders smoked salmon and Brizzola (Leiter insists it's the best cut of beef, straight cut across the bone, roasted and then broiled). Bond is pleased with the meal, and is impressed that the Brizzola is so tender he can cut it with a fork. At a "Chicken in the Basket" in upstate New York, the men enjoy scrambled eggs and sausages with hot buttered rye toast Bond likes these little American roadside eateries, and Fleming's descriptive powers add to their "flavor."

But the men show an extreme distaste for the commercialism of the tourist traps in the Bahamas. At the Royal Bahamian in Nassau, Bond and Leiter are disgusted by the menu:

From the pretentious dishes, "For Your Particular Consideration," printed in Ornamental Gothic, Bond chose Native Seafood Cocktail Supreme followed by Disjointed Home Fán Chicken, Sauté au Cresson, which was described in italics as "Tender Farm Chicken, Broiled to a Rich Brown, Basted with Creamery Butter and Disjointed for Your Convenience. Price 38/6 or dollars 5.35." Felix Leiter went for the Baltic Herring in Sour Cream followed by "Chopped Tenderloin of Beef, French Onion Rings (Our Renowned Beef is Chef-Selected from the Finest Corn-fed, Mid-Western Cattle, and Aged to Perfection to Assure You of the Very Best). Price 40/3 or dollars 5.65."

When they commented sourly and at length about the inflated bogosity of tourist-hotel food and particularly the mendacious misuse of the English language to describe materials which had certainly been in various deep-freezes for at least six months, they settled down on the balcony to discuss Bond's findings of the morning.

(THUNDERBALL, Chapter 12)

During the above meal, Felix Leiter throws down his knife and fork and says, "This is hamburger and bad hamburger. The French onion rings were never in France, and what's more, they're not even rings. They're oval."

When he's in Jamaica, Bond enjoys something called "paw-paw with a slice of green lime, a dish piled with red bananas, purple star-apples, and tangerines, scrambled eggs and bacon, Blue Mountain coffee, Jamaican marmalade (almost black), and guava jelly." The Blue Mountain coffee is supposedly the "best in the world."

The dinner meals are always something exquisite. On his first date with Vesper Lynd, he tells her to order expensively. Vesper tells the waiter:

"I'd made two choices," she laughed, "and either would have been delicious; but behaving like a millionaire occasionally is a wonderful treat, and if you're sure. . . well, I'd like to start with caviar and then have a plain grilled rognon de veau with pommes souffles. And then I'd like to have fraises des bois with a lot of cream. Is it very shameless to be so certain and so expensive?" She smiled at him inquiringly.

"It's a virtue, and anyway it's only a good plain wholesome meal." He turned to the maitre d'hotel. "And bring plenty of toast."

"The trouble always is," he explained to Vesper, "not how to get caviar, but how to get enough toast with it

"Now," he turned back to the menu, "I myself will accompany Mademoiselle with the caviar; but then I would like a very small tournedos, underdone, with sauce Béamaise and a coeur d'artichaut While Mademoiselle is enjoying the strawberries, I will have an avocado pear with a little French dressing. Do you approve?"

(CASINO ROYALE, Chapter 8)

Once, while in Miami, Bond has what he calls "the most delicious meal he had had in his life." Bond is wined and dined by an American millionaire, Mr. Junius Du Pont, and he is afforded the opportunity to
indulge. He has stone crabs containing the tenderest, sweetest shellfish meat he has ever tasted. The meat is perfectly set off by the dry toast and slightly burned taste of melted butter. After each helping of crab, champagne cleans his palate for the next. Once this meal is bloating his belly, Bond is momentarily disgusted with himself.

The most celebrated of all the Bond dinners occurs in MOONRAKER, when Bond dines with M at Blades Club. Fleming devotes an entire chapter to the meal, and although the reader may not be familiar with much of the food consumed, Fleming's tasty descriptions are mouth watering. M orders caviar, devilled kidney with a slice of bacon, peas, and new potatoes. This is followed by strawberries in kirsch and a marrow bone. Bond has lamb cutlets, the same vegetables as M, asparagus with Hollandaise sauce, and a slice of pineapple. Along with all that, Bond has sliced smoked Scotch salmon on toast. The salmon has "the delicate glutinous texture only achieved by the Highland curers—very different from the desiccated products of Scandinavia." The cutlets are again so tender he can cut them with a fork And M, of course, is in heaven with his marrow bone—something he can't resist.

The most amusing dinner sequences appear in YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE, as Tiger Tanaka initiates Bond into the culinary delights of Japan. At one point, Bond is "wrestling" with his octopus and rice, and is about to savor a lobster specialty:

Lacquer boxes of rice, raw quails' eggs in sauce, and bowls of sliced seaweed were placed in front of them both. Then they were each given a fine oval dish bearing a large lobster whose head and tail had been left as a dainty ornament to the sliced pink flesh in the centre. Bond set to with his chopsticks. He was surprised to find that the flesh was raw. He was even more surprised when the head of his lobster began moving off his dish and, with questing antennae and scrabbling feet, tottered off across the table. "Good God, Tiger!" Bond said, aghast. "The damn thing's alive!"

Tiger hissed impatiently, "Really, Bondo-san. I am much disappointed in you. You fail test after test. I sincerely hope you will show improvement during the rest of your journey. Now eat up and stop being squeamish. This is a very great Japanese delicacy."

James Bond bowed ironically.
"Shimatta!"
he said. "I have made a mistake. It crossed my mind that honourable Japanese lobster might not like being eaten alive. Thank you for correcting the unworthy thought."

(YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE, Chapter 9)

Bond also has the opportunity to try Kobe beef, which is reported to be the finest in the world. At one
point,
he is awarded the treat of tasting a
fugu
feast.
Fugu
is the Japanese blowfish equipped with poisonous glands, but the meat is the staple food of
sumo
wrestlers because of its strength-giving qualities. Bond thinks the fish tastes like nothing, not even fish. But "it was very pleasant on the palate and Bond was effusive in his compliments because Tiger, smacking his lips over each morsel, obviously expected it of him."

"And now, my friend, I have ordered dinner, a good dinner, to be served us up here. And then we will go to bed stinking of garlic and, perhaps, just a little bit drunk. Yes?"

From his heart Bond said, "I can't think of anything better."

(ON HER MAJESTY'S SECRET SERVICE, Chapter 23)

This statement implies that James Bond likes to drink. From the moment James Bond gives a waiter special instructions for mixing a martini in CASINO ROYALE, we know that he is especially a hard-liquor man:

"A dry Martini," he said. "One. In a deep champagne goblet."

"Oui, Monsieur."

"Just a moment. Three measures of Gordon's, one of vodka, half a measure of Kina Lillet Shake it very well until it's ice-cold, then add a large thin slice of lemon-peel. Got it?"

(CASINO ROYALE, Chapter 7)

And thus is born the famous James Bond martini, "shaken but not stirred." After the martini is brought to the table and tasted, Bond tells the barman that if he can obtain a vodka made with grain instead of potatoes, he'll find the drink even better than it is. Later on in the book, Bond dubs his original martini "The Vesper," after the heroine of the first Bond novel. Actually, Fleming was contested over his use of Kina Lillet, which contains quinine and might be very bitter in a martini. Simple Lillet vermouth would have been more appropriate. The martini is contagious, for even Felix Leiter develops a taste for it He chastizes a bartender in THUNDERBALL for not following instructions in making it Bond's standard variation of the martini is simply vodka, medium dry.