The Lair (34 page)

This is what Sebastian is giving me, which no one else ever has.

Oh, Lily and my mother tried, but my safety always trumped my voice.

“I want . . . I want to make a difference.” I want the chance that Lily took from me when she begged Sebastian to turn me. It’s not that I didn’t want to be a vampire—though who would choose this?—it’s that I wanted my choice, my actions to matter. Lily took that from me, but Sebastian is giving it back. “I want to fight. I want to help people.”

Sebastian tips his head to the side, as if mulling over my words. “You could help people without fighting. Sabrina protects many subjects from the Ticks. She provides for them. She—”

“She feeds from them and calls them kine,” I sneer.

“You didn’t see her guards arguing, did you?”

“Because she no doubt has a powerful
abductura
who convinces them to stay with her.”

Sebastian sweeps a hand toward the windows and the world beyond Sabrina’s kingdom. “Did you not see her defenses? Do you think the people here would want to leave? The world outside is gone. Where would they go?”

“She feeds from them.”

“And they gladly let her, because she protects their families.”

“She lays them out as appetizers before her guests. What would she have done if I had eaten that man? I could have killed him.”

“If you had dined in her territory, you would have been her vassal, like it or not. Those are the ancient laws of hospitality.”

I reel back from this news. As indignant as I had been on behalf of that nameless stranger, I am repulsed on my own behalf. And betrayed. Sebastian’s endless mind games have laid me bare. “So you set me up?”

“I merely tested your resolve. I did warn you to be polite.”

“In some cultures, it’s considered rude to refuse food!”

“And in many ancient cultures, sharing food forms a binding contract.” He waves a dismissive hand. “I’ll not quarrel with you over what might have been. If you didn’t have the strength to resist eating the man, you would have been of no use to me. But—”

“Of no use to you? What of me and my choices?”

“Strength earns you choices. This has always been true. It’s as simple as that. You want the right to determine your own destiny, you fight for it.” He smiles. “And you maintain your self-control.”

I’m still pissed, but I don’t argue. Maybe because I know he’s right. Maybe because it doesn’t matter. I was strong enough and that’s earned me the chance to make a difference. If I can convince him to let me.

“If I don’t want to stay with her, can I leave?” He arches an eyebrow in question, so I continue. “You were exchanging me for sanctuary.”

“Was I?”

“Yes! You said I was a hostess gift.”

“Ah, poor, Melly. You jump to conclusions so quickly.”

“Because you aren’t being straightforward!”

“Have I ever been?” Then his expression softens and he trails a soothing hand up my arm. “I didn’t bring you to her in exchange for sanctuary. I sought sanctuary so that you would have an option of becoming her vassal. If you want to leave with me, you may.”

I’m confused not just about these complicated rules that govern vampire behavior, but also by Sebastian’s distracting touch. “But what about the ancient laws of hospitality? Don’t you owe her something?”

“And you just naturally assume that you are the only asset I have?” He chucks my chin playfully. “Have a little faith, my dear. I have many resources. I will strike a bargain with Sabrina, if it is what you choose.”

“I do not want to be her vassal.”

“Are you certain? You can’t change your mind.”

“When you leave here, you’re going to continue to fight against Roberto?” I ask.

“Of course.”

“Then I—”

“Do not make this choice lightly, but consider what you’re giving up. You could do what Sabrina has done: establish a territory here in Arizona. She would expect you to cultivate your own kine.”

I shudder at the word. I cannot bring myself to think of humans as my food.

Sebastian sees my reaction and grabs my chin. There is nothing gentle in his touch. “No. Do not flinch from this. They are your food. You were made to consume human blood. We are the check that balances the human population. I will not always be here to remind you of this. For now, you feed on Ticks, but what will you do if the Ticks are ever wiped out? That is the point of Carter’s rebellion, is it not? To destroy the Ticks? What if he succeeds? What will you eat then? And do not entertain any fantasies about dining on deer and dogs. If the Ticks are gone, you will eat humans. Accept that.”

Hysteria bubbles up inside of me. I cannot accept that. I will not. There must be another way.

I shake my head, but he keeps talking.

“If you really want to help the rebellion, then you should do this. Establish a territory here. All of those people at Base Camp, make them your kine. You want to fight against Roberto, then fight that way.”

“Why are you so desperate to get rid of me?”

He lets go of me and turns away now. I still can’t read his moods. Is he annoyed with me or merely tired? Is the strain of being near Sabrina wearing on him, or is it the strain of being my mentor?

When he turns back to me, I think it must be both.

“I will do anything to bring down Roberto. If you stay with me, the path ahead will be difficult. I don’t want to be rid of you, but I would not force this on you.”

“Why?” I ask. “Why is destroying him so important? Why do you hate him so much?”

Sebastian arches an eyebrow. “Kitten, in two thousand years, when everyone you’ve ever loved has died, when you’ve been alone so long you cannot remember how to be with any living creature, when you’ve watched the world crumble at the whim of one man, then, perhaps, you’ll hate me as much as I hate him.”

As always, Sebastian hasn’t really given me an answer. No real specifics anyway, but I understand him now. I don’t even have to think of my reply. “If I get to choose, then I choose to stay with you. I want to fight Roberto, too.”

But even as I say it, I am questioning motives—not his, but my own. Have I picked this because of my strength or my weakness? Do I want to bring down Roberto because he is a monster? Or is it because it’s easier to destroy another monster than to admit I have become one myself?

CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE

Carter

In a perfect world, I would have found Lily hunkered down for the night, somewhere safe and secure. Like an army compound surrounded by armed soldiers. And watched over by Iron Man and Thor.

But the last time I’d seen armed soldiers (via news footage, but still), they’d been running away from Ticks. And that guy who played Iron Man was worth like a gazillion dollars. I was pretty sure all the people rich enough to afford it had bailed on the United States and were off on some tropical island somewhere. Hell, it’s what I would have done if I’d had my own jet.

But this was Lily. She never played it safe. So instead of finding her locked in the freezer section like she promised me, I found her standing over the body of a dying Tick, contemplating how to cut off his head.

She turned when she heard me. Her face was pale and drawn. Her hands were shaking so badly the flashlight she held cast a trembling circle on the floor.

She dropped the stake from her other hand and launched herself into my arms. “God, it took you long enough to get here!”

I held her for a long moment. I wanted to kiss her so badly I was nearly shaking, but instead I pulled away enough to look down at her. “I thought we’d talked about you not risking your life. Especially not when there are Ticks out there.”

She looked at the dead Tick and gave a little shrug, looking diffident for a moment. Then she shrugged it off. “I couldn’t do it. I’m not even going to apologize. I wasn’t a hundred percent sure he couldn’t reach the baby. I had to protect her. Besides, I knew you were on your way and I wasn’t about to let you walk in with him wandering around.”

“Lily, we’ve been over this. You can’t—”

“I know I’m vulnerable, but a Tick can kill you just as easily as it can me.”

Even knowing she was right, I didn’t want to hear it. I blew out a breath but before I could talk, she continued.

“Besides, I had a choice. I could have waited for him to find me, or I could stand my ground. You’re the one who taught me to always stand your ground.”

She was right. I was the one who told her that. And I hated to have my own words thrown back at me, so I changed the subject.

“Leave me here to take care of this guy. Get the baby and get out to the car. We’ve got plenty of gas, we’re going to drive through the night.”

She nodded tearfully, and pulled away from me to head for the freezer at the back of the store. I could hear the baby’s plaintive cries even from here.

I was almost out the door when she called out, “You should check the back of the Cayenne. I think I saw an ax back there. You know, for . . .”

She let the words trail off with a curl of distaste to her lips. She had paused and turned back to face me.

Her distaste was mingled with amusement, like she was laughing at herself for not being tougher. I smiled, too, because that was so like her. And because just yesterday, I thought I might never see that smile again. Seeing it now made something in my chest ache. Maybe this was enough. Just this moment. Regardless of whether I could keep her safe forever. Maybe it was enough to keep her safe for now. For each day we had together.

Before the thought could even crystallize in my mind, shit went bad. I saw it in her expression before I heard the scraping of the Tick’s movements. I saw the flash of fear in her eyes. The mute terror as she fumbled for words that she couldn’t get out fast enough.

I whirled to see the Tick stumbling to his feet. He clutched a bloody arrow in either hand. Arrows he’d ripped from his own chest. The wounds gaped, pumping blood out onto the floor.

Lily screamed, the sound piercing the air even as I pulled the shotgun from the scabbard slung across my back. I fired at the guy, one round of buckshot and then another. It hardly seemed to faze him. He shambled forward a step and then another. My shotgun was nothing fancy. Its greatest virtue was simplicity, not speed, and it took me precious seconds to reload. If the Tick hadn’t been wounded, I’d be dead already. But the holes in his chest were pumping a lot of blood. Too bad he wouldn’t bleed out and just die peacefully. Instead, his extraordinary wounds just made him that much hungrier.

I needed a stake. Something thick and strong. Something he couldn’t pull out. Too bad I was fresh out.

“Carter!” Lily yelled.

I turned toward her and saw a stake—a whittled-down broomstick—in her hand. She tossed it underhanded toward me but she must have been nervous because the toss fell short by several feet. The Tick was on me by then. I grabbed the barrel of the shotgun in both hands and slammed the butt into his face. The heat of the metal seared my palms. I rammed it at him again, hearing a sickening crunch that didn’t even phase him. He automatically dropped the broken arrows and grabbed the shotgun, too, trying to pull it out of his way. He literally lifted me off my feet and flung me aside like a ragdoll. I was out of weapons and ideas.

Then, suddenly, the Tick froze. The shotgun clattered to the floor as he looked down. I followed his gaze and saw the pointy end of a stake sticking out of his chest.

He flailed mutely for a moment, then reached for the stake Lily had thrust through his heart from behind. He howled with rage, but his hands were too slippery from the blood to gain purchase on the shaft. Then he stumbled and whirled around. He fell to his knees and reared up one more time. At first I thought he was trying to get back up. Then I saw the arrow in his hand again. I was too far away to do anything about it. In one quick and deadly movement, he stabbed the bloodied arrow through Lily’s shoe.

CHAPTER FORTY

Lily

Lily didn’t even see it happen, just felt the sharp and sudden pain flare through her foot. When she looked down, it took several long heartbeats to process what she was seeing at all. What was that in her shoe? How had it gotten there? What the hell?

By the time she put the pieces together and figured out it was an arrow, Carter had already picked her up and was running through the store. Away from the Tick, but also away from Josie.

She bucked in Carter’s arms, twisting and yelling for him to stop, but his crushing grasp was too tight. “The baby!” she cried. “You can’t leave the baby!”

He ignored her. A moment later, he burst out of the store and into the night. The Cayenne and a smaller Mazda were parked right out front. He deposited her on the passenger seat of the Mazda.

The trunk of the Mazda was open. And beside the car stood Stoner Joe. Who she’d thought was dead. The shock of seeing him warred for attention in her already scrambled brain. She dismissed it. She’d process that later. After.

Joe, who had been siphoning gas from the Cayenne into the Mazda while moving supplies from one vehicle to the other, stopped what he was doing.

Unnaturally pale he asked, “Where’s the baby? What happened?”

Carter was already rummaging for the ax she’d told him about. He seemed not to even hear Joe’s questions.

The arrow . . . the Tick . . . But Lily couldn’t think of that yet. They were still in danger, and Josie wasn’t out yet. The longer they all stood here talking, the more likely it was that another Tick would show up.

So she pushed aside her shock and answered. “There was a Tick. We’ve killed it. I think. He’s going to make sure.” By the time she finished the sentence, Carter had found the ax and disappeared back into the building. “You should wait a minute then go in after Josie. She’s upset, but fine. The freezer in the back. There’s food there, too. In a backpack. Don’t leave that. We’ll need it later. And there’s a sippy cup with some milk in it. Don’t forget that. And—”

Her words trailed off as her head suddenly spun. She’d forgotten to breathe there for a minute. “Just go,” she ordered. She just needed a moment. To be alone. To think. To plan.