The Knitting Diaries (13 page)

“I
was thinking for my sister,” the tall, burly high school kid said. “She’s only six, you know, and she kind of likes dogs. Is it too hard?”

Robyn studied the knitting pattern Cody held, one he’d downloaded for free online. It was for a knitted toy poodle puppet that was completely adorable, but a little complicated. Maybe they should offer classes for kids, she thought absently. There were plenty of fun projects, like puppets and other toys.

“You could do it,” she said at last, “but you’ll need help.”

Cody, all of seventeen and six feet of testosterone said, “Yeah? You think I could do it?”

Had he missed the “with help” part? “It won’t be easy.”

“I’m not afraid of hard work. It’s for her birthday.”

Robyn smiled at him. “Then I guess you’re going to do this, aren’t you?”

She explained which kind of yarn would be best and left him to figure out if he wanted to find a real dog-
colored yarn or go more fantastical with a pink or purple puppet.

It was late morning, on Saturday. Eleanor had been home from the hospital for five days and was doing great. The nurses took care of everything, allowing Robyn to concentrate on the business.

Cody wasn’t the only one trying new things, she thought as she chatted with customers and rang up several purchases. She’d started on a new sweater that tested her rusty abilities. The more she knitted, the more she remembered and the more she missed the craft that had always been a part of her life.

“What about this?” Cody asked. “The purple is for the dog and the pink is for the dress.”

The yarn was durable and had a sparkle to it. “Your sister is going to love it. The best gifts are those that come from the heart.”

Cody blushed, then ducked his head. “Okay. I’ll get started, then.”

“I’ll be over in a few minutes to see how you’re doing.”

She turned to answer a customer’s question, only to feel a slight tingling on the back of her neck. Without looking up, she knew that T.J. had just walked into the store. He came in the back as much as he came in the front and she never knew when he was going to show up.

But she was always
aware
of him, as if she had built-in T.J. radar. If he was in the store, she knew exactly where he was. If he was gone, she missed him. Not good, she thought, refusing to let herself be vulnerable.

After helping a customer find the right yarn for a first pair of socks and gushing over a finished tote bag, she went back to the craft table to check on Cody.

He’d already made good progress on the puppet, completing six rows.

“Nice,” she said, bending over his shoulder and studying the careful, even stitches. “You’re really getting this.”

Cody looked up at her. “Go to prom with me.”

Robyn straightened, sure she hadn’t heard him correctly.

Cody stumbled to his feet, towering over her, looking humiliated but sincere. “I know I’m young, but I did get into college and I won’t, you know, expect anything just because it’s prom.”

She didn’t know if she should be flattered or run shrieking into the afternoon. She felt the tingling again and knew that T.J. was close by, probably listening. Because life was fair.

“Cody,” she began.

“There’s only ten years between us,” he blurted. “It’s not a cougar thing.”

From somewhere behind her came a noise that sounded suspiciously like a snort of laughter. She vowed to take care of T.J. later.

“Cody,” she repeated. “I appreciate the invitation, but I think you’d have a better time with a girl from your school.”

“I don’t like any of the girls at my school.”

“I’ll bet a few of them like you.” The kid was cute enough and kind. Did high school girls care about kindness in a boy? Or did appreciation of that attribute come with age and experience?

“You’re going to say no, aren’t you?”

She nodded slowly. “Ten years is a lot of difference right now. So thank you for asking me, but I can’t go.”

He sighed heavily and collapsed back into his chair. “I figured you’d say something like that. You still gonna help me with the puppet?”

“Of course.”

She patted him on the shoulder, then walked back to the cash register. As she passed T.J., she glared at him.

“Don’t say anything,” she told him.

“I wouldn’t. It was sweet.”

“He’s a good kid.”

“I agree.” One corner of his mouth twitched. “I didn’t realize we had a cougar lurking.”

She socked him in the arm and kept walking.

An hour later, Adeline rushed into the store, holding keys and papers in her hand.

“I have the instructions for Mr. Whiskers,” she said, as she handed the sheets to Robyn. “He’s very particular about his food.”

Robyn scanned the instructions. They were two pages long, including detailed instructions about where exactly to leave his plate and how to empty the litter box. She’d always heard that cats were independent and easy. Apparently she’d been wrong.

“Be sure to maintain eye contact,” Adeline added. “That’s important. You don’t want to upset him.”

“What will happen if I do?” Robyn asked.

Adeline pressed her lips together. “Perhaps you’re not the right person for this.”

T.J. joined them. “I’ll help,” he said. “Mr. Whiskers likes me.” He shrugged. “As much as he’d like anyone who wasn’t you. Robyn and I can take shifts.”

Robyn wanted to say she could handle Mr. Whiskers on her own, but as he was Adeline’s treasured pet, it might be better to have a little help.

“That would be a relief,” the older woman breathed.

Robyn nodded. “Sure. We’ll make sure Mr. Whiskers is happy while you’re gone.”

Adeline looked doubtful. “I wouldn’t use the word
happy
to describe him, but you can try.”

Before Robyn could ask more details about this unhappy cat who required eye contact, T.J. was turning Adeline to face the front window.

“I have a surprise for you,” he said, pointing to the long, white limo that pulled up in front of the store. “Your ride to the airport.”

Adeline clutched her hands to her chest. “For me?”

T.J. kissed her cheek. “For you.”

“I’ve never been in a limo before.”

“You’ll arrive in style.”

The usually stern, slightly difficult woman melted, hugging T.J., then Robyn, waving and rushing out to meet her ride.

For all his attempts to withdraw from the world after the loss of his family, T.J. hadn’t been able to stop being who he was—a kind man who truly cared about others. A man who needed emotional connections.

She could relate to that. It was one of the reasons she’d never felt at home in New York. Her family had always been here. She’d had someone to miss. Someone to come back to. What did T.J. have?

“That was nice,” she told him. “You’ve given her a great start to her vacation.”

“She deserves it.”

She returned her attention to the list of instructions, which included fresh water twice a day, but only from the filtered container on the counter. Never from the tap.

“Want to check this out when Marion arrives?” she asked.

T.J. grinned. “You’re going to love Mr. Whiskers.”

Robyn was less sure.

They were busy all afternoon and Robyn didn’t have a chance to break away until closing. She called her grandmother to let her know she would be a few minutes late, then walked with T.J. the three blocks to Adeline’s small house.

The yard was neat, with mature trees and climbing roses. The paint was fresh, the porch swept clean.

“Women of my grandmother’s generation are so tidy,” she murmured as they stepped through the low gate. “I always feel inadequate. I’m more of a piler than someone who puts things away.”

T.J. laughed. “I’m a guy. What do I know about tidy?”

He used the key to open the front door and they walked into the small house.

The living room was filled with large pieces of furniture. Little porcelain figurines covered every open surface. But that wasn’t what caught Robyn’s attention. Instead she found herself mesmerized by the sight of the biggest cat she’d ever seen outside of a zoo.

Mr. Whiskers was gray, with dark paws and ears. Maybe a little Siamese in his background, she thought absently, as she was captured by a contemptuous green stare.

He was huge—at least twenty-five pounds of pure muscle. Judging by his expression, he was not amused by the interruption to his afternoon nap, or her presence. She
had the feeling that he was figuring out if he could take her or not, and if he could, was she worth the effort.

“I don’t think I’m a cat person,” she whispered.

T.J. laughed. “Don’t worry about it. Mr. Whiskers and I go way back.”

To her amazement, he crossed to the cat and confidently rubbed it on the head.

Robyn expected there to be a loud hiss, a swipe of claws and blood everywhere. Instead Mr. Whiskers began to purr. The loud rumble practically made the windows vibrate.

“I’ll keep him occupied,” T.J. told her. “You go prepare the food.”

The sacrifice was more like it, she thought as she hurried into the kitchen and began the detailed process of Mr. Whiskers’s dinner.

Robyn arrived home an hour later. Mr. Whiskers had been fed and his litter box cleaned. When T.J. offered to take over pet-sitting duties, she gladly agreed. Honestly, if she were alone with the cat, she would fear for her life.

She walked into her grandmother’s house and called out a greeting.

“Have you met Adeline’s cat?” she asked as she went into the kitchen, where her grandmother sat at the table. “I think he’s part mountain lion.”

But instead of laughing, her grandmother looked troubled. She sat with the cordless phone on the table, with a pad of paper next to it.

“What?” Robyn asked. “Do you feel all right? Is something wrong?”

“I’m fine,” her grandmother said slowly. “It’s not my knee. It’s…” She motioned for Robyn to sit. “What
happened when you called the insurance company about the private nurse?”

“I didn’t. T.J. did. Did he get it wrong?” Would there be a large bill? Robyn didn’t know much about her grandmother’s finances, but while the store was relatively successful, it wasn’t a huge moneymaker.

“Not wrong,” Eleanor said. “My insurance doesn’t provide a private nurse at all. Someone else is paying for that.”

“Did they tell you who?”

“Yes. It’s T.J.”

“H
ey, beautiful.” T.J. handed Eleanor the pink roses he’d picked up, kissed her on the cheek, then settled on the sofa across from her. He eyed her knee. “How are you feeling?”

“Very well, thank you.” She leaned forward and poured them each a cup of tea.

While her asking him to stop by for a visit wasn’t anything new, he had a feeling her request was for more than company.

“What’s up?” he asked, taking the delicate cup from her.

Her blue eyes, the same color as Robyn’s, narrowed slightly. “How long have you owned Long Day Records?” she asked.

He held in a groan. “How’d you find out?”

“I looked you up on the computer.”

“Does Robyn know?”

“No. I didn’t tell her. There’s a reason you’re keeping your business a secret and until I know why, I’ll respect your privacy.” Her usually warm gaze turned
frosty. “However, I don’t appreciate you playing us all for fools.”

“It wasn’t that,” he said, putting down his cup. He hesitated before speaking, knowing she deserved the truth. “When I lost my wife and my son, I didn’t care about the company. I walked away from it, in spirit, if not in reality. None of that mattered to me.”

“But it does now?”

“I’ve started going to the office again,” he admitted cautiously, not sure why she’d thought to investigate him. He glanced at her knee again and knew. “You found out about the nurses.”

“That you’re paying for them? Yes.”

“I did that because I care about you. You took care of me. All of you.”

“That was different.”

“No, it wasn’t.”

She pressed her lips together. “Adeline’s cruise. The one she supposedly won? That was you?”

He shrugged.

“And the amazing deal Marion got on the wedding. You’re supplementing the cost, aren’t you?”

He picked up the tea. “I wanted to say thank-you.”

“Sometimes the words are enough.”

“I seem to have lost my way with words.” He stared at the woman who had pulled him back from the brink of emotional death. “How angry are you?”

“I’m not angry. I’m hurt that you would try to deceive me.”

“It wasn’t like that. I never wanted to hurt you. I wanted to help. Are you going to tell them?”

He meant Eleanor’s friends, as well as Robyn. He’d never wanted them to know who he’d been—mostly
because he wasn’t that man anymore. His interest in his business had changed. Being wealthy wasn’t important. But finding a talented artist—bringing him or her to the public—that still excited him.

“I won’t tell them,” Eleanor said. “Robyn knows you paid for the nurse, so I can’t change that, but I said you’d simply paid the difference for me. She believed me.”

“You don’t have to lie for me. I’ll tell her.”

“No, don’t. It’s better this way. If they knew, things would change.”

He didn’t want to lose the friendships he had at Only Ewe. “Thank you. For understanding and for saving me.”

“Silly boy, you saved yourself.”

He knew she thought she was telling the truth. That no matter what, he would have come through. But he knew differently. He knew how close to the edge he’d gone and how the three of them had miraculously pulled him to safety. He knew without them, he wouldn’t be here today. And he would always be grateful.

Robyn flipped on the lights in the store and set down her purse. She turned to make sure Eleanor was moving easily.

“Are you sure it’s not too soon?” she asked, watching her grandmother walk into the store.

“I’m sure. I need to get out of the house. I’ve learned that I’m not a fan of daytime television.”

Eleanor sat in the chair by the register and looked around. Robyn followed her gaze, hoping the store looked as it should. She’d kept up on stock, had taught the classes, taken in the bank deposits and generally managed as best
she could. Although she’d worked hard, she’d loved every second of it. This store was like a second home to her.

“You’ve done well,” her grandmother told her with a smile. “I’m very proud of you.”

“Thank you. I’ve had fun. The customers are great. Oh, someone rented the store next door. Tina from First Texas Bank said that she heard it’s going to be a kitchen store, which is great. We should have the same demographics for our customers.”

“That is good news. Better a girl business than a boy one for our neighbor.”

“Are you glad to be back?” Robyn asked.

“I am, but my weeks away gave me time to think. What are you going to do, Robyn? You said you were thinking of staying here, but have you made any decisions?”

“Yes. I’m done with New York. This is where I belong.” Robyn outlined her thoughts on getting a job in a restaurant and figuring out what she needed to study to get on with her life. As she spoke, she was aware that she kept one eye on the door, as if anticipating someone’s arrival.

Not “someone,” she thought with a sigh. T.J. Since her grandmother’s surgery, they’d been spending time together nearly every day. She liked him, liked being around him. When he wasn’t there, she missed him.

“I wondered if you had any interest in the store,” her grandmother said.

“Working for you?”

“No. I was wondering if you would like to buy me out.”

Robyn stared at her. Buy her out? As in buy the store? “But what would you do?”

“Adeline and I have been talking. She loved her cruise
and wants to do more traveling. We’re both alone and with Marion getting married, we’ll be more of a twosome than a trio. I would still want to work here, but I think I’d prefer to be an employee than an owner.”

Buy the store. Robyn turned in a slow circle, looking at the familiar shelves, the colorful yarn, the racks of patterns. She did have some ideas, she realized. Different classes to try, advertising experiments.

“I’d love to,” she admitted, feeling the wanting swelling inside of her. “But I don’t know how it’s possible. I don’t have any money or assets.”

“The business is the asset. I would finance the sale myself.” Her grandmother smiled. “I think after all this time I can trust you to pay me back.”

Robyn laughed with pure happiness. Taking on the business would be a big responsibility, but it felt right. She ran to her grandmother and hugged her tight.

“I’d love to talk about this,” she said eagerly. “We could keep the business in the family and you’d still be here. And I swear I’ll pay back every penny.”

“I know you will. Plus, you’d get to boss me around,” Eleanor teased.

Robyn laughed again. “That would be fun.”

“Good. Then we’ll talk details tonight.” She pointed to the clock. “It’s time to open.”

The morning went quickly. Marion and Adeline arrived and were told the happy news. Robyn found herself helping customers with a renewed energy and excitement, but she couldn’t help watching the front door, waiting for T.J. to arrive.

She wanted to tell him. Maybe it was crazy or she was putting too much on their friendship, but somehow the moment wouldn’t be complete until he knew.

T.J. arrived at Only Ewe a little before noon. He hadn’t planned on coming by but Eleanor had called and asked him to.

Ever since he’d learned that she knew who he was, he hadn’t been as comfortable around the store. When he was a beat-up, out of work songwriter, he was at ease in his skin. But as T. J. Passman, President and CEO of Long Day Records, he was just a guy who’d lost everything that mattered.

As he pulled open the front door to the store, he found himself looking forward to seeing Robyn. Avoiding the store had meant avoiding her and he’d missed spending time with her. She was different than he’d first imagined. Smart, funny, determined, caring.

He saw her holding out yarn to a girl who was maybe eight or nine. Robyn crouched down, to get on eye level with her tiny customer and said something about yarn. The girl fingered the soft yarn, then laughed. Her mother nodded approvingly and the kid took the yarn.

Robyn stood and turned. When she saw him, her eyes widened and she hurried over.

“You came by,” she said, grabbing his hand and pulling him back outside. “I was hoping you would. I have something to tell you.”

She was flushed with excitement, practically bouncing in place. Obviously what she had to share was important. But all he could think was that he wanted to kiss her. Right now—his mouth on hers, up against the wall of the building. He wanted to feel the warmth of her body seeping into his. He wanted to tangle his fingers in her blond hair and then run his hands down the length of her
body. He wanted her hot and hungry and taking as good as she got.

The image was as powerful as it was vivid. His body actually ached from the need building inside of him.

It had been so long since he’d felt any kind of sexual attraction, he didn’t know what to do with the feeling. He hadn’t just slowly stirred to life—he’d come back roaring and ready.

“T.J.?” Robyn stared at him, her eyebrows drawn together. “Are you all right?”

“Fine,” he said automatically, ripping his gaze from her mouth. “What’s going on?”

She hesitated for a second, as if wanting to ask more, and then she grinned.

“My grandmother talked to me about the store. She says she’s ready to retire from the business. Not completely. She still wants to work here, but as an employee, not the owner. She says I can buy her out, if I want. That this can be mine!”

She clutched her hands together in front of her chest, as if trying to contain too much excitement.

“Is that what you want?” he asked. “You’d said something about going back to college.”

“Sure, because I’d have to. Singing and dancing isn’t going to pay the bills. Besides, that part of my life is done. I enjoyed it but I’m not like my mom. I don’t want to open a studio. I was thinking business because then I would be trained to do something, but to have this?”

She turned to face the front of the store, then grabbed his hands in hers. “I love everything about Only Ewe. The space itself, the customers, the classes. It’s not just a place to buy, it’s a community. I’d forgotten that. I belong
here. I’ve always belonged. I guess it just took me a while to figure that out.”

Her happiness was tangible. She glowed from the inside and nearly danced in place. On a practical level, the arrangement made sense, but it was more than that, he thought. Eleanor asking Robyn if she was interested in buying the business was an act of trust and acceptance.

“I’m going to sign up for a couple of business classes,” she said, still holding his hands. “Basic accounting, a marketing class. I can take them at Austin Community College. They hold classes at Georgetown High School. Did you know that? How come I never knew that? I’m not going to make a lot of changes but I do have a few ideas.” She bounced on her toes. “You’re not saying anything.”

“I’m happy for you.”

She stared at him. “Are you really? Are you sure?”

“Very. You’re going to be great.”

“No doubts?”

“Not one.”

Then, because he couldn’t help himself, he pulled his right hand free and cupped her cheek. He bent down and pressed his mouth to hers.

She might have been surprised, but she responded immediately, wrapping her arms around his neck and melting against him. Her surrender was nearly as erotic as the feel of her body pressing close to his.

When she parted her lips, he swept inside to claim her. Her tongue met his in a dance that made him both hard and weak. Her sweetness fed his hunger, making him burn. Had they been anywhere else, he would have been tempted to take more, but it was the middle of the day, on a street in town, in front of her store. Reluctantly, he drew back.

Her eyes were slightly glazed, her mouth parted. Uneven breathing filling the silence and he wasn’t sure if it came from him or her.

She blinked slowly. “Wow. I wasn’t expecting that.”

“Me, either.”

Her mouth curved into a slow, sexy smile. “Impressive.”

He grinned. “You, too.”

She glanced over her shoulder at the store, then sighed. “Rain check?”

Wanting still coursed through him—controlled but very much alive. Maybe there would be guilt later, but for now, for the first time in years, he was happy to be alive.

“Sure,” he said. “A rain check.”

“Can I hold you to that?”

“It’s a promise.”

She raised herself on tiptoes and lightly brushed her mouth against his. The wanting returned, and with it the need to pull her close. But he forced himself to stay still and she stepped back.

“You’re unexpected,” she murmured.

“So are you.”

“Is that good or bad?”

He thought about the sadness in his past. The loss. How he’d assumed he would never feel anything again. Did feeling something now betray what he’d had before? He didn’t have an answer, but wasn’t it enough that he’d gotten to the place where he wanted to ask the question?

Or maybe life was about moving on. He’d expected to spend the rest of his days mourning what’d he’d lost. Somewhere along the way, he’d started to heal.

He smiled at her. “It’s good.”