The Keeper's Vow (35 page)

“No you’re not,” Lucinda said sternly.

“Yes. I am.” Katie didn’t have to take any
of this anymore.

“Allison. Go inside. Get some water.”
Lucinda’s eyes never left Katie.

“I’m done, Lucy,” Katie said. She stood her
ground. She was sick of people bullying her.

As soon as Allison closed the door Lucinda
move in close to Katie. Katie dared her to say something. She
couldn’t wait to take her anger out on someone. Especially since
that someone just spent and hour lighting her up with plastic
bb’s.

“What are you going to do?” Lucinda said.
“Go cry in your room? So, I’m hard on you. Tough shit, Katie.”

Katie seethed. Words were piling up in her
throat.

“Allison is running circles around you. I
watched you and Tristan everyday and you’ve gotten better than her.
You’re faster than this crap you’re doing today. You’ve been
slacking off.”

Katie grinded her teeth. Lucinda didn’t know
the half of what she’d been through. When was the last time she’d
gotten thrown into the back of a van? “I’m done,” she said for the
final time.

“Then let’s call and omitter because
that’s
what happens when you want to be done. That’s what
happens when you slack off.”

Lucinda was a hypocrite. Katie had heard her
Christmas Eve begging Will not to send Brian away, to give him
another chance. She’d heard Will tell her she was going to get her
own son killed. “Is that what you said to Brian? Wait no. You
begged—”

Lucinda slapped her. Pain seared across her
face like no other, but Katie was used to pain. “You’re not
my
mother. You don’t get to—”

Lucinda slapped her again and left Katie
standing in the backyard holding her face.

Lucinda came back the next day, and everyday
for a week after that. They never talked about what happened. They
pretended it never happened. Her dad, who she knew saw it, didn’t
say anything and she suspected Allison had seen it because she
ignored the tension that surrounded Katie and Lucinda too well.

There was space between her and Lucinda now.
She shouldn’t have said what she said. Katie couldn’t look Lucinda
in the eyes now.

“Katie,” Lucinda called one day after
practice. Allison wasn’t there. Lucinda had Katie do target
practice with the air-soft gun and targets set up around the
yard.

They didn’t talk during practice anymore, so
when Katie said, “
yes
?” it barely came out.

“You’re doing better,” she said, taking down
the targets one at a time. Katie nodded even though Lucinda’s back
was to her.

Katie noticed it too. She was getting back
to her normal self. She was a match for Allison now.

To think, over six months ago, she couldn’t
even get an honest score in the Preliminaries. She could probably
make it to the top now. It felt like a long time ago, the
Preliminaries. She was so different now. Everything was
different.

“You still aren’t where you should be. You
should start drinking,” Lucinda said. She was staring directly at
her now.

“No.” Katie had made up her mind a long time
ago after Tristan force fed her. The thought still made her want to
vomit. Plus, she wasn’t a vampire, or a half-vampire, or whatever.
She was Katie Watts. A girl. A human girl.

“I don’t think you have much of a choice.
You’re getting better, but you’re still too slow.”

What was Lucinda saying? Wasn’t she the one
fighting for Tristan to get away from her when he was pouring it
down her throat?

“Allison doesn’t drink—and no one thinks she
needs to,” Katie couldn’t even say blood. What was the difference
between her and Allison. Genetically they were different that was
it. What if Katie didn’t have that option?

“Allison pushes herself everyday and makes
strides to reach her maximum potential. She knows her limits and
she works through them. You don’t. You can’t. You don’t even know
your full potential. You’re hitting a ceiling that isn’t supposed
to be there.” Lucinda waved her into the house.

They walked into the kitchen. Her dad was
sitting at the table reading the newspaper with his glasses on.
Lucinda pulled out a lunch box from the refrigerator. She sat it on
the table and opened it. Three packets of blood were stacked in a
row.

Her dad looked over his newspaper and went
red in the face. “Get that crap out of my house. You’re going too
far, Lucy.”

“Drew, you admitted it yourself. She’s
hitting a wall.”

When had they talked about her? Hadn’t they
barely become friends again?

Her dad gripped the paper and looked at her.
Katie pleaded for him to talk sense into Lucinda, but the more she
talked the more she saw his face change from rightful anger to
sympathy.

“Dad?—Dad?” she said.

“You know it’s inevitable, Drew. Tristan
said she moves her body like she’s drunk and he’s right. She’s off.
Even at her fastest there’s a sluggishness about her.”

When had Tristan talked about her with
Lucinda? She felt betrayed. Why had he been
allowed
to talk
about her?

“No,” Katie said. Trying to put her foot
down. As soon as she saw her dad’s face she knew it was pointless.
They were going to make her do it.

“Katie, it will make you better. You’re not
meant to be like you are. Your body isn’t meant to survive on food.
You’re starving it everyday,” Lucinda said.

Katie didn’t care. She was scared. The last
time—

The last time she drank it burned her
throat. Last time felt like someone holding her face first in
it.

“Come on, Katie Bug.” Her dad stood up and
wiped away her tear. He walked her over to the sink and pulled down
a glass. She wanted to sob like a baby and throw a tantrum. Maybe
he wouldn’t make her do it. He didn’t know what it was like.

He poured a packet into the glass. It filled
a tall glass with a little left over.

“She only has to drink one pack every two
weeks,” Lucinda said, holding her own arms like she was the one who
might fall apart.

Her dad picked up the blood and sniffed it.
“It’s not so bad. It’s probably better than my cooking,” he
laughed, but that didn’t comfort her. She took the glass when he
handed it to her.

She held her nose.

“Don’t sip it, Katie Bug. Just try to gulp
it down. That works best,” her dad said, rubbing her back.

She didn’t even get so much of a mouthful
down before she was throwing it up in the sink. Her dad held her
hair and Lucinda took the glass. Her stomach spasmed until she was
throwing up nothing.

The sink looked like a murder scene. Her dad
rinsed out the sink and gave her a glass of water. She washed out
her mouth. Nothing could rinse out the taste of blood. It didn’t
taste like it smelled. It was thick, pungent rot.

Lucinda gave her the glass again.

Katie steadied herself and swallowed down
her urge to gag. After a moment she tried again. She drank and
swallowed. Drank and swallowed. Drank and swallowed. Her body shook
as she concentrated. She hated throwing up. She could never breathe
and it made her panic. She cried, drank, and swallowed until it was
gone.

It never got easier. She sat the glass in
the sink and the sound echoed in her head. She turned around, too
fast, she nearly fell. The lights were getting brighter and she was
taking in too much air.

“How do you feel? Do you need to lay down?”
Lucinda asked.

It was the exact opposite. Every second that
past, she felt more and more like she needed to run. So much
energy, so much—

Silence. This house is just like the other.
Silent…

Katie stopped. That wasn’t her thought.

I hate this…

It was Tristan. She just knew it. Who else
could it be in her mind. And he didn’t know she was there…

“Katie?” her dad said. He and Lucinda were
watching her like she might sprout wings and fly out of the
window.

“I’m fine,” she said too loud. Everything
was too loud. And bright. “I Just need to go, sit or something,”
she said. The world was coming at her on full blast. But it felt
good. Her body felt so good. Was this what it was like for
Tristan?

—
I hate this…

There it was again. He came in and out like
a static radio.

“Why don’t you go lay down?” Lucinda said.
They were moving toward her like she might collapse at any
second.

“Yeah, I’ll do that.” She backed away from
them. She could feel the space around her. They were too close.

She went up to her room. She took off her
shoes and socks. As soon as her feet touched her fury rug she
flipped out. It was too much fur. It was too much fur at one time.
She jumped on the bed but that was almost no better.

She breathed. This must have been what
snorting cocaine felt like. She could hear Lucinda and her dad even
though they were downstairs still in the kitchen. She could see the
dust floating around in her room. She blinked. It was really a
feather that must have escaped her pillow when she jumped on
it.

She was tripping out. She spent hours in her
closet feeling her clothes, running from one side of the room to
the other. She’d jump over her bed effortlessly and land as quiet
as the feather that drifted to the floor.

She stopped when she felt him getting angry.
It was like a slap in the face, she could see Lucinda as clear as
day, sitting at the dinner table. It was just the two of them. He
was so angry.

“
Are you trying to say you want me to
drop out?” he said.

“
I don’t know what they’ll do. No one is
answering my calls.”

“
Then stop calling.”

“
And do what? Sit around and wait? I
won’t let them think they’re better than me.”

“
You can’t control what people think
about you,” he said.

“
No, Tristan. I’ve spent my entire life
building up my reputation. I can’t just let them discredit me
because I’m—"

“
Related to a halfbreed?” Just admit it.
You hate it.

“
You know that isn’t what I
mean.”

“
Do I?”

“
I would never say that!”
Lucinda
slapped her hand against the table.

“
I don’t care what you think. Don’t you
get it? You asked me to stay here. You want me here because you
want to prove to yourself, you’re not a terrible person. You wanted
to prove you’re not someone who would throw a kid out on the
streets.”

“
Tristan!”

“
If you weren’t so busy trying to prove
yourself a saint, you would have seen how pathetic your son
is.”

Tears streamed down Lucinda’s red face.
“You don’t think I know that?” she screamed. “You don’t think
I’m in my own personal hell because of all this?”

Lucinda used her napkin to wipe the tears
off her face. Her tears were coming from somewhere deep. It made
him angrier.

He was leaving, but Katie couldn’t see
where. He was moving too far maybe, or she wasn’t good enough at
listening. It was like static. A small whisper.

An idea struck her. She was going to follow
him. She’d have to sneak out. Her dad would never know she was gone
if she waited until
Law and Order
stared. He was always out
like a light before the middle of the show.

She took a shower and yelled that she was
going to bed. He never checked in on her. She’d be able to leave
and come back before he’d notice. She put on a dark pair of skinny
jeans and a tight black shirt. She was going to have to do some
climbing if she was going to get in and out. There were light
sensors on the ground, so she couldn’t go through the door; but she
could use the tree next to her window. If she took the longest
branch and swung a little she could land in the neighbors back
yard.

She grabbed her cell phone, turned out her
lights, and opened her window. Wind blew through her hair. She
should have been cold. It was a March night, they were always cold,
but she wasn’t.

Climbing and swinging from trees was much
easier than it should have been. Her body was strong and she held
on to the branch like she’d been doing it her whole life. Climbing
over the neighbors fence was an easy hop too.

She was free. She hadn’t realized what being
trapped in the house day in and out was doing to her. She was a
bird spreading its wings after being clipped and caged.

She took off running through the wind. It
was exhilarating. Her lungs felt full and light. Her legs took her
faster and faster. She was laughing before she realized she was out
of her neighborhood and spinning in circles.

As she breathed in the night air she felt
him. He was close. Her body turned like a compass and he was the
magnetic pulse. He was going toward Gray City. Katie stopped. What
was she doing? What would she do when she found him? They still
weren’t talking and she still hated him.

She called Allison.

“Kay? What do you mean you’re going to Gray
City? It’s a school night and you’re supposed to be in your house.
This is screaming bad idea.”

“Allison it’s either yes or no. Are you
going to come with me?”

It took Allison thirty-minutes to meet her
downtown. It was like a normal Thursday night in Boise, the college
students were all out getting ready to drink their weekend away. A
few guys stopped to shout cat calls at Katie. It made her
uncomfortable at first, but she liked the attention. She wished she
were wearing something more sexy. She hadn’t bothered to do her
hair, or put on makeup. She pulled it out of her high-pony just as
Allison appeared around the corner.

“What exactly are we doing?” Allison said.
She’d bothered with the make-up.

“Do you have your make-up bag?” Katie
pointed to Allison’s purse. It was smaller than her usual pick and
strapped around her body.