The Ladies' Room (28 page)

"Don't be sorry, Crystal. Drew is still your father. You can
talk about him anytime you want," Billy Lee said.

She grinned. "Thank you. This really is an open house,
isn't it?"

"It is," I said.

"Billy Lee and I decided from day one that we weren't going to waste time on 'nice.'"

"But you are," she argued. "I've never been around anyone
as nice to each other as you two"

Billy Lee looked down at his papers.

I didn't know what to say.

"Can we keep her, please?" Crystal begged.

The cat purred as she stroked its fur, and both of them
looked at me with the same pleading eyes.

"Billy Lee, you allergic to cats?" I asked.

I'd gotten quite fond of finding him in the kitchen every
morning, coffee ready, bacon or sausage frying. Not even a
momma cat with two kittens would stand in the way of me
and my breakfast.

"I'm not allergic to anything. Got a cat myself. Used to hang
around my shop, looking for handouts, and finally decided it
was safe to wander inside. With the field behind us, there're
always mice looking for warmth in the winter. Since old Lion
started coming around ten years ago, I haven't seen a single
one in the house or the shop."

"For real?" I asked.

"Absolutely. Lion would just love for a mouse to sneak in so
he'd have something to pester other than me"

Would I never stop learning all the complexities of this
man? He had a cat, its name was Lion, and he'd never mentioned it. But then, we were always in Gert's-my, I corrected
myself-house, so how was Ito know?

But that settled it. I'd adopt a dozen cats if they'd keep the
mice-and, I hoped, slugs-from the house.

"We can keep her if she'll promise she'll never let a mouse
into the house," I said.

"She'll be a good cat and scare them all away, won't you?"
Crystal baby-talked to the cat.

"I've got some extra litter and an old pan over at the house.
I'll go get it for you," Billy Lee said.

"Oh, I almost forgot" I reached inside my jacket pocket and brought out one fluffy yellow kitten and a black-and-white
one. "This is a three-for-one day."

Crystal squealed.

I handed them to her. "You take care of them while I find a
laundry basket and an old blanket."

In half an hour we were back to business. Billy Lee and
Crystal had their heads together studying irrigation systems in
modern greenhouses, and I was finding more remnants of
"waste not, want not"

The only difference was that now a plastic laundry basket
with a blanket and three felines in it was sitting right beside
Crystal's chair, close enough that she could pet the mother,
which she'd already named Mary, because it was the Christmas season, and there had been no room in the inn for her to
deliver her babies. She wanted to name one of the kittens
Jesus, but I wasn't about to start dodging lightning bolts. They
could be Fluffy and Boots or whatever else cats were supposed to be named.

The morning got away from me quickly. I looked up at the
clock to find it was straight-up noon at the same time Crystal
declared she was hungry. Billy Lee organized their notes and
put them into a folder. I pushed a second garbage bag to a
corner.

"There's clam chowder in the refrigerator and still half a
loaf of homemade bread," I said.

Billy Lee heated soup.

I sliced bread.

Crystal set the table and opened ajar of peaches for dessert.

"I reckon we could have the greenhouse built by the time
the baby is born. You could have a grand opening," Billy Lee
said as we ate.

"I don't want a big to-do. I want to do some advertising and
start to work. If I'm good and my prices are reasonable, word
will get around," she said.

Was this really my daughter?

"It'll be August when you open. Too late for bedding and
garden plants," Billy Lee warned.

She had both kittens in her lap. "But just right for pansies
and mums and bulbs and every other fall planting need. The
cats can keep the mice out of the greenhouse too."

"Get ready for lots of hard work," I said.

"I don't see it as work, Momma. I can't wait to make things
grow."

I fought back a bushelful of pure old jealousy when the two of
them went back to discussing parking and office space; the latter
would need room for a crib and a playpen. What was wrong
with me? Crystal was my beloved daughter. Billy Lee was my
dearest friend. But somehow I didn't want to play nice and share
either one.

After lunch, Billy Lee went to his shop to work on the
kitchen cabinets he had nearly completed. We'd spent our
time at the table with brochures and yellow legal pads several
weeks before. That's what had set me to cleaning out the old
cabinets that day. Later that evening, after supper, I'd follow
him out to the shop and do some staining. Crystal wasn't allowed in the shop because the fumes weren't good for a pregnant woman. For that little while I wouldn't have to share him,
and I looked forward to it.

I'd finished cleaning out the lower cabinets by midafternoon.
Before I tackled the upper ones, I took a break in the living
room with a cup of mint-flavored green tea. I was sitting in a
rocker sorting out my feelings when Crystal brought in the
basket of cats and sat down on the floor beside me.

She used a forefinger to pet one of the tiny baby kittens.
"Momma, could I talk to you about something?"

I'd made up my mind. She wasn't naming one of those kittens Jesus. It was pure sacrilege to name a cat after our Lord
and Savior.

"What's on your mind?"

"It's Daddy. I called him on Christmas, and I don't want
there to be secrets in this house. I want it to stay open and
honest, and that's the way I want to raise my child."

That seemed pretty big compared to naming a kitten.

"Honey, if your father is still upset with you, that doesn't
mean he doesn't love you and won't love the baby when it's born. You can call him and visit him anytime you want. You
don't have to tell me"

"That's where you're wrong, Momma. I do want to tell you.
Everything. I've lived in a house with dishonesty. Daddy had
his affairs, and I think I knew about them from the time I was
nine. If he hadn't gotten careless with Charity, we wouldn't be
sitting here with these three cats right now. Jonah was a sorry
rascal, but he taught me a lot. When he hit me and left, I sat in
the middle of the kitchen floor all wadded up in a ball and
cried my eyes out. You know why? Because I'd turned my
back on you, and down deep I knew that Daddy wasn't going
to bail me out of the mess. I knew what he would say before I
ever went there"

"I'm sorry," I said.

"You were so trusting that you never knew about his affairs,
did you? When I was a teenager I thought you were stupid one
minute and hypocritical the next. Stupid if you didn't see what
he was doing. Hypocritical if you did know"

"Marriage is complicated, and your father's unfaithfulness
wasn't anything I could prove. I guess a part of me always
knew that something wasn't quite right. Looking back, I can
see that the signs were there. But I never looked for proof. I
guess maybe I really believed that ignorance was bliss. Besides, in the past I always tried to avoid conflict, Crystal."

"Amen to marriage being complicated. I stayed long after I
should have left Jonah, but I didn't want to admit I'd made a
mistake. But you weren't hypocritical, you were just dumb."

"Thanks, I guess," I mumbled.

"That sounded better in my head. I love you, and I'm not
going to let you down anymore. I'm sorry I didn't tell you
about Daddy. I still love him, and I'll call him occasionally,
but I'm not going to hold my breath for him to love me back
unconditionally. He's always had his way-except when you
left him and when I refused to get rid of my baby. He's even
more spoiled than me!"

"Is that possible?" I laughed.

"Barely," she said. "But my eyes sure got opened the day I
realized how low I'd sunk"

I laid a hand on her shoulder. "I'm glad you weren't too
stubborn to come home."

"Home," she echoed. "It's crazy, isn't it, Momma? I used to
hate it when you made me visit Aunt Gert. This house gave
me the creeps. And it smelled funny." She laughed.

I raised an eyebrow. "It smelled funny?"

"Yeah, like a musty old cellar or soured milk."

"And it doesn't anymore?"

"No, now it smells clean and like fresh paint and varnish.
Sometimes it's like Gert is here, but . . " She couldn't find the
words to finish.

I nodded. "I know. I think she'd be pleased with what we're
doing."

"Do you realize you always say `we'? That you always include Billy Lee in the planning and everything?" she asked.

"I guess I do. He was there that day I found out about Charity, and he's stood beside me through it all."

"Oh?"

"I didn't find out about Charity because your dad `slipped
up.' I was at Gert's funeral and overheard a conversation in
the ladies' room about how stupid I was to let Drew get away
with his infidelities. Later Billy Lee and I were the only ones
in the sanctuary, and he consoled me"

Crystal frowned. "You told him what you'd just found out?"

I patted her hand. "Not about your dad. Billy Lee had no
idea what I'd overheard, and I sure didn't blurt it all out. He
was truly mourning Aunt Gert, and somehow that helped. I
can't explain it. We were both miserable. For different reasons, but still grieving. He'd lost his friend and surrogate grandmother. I was about to bury a marriage. After that day he became
my best friend."

"Wow! Is that the way it really was? I thought he'd been in
love with you since you were kids or something."

Crimson filled my cheeks, and I stuttered, "Wh ... Wh ...
What made you think that?"

"It's the way he looks at you. Like you've got a halo hiding
under all that curly hair. Like you couldn't do or say a wrong
thing if you tried. If some fellow ever looks at me like that, I'm going to have him in front of a preacher so fast, he'll wonder how he got there"

"You're thinking about trying marriage again in the future?" I tried to change the subject.

"Yes, someday, when I find a younger version of Billy Lee.
But we weren't talking about me; we were discussing you and
Billy Lee"

"Then the discussion is finished. I'm forty, overweight, and
getting wrinkles. Billy Lee isn't interested in being anything
but a friend and good neighbor."

"We'll have to agree to disagree, then"

Smart girl. She knew when to hold 'em and when to fold
em. Right now I had a mother who seldom had good days, an
ex-husband who wanted to abort my firstborn grandchild, a
pregnant daughter, and three new cats. I did not have time to
deal with crazy notions about Billy Lee Tucker.

I woke up New Year's Eve morning with a chip the size of a
hundred-year-old pecan tree sitting on my shoulder. I didn't
even know where the thing had come from or why. I tried to
shake it off when I looked out the window into the beautiful
morning. Bright sunshine poured into the bedroom, but my
mood was as black as sin. My eyebrows lowered so fiercely
that I was sure I'd given birth to a dozen forehead wrinkles. I
forced myself to relax. Something had to have triggered the
ugly mood. We'd had a lovely Christmas, and Crystal and I
had cleared the air. We'd laughed over the Christmas Slug and
talked about her father and her future. So what was wrong
with me?

I hoped I'd shake it off by the time I got downstairs.

I didn't.

The kitchen was empty, but I could see Billy Lee and Crystal outside through the window. They were out beside his
workshop with a steel tape measure and stakes, marking off
where her new greenhouse would rise up like that mythical
bird from ashes. Shouldn't she at least have to work at a job
she hated for a couple of years before she got to dive right into
her heart's desire? But, no, only I had to do that kind of thing.
I was always the good girl. Poor Trudy. Bless her heart.

I dressed in a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt and grabbed the
car keys. Billy Lee and Crystal waved when they heard the
engine, but I pretended I didn't even see them. I drove straight
down Broadway to Main Street and made a right turn toward
the nursing home.

Momma was sitting in her recliner in her room. A rerun of
The Golden Girls was on television, and she didn't take her
eyes from it when I stomped into the room. I threw myself
down into the other chair at the end of her bed, and she finally
looked up.

"Who are you?"

"Momma, it's me, Trudy."

"Get out of here before I call the police. I'm not afraid to
dial 91 L"

"Okay, I'll go" When I left, she was giggling at something
Blanche had said. Why, oh, why couldn't she be lucid today?

I couldn't take the anger home, but there was really nowhere else to go. I drove slowly all the way out to the Y where
the highway split, one part going to Madill, the other to Ravia
and Ardmore. I stopped the car at the Western Inn's restaurant
and thought about going in for a cup of coffee, but I was afraid
I might commit homicide if Drew happened to be in there. So
I drove to the park across the Pennington Creek bridge to
where Billy Lee and I had gone to picnic that day in the summer. It was so cold, my breath came out in smoky puffs when
I got out of the car.