I
roll my eyes.
This
is my mother.
“You
said there was one more thing?” I ask.
“Yes,”
she says. “When the two of you fornicated, did
you
use a condom?”
“Oh,
for god’s sake…”
Information
Overload
Eric
“I
think what you’ve got to do is to give her a little bit of time, but make sure
she knows that you’re thinking about her, only don’t be pushy, but don’t just
lie down and let things break apart, you know, unless you have to,” Irene says.
We’ve
been at this for hours and, surprisingly, the more sober she’s gotten, the less
sense her advice has made.
“I’m
pretty sure you just gave me a list of contradictions,” I tell her. “Is there
anything I’m supposed to do with that, or are you just running through
possibilities out loud?”
“Well,
it’s not so easy to know what it is until you know what it is,” she says. “Do
you know what it is?”
The
doorbell rings.
“I
should probably get that,” I tell her.
“All
right,” she says, “I should probably catch a cab anyway. Alec’s going to be
back soon, and I’ve got a couple of surprises for him.”
“I
will pay for your cab fare if you don’t tell me what those surprises are,” I
smile.
I
appreciate the effort Irene’s put into trying to help me today, but I don’t
think I’ve gleaned a single clear, useful idea out of the whole discussion.
She
makes the motion of zipping her lips shut and I pull forty bucks out of my
wallet and hand it to her.
We
get to the door, and I open it.
“Listen!”
Jessica starts, but immediately stops when she sees Irene.
“Jessica!”
Irene exclaims. “It is so great to see you again. Did you have fun at the
party? Oh, well, I should get going anyway. You two have a good night,
goodbye!”
Jessica
and I watch Irene as she leaves, waiting for all of her words to process. It
takes a minute.
“Can
I come in?” Jessica asks me finally.
“Of
course,” I tell her, shutting the door behind her. “I just wanted to say—”
“No,”
she interrupts. “I have a few things I want to say first.”
“Okay,”
I respond and, before I can ask her if I can get her anything to drink, she
just lets loose and starts screaming at me.
“Listen,
you stupid son of a bitch…”
That’s
how it starts and it doesn’t get any nicer.
At
first, I’m waiting for her to stop so I can respond, then I’m waiting for her
to take a breath so I can jump in without technically interrupting her. Finally,
I’ve given up completely and we’re having a shouting match.
The
few words I can get in, though, are quickly and easily overpowered by the sheer
force and volume of her anger.
She’s
screaming at me for a very long time.
The
Big Goodbye
Jessica
There
are a lot of emotions as I stand outside the store I spent so much time
building, the idea I’d spent so much time nurturing, growing. Now, I’m locking
the doors for the very last time.
The
moment isn’t without its ceremony, as my family and everyone who’s worked for
me over these last few years is waiting for me on the sidewalk.
My
mom’s standing with my dad, both of whom are trying to keep their distance from
Jed while simultaneously keeping as close as they can to Kristin and—I still
have a hard time saying it—Percival.
He’s
almost two now and Kristin’s already starting to bend with the weight of
holding him.
I
kind of want to give a speech to commemorate the closing of Lady Bits’ doors,
but there are too many people and I’m simply not that good on my feet, so I
just turn back toward the store and take one final look back at the place where
I’ve spent so much of my adult life, trying to do something I believed in,
making plenty of friends and, yes, even some enemies along the way.
A
hand falls on my shoulder and I straighten my posture.
The
key slides easily into the door and too quickly, the moment is over. The doors
are locked.
The
store is closed.
I
turn around and start making my rounds, thanking everyone on my way for their
part in helping my dream to come true.
When
I get to Linda, I stop and raise an eyebrow to her.
“We’ve
had some ups and downs, haven’t we?” I ask.
She
snickers and adjusts her baby girl in her arms.
The
girl’s name is Jessica. As weird as it sounds—okay, as weird as it absolutely
is—she actually named her child after me.
“It
hasn’t been all bad,” she says. “You remember Paolo, don’t you?”
“Yes,”
I say, extending my hand and shaking his. “It’s good to see you again, Paolo.”
After
Eric and Linda hooked up that day years ago, Paolo came back into her life and
Linda, now Mrs.
Navas
, never looked back.
“I’m
surprised Eric didn’t show up,” Linda says. “He had a pretty big part in
turning things around here, too.”
“That’s
just the way it goes,” I tell her and I give her a hug.
“Do
you know if he’s still planning on picking up Jessica tonight? Paolo’s going to
have the car, so I wouldn’t be able to drop her off until later,” she says.
“I
don’t know,” I answer. “Have you tried calling him?”
I’m
running late, but there’s someone else with whom I really want to have a quick
word before I have to go and leave this store behind me.
“Alec,”
I say, giving quite possibly the laziest man I’ve ever met a big hug. “Thank
you for everything,” I tell him. “I never thought you’d get Burbank to agree to
sit down, much less actually talk him into renegotiating such a good deal for
us. Thank you for that.”
“What
can I say?” he asks. “I could charm a nun out of her habit.”
“Yeah,
you still kind of creep me out,” I tell him.
I
go to hug Irene, but by the way she’s putting her hand over her mouth, I
reconsider applying any pressure to her upper body. I really like these shoes.
My
mom and dad are already walking back to their car and, as everyone disperses, I
can’t help but feel gratitude for the fact that my crotchety mother is still
around to irritate the shit out of me.
I
say my goodbyes to everyone that’s still around and, inside of ten minutes, I’m
in my car, driving.
This
isn’t how I expected my life to turn out, but all things considered, I think
I’ve been pretty fortunate.
When
I get to the new location—or as I like to call it, Lady Bits 2.0—I’m filled
with a sense of pride.
Things
really turned around after I promoted Cheryl and once the word spread, things
just kept getting bigger and bigger until that little store wasn’t big enough
to hold it all.
The
new store opens in a few days, but before that happens, there are a few things
that I need to take care of.
After
all this time, the person I have to thank most wasn’t there to see me close
down my first store.
Eric,
despite the sharp turn our relationship took while still in its infancy, did
more to turn things around for me than anyone. He gave me the courage to sit
back and accept help and, despite the fact that I still think the plus section
would have looked better indented a little further into the ground, the work he
did inside the store and outside of it really took things to a place I didn’t
think they could go.
It’s
a shame he couldn’t make it to the closing today.
That
being said, he’s got a lot of work to do.
I
walk into the nearly complete building and, even though I’ve been through these
doors dozens of times now, I’m still taken aback by the size and the brilliance
of the new store.
José
almost runs over me as he’s helping one of his guys move a large display stand.
“Have
you seen Eric?” I ask.
José
still never says more than a few words at a time to me. I think he’s still
holding onto some lingering fear that I’m going to have him fired for breaking
into my first store.
“He’s
in the back,” José says and keeps going, telling his worker to speed it up,
that they haven’t got all day.
So,
I make my way to the back of the new store, dodging Ian as he tosses what I can
only hope is a shelled pistachio nut over twenty feet into an electrician’s
mouth.
“Is
Eric back here?” I ask.
“Yeah,”
Ian answers and then dodges to the left with his mouth wide open, but misses
the poorly thrown return volley. “Last I saw, he was back near swimwear.”
“Thanks,”
I tell him and quickly move out of the way so the two can continue cluttering
up the floor of my otherwise pristine new building.
Eric
is crouched down, making sure that a small platform is level.
“Hey,
could I talk to you a minute?” I ask.
He
turns around and stands, brushing his mid-length hair away from his eyes.
“Yeah,”
he says. “Just give me a minute to finish checking this. I don’t know if it’s
my level or what, but this section right here is off-center.”
“It
can wait,” I tell him. “Come with me, please.”
He
leaves the level behind and follows me back to what will be my office when the
new store finally opens.
“How
are we doing on cost?” I ask.
“Well,
your last-minute changes have driven things up a bit, but I don’t think we’re
going to end up too far above what we’d originally talked about,” he answers.
“Will
you close the door?” I ask.
“Sure,”
he says and kicks the door closed.
Before
the door is latched, our arms are around each other and I’m pressing into his
firm chest, kissing him deeply on the lips.
When
I pull away, he’s smiling.
“How
did it go closing up over there?” he asks.
“Not
too bad,” I tell him. “It was a bit rough saying goodbye to the old place, but
with all the volume we’re moving, it just wasn’t going to work keeping it
open.”
“You
know,” he says, “if you weren’t such a major control freak, you could have left
the other store open and just let someone else run it.”
“Oh,
shut up,” I scoff and hit him playfully on the chest.
“What
did you want to talk to me about, boss?”
“You
know,” I tell him, “we’re getting married tomorrow. I really think you can
start calling me by my name from now on.”
“Eh,”
he shrugs, “while we’re at work, you’re the boss and don’t pretend like that
doesn’t turn you on a little.”
He’s
right about that.
“What’s
on your mind?” he asks.
“Well,”
I start, “first off, Linda wanted to know if you’re going to be able to pick up
Jessica tonight.”
“Yeah,”
he says. “She just called. I told her I’d swing by just as soon as I’m off
work. I was thinking we could take her to the park tonight.”
“Cool,”
I say. “Now, I know we’re running out of time and everything, but I’ve been
looking at pictures of some of the more modern clothing stores, and there are a
few things I’d like to implement before the paint is dry. I know the schedule
is tight, but I really think we can get this done and it’s going to look so
much better.”
“Oh,
you’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” he groans.
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