The Last, Long Night (#5 in the Bregdan Chronicles Historical Fiction Romance Series) (57 page)

“This morning?” her father asked.  “No.  But we do know General Pickett suffered a terrible loss on Saturday.  Over five thousand men were captured.”

Carrie whitened as she thought of Robert, though she knew he was under General Gordon’s command.  “I can’t hear anything coming from Petersburg now,” she said hopefully.

Thomas shook his head.  “I fear the absence of any official report means the worst.”  He paused for a moment.  “Hobbs was called out this morning to guard the city.”

Carrie tightened her lips and clenched her hands in her lap, but remained silent, her thoughts still with Robert.  “Do you need to go in to the Capitol?

“No.  I don’t know what is coming tomorrow, but I know that for today I want to be in church with my family -
all
my family,” he said as he gazed around at Jeremy, Janie, and Clifford. 

“Where are the rest of the boarders?” Carrie asked. “I expected they would be here for breakfast since it’s Sunday.”

“They’re at the Capitol boxing records,” Thomas said shortly.

Carrie ached at the lost look in his eyes but knew nothing she could do would change anything.  She merely smiled at him and hoped the end of Richmond would not be too painful.

“It’s hard to imagine a war is going on at all,” Janie murmured, “much less believe Richmond is about to fall.”

Carrie agreed as she gazed around at budding trees and glorious daffodils swaying beneath a soft hazy sky.  Carrie agreed as she gazed around at budding trees and glorious daffodils swaying beneath a soft hazy sky.  There were thousands of Richmonders strolling to church; defying the inevitable, simply refusing to acknowledge it, or knowing they needed the comfort and strength of their faith to face what was coming.  “I so wish people knew how to connect with God outside of the emergencies that send even the profane flocking to church,” she murmured.

“And you know how to connect with God?” Thomas challenged as he overheard her.

Carrie flushed, but met his eyes squarely.  “I believe so.  I struggle with fear and worry like everyone else, but I believe we can all feel and connect with God’s heart and love.”  Her mind flew back to her special place on the banks of the James River where she had connected with God for the first time as she wrestled with the issue of slavery. 

Her father stared at her with defiant eyes that suddenly softened.  “How?” 

Carrie took a deep breath, suddenly understanding how much was behind that simple question.  “I find Him when I get still,” she said, struggling to find the right words that would carry her father through what was coming.  “I’ve learned what it means to listen during the last four years.”
              “Listen for God?” Thomas asked skeptically.  “You believe you can hear God?”  His eyes, no longer defiant, begged for something to hold on to.

“I believe God wants his children to hear his heart.  It’s just that most of us never get still long enough to listen.  I’m not saying I hear a real voice; it’s more of a whisper in my spirit that carries me through and lifts me up beyond the hard times.”

“That’s what you’re doing when you wake up early and go sit on the windowsill,” Janie suddenly said.

“Yes,” Carrie said softly.  “There are times I only hear the clamor of my own fears and thoughts, but if I can silence those, then I can hear God’s heart.”

“How do you know it’s God?” Thomas demanded.

Carrie smiled.  “Usually because what I hear is so totally opposite from what I’m thinking or what I
want
to hear.”  She reached over to take her father’s hand.  ““There are so many times pain and fear are rocketing around in my head and making so much noise it’s all I can focus on.  But then I listen…”

“And you hear God.”

Carrie prayed for her father to understand.  “Or maybe I’m just able to understand God’s heart in the midst of all of it,” she said.  “It’s hard for me to accept sometimes that God has only love in his heart for me, but I really do believe it’s true.”

“Love that would take everything I’ve ever worked for?” Thomas asked.  His voice wasn’t bitter – just full of painful question.

“God didn’t take it,” Carrie said quietly.  “The choices people made before the war started, and then all through the war, took it.  I believe God has wept so many times through these years as he watched men kill and maim each other… as he watched beautiful things be destroyed.”  She squeezed her father’s hand.  “But none of that changes his love.  Now he wants to help all of us walk through whatever is ahead.”  She took a deep breath.  “No matter what it is.”

Thomas stared at her as they neared the entrance of St. Paul’s Episcopal Church.  “How did you get so wise?” he asked suddenly.  He reached out to lay a hand on her cheek.  “You have become a remarkable woman,” he murmured tenderly.

Carrie leaned into him.  “Because my father has always been a remarkable man.”

“No.”  Thomas shook his head firmly.  “This wisdom came from somewhere besides me.  Where?” His eyes demanded an answer.

Carrie thought back.  “Sarah taught me so much.  And Aunt Abby.  But the real lessons came when Robert was missing for almost ten months.  I learned to listen because it was the only thing that kept me from going stark-raving mad.”

“And God told you Robert would come home?”

“No,” Carrie said slowly, “but I did keep hearing that God’s love would carry me through whatever happened if I would trust him.”

“I see,” Thomas murmured, something hopeful coming to life in his eyes.

The church bells clanging through the morning air made Thomas grab her hand and pull her into the church.  As they settled down in their pew, she saw President Davis sitting alone at the front.  Carrie knew he had sent his wife and children off to protect them from the revenge of the Union army. 

Carrie gazed around the full church and realized just many were searching for comfort.  She suspected every church in Richmond was full.  Reverend Minnigerode, still speaking with his slight Hessian accent, performed the service.  It was impossible to focus on his sermon because her thoughts were far south with Robert.  She prayed he was still alive, and then her prayers turned to Hobbs and Georgia.  Finally, she thought of Moses and prayed he was still alive as she thought of the tens of thousands of Union soldiers who were paying the price to make Richmond fall. 

Then, as always, her thoughts spun to Rose and Aunt Abby, hoping and praying the fall of Richmond would also signal the end of the war.  She could handle whatever would come next as long as she could have Rose and Aunt Abby in her life once again.

A sudden motion at the back of the church grabbed her attention.  Carrie felt her father stiffen beside her as they watched the pompous sexton move down the aisle, touch the president on his shoulder, and hand him a message. 

Davis rose immediately, his face grave and determined, and strode quietly from the church, his hat in hand, refusing to look at anyone. 

Carrie knew from the look on the president’s face, and from the expression on her own father’s face, that it had to be very serious.  Her own alarm grew as she watched the sexton return to summon another high official, then another and another.

Thomas leaned over to whisper in her ear.  “I’ll come back to the house as soon as I can.”  Then he rose quietly, slipped from his pew and hurried from the church.

Carrie stared after him and hardly heard Minnigerode urge the congregation to sit calmly.  He managed to keep them in place a few minutes longer before they all rose and rushed from the building. 

“Carrie?”  Janie slid up next to her and grabbed her hand, her arm hooked through Clifford’s. 

Jeremy fell in on the other side of her.

Carrie smiled at all of them, loving them for the support they offered, but her worries were for her father who would soon be on the run from the Federal government for doing what he had believed was the right thing to do.  She knew she was needed at the hospital, but she was going home to wait for her father. 

A thin lady, well dressed in spite of her hunger-pinched face, pushed past her crying, “Oh!  The city is to be evacuated immediately, and the Yankees will be here before morning.”  She raised her eyes to the sky and then whimpered, “What can it all mean?  And what will become of us poor defenseless women, God only knows!”

A younger woman hurried to grab the distraught woman’s hand.  “Don’t you worry,” she said soothingly.  “I don’t believe they will evacuate.  That has been the false report so often over the years of this war.”  Her voice was confident.  “This is nothing but another of our Sunday rumors.”

Carrie stared at the young woman whose eyes were full of burning defiance, but didn’t bother to correct her.  She would discover it was more than rumor soon enough.

“I’ll go to the Capitol,” Jeremy said.  “I’ll see what I can find out.”

Carrie nodded, turned up the hill to the throngs of people, and hurried for home.  She knew it would probably take a while before her father could return to the house, but she knew there were things to be done to help prepare for his departure.

Almost three hours later, Jeremy returned, his eyes and face grave with concern.

“They’re evacuating,” Carrie said flatly, having accepted the truth the moment the sexton tapped President Davis’s shoulder.

“Yes.  The city is in chaos.  The banks just opened, telling all their customers to come get their money.”

Carrie gasped.  “I hadn’t thought about that!”

“You have money in the bank?”

“No, thankfully.  Father took me and Janie down to withdraw everything last week.”  She didn’t add it was hidden away in her father’s wardrobe.  Just as with the mirror, she would keep her father’s secret and let him reveal it to those he chose. 

Jeremy smiled grimly.  “I’m glad you have it, though I doubt there is any value in Confederate currency any longer.”

Janie came into the room, her blue eyes wide with worry.  “Will they burn Richmond like they did Columbia?”

Jeremy frowned.  “The reports are unclear as to who actually burned Columbia, but we are certain liquor played a crucial part in it.  I just attended a special meeting of the city council.  Governor Smith was there.  He promised to leave two militia companies behind to maintain order.”

“Two militia companies for this whole city?” Carrie asked in dismay, imagining the chaos that would certainly erupt.

Jeremy nodded briefly.  “I know what you’re thinking, but they have taken steps to keep things under control.  The council appointed twenty-five men in each of the three wards to destroy all the whiskey barrels and liquor supplies.”  He hesitated and then finished.  “The mayor and a citizens’ committee were authorized to meet the Federal army and arrange for a peaceful surrender of the city.”

“Do you know where my father is?” Carrie asked.

“I saw him boxing papers in his office,” Jeremy reported.  “He said he would be here shortly.”

Just then, Thomas strode through the door, his face tight with worry and his eyes burning with anger.  They softened when he saw Carrie standing next to the window. 

Carrie sprang forward and fell into his arms, the reality of evacuation hitting her for the first time.  Thomas held her closely for several moments and then set her back gently.  “We must talk.” 

Carrie swallowed hard and then joined Jeremy, Janie, and Clifford on the sofa.  Her father remained standing, obviously fighting for control. 

“Petersburg has fallen.  The Union army will be in Richmond tomorrow morning.”

Carrie stifled a groan.  She had wished for this, but now that it was actually here she fought the fear that swept through her, realizing she had no idea when she would see her father again.  Although her hatred for the war intensified, she remained silent, letting her father talk.

“Grant is sending enough men to take the city, but most of his army is in pursuit of Lee who is headed southwest along the Appomattox River.”

Carrie could only hope Robert was part of the marching army, but she also knew the agony he must feel having to march away from Richmond and leave her.  She suddenly felt more alone than she ever had in her life.  “Are you certain you must leave, Father?”