The Kiss That Launched 1,000 Gifs (21 page)

Everyone lost when you moped on public. Segregating yourself away from the happy people while licking your wounds was a public service—or at least a way to maintain one’s dignity while bouncing back. But it was a move Ash’s friends weren’t having on their watch. Dragging Ash to a house party was their way of trying to keep his spirits up. But Ash would have been better off staring at a wall back home.

Women…

Allegedly they were the more sensitive of the sexes. Yeah, sure. Ash would like to see the data that supported that conclusion. In his experience, when it came to affairs of the heart, women were emotional assassins. Their hot was hotter, their cold was infinitely colder, and their aim was laser sharp.

And at the moment, Ash had a harpoon made of ice skewered through his heart.

It was his own fault. He could own that. He’d been optimistic about how things would go after kissing Grace. He’d allowed himself to believe that a Thursday night kiss would turn into a Friday night date, and that Friday night date would turn into fate.

Not so.

Grace hadn’t even let him get half way to asking her out on a date. So now, instead of sitting across the table of a fine restaurant with her, he was sitting on a friend’s front porch watching the sprinklers water the lawn across the street.

As it turned out, his hopes for the night—not to mention the rest of his life—had been wildly optimistic.

“Do I have to have my own personal storm cloud over my head to sit here, or is anyone allowed?”

Ash looked up and saw Jess standing over him with a bottle in each hand. She held one out his direction, and he took it.

“It’s your porch,” he said, scooting over to make room on the porch swing. On the other side of the window Ash could hear Abe, Brad, and Brad’s date playing
Rock Band
in the living room. Brad’s date—Ash really should learn her name—was doing her best Lady Gaga.

Jess eased in next to him, not saying anything for several moments. “So I’m guessing that things didn’t play out how you were hoping last night?”

Ash took a sip. “Nope.”

“Well, then that chick is stupid,” Jess said.

Ash held his bottle out her way. “I’ll drink to that.”

She clinked their bottles together, and they both took a pull.

“For what it’s worth, it looked like a stellar kiss,” Jess said. “And Grace was totally into it. I don’t care what she said afterwards. Body language like that doesn’t lie.”

“If you say so,” Ash said, staring straight ahead.

“Oh, I
know
so,” Jess said. “But still, if she wants to pretend a kiss like that means nothing to her, then that’s on her.”

Ash sighed, spinning the bottle between his fingers. “I’ve got to let go of what I feel for her. I know that. I just don’t know how.” He sent Jess a glance. “We have five more shows before we call it quits, and I don’t want to end on a low note.”

“So don’t,” Jess said with a shrug. “You’ve had a crush on her for a long time, Ash. It hasn’t gotten in the way of your work before. Why would it now?”

“Because now I know,” he said, taking a swallow before looking at Jess. “That kiss was awesome. Before I just hoped we would have chemistry, but now I know we do… just like I know Grace has every intention of walking away from it. Whatever we have, she doesn’t want it.”

“That sucks,” Jess said before reaching over to give his hand a squeeze.

Ash gave her hand a friendly squeeze back. “It physically hurts to be near her now. That’s the difference.”

For a moment the two of them sat side-by-side, watching sprinklers do their thing.

“Do you want advice?” Jess asked after a while.

Ash shrugged. “Never hurts.”

“Play the same game she’s playing.”

“Which is?”

“For this last week, put the issues first, your listeners second, and Grace at a polite arm’s distance.”

“Huh,” Ash said, considering that. “You don’t think I do that now?”

“Not at all,” Jess chuckled. “You always keep the focus on Grace first while delivering what you say in a way that will spark with your audience. As a result, you rarely share your real thoughts on most issues. You’re always angling for a reaction from Grace or your listeners.”

Ash blinked a couple times as he considered that. “Whoa. You’re kind of right, aren’t you?”

“I’m totally right,” Jess agreed. “And I’m not saying you’ve done anything wrong. I’m just saying that I think the reason Grace was able to go back to business as usual today is because she didn’t have to do anything different than she’s always done. You, on the other hand, were doing what you usually do and thinking about what Grace and your listeners were thinking—as you do—and it threw you off your game.”

Huh. Interesting. “And remind me what Grace does instead?”

“Issue comes first,” Jess said, ticking the points off on her fingers. “Audience comes second. Polite, professional distance with you comes third.”

“So you’re saying I should stop trying to impress her.”

“Definitely,” Jess said, swirling the remaining liquid in her bottle. “You have nothing to prove to Grace, Ash. You invited her in, and she opted to stay out, so let her be outside. Stop mentioning her. Stop using ‘we’ language. Stop flirting. Stop giving her long bouts of eye contact across that table. She ices you out with kindness, so make it a game. How nice can your ice be? Nicer than hers?”

“Of course it can,” he said. “There isn’t a day of the week when I can’t pull off being nice better than she can.”

Jess arched a brow his way. “Even today? You were pretty cold today, man.”

“You were listening?”

She grinned. “I think every woman who saw that kiss was listening to hear how you two would play it out.”

“And?”

Jess took a drink as she debated her answer. “Honestly, I give you points for frankness, but Grace definitely beat you out in the area of professionalism.”

Ash knew Jess was right, but he didn’t say anything.

“You were icy today,” she added. “It made you look pouty, which is total low-note material.” Jess gave him a playful nudge with her shoulder. “Remember, Ash, ice doesn’t have to be cold. You’ve dated enough to know that. A good icing-out can appear warm—even hot. The trick of it is putting Grace’s thoughts and needs last, just like she’s asking you to. Say anything you want during your last five shows. Say all the things you’ve wanted to say and treat her like a dude. Respect her, but just pretend that it’s Brad or Abe sitting across from you.”

Ash felt the first twitch of his frown turning upside-down. “Jess, as always, that’s kind of brilliant.”

She tapped her finger to her head. “When it comes to head games, I’m no slouch.”

“Heaven help Abe,” Ash laughed and Jess smiled.

“Whatever. He’s crazy lucky to have me.”

“Agreed,” Ash said, draping his arm around Jess to give her a side hug. She leaned in and rested her head on his shoulder.

“You should take a picture of this moment and post it,” Jess said after a moment. “It’ll piss Grace off.”

Ash sent her a look. “A picture of me with my friend’s girlfriend?”

Jess’s grin turned mischievous. “Grace doesn’t know that. And Abe totally won’t care so long as you stop moping out here and get in there and play drums on Panic Attack. You’re the only person he knows who can get through it.”

“Fine,” Ash said, pulling out his phone and opening the camera.

He took a couple of shots before letting Jess pick the one she liked the most. Ash typed in:
This weekend just took a turn for the better
and held it out for Jess’s inspection. “This work?”

She nodded, grinning as she stood. “That works. Now let’s get back inside. I can hear the drums calling you from here.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Ash said, and followed her into the house.

Monday

How could you look at someone without looking at them? Grace had been trying to figure out how to pull that particular trick off all day. After an undignified number of hours stalking #Fossy on social media—which happened to be a mix of the words foxy and bossy… oh, and guess who got to be “bossy”?—Grace wasn’t sure she could look Ash in the eye without blushing.

Oh, Tumblr. Dangerous, dangerous Tumblr.

There had been hundreds, if not thousands of entries for her to peruse over the weekend. Grace’s mind had its favorites in the moments it liked to replay. The current favorite was from Thursday night… that beat right before the onstage kiss when she’d asked Ash Is that what you’ll be doing? and Ash had replied, No before leaning in and kissing her.

The way Ash had looked at her as he uttered that single syllable… the way his mouth had curved up as his eyes had dropped to look at her lips… and the way he had leaned in with equal parts of eagerness and finesse.

Grace felt a few kicks her chest as her heart relived the rush she’d felt as their lips first connected. Her mouth seemed to have memorized the feel of Ash’s lips over hers and the small strip of skin that had been exposed from her midriff sparked to life where his hand had touched her waist.

Spending the weekend watching all the fan vids people had been making for the best part of the year had done a number on her state of mind. She hadn’t seen Ash all weekend, yet she’d spent the better part of the weekend on a marathon date with him and their greatest hits.

And. It. Had. Been. Awesome.

Seriously, best date ever! And her heart, mind, and body were reacting accordingly. The mere mention of Ash’s name had her breath catching and her eyes searching. The sight or scent of him had her body purring. And yet it was the thoughts that were the most dangerous. More than once that morning Grace had caught herself in a vacuum of time and space as she stared at something blank and replayed GIFs in her mind.

How in the world was she supposed to do a show with him that afternoon? And such a big show at that. What was she supposed to say? Hi, everyone. Super sad news: the show’s canceled. But if you happen to notice that I can’t stop smiling about it, just know it’s because I’m mentally macking on my coworker.

She needed a different approach and she needed it quickly.

Per usual, Grace showed up in the booth about fifteen minutes to show time and found herself alone in the studio with Frank on the other side of the glass. Feeling both relief and impatience at Ash’s absence, Grace started in on their pre-show checklist.

Sixty seconds before the play-in music started, Ash walked through the door and gave her a little head bob in greeting. “You ready for this?”

Don’t look at his lips, Grace reminded herself as she put a smile on her face. It felt plastic, but she hoped it looked normal.

“It’s going to be a fun one,” she said. And while we’re talking, who was that pretty brunette in that picture you posted on Friday?

No. Grace wasn’t going to ask him about that. She’d promised herself.

Ash plopped down in his chair and pulled out his stress squeezer. “Your turn to open, right?”

Grace nodded, feeling a little silly when the only word that came out of her mouth was, “Yeah.”

But what else was she supposed to say? What could she say?

“Last commercial coming up,” Frank said over the speaker.

Grace sent him a thumbs up and busied herself with the equipment. There was nothing to do, really, but she could pretend if it meant not looking at Ash for the next thirty seconds.

He did look good, though. The same, really… but same-good. Then there was that scent that always followed him around. It wasn’t strong, but it always made its way to her. She could smell it that very moment, the aroma tickling her mind with more thoughts of Thursday.

When the play-in music started, Grace realized that she was staring at her computer monitor with her fingers hovering over the keys. She’d been planning on fake typing, but had apparently only made it half way. Mortified, she glanced at Ash to see if he had noticed.

He wasn’t even looking at her, which somehow made her feel even more ridiculous. She was putting on a show of indifference for a man that wasn’t even looking. Real dignified. She was the one who had to bring up that the show was canceled and all she could think to do was inhale deeply and resist the urge to lick her lips.

She should have accepted Ash’s offer to meet earlier and discuss how they would play today’s show. She’d declined the invite he’d sent to her via Outlook. His desk was across the room from hers. Ash could take the few steps it took to get to her if he really wanted to talk.