The Kindness of Strangers (39 page)

“I’m sorry,” Nate said. He wanted to reach out and touch Jordan’s back, to pat it, the way Mom used to get him to sleep, but he didn’t. He was sitting here, shirtless, with another boy. If Nate touched Jordan, would Jordan think Nate was trying something like in those pictures? That thought made Nate afraid to even speak. He couldn’t think of anything to say to end the conversation they’d had, and he didn’t want to just get up and walk out.

The kid didn’t move. He just stared in his freaky silent way, as if Nate wasn’t there.

“I’m sorry,” Nate said again. That was true. He was sorry the kid was here. Not because he didn’t want him around; actually, he felt something like love for this strange, spooky boy. No, he was sorry for all the twisted shit that had brought Jordan to this place.

Nate sat there looking around this room that used to be his own. He looked up in the corner at the spot where that bat had landed all those years ago.

He felt that cold paralysis again, just like when he’d seen the bat for real. Picturing Jordan having to be with Mrs. Kendrick was another wrong, furry, dark spot against that white wall.

Chapter Twenty
Sarah

S
arah rushed up to the Social Work lobby of The Children’s Medical Center. She was seventeen minutes late to pick up Nate and Jordan. The boys were not waiting for her in the lobby, and Sarah nearly panicked, but the receptionist told her that they were still inside Bryn’s office.

Sarah was grateful for a chance to sit down a moment. She felt sweaty and frazzled. She’d dropped the boys off and then left to deliver the cheesecakes and the shrimp-and-fennel pasta. An accident on 75 had made her late getting back to the hospital. Thank God, Bryn was running late, too. Even though this was going to wreck the rest of the day’s schedule, Sarah hoped it was a good thing that she was keeping the boys overtime. As long as Jordan was in that office, Sarah didn’t have to take him to see Courtney. She couldn’t squelch the feeling of dread, the feeling that this meeting was going to change everything

Sarah caught her breath, wondering what Jordan would even say to his mother today. What on earth could Courtney possibly say to him? Sarah hadn’t told anyone that she’d talked with Courtney. It had been stupid, even dangerous. What if Courtney mentioned it? Would everyone think Sarah was hiding something? Courtney had called
her,
after all. Why didn’t Sarah just say so? She hated this ripped-in-half sensation and hypervigilance. How long could she sustain this before she had a nervous breakdown?
Breathe
.

She dialed her home number on her cell phone.

“Hello?” Danny answered.

“Hey, sweetie. Listen, we’re running behind here. The guys aren’t out of Bryn’s office yet, so we’re going to pick you up on the way to the Rec Center. Get your stuff packed, and I’ll swing by to get you as soon as Nate and Jordan are done. Be ready, okay? I’ll honk.”

“But I don’t have to be at soccer for a whole hour!”

“I don’t have time to drive all the way to the Rec Center and then come all the way back to get you. You’d be late. So you’re stuck riding along with us.”

Danny groaned.

“Today’s a little crazy,” Sarah reminded him. “I need to get Jordan to the agency by two. Work with me.”

“Okay,” Danny said. “Oh, Detective Kramble called you.”

Her face flushed. “Yeah? Why?”

“To check on us.”

“Did he leave a message?”

“He just said to tell you he called.”

“Am I supposed to call him back?”

“I dunno.”

“Danny . . .” Sarah sighed. “Okay. Go get ready.”

She snapped the phone shut. Kramble. She couldn’t shake the sense of hypocrisy she felt this morning. Much of that lecture to Nate last night had been a lecture to herself. She didn’t know Bobby Kramble. She wasn’t even sure she
liked
Kramble. She couldn’t imagine the two of them having a conversation about anything but this case—how could she talk about herself, her life, without talking about Roy, who wasn’t exactly safe date material?—but, to her own surprise and dismay, she
could
imagine herself and Kramble in bed.

Bryn’s door opened, and the boys walked out. Bryn gave Sarah a wave.

“Hey, guys,” Sarah said. They nodded at her. Sarah regarded Jordan, hoping to see a sign. Anything—doubt, fear. But he still had that bright look in his eyes. “Everything go okay?”

“Fine,” Jordan said, the way he always responded.

“It was cool,” Nate offered, then shoved his hands in his pockets.

Sarah decided she didn’t need to bend herself out of shape to make conversation. Bryn and the receptionist said good-bye to them, and they rode the elevator in silence.

In the van Sarah turned on the radio, but Nate scowled at the music that burst forth. He fiddled with the switches, then shut it off as if disgusted with the choices.

Fine. They could drive along in silence. That was okay with her. She did worry, though, that Nate would somehow know what she’d been thinking about Kramble. Who was she to tell Nate that he needed to really
know
someone first, when right now she’d like to have just the sex
without
the dinner, the chatting, and all the work that went with it? God help her, what she wouldn’t give for a good, sweaty romp with Roy down by the washer and dryer. And later they could sneak upstairs and act as if nothing had happened, grinning at each other occasionally.

“Mom?”

She turned, startled, to Nate.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“Yeah. Why?”

“You looked . . . I dunno, sad.”

She shook her head and turned onto their street. “There’s been a change in plans. We’ve gotta pick Danny up on the way to the Rec Center.”

The Look crossed Nate’s face, and it struck Sarah that she hadn’t seen it in a while. “I’m gonna be late,” Nate said.

“I
know.
And I’m sorry. Today is complicated, okay?”

She slowed in front of the house and tapped the horn. She checked her watch. Damn it, they
were
going to be late to the Rec Center, and Danny would probably be late to soccer, and so went another day of playing relentless catch-up. Jordan would probably be late to meet Courtney. Would everyone think Sarah had done that on purpose? She honked again.

After a moment she pulled in to the driveway. She didn’t want to keep honking and annoy the neighbors. She picked up the cell phone and called her home number. The phone rang unanswered, and the machine picked up on the fourth ring. “Danny, we’re in the driveway. Get your butt out here!” she said.

When he still didn’t materialize, Sarah muttered, “For God’s sake, what is he
doing
?” and shut off the engine. She felt her neck and shoulders tighten. She’d need a massage just to get through the damn day at this rate. She slipped out of the van, shutting the door on Nate and Jordan’s sulky silence.

The front door was slightly ajar, the air-conditioning she’d finally turned on seeping out into the humidity. The first tremor of concern rippled through her. “Danny?” she called, opening the door. She nearly tripped over his gym bag, packed and ready, inside the front door.

She stopped. Danny stood in the doorway to the kitchen. His face was pale, his posture stiff, unnatural. “What’s wrong?” she asked.

The floor swayed beneath Sarah’s feet as Courtney Kendrick came into view behind him. Or some version of the Courtney she’d once believed she’d known. The woman who stood there, in jeans and a pink sweater, had dark circles ringing her eyes and skeletal cheeks. That photo from the calendar came into Sarah’s mind: Sarah and Courtney leaning their heads together, arms around each other. This was not that woman.

Sarah had imagined many reactions if she ever saw Courtney again. But this . . . this . . . contempt was not one that she’d pictured. Courtney nervously swept a finger behind one ear, tucking back that tousled hair. Sarah felt like she’d cornered some stray, feral creature.

Any little remaining scrap of Sarah’s doubt dried up.

“Sarah.” Tears spilled out of Courtney’s eyes. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

“Danny, come here,” Sarah said. She reached out her hand, and Danny walked like a zombie across the living room to her. She put an arm around his shoulder, pulled him close. He felt cold. Once she had Danny safely next to her, rage rose up in Sarah’s chest and throat.

“What are you doing here?” Sarah hardly recognized her own voice, splintered with disgust and hatred. Sarah’s whole body trembled, listening for a van door. Please, please let Courtney not see Jordan.

“I need your help,” Courtney whispered.

“You have to leave. You’re not supposed to be in Oakhaven.”

“I need to see Jordan.”

Over my dead body,
Sarah wanted to say. An urge to strike Courtney moved through her. How
dare
she? After all the lies, after all she’d done, how dare she come into Sarah’s home and ask for help? “You have some nerve,” Sarah said.

“Please,” Courtney said “I know he’s living with you. Just—”

“Talk to Children’s Services,” Sarah said. “Get out.
Now.
”

Courtney stared at Sarah as if sincerely hurt by her tone. Sarah thought of her cell phone in the van. Time to leave and call Kramble. “Come on, Danny.” She pulled Danny outside and slammed the door behind her. If it were possible to lock Courtney inside, she’d do it. Danny moved woodenly, awkwardly. “Hurry, hon,” she pleaded.

But they were too slow. Half the yard still stretched before them when Sarah heard the front door open. She moved in slow motion. It was every nightmare she’d ever had.

Jordan opened the side van door, asking tentatively, “Mom?”

“Shit!” she heard Nate say.

Sarah wanted to reach for Courtney’s arm, wanted to stop her, but she kept her mind on,
Get to the van, get to the phone, call the police.

Jordan stepped down from the van and stood, uncertain, on the lawn, as Courtney came to him. The smile on his face was in sharp contrast to his body language. He actually took one step back and flinched when Courtney wrapped her arms around him. She cupped Jordan’s face in her hands, kissed his hair and forehead, then hugged him to her, pressing his head into her chest. Jordan’s arms hung limp. His body reaction told Sarah all she needed to know.

Sarah was nearly at the van, but Nate almost knocked her down as he rushed from the van at the embracing pair. He yanked Jordan from Courtney’s arms and stood between them. “Get out of here!” he yelled at Courtney. Sarah opened the driver’s-side door and reached for her phone.

“Nate, I—” she heard Courtney say.

“Get out!”

“Please, you don’t—” Courtney grabbed his arm.

“Don’t touch me,” Nate said. “Don’t you
ever
put your fucking hands on me again.” Sarah stared in horror as Nate shoved Courtney hard and she fell, sprawling, on her back. Nate stepped toward Courtney, as if to kick her, but Jordan leaped on Nate’s back, hurling him to the ground as well. Jordan’s fury shocked Sarah; it stole her breath like a blow to her gut. Once Nate was down, Jordan slammed punch after punch into his head. Sarah felt each punch as if it landed on her own skull.

Sarah dropped the phone and ran toward them as Courtney pulled Jordan off Nate.

Sarah breathed again when Nate immediately scrambled to his feet, the back of his hand to his nose.

“Don’t hit her!” Jordan screamed at Nate. “She never hurt you!”

Courtney scooped Jordan against her, arms crossed over his torso, as if to keep him from attacking anyone else.

They all stood a moment, panting and staring at one another. A
ding-ding-ding
came from the van’s open driver’s-side door. Sarah glanced back at the van and saw Danny talking on her phone. Thank God.

“Get out of here,” Nate said to Courtney. It physically pained Sarah to see the blood that ran from his nose and mouth, spattering his white T-shirt in dark, thick drops. Nate spit a mouthful of blood into the grass. “You make me
sick.
”

Jordan tried to wrestle from his mother’s arms again, but Courtney held tight.

“She never hurt you!” Jordan yelled at Nate.

This was insane, out of control.
Get here, get here,
Sarah willed the cops.

Courtney clamped one hand to Jordan’s mouth, the other tightened across his torso. The hand on his mouth dug in, the nails embedding in flesh.

Courtney locked eyes with Sarah, and Sarah hated the glittery blankness there. Like shiny cellophane on an empty box. Had she
ever
known this woman?
You thought I was a fool.
She felt naked, betrayed, and sick with her anger.

Jordan tried to say something, and Courtney dug her claws in harder. Sarah saw blood welling around Courtney’s nails. “Courtney, stop it! You’re hurting him.” Sarah couldn’t undo the pain already inflicted upon this child, but she’d be damned if she stood here and let him be hurt again in her own front yard. Sarah reached for Jordan, but Courtney backed away, dragging Jordan with her.