The Keepers (10 page)

“
You are being
ignorant. Can’t you see the file. You saw them
,”
The First
-rank-opp
replied.

“
Nonetheless,
he took the blade and cut himself. That’s all there is to
it.”

“
F**kin
amazing huh, Sir First,”
The First
-rank-opp said contemptuously. “The very guy who has evaded
our attempts, kills himself. The guy we’ve all wanted to kill but
just could not find the least minimal consequences to do so kills
himself,”
he said ironically.

“
He killed
himself that’s that.”

“
No he did
not. He did not kill himself. Something killed him. You know
it.”

“
What do you
want me to say huh?”

The question
went through the restricted room. The light was on but they were in
front of a cabinet higher than their heads and the light was behind
it and it made the side they were on dark.
The
First
-rank-opp could not see the facial
expression of
The First
but the sound of
his voice when he asked the question revealed his uncertainty- the
uncertainty of whether your life’s existence meant
what you
had been thinking it meant at
all.

“
You want me
to admit that something out there killed him? Who then?” He sighed
“I thought we were the keepers. And now you want me to admit that
there is something out there that might be keeping us?” He grumbled
and hit the cabinet with his right fist. It tilted back a bit and
the light shown on
The First
keeper’s
face. Momentarily before the cabinet returned to its original
position, but that moment of light on
The First
keeper’s face was enough to show his panic, his distress and
his destroyed self-importance through his eyes. “You want me to say
it!” It was not a question.

“
Say it. You
are
The First
”
The
First
-rank-opp said. “Say it!” he said again more
tenaciously.

“
We are not in
charge then.”
The First
keeper said. “We
the keepers, have been been kept.” A groan and a gritting of teeth
then “The momentum is alive
,”
h
e said quietly.

“
That’s the
answer I was expecting. How come we never saw it before? Funny, one
would think that It has been hiding Itself. hu
h?
”
he chuckled sardonically,
but The First
did not joined him. Then he thought
about
The First
’s plan, about how he knew
nothing, really about it, and about what would happen to
it.

“
Now what of
the orphan?”
he asked.

“
I don’t
know
,”
The First
said honestly. “I don’t know about the plan anymore and I
don’t know about the new boss. I guess I am no longer
The
First
. A demotion. Why It chose me to choose him,
if I may say, I also don’t know. I know nothing now.”

“
Okay. The
feeling is mutual, I assure you,”
The First
-rank-opp replied in an assuring matter-of-fact tone “but you
had a plan. Tell me it.”

“
Might as
well. The plan was simple. I was to have the orphan, raise him with
the principles promoting the momentum and then give him beauty.
Right now, he is just handsome. He keeps some of the principles to
heart. I was so close, in a year or so I would have given him
beauty and so solve the sexual problem.” He paused and took a deep
breath followed by an equal sigh.

“
That’s what
you meant when you said you know sex.”

“
Yes. The sex
craze would follow Lysei’s beauty and we would use him to keep the
momentum. But alas, after what we have seen, it is best to let the
momentum keep itself
...
an
d
us.
”

He felt pity for The First.
“That was an excellent plan, Sir First. A
solution that would have defined
The First
of this generation. It’s a pity.” He saluted
The
First.

“
On the bright
side, it is our turn, now, to be kept. Let’s go tell the others the
shortened version of these good news.”
The First
said sarcastically. After such a long time of
thinking they were in charge, the discovery of the new boss turned
them upside down.
The First saluted back.

The day Rikki left the
book-store.

I feel extraordinary. I have my
purpose in life, thus I live. I am not driven by stupidity. I am
not driven by money. I believe that my reward is within fulfilling
my purpose in life. What would life be without purpose? Would it
have meaning? To reproduce, then die? That is not a life for a
human being. I say there is a god, then my life will be shaped
around god. If I say there is no god, what would the shape of my
life be? If everyone says there is god, then the shape of life will
take a form of godliness. Then will not the shape where everyone
says there is no god be dangerous. Of course it would. Everyone
will be free. It is not about the freedom of speech, it is not
about economic freedom. It is the freedom that will allow anyone,
destructive or not, to say what they please. The freedom that will
allow anyone to attain their goals by any means necessary. A
terrible freedom. A freedom which- a freedom from purpose. There
has to be order. There has to be rank. There has to be a god. An
absolute God. That would be-

“
Hello
handsome.” A middle-aged prostitute interrupted his thoughts. She
was wearing the usual blue eye shadow, the usual bright glossy red
lipstick, long blonde hair over her shoulders, black latex bra and
a short latex skirt and black shiny high-heels.

“
Hello,” Lysei
replied noncommittally and continued with his walk.

“
Ah come
on
,” she protested as Lysei walked on.
“Half-price since you are handsome
,
”
s
he added loudly when Lysei was a
few meters away.

I love myself
too much
,
h
e thought.

The
orphanage
where
he stayed came into view
and he quickened his pace. He was hungry and dinner was served at
seven o’clock. It was not that he would miss out on the food but
rather he enjoyed eating around the table with Ben, the warden and
all the others. Being there with them made him happy. Sometimes he
thought of how it would be with Monica there, too. If
only.

The sun had completely set by
the time he arrived and he found
Ben sitting on
the porch with a beer can in his hand when he arrived.

“
Uncle Benny,
hello
,” he said

“
Hello
Lys
,”
h
e had
stopped calling him son after Lysei had turned eighteen. “How was
the book-store today?”

“
Same as
usual- not much work to do
,” Lysei said
and sat down next to Ben on the porch step.

“
You getting
along with what’s-her-name?”

“
Monica, yes.
She is alright.”

“
She seems
like a nice girl. Like you, not like the others. She’d do you
good.”

“
Yes she
would.” He was not ashamed of talking about Monica in this way with
Ben.

“
And you make
me a grandfather huh. That would be nice, little Lyseis running
around here.” He took a sip of his beer. “I’m growing old, never
had kids of my own. No that was wrong. I had you guys but
then…“

“
It’s not the
same, I know
,” Lysei finished for
him.

A stillness ensued between
them. The wind was blowing warmly and branches and leaves danced
gracefully in the direction the wind was blowing. The sky was clear
but the glare from the porch light made it impossible to see the
stars. Sound came out from the door; the sound of plates and
utensils being set on a table, the sound of shuffling feet as
dinner was prepared, the sound of babies crying accompanied by
foster parents trying to quiet them down, the sound of older
children laughing accompanied by abhorrent slurs from the foster
parents trying to keep order and then the bell that told that
dinner was ready.

“
It’s the same
Lysei
but a
ll I want is some
grand-children from you. Now let’s go on to eat.” He took a large
gulp from the beer can and then went inside, disposing of it in the
bin next to the door. Lysei followed him.

Ben has taken care of many
children. But I don’t believe any of them has had the genuine
father-son bond as he and I. No wonder he wants grandchildren from
me.

“
Lysei be a
darling and say grace
,”
t
he
orphanage
nurse who
was also in charge of the girls said.

Okay.

“
Dear Lord,
most gracious and most high, thank you for the food that we are
about to eat. In the name of Jesus Christ, blessed be his name,
Amen.”

And everyone
followed by saying
A
men.

This is the
shape I mean
,
h
e said remembering
his earlier thought.

Children below the age of
thirteen years went to sleep at exactly nine o’clock, except on
holidays while the rest could stay up to eleven o’clock. Lysei went
to his room at nine o’clock. He did not sleep but laid down on his
bed in the dark thinking. His room was on the ground floor and the
porch light came in through his window, casting a shadow of a bed
with a man lying on it on the opposite wall.

I feel like
something big is about to happen. Something revolutionary. To
change the world. Does everyone feel this way or is it just me in
the thirteen billion people on this planet? This feeling…contains
my purpose in life. Would I kill to fulfil my purpose? It is my
purpose and anyone who is against my purpose should be killed.
Tolerance is a root of evil. Devise a plan to kill. Should we kill
for- I mean to maintain the proper shape of life?. Yes. It is a
culling and culling is good. If there is no culling, then the good
die with the rotten. I have seen it with animals. Would you force
people to take the proper shape of life? I would convince them for
their own good. Convince, don’t force. And those who cannot be
convinced? Devise a plan to kill. To die for good is for your own
goodness. The children. Convince the children, that is what the
music and movie industries are targeting, the young minds. Monica,
if only I could tell her that I love her. I will. Tomorrow, I’ll
tell her how much I love her. Yes, we were both born from a shape
that understood love. Yes. Values such as integrity, honour and
loyalty. But wait- how are you born from a shape?. Like from under
a specific cloud?. I like
where
this is going. I’ll write a book. Are feelings
derived?
N
o, they are given. Then
thoughts are then also given. The shape gives you thoughts. The
momentum gives you thoughts. The momentum makes you live. How does
it give you thoughts? By making you who you are? By creating you.
Then, my goodness, it creates, it gives, it is alive. Breathe.
Breathe. You are not alone. What thoughts? If you are under a
constructive cloud, then you will be given constructive thoughts.
The opposite for a destructive momentum. My goodness. Life is
beautiful. If thoughts are given, are actions given too? Yes
because thought comes before action. Then your acts are acts of the
momentum and the momentum is god and so the acts are acts of god.
My goodness. If you live with the momentum, will it protect you?
Make sure you never suffer? Have peace and no struggle? Well, it
depends on the momentum you create. Huh, you create it and then it
creates you. Life is beautiful. Take that atheists. How many in the
world right now, know of this? I have to write a book. God help me.
And the dreams too, the momentum gives you dreams.

He had fallen asleep after
deriving the possibility of the momentum being alive, from then, he
was dreaming.

“
Lysei
,”
The Voice
said in his dream.

“
I know it is
you, I fear saying your name”

“
It is I. The
force, The goodness, the Universe- Allah, God, The sum of the Greek
Gods. Refer to me as I Am.”

“
I
Am.”

“
Yes Lysei.
You have the answer
,” I
A
m said.

“
I Am, is it
true?”

“
The beauty of
life you have. None have before discovered it the same way as you.
And only a few have had the answer.”

“
Heaven.”

“
Heaven and
paradise. There is a distinction. You have the key to paradise. A
key to utopia. You hold the first brick of a building,
Lysei.”

“
I need your
help.”

“
Do not be
stupid. You would never have derived the answer without my help.
You have been under my cloud your whole life.”

Lysei paused and considered the
impact this would have on him from now on. He also thought of his
past, his ever present sense of security. Him the orphan, who had
never needed anything. He thought about everyone closest to him and
then he thought of his parents.