The Last Cadillac (34 page)

As the surviving male family member of our Anna Maria Island branch, I just want to say one last thing. It was a great time. And it was weird. I'm in college now, after getting kicked out of two high schools. Mom doesn't like to remember it exactly that way, but that's the way it was. I hated high school, and so we parted ways, twice.

My sister is a woman, and I can't believe that, and my mom is happy now, I think. She wasn't for a long time, with everything happening so fast. Nothing ever stayed the same for her ,or for us, and I regretted that, while at the same time liking it. I guess that's life. In the end, there was nothing and no one my mom could really count on, not even me and my sister, or the Gampers, for that matter, but I know we all tried. We had to because we're a family. We lost a lot, but in the end we gained a lot, too.

I lost Erin. Everybody lost Erin, but no one lost her the way I did. Every person means something special to each and every single person differently. Erin was like an angel to me. She looked me right in the eye and listened to me, and I listened
to every word she ever said. I felt lonely that first day of school, walking through those halls with 2,000 students, not knowing anyone, except Erin. Tall, blond, soft, beautiful Erin. Heaven is lucky. It has Erin.

Everything changed after Erin's death, and it was so stupid, the way she died. Jared walked away from the accident, and they tried to make him go to the hospital for a checkup, but you can't fix what happened to Jared. I don't blame him, really. He's just a knucklehead, born and raised up one, like most of us. He just had a bad run of luck, and Gampers always said, you make your own luck. After Erin died, she made Jared get off the beer and pot and shit. I know she did, because he's a straight dude now. At least that's one good thing that came of losing Erin, although there really isn't anything good in it. It's hard for me to say.

Erin's ashes are scattered in the water. I always thought sunsets were the bomb, but now when I look at them, I see Erin, in all the colors and in the clouds flying over the Gulf, or the lake. Crazy. In the end, I guess that's OK. I know Erin would be cool with it, even about her ashes and all. Erin's mom is an island mom, like my mom, real different, kind of passionate and stubborn about some things. They both do what they think is right, and it turns out all right. You have to do what you think is right, even if you doubt yourself. You just have to, and then maybe adjust the situation.

Gampers would say that. He's gone, and I miss him so much. I think about him all the time. He'd agree, and stand by me, like he did my mom and my sister.

My teacher asked us to write about our proudest moment. I didn't have to think about that one for very long. I wrote about the day my grandfather fell down, and I picked him up by myself, and he was all right, not hurt at all, and he thanked me. “You're a strong, strong lad,” he said. “A good man.” I guess
something happened to me the minute he said that. I could have lifted him up to the roof.

I've had some crazy friends, and some awful good ones, too, but, in the end, he is probably the best one I ever had. We talked for hours sometimes. He didn't remember later all of what we talked about. I could tell because I had to remind him a lot, and I sort of quizzed him without getting him mad at me. Maybe he didn't remember right then, but I remember. I'll always remember, and I'll tell my kid one day, about their great grandfather, the strongest man in the world.

~ THE END ~

My family gave me inspiration—and perspiration—in the making of this story. A family has a way of doing that. A little laughing, some crying, and a whole lot of growing up, apart, and back together again. Whew! That's good.

Thanks to Donald Nicholas “Mike” Nau and Patricia McLoughlin Nau, my parents, for their endless sense of adventure and bottomless love.

And to my sibs—I have three brothers and three sisters; however, only three of them were involved in the personal drama of
The Last Cadillac
. In addition—full disclosure—I have five children. Only the two younger ones made the move to Florida with me and Dad. I thank all of them for their humor, kindness, and intelligence.

I was blessed to have Frances Ella Pike McLoughlin Nau Sullivan and Miles Henry Sullivan along for The Adventure. They made The Adventure, and they taught me a thing or two about the resilience, strength, and love of children, as did their older brothers, James Patrick, Donald Nicholas “Mick,” and Amos Wiley. Thank you to their dad for his love and care of all of them.

Thanks to Charles J. Nau, for the typewriter, and his support, love, and suggestions, and to Catherine Adams,
who read the story and had so many good ideas to improve the manuscript. To Mary Ann Johnson, David Armand, Karol Jackowski, and Kris Mauk—more than words can say—Thank you! And to Jennifer Whaley and Jeff Everett, for their polished technical expertise, humor, and for lending a hand when their hands were full.

And, thank you, especially, to Donna Essner, Kristina Blank Makansi, and Lisa Miller of Amphorae Publishing Group for their prodigious talent, warm acceptance, wise words and choices, and support.

NANCY NAU SULLIVAN has worked as a newspaper journalist, teacher, and most recently, as a university English Specialist in the Peace Corps in Mexico. She has taught English in Chicago, Argentina, and at a boys' prison in Florida. In her later years, she earned her master's degree in journalism from Marquette University. Her stories have appeared in
Akashic Books, The Blotter, The Atherton Review
, and
skirt!magazine
. Her story, “Once I Had a Bunch of Thyme” won honors at the Carnegie Center in Lexington, KY.
The Last Cadillac
is her first book.