The Last Adventure of Constance Verity (29 page)

“You mean your old life,” said Tia.

Connie didn't respond.

“Don't tell me you've changed your mind already,” asked Tia.

Connie pulled the pillow over her face and yelled, then tossed it across the room. “I don't know. I didn't give it much of a chance. I was worried I might get bored, but it was nice. But I keep wondering if it'll keep being nice or if I'll eventually
get bored. I'm just thinking it might be better to keep my options open.”

“You want an ordinary life except when you don't want it.”

“Is that so bad?”

“Aren't you supposed to be able to have both?” asked Tia. “Isn't that part of the spell?”

“Never really worked out that way.”

“Because of the spell or because of you?”

Connie didn't deny it. She'd usually blamed her spell, but more and more, that felt like an easy excuse. She had trouble with ordinary life, but everybody did. Not everyone had the option of retreating from the ordinary by plunging headlong into unknown dangers.

“What if I'm too screwed-up?”

“Do you think I'm particularly happy with the way my life has turned out?” asked Tia. “Lousy job. Hardly any friends. Kidnapped by pirates and space aliens on a semi-regular basis. It's not what I imagined for myself.”

“I'm sorry.”

Tia said, “I don't need your apology. It's not always about you. The pirates and aliens and thugs, that's your fault. But the other stuff, I fucked that up just fine on my own. But what's worse is that a lot of it was out of my hands. Maybe most of it. That's why it sucks.”

Connie sat up. “I'm sorry. Not about your life, but that I'm not always a very good friend.”

“Nobody's perfect, Connie. I get the appeal. Hiro is
handsome and suave. Yes, a little bit of a swaggering jerk, too, but the stupid teenage girl in us can't help but find something alluring about that. Doesn't hurt that he actually is good at what he does, but you've already tried it with him. It doesn't work with you two. But do what you want. You're going to do it anyway.”

“What if I'm not good at it?” said Connie. “Being ordinary? What if I screw it all up?”

“You will,” replied Tia. “If you really want to be a regular person, screw-ups are what define us. We make mistakes. The good thing is that usually the fate of the world isn't in the balance. Just our own messed-up lives and those few people around us.”

It sounded like a lot of responsibility to Connie. Saving the world, risking death, those things were straightforward. Kill or be killed. Do what needed to be done. But in a regular life, the consequences weren't so simple. The dangers, more vague and difficult to define.

She was loath to admit it, but they frightened her. More than dinosaur attacks, ruthless mob goons, and an army of killer robots combined.

Thelma vibrated on the table beside Connie. She picked up the pen and clicked it.

“I'd sure as hell sleep with him,” said Thelma. “Life is short, and he's gorgeous.”

“Nobody asked you.” Connie clicked Thelma quiet and shoved her in a drawer.

“What are we going to do with the enchantment now?” asked Tia.

Connie took the destiny in her hands. It vibrated as she touched it. It lacked a visible seam. She wasn't certain how to get it out of there.

The square flashed, emitting a few particles of light. They drifted upward and into her body, drawn by the scraps of enchantment clinging within her. Several streams of barely visible light flowed down her arm. The case burned brighter, transferring itself into her.

She threw it across the room. It bounced off the wall and fell to the floor and stopped glowing.

“Why'd you stop?” asked Tia. “It was working.”

“If I take that back, I'll never get rid of it,” said Connie.

“I thought you needed it back if you're going to fix the universe.”

“I don't know. All that matters right now is that we have it. If I need it, I can always take it back later. In the meantime, I want you to hold it for me.”

Tia bent down next to the destiny. She didn't touch it. “I don't think I should.”

“I trust you.”

Tia picked up the destiny, held it in delicate fingers. “Don't blame me if I fuck it up.”

“You won't fuck it up. But if you do, I'll be there to catch you.”

“Promise?”

“Don't I always?”

C
onnie couldn't resist Hiro. She never could. He only had to wait. He was surprised at how quickly she gave in, though.

She knocked on his room door. He checked his hair and his breath. Perfect. As always. He winked at the mirror. It was a shame his profession was about being unseen, but these were the sacrifices one made for greatness.

“I knew you'd be over,” he said as he opened the door.

It wasn't Connie.

“We need to talk,” said Tia.

“Do we?”

“Yes, we do. Can I come in?”

“Most certainly.” He stepped aside.

Tia studied the flower petals on the bed. Barry White drifted through the room.

“Expecting company?” she asked.

He smiled at her. “Preparation is one of the seven ninjally virtues.”

“Ninjally?”

“It's a word. Secret ninja word.”

She laughed. “You're making that up.”

“The way of the ninja is deception. I'll never tell.”

Tia sat on the bed. “You're charming. I'll give you that. This man-of-mystery, daring-rogue thing doesn't hurt either.”

“Why do you think I became the greatest ninja-slash-thief in the world? The ladies love it.”

She pointed to a pair of drinks on the end table. “What's this?”

“Just a little something to lighten the mood later.”

She took the one of the drinks and had a sip.

He shrugged. “Just a little concoction Connie and I shared in Morocco once. I was hoping it would bring up old memories.”

Tia downed the drink, tossed the empty glass over her shoulder, and wiped her mouth. “Fruity.”

“Why, Tia, I didn't think you trusted me.”

“You wouldn't be stupid enough to try to drug Connie. You're not that kind of guy. Stupid, I mean. Not trustworthy. I don't trust you. Neither does she. But, for whatever reason, she has this blind spot with you.”

“I prefer to think of it as an irresistible attraction,” he replied.

“Think of it how you want. Whatever the reason, I need you to back off.”

Hiro took his own drink and sipped it. “I admire your desire to protect your friend, but isn't that between Connie and myself?”

“She's trying to put her life together,” said Tia. “She doesn't need you to muddy the waters.”

“Again, isn't that her decision?”

Tia went around to the other side of the bed and drew the curtains. “We'll do it the hard way, then.”

“I should warn you,” he said. “I'm not Connie's match in the martial arts, but I do know how to defend myself.”

Tia laughed. “Relax, tough guy. I'm not here to fight you. Now shut up and fix me another drink.”

“If you're not here to defend Connie's honor,” he said as he mixed the different liquors together, “why are you?”

“I'm here to seduce you.” She undid two buttons on her top.

“You're wasting your time. I love Connie.”

Tia said, “You might even believe that. All the best liars lie to themselves.”

“This is a test, then? Or is that what you tell yourself to justify throwing yourself at me?”

“I'm not telling myself anything. I'm here because I want to be here. And, yes, I find you attractive. It's not like I'm volunteering to take a bullet.”

“What are you volunteering to take?” He handed her the drink and winked.

“God, you're a smug son of a bitch,” she said, downing the second drink. “But you do manage to get away with it.”

“Getting away with things is one of the seven ninjally virtues.”

“If you really love Connie, you'd ask me to leave.”

“And if I do?”

“Then I leave. Simple as that. I'll walk out that door, and the rest is about you and Connie. I'll mind my own business.”

“Aren't you worried she'll find out?”

“Oh, she'll find out. Even if neither of us tell her, she'll put it together. I'm counting on it.”

“And how do you think she'll react?” He moved closer. “She already knows I'm a womanizer, but you're her best friend.”

Tia took his hand and pulled it to her chest. “Let me worry about that.”

Hiro chuckled.

“And they call me incorrigible.”

“W
hat do you mean, he's gone?” asked Connie.

“You can't be surprised by that,” replied Tia.

Connie said, “Damn it. I can't believe I almost fell for it.”

“You're human. We all have that relationship that we're smart enough to know is bad for us but stupid enough to not avoid.”

Connie checked to see if Hiro had taken the spell with him, but it was still there. He hadn't stolen anything. He'd vanished, like he did. Like he always did. She should consider herself fortunate that he'd done it quietly, in the middle of the night instead of a more inopportune time.

“It's not like him,” she said.

“Are you kidding?” asked Tia. “It's exactly like him. I barely know him, and I feel safe saying he's the ultimate archetype of exactly that kind of guy. He's charming and handsome, and, hell, he's got great hands. Amazing hands. But it doesn't change who he is.”

When Connie was doing her detective bit, she'd get this look on her face. She had that look now, piecing together clues that Tia hadn't tried to hide, because, really, what would have been the point?

“I slept with him.” She'd planned on confessing sooner than later. Might as well get it out of the way.

Connie pursed her lips together. Her expression was unreadable.

“I'm sorry, but he was your ex,” said Tia. “You two were old news, right? He's also one hell of a blind spot for you. I thought about it, and it seemed like the only way to remind you of what kind of guy he is.”

“How selfless of you,” said Thelma.

Connie said nothing.

“The truth, then.” Tia shrugged. “You've saved my ass so many times, I finally saw the chance to return the favor. But I also wanted to sleep with him. I justified it by convincing myself that if I did, it'd be the best thing for you, but I weighed my chances of ever running across a dashing ninja-slash-thief again and thought,
What the hell?
Maybe it was a bad friend thing to do. I don't know, but at least you know what kind of guy he still is, right? And you keep saying you're over him.”

The motel room filled with silence. Tia was having trouble breathing. Connie was going to kill her using only the power of silence and her mind. If anyone could do it, Connie could.

“Y'know what? I don't give a shit.”

“You don't?” asked Tia and Thelma together.

“Okay, I give a little bit of a shit,” said Connie. “But you're right. I was thinking about doing something stupid.”

“I can see why. The guy really knows his stuff.”

“It's all about acupressure points,” said Hiro from behind her.

Tia jumped. “Goddamn, you're a sneaky son of a bitch.”

“I went out for some coffee.” He handed a bottle of apple juice to Connie and a cup of black coffee to Tia.

“I wasn't sure how you take it. Your coffee, I mean.” He winked.

Tia said, “I thought you bolted this morning.”

“Just when things are getting interesting? I trust Connie knows about us.”

“It was one night,” said Tia. “Don't get ahead of yourself.”

“Ah, but what a night.”

He moved closer. She pushed him away.

“Easy, Romeo. I'm not a moon-eyed girl ready to fall into your arms. Sorry, Connie. You know what I mean.”

“No, that's exactly who I was.”

“I hope this isn't an awkward situation for anyone,” he said. Although he obviously wasn't sorry at all.

“No, not awkward,” said Tia. Her eyes pleaded for Connie to save her.

“My best friend? My ex? What's awkward?” said Connie with a wicked smile. “I think you make a cute couple.”

“As do I.” Hiro slid up beside Tia.

She elbowed him. “You're awfully clingy for a ninja.”

Connie spread out the rest of Harrison's files on the small
motel desk. She'd been studying the papers whenever a free moment presented itself, but it was a lot of disparate data. Redacted government papers. Photos of ancient texts. Star charts. Crackpot scientific conjecture.

“Experts have spent decades, possibly centuries, working on this puzzle,” said Thelma. “I doubt you'll be able to puzzle it out in a few hours, Verity.”

“Shouldn't take that long.” Connie dialed a number on her phone and put it to her ear.

“Who are you calling?” asked Tia.

“Just a guy I know. An expert on ancient Egypt.”

“Do you think no one else thought of that?” said Thelma.

“My guy's different.”

“What makes him so special.”

“He's an immortal mummy.”

“And you have him on speed dial?”

“I have a lot of people on speed dial.”

Her call picked up, and she turned to the table. “Hey, Amun, hope this isn't an inconvenient time.”

Connie ran over a few things with Amun. After that, she called several brilliant physicists, three masters of occult studies, the world's most dangerous architect, an astrologer, a rogue zoologist, and Peter Tachyon: Master of Time. She ran through her phone, calling everyone and anyone who could be of help. She didn't reach all of them, but the ones she did reach were more than enough. Within three hours, the puzzle was solved. Or close enough.