The Journal: Ash Fall (3 page)

The office area, which was at street level
and a definite attraction for a doctor’s office, would need a great
deal of remodeling. I needed to ask Anna who was going to pay for
all of this.

* * *

I had Dr. Robbins park his car, that same
gray compact, at the Inn, and climb on the ATV with me, instantly
feeling it to be a mistake. I could feel his warm breath on the
back of my neck and the nearness of his very male body. The four
block tour took less than ten minutes, even stopping to point out
places of interest: the post office, the ball field, the school,
two churches and a bar. Moose Creek was four blocks square and
didn’t have a traffic light, just four stop signs that most
ignored. The main road, County Road 695, ended there. The joke in
town was if you were there, it was either intentional or you were
lost. There was no driving through; you had to turn around and go
back to go anywhere else. This one way in had served us well when
dealing with the gang of prisoners we called The Wheelers, named so
from the four wheelers they rode in on.

After our short tour, I got Dr. Robbins
checked into the Inn, and told him we would be in touch when Jason
needed to talk with him.

“Allex, please stay and have dinner with me,”
Mark asked, smiling warmly, showing an obvious personal interest. I
really hate being called Allex. “It’s been a long time since I’ve
met a beautiful and intelligent woman. I’d like to know you
better.”

“That’s very flattering, Mark, however I must
decline,” I said politely. “And the name is Allexa.” I retreated
quickly before I would have to explain that I was still suffering
from a badly broken heart and that only one person could get away
with calling me Allex and it wasn’t him. How did I tell a very
attractive man he didn’t interest me? That I felt numb inside?
Easy, I didn’t. I ran.

* * *

Since I was already in town, and to save gas,
I drove the short distance over to the Dam Road to talk to Jason
about the renovation of the new doctor’s house. I hugged my
grandson Jacob and he went back to his room to play.

Jason was enthused about getting some
carpentry work. Work of any sort was still hard to come by. “A
doctor in town? That’s awesome, Mom!”

“Amanda,” I said to Jason’s wife, “how would
you like a job cleaning? I know you’re a marvelous housekeeper, and
I think you would be perfect for getting that place ready for the
doctor to move in. He might even hire you for an on-going
position.”

“Oh, Mom, that would be great, thank you,”
Amanda instantly replied. “I’m sure the doctor would like to move
in as soon as possible. Can you meet with him tomorrow about the
details?”

“Sure. From what you’ve said, the living
quarters might not take much, just some upgrading, if I can find
the supplies.”

* * *

It was a beautiful night; the temperature was
in the low 60’s, there was only a slight warm breeze, a perfect
night for sitting outside - before the mosquitoes wake up. The full
moon rose in the darkened sky. Not the white shiny orb of winter, a
dull yellow tinged with orange, as though there was something high
in the upper atmosphere filtering the reflection. I watched as some
random dark wisps of clouds made their way across the face in a
jagged dance, to eventually obscure the moon itself into a smudge
of light hanging low in the night.

May 3

Regular chores still needed to be done. I
found that out a long time ago while living deep in the woods.
Unlike in the woods, here I had even more to do: chickens needed
tending, the garden would need attention once it was planted, all
the yard work, stacking wood, laundry and housework fell on me
alone, once again. I’d done it all by myself before, I know I could
do it again. Right now, laundry was waiting.

After I sorted out the clothes, I started
with the heavy stuff first, since it would take the longest to dry
on the clotheslines outside. I checked pockets as each thing went
in the machine. That’s when I found that envelope from Anna. I had
completely forgotten about it. I added soap and turned the water
on, thankful for the convenience of on demand power to pump the
well.

I poured myself a fresh cup of coffee, opened
the envelope, and almost choked on that first sip! The township had
deemed my past services as the Emergency Manager for Moose Creek
were worthy of $1,000 per month! After the usual taxes, I was
looking at a check of almost five thousand dollars. I was stunned.
My mind started racing on what I could use that money for. First
would be resupplying all the food and supplies I had used over the
winter; or maybe a small solar array, or even a greenhouse. This
was going to take some careful planning. I started a list, my
thoughts whirling with possibilities.

* * *

At noon, Jason, Amanda and I met Dr. Robbins
at the house he was to occupy. Jason had turned on the power and
the water first, so there was electricity and he could test the
plumbing. Amanda had thought to bring cleaners, disinfectants, mop
and bucket, vacuum cleaner and dust rags, and while Jason and the
doctor went room to room discussing what needed fixing or
replacing, she started cleaning in the living room. With only that
room, a small kitchen, bathroom and two bedrooms, it wouldn’t take
her long. I excused myself, and went across the street to talk to
Anna.

“So how did last night go?” Anna asked with a
grin, tapping her manicured fingers together. I looked at her
confused. “With the good doctor? I could tell right off that he’s
interested in you!” She leaned back in her brown leather chair,
expecting some juicy gossip.

“We toured the house across the street, and
then I gave him a tour of town, which you know takes all of ten
minutes. I made sure he was checked in to the Inn, and then, Anna,”
I leaned on her desk with both hands, “I refused his dinner
invitation and went home.” She froze. “Please, do not try match
making. Let it go.”

“I’m sorry. I thought maybe after John left
you might …” she let that trail off.

“Business, Madam Supervisor,” I retreated to
hold up the door jamb with my shoulder. “Who is paying for the
repairs and remodeling of the doctor’s new residence?” Back on
formal footing, she stiffened some.

“The township is leasing the house to Dr.
Robbins for $1. He’s responsible for all the work at making the
office functional beyond structural. We’ll pick up the tab for any
repairs to the residence. Repairs, not esthetic replacement.
Anything beyond repairs is on his tab.” Her quick answer confirmed
my suspicion that she had already selected that place for the new
doctor and pulling me into the situation was an unwelcomed bit of
strategy.

“That sounds reasonable,” I responded.
Satisfied, I went back across the road, fairly certain Anna would
leave my personal life alone now.

* * *

I took the sandwich I made for dinner to the
TV room, and flipped on the news. I couldn’t believe half of the
political diatribe that was spouted, while other events needed no
glossing over, like the frequency of severe tremors along fault
lines. I turned on the computer and logged into the National
Earthquake site. The minor movements rarely made the news, however,
the swarms could be a red flag of something bigger coming. I had my
settings to show all activity, no matter how slight. Most of what I
read centered out west, away from the New Madrid. I breathed a sigh
of relief and finished my sandwich.

CHAPTER 3

May 4

I added a quart of gas to the rototiller and
made a couple more passes to the garden, churning up the soil,
releasing a heady earthy scent, then walked it back into the barn
and shut it off. The chickens would scratch around in the freshly
turned soil and even out some of the ruts, the rest I would
rake.

Part of last fall’s preps was getting new
fencing and more posts. It had been covered with a tarp and stored
under the cistern until needed, which was now. I knew I needed to
redo the chickens’ yard and buying the material early would save me
money on the price increase. Little did I know at the time that
there would be a horrendous increase in price, and a definite lack
of availability. I thanked my stars that I did what I did back
then. I believed in having whatever was needed before it was
needed. I had preached that on my internet groups, and lived by my
words. If I hadn’t, I would not be able to do the necessary fencing
now.

By creating a second enclosed yard, I would
be able to seed one and close it off while the chickens were
confined to the first one. Once there was adequate grass growing, I
would switch the gates, and plant the first yard, then continue
with that method all summer. Keeping them fed was going to take
some ingenuity. No more running to the feed store. We might have
power restored, and gas in our tanks, but things were definitely
not back to normal, and they may never be.

I had just taken down all the old fencing
when I saw the pale green car cruise slowly down the road. I didn’t
think much more about it. Not until I felt that stirring, that
feeling of someone being near. I straighten up, squaring my
shoulders, my heart thudding hard in my chest.

“I can feel when you come near me, you know.
I don't have to see you to know you're there," I said as I turned
slowly. John was standing just outside the garden at the entrance
gate.

The emotions that surged through my body
almost caused me to sway: the joy, happiness, sadness, anger and
relief, all conflicting, all hitting me at once. I could not have
stayed where I was if I wanted to. I was drawn to him like that
proverbial moth to the flame and I offered no resistance. I opened
the gate and stepped out, closing it behind me.

“You left me,” I stated simply.

“I’m back.”

“Are you so sure I’ll take you back?”

“No.”

The admission startled me.

“Where have you been?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

What an odd conversation this was.

“I’ve missed you,” my voice broke on the
words. I remained steady, almost defiant.

“I couldn’t stay away any longer,” John
confessed, and reached out for me. I slid comfortably into his
arms. We stood there, just holding each other, for the longest
time. Then I let go and backed away.

“I’m still angry at you.”

“You should be. I’m mad at me too. Can we
talk?” John asked. I don’t think I ever saw him so unsure in the
two years I’d known him.

“Have a seat at the picnic table. I’ll get us
some iced tea,” I said. I took my time getting our drinks. I found
a tray, set the glasses filled with ice cubes, added the sugar
bowl, wondering if he took his cold tea as sweet-tea like many
southerners do, then I placed a small pitcher filled with golden
herbal tea in the center.

* * *

The wooden picnic table that nestled between
the tall maple trees was my birthday present from Jason last year
and was well shaded with the newly sprouting leaves. The sun was
streaming through and dappled the pine boards with splashes of
muted green. I intentionally set the tray to the side as I didn’t
want anything obstructing my view of John. I could see he had put a
little weight back on, and his face was less pale, like he had been
spending some time in the sun. He looked wonderful to me. I
silently poured some tea into each glass and set one glass in front
of myself, allowing him to take his own. I took a tentative sip,
mostly to quench my too dry throat. There was a time when the
ensuing silence would have been companionable. Now it was awkward,
with each of us waiting for the other to say something.

John set a ring of car keys on the table
between us. “These are for you.”

“What do you mean?” I asked, only glancing at
the keys.

“I bought you a new car. Well it’s not
new-new, but the newest one I could get. Automotive manufacturing
has shut down.” He pointed over his shoulder to the minty green
SUV. “And before you say anything, I know you need a new car and
that you haven’t gotten one because of all the money you sank into
your preps. Preps that kept not only you and your family alive this
past winter, but me too. This is my way of saying thank you,
Allex.”

“We’ll discuss this later,” I said, leaving
the keys untouched. “Talk to me, John. Why did you leave like you
did? It was such a shock.” All the pain of watching him walk away
came rushing back, bruising my still broken heart.

He ran his hands from his forehead back
across his bald head, a gesture that was undoubtedly unconscious
and that was also so him. I stifled my sob by taking another sip of
tea.

“I knew if I didn’t just leave, I wouldn’t be
able to, and I had to go back. There were things I needed to do and
get.” He rolled the cold glass between his hands and set it back
down again. “See, Green Way pays me very well and I wanted to buy
you this car,” he waved his hand toward the driveway. “There are so
many things I’d like to give you and I can’t without working.”
There was a plea in his voice.

“I told you before you don’t have to pay me
back anything! I don’t want the car, I don’t want anything.” Just
you, I added silently. “It’s been six weeks since you left. Where
have you been? Why haven’t you at least called?” I really wasn’t
sure I was ready for his answers.

“When I got back to the house on Eagle Beach,
most of the guys were already there, acting like not much had
happened. Steve was cooking breakfasts, Sandy was cooking dinners,
and the routine was so easy to fall into. I was different.” He
paused, finally taking a drink of his tea, no sugar. I’ll remember
that.