The Kissing Stars (11 page)

His breathing sounded harsh, the only sound Tess could hear above the rush of blood pounding through her veins. This was dangerous, this sea of emotion. A dozen years divided them. Twelve-year-old wounds healed over with a scar tissue of secrets.

She was afraid to look at him. She couldn’t stop herself from looking.

Oh, God
.

The sum of every sun in the universe blazed in his eyes. Fire and heat. Desire.

“Tess.”

Her name sounded wrenched from his mouth. Torn from a memory.

He lifted his hand, brushed his thumb across her lips. He muttered a curse, harsh and low. “God help me. God help us both.”

Then Gabe leaned over, cupped her cheek in his palm, and pressed his lips against hers.

CHAPTER 7

GABE FELL INTO THE kiss like a man stumbling off a cliff. At the first brush of her lips, a small part of him sensed danger, but in that particular moment he simply didn’t give a damn.

She tasted like home.

Tess’s lips were soft and warm and wet Her mouth sweet and…familiar. Oh, so familiar. The years had dimmed the memory, but he’d never forgotten. Yearning seeped into his chest filling it to near bursting. In Tess’s kiss he tasted the wonder of first love, the time before the shadows, his youthful hopes and dreams and desires.

Her mouth opened in welcome and he deepened the kiss. His tongue gently played with hers, conveying thoughts and feelings he could not put into words. Tess moaned softly as her hands snaked up around his neck to pull him closer. Her response both rocked him and soothed him. He’d long thought he’d never know this delight again.

He inhaled her soap-fresh scent and recalled the pleasure of seducing Tess in her bath, of lying beside her on a padded quilt and letting the silky strands of her hair glide through his fingers, of pinning her soft, lush body beneath him and thrusting home.

His fingers wove into her hair, his thumbs stroking gently across her temples while his mouth feasted on hers, Gabe hovered somewhere between the past and the present. He held her, tasted her, and burned hot and bright.

Like her stars.

Finally, as they approached the point where the choice must be made to take this farther or pull back, Tess wrenched from his arms. She rolled across the bed and went up on her knees. “Why? Why are we doing this? What is it you want from me, Gabe?”

“Other than the obvious?” he replied, his voice emerging rough and raspy. “Damned if I know.”

He sighed and shut his eyes, then threw his head back against the pillow. “I toted a boxcar full of questions out here to West Texas, but now I can’t work up a good curious about the answers. Why is that, do you think?”

Tess sat back on her heels. She nervously rubbed her hands across the tops of her thighs. Gabe wanted to mimic the motion with his tongue.

“Seeing each other again…the revelations…all this has been a shock for both of us,” she replied slowly. “We’ve gone along for more than a decade believing one version of events, and now all of a sudden we learn our truths were nothing more than lies. I think we’re both a little confused.”

“A
little
confused. Darlin’, I haven’t been this addled since that rack of bacon of yours rang my bell at the fair.”

“Talk nice about Rosie, Gabe,” Tess chastised.

“Hey,” he protested. “She started it.”

He opened his eyes to find a smile playing about his wife’s lips. He grinned in response, and the smiles served to sever the threads of sexual tension stretching between them. The atmosphere grew comfortable, friendly. Gabe relaxed for the first time since the trip up Lookout Peak to check out the spooklights.

Then Tess had to go and ruin it. “Gabe, I’ve been thinking about the divorce.”

Sweet land of liberty
. After
that
kiss? She might as well have slapped his face. A hollow pang of emotion yawned in the vicinity of his heart. His voice came out harsh. “Is that what you want Tess? A divorce?”

“Is it what
you
want?”

The childish words,
I asked you first
, collected on his tongue, but he swallowed them and shrugged

“Gabe, I…”

He saw something in her expression. He couldn’t put a name to it, but it was enough to loosen his tongue. “I didn’t want one twelve years ago, and I can’t say that’s necessarily changed How ‘bout you?”

She licked her lips. “I don’t think I do, either.”

“But we’re not sure?” he asked halfway hoping she’d tell him how she felt. Other than bedding her, he didn’t know what the hell he wanted.

Her voice was small and she didn’t look at him as she spoke. “How can we be sure, Gabe? We’re all but strangers. I know I’ve changed in the past twelve years, and I don’t doubt you have, too. Maybe what we need is a little time to get to know each other again. We should talk more. Like we did tonight.”

“We can do that,” he responded. His gaze drifted to the milky soft spot of skin at the base of her neck and he added, “We can do more of the other, too. This separate bed business is a waste.”

She shot him a droll look. “I don’t think we’re ready for that.”

“Oh, I’m ready, Tess. I’m definitely ready. And I got the impression that you were ready, too.”

Pink stained her cheeks. She looked so damned pretty it was all he could do not to scoop her up and lay her down right then and there.

“I don’t believe…it’s not enough…there has to be…” Her sentence trailed off.

Despite the years apart, Gabe knew this woman well. He heard the one word she didn’t say like a clarion call.

Love
. She was saying lust wasn’t enough. There had to be
love
.

Well,
hell
.

He wasn’t truly surprised. Tess never had been one to settle for less. The woman wanted courting, just like he’d been thinking earlier that day, only she’d taken the idea beyond the marriage bed. Something he hadn’t bothered to do.

It was a basic difference between male and female, he silently observed. He thought courting. She thought commitment.

Gabe rolled the thought around in his mind. He’d had a gun to his back when he’d committed himself the first time, but he hadn’t really minded. He’d taken her virginity and marrying her had been the right thing to do.

Of course, back then he’d loved her with his whole, eighteen-year-old heart. He couldn’t sit here now and say he still felt the same way. The past twelve years had changed him; he wasn’t that green boy anymore. And life had made its marks on Tess, too, during that time. He knew this woman like the back of his hand, but at the same time, he didn’t know her at all.

Still, he couldn’t honestly say he
didn’t
love her, either. The fact that he’d never allowed another woman into his heart told him Tess likely had a hold on at least a portion of it to this day.

Tess broke the silence languishing between them by asking, “You weren’t planning on leaving Aurora Springs anytime soon, were you? We’re not in any rush, are we?”

Gabe took note of the lingering pressure in his loins and thought,
speak for yourself
.

“A person can’t put aside a dozen years of hurt and misunderstandings in a week, Gabe,” she continued. “It wouldn’t be honest for us to…well…to make love now. You and I were always honest with one another. And we always made love when we were together. I don’t want to cheapen that by simply scratching an itch now.”

Damn
. Because he wanted her to know exactly where he stood on this issue, he said, “It would be more than scratching an itch with you, Tess. I could bed down with you right now in clear conscience.”

“But it wouldn’t be lovemaking. Not like it once was.”

“Does it have to be that way? Maybe this way would be better.”

Sad, somber eyes met his. “Nothing could be better, Gabe. We loved.”

Gabe sighed. He had no argument with that. “All right, Tess. As much as it pains me, if you’re not certain, then it’s probably not the right time. Not now. We can take this slow, and work our way toward…whatever it is we’re working toward.” After a moment’s pause, he added, “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“I know,” she agreed, backing off the bed. “I don’t want to hurt you, either. If I even could, that is.”

Oh, she could
. Gabe suppressed another sigh as her falling hem hid her shapely leg from his gaze.
She definitely could
.

Tess smoothed her skirt and asked, “So, how would you suggest we go about getting to know one another again?”

“Like you said before. We need to talk.” Gabe pinned her with a stare. “Avoiding each other doesn’t get us very far.”

“I know,” she said with a sigh. “I guess I evaded you because I was scared. I was afraid you’d bring up the divorce. I wasn’t ready to talk about it, Gabe.”

“But you were ready tonight?”

She met his gaze briefly, then her eyes skidded away and she shrugged.

“Anything else have you worried?”

She licked her lips, then offered him a hesitant smile. “Actually, if it’s all the same to you, I’d rather not talk about any of the hard stuff—about our fathers and the past and all of that. Not right away.”

Gabe ran his palm down the rough stubble of his jaw. Funny, they were both thinking along the same lines, both of them running from that desert full of prickly pear. Why was that? Were they both cowards?

Or did they each want a chance with the other?

He cleared his throat. “All right, Tess. Why don’t we declare the past off limits for the time being. My questions can wait, and I’ll give you warning before I ask them. All right?”

“Excellent.”

The smile she beamed his way got his blood heating all over again. He figured it was time to make a not-so-hasty retreat. Gabe swung his legs off the bed and stood. “Now, since we’re laying our cards on the table, there is one more thing I’d like to discuss. I need something to do around here, and I’ve been thinking about this vandalism business. I thought I might ride into town and nose around a bit. I am an investigator, you know. Pretty good one, if I say so myself.”

“That’s all I need,” she muttered softly.

“What’s that?”

Tess scooped her journals off the bed and returned them to her desk. “I know that tone of voice. We don’t need you stirring up trouble, Gabe. Captain Robards will get to the bottom of it. He’s a friend.”

“He was after something other than the truth when he rode in here. That’s as plain as the turban on Twinkle’s head.”

She wrinkled her nose and folded her arms. “Besides, do you really need something to do? Haven’t we given you a big enough list of chores to keep you busy here in Aurora Springs?”

“Yes, you have. And that’s why I’m looking for something else to do.” His gaze fastened on her hands and the graceful bend of her long, slender fingers. He imagined them stroking his chest. Then, because he needed a distraction, he added, “I don’t like chores. I’m a hero, remember? Not a handyman. Heroes don’t do chores.”

“Maybe not.” She flashed him a smile. “But husbands do.”

The words formed, then flew off his tongue before he had the good sense to stop them. “Husbands are good for indoor jobs, too, you know. Indoors, in bed.”

Her gaze drifted toward the piece of furniture under discussion, and she winced. “You are a dog with a bone, aren’t you. Now go on, Gabe. It’s late. I need to sleep.”

His grin was wry and his step was light as he retired to his room. Even tired as he was, he didn’t flop right down on the mattress. He was too worked up to sleep. He moved to his window and gazed outside. Despite the lack of a moon, he could pick out a shape here and there. Must be a bunch of stars in the sky.

Briefly, he considered lifting his gaze to take a look. Nah, knowing his luck, in addition to not seeing Tess’s spooklights, maybe he wouldn’t see regular stars anymore. He wasn’t up to testing that theory tonight.

Gabe sighed heavily. Spooklights. Mystery Lights. The Kissing Stars.

Tess. His wife. In bed, alone, a few steps away.

What a night
.

For a time, he stood looking out the window, not thinking of much at all. Then his mind drifted back to the word play at the end of their conversation, and he reached into his back pocket and removed a folded sheet of paper, Twinkle’s list of chores.

Clean chimney. Caulk windows. Replace fenceposts
. He grinned. If he had a pencil handy, he’d write in bedroom work.

Turning away from the window, he sat on his bed and pulled off his boots. He shrugged from his shirt, and tossed it onto a chair. Then, barefoot and bare chested, he walked silently back to her bedroom. Tess stood at her desk, her index finger resting on a page of an opened book. But she wasn’t reading. She was staring blindly off into space.

“Darlin’?” he said softly, summoning her attention. “One more thing, just so you know. This indoor work? It won’t be a chore.”

HIS HARD, naked body rose above her, gleaming in the silvered light of a gibbous moon. Yearning consumed her. She craved his touch, deep inside her. Filling her.

His lips spoke words of love and desire as he came to her. At that first, probing touch, she arched up. Offering. Begging.

Swat
. “Rise and shine, woman.”

The dream disintegrated and Tess groaned into her pillow, “Ow!” She’d hardly felt Gabe’s slap to her rump—a quilt, blanket, sheet, and her flannel nightgown provided plenty of protective padding. The sting came from the shock of waking from the fantasy-Gabe to the reality-Gabe. It made her grumpy.

“No, go away, I don’t want to get up,” she complained, even though she’d made him promise to wake her at dawn before heading up Lookout Peak for the starwatch the night before. “I’m too tired.”

“Doesn’t matter.”

“But the Kissing Stars didn’t blink out until two a.m. last night. That’s nine straight nights in a row they’ve shined past midnight. I’m sleep deprived and exhausted.”

In a voice completely devoid of sympathy he told her, “Would you like some cheese with your whine this morning, my dear?” She growled at him and he laughed. “It’s a four hour trip into town. You can sleep in the wagon.”

“I don’t want to sleep in the wagon. I want to sleep in my bed.”

“Suit yourself. We’re leaving in twenty minutes whether you’re loaded up or not.”

She rolled onto her side and lifted her head enough to glare at him. “And who made you trail boss?”

He slashed her a grin. “You did when you asked me to drive y’all into town to pick up your monthly supplies.”

“I didn’t intend for us to leave this early. Don’t forget that the rest of us keep late hours, Gabe.”

“I can’t forget. Y’all wake me up every night when you come down the mountain.”

She wrinkled her nose. “Well, you wake me at the break of dawn each day when you go out to work.”