The Last, Long Night (#5 in the Bregdan Chronicles Historical Fiction Romance Series) (67 page)

Moses’ shout could be heard through the house again. 

Carrie was laughing so hard tears were pouring down her face.  John was bouncing in her arms, straining to reach his daddy. 

Carrie sobered long enough to take control of her patient.  “I’m sorry, John, but your daddy can’t hold you right now.”

“Not hold?” he asked sadly, his face puckered with confusion.

Rose looked up at Carrie and then reached to take John and draw him close.  “How bad is it?” she asked softly.

“He’ll get well,” Carrie said firmly, “but his wound was serious.”

“Carrie saved my life,” Moses said gruffly.  “I was almost dead when they brought me into Richmond.”

Rose lifted shining eyes of gratitude.

Carrie squeezed her hand tightly.  “He can’t get out of this bed for at least ten more days.  His wound has to have time to heal or the infection could come back.  I don’t suppose,” she added teasingly, “that he’ll care about moving as long as he has you and John to look at.”

Her mind turned to practical matters.  “All our boarders are gone.  They left when Richmond was evacuated.  You, and John, and Aunt Abby will stay here.”

Rose fought to bring her swirling thoughts into place.  She wasn’t sure a heart could contain so much joy.  She simply couldn’t believe she was in Carrie’s house; holding Moses’ hand, and looking at her best friend.  Yet, after almost four years apart, it was as if they had never been separated.  And Moses was alive!

Aunt Abby understood the intensity of her feelings.  “How about if we give you some time alone with Moses?  Then you and Carrie will be able to talk.”

Rose nodded automatically, and then turned toward the door when she heard a shuffling noise.  She gazed at the man staring at her with a burning look in his eyes.  Why was he looking at her that way?

She glanced over and saw Carrie staring at the man with a huge smile on her face.  Then she turned back to the stranger whose eyes had never left her face, taking in his handsome features; not understanding the sudden, mysterious connection she felt with someone she had never seen.  “I’m sorry, do I know you?” she asked in confusion.

“Take a good look, Rose,” Moses said.

Rose was stunned to see Moses smiling as well.  “What’s going on here?” she asked, her thoughts spinning even faster.  She turned back to the man at the door.  “Who are you?  Am I supposed to know you?” 

Jeremy smiled and stepped forward.  “Probably not.  I imagine I have changed quite a lot from the day I was born.”

Rose stared at him, her mind not registering what he was saying.  “The day you were born?  What does that…?”  Her question broke off as she stared in shock, suddenly realizing she was looking at a white, male version of herself.  Her mouth opened and closed, but no sound came out.

Carrie laughed and stepped forward.  “Rose, I would like to introduce you to your twin brother, Jeremy.”

“Jeremy?” Rose whispered.  She stood slowly, taking in every feature that told her it was true, but her mind simply couldn’t absorb it.  Her eyes swung back to Carrie.

“I promise we’ll answer all your questions,” Carrie assured her.  “It’s true.  Pastor Anthony, the man who set up your escape through the Underground Railroad, was Jeremy’s adopted father.  I figured it out after I went to the plantation two winters ago.  It’s quite the story.”

Rose swung her eyes back to Jeremy and then stepped forward.  “You’re my twin?” she said unsteadily, her eyes burning into his; her heart telling her it was true.  Suddenly a smile exploded on her face.  “And you’re okay with me being black?”

“As long as you can put up with me being white,” Jeremy assured her, and then reached out to take her hand.  “Hello, sis.  It’s been a long time.”

Rose gave a cry and flung herself into his arms.  “Jeremy!  My brother!”  Great sobs of joy ripped through her body as she clung to him.  Finally she stepped back.  “How can one person take so much joy?” she murmured, her eyes traveling around the room. 

“I’m asking myself the same question,” Carrie responded.

“As am I,” Aunt Abby said in a voice thick with tears.

“Even men can’t take this much joy,” Moses said gruffly, his eyes shining with tears. 

May stomped into the room just then with a huge platter of food.  “Ain’t never heard so much noise in this house as long as I been here,” she stated in a voice full of happiness.  “I reckon all of you done built up a right big appetite.  I got Miles bringing up some more chairs.  We ain’t got nothing fancy to eat in this beat up old town, but I reckon I can fill your stomachs.” 

It was almost midnight before Carrie and Rose were alone.  Carrie knew the celebrations and talking would go on for several more days, but she had shooed everyone out of Moses’ room so he could get some rest, assuring Rose she could sleep with him again in a few days.  John was asleep in a corner of the room, snuggled in a crib May had found in the attic.  Rose and Aunt Abby had met Janie and Clifford, and Hobbs had stumbled in shortly before midnight, exhausted from a long day at the hospital.  She had sent him to bed, telling him she’d fill him in on everything the next morning.  He had been too tired to protest. Aunt Abby was tucked into the room next to theirs, with a promise Carrie would have her all to herself for a while the next day.  Carrie was holding the secret of Matthew being here; wanting to enjoy the renewed celebration when he arrived for breakfast the next morning.

Rose settled down in the bed next to Carrie’s and just stared at her.

Carrie stared right back, letting the silence linger as cool air swirled in through the filmy curtains.  She took a deep breath, thankful there was no longer the smell of smoke.  “You don’t seem real to me yet, either,” she finally said, breaking the silence.

Rose smiled.  “You always know what I’m thinking,” she said softly, her eyes filling with tears.  “I’ve missed you so badly.  There were times I was afraid things wouldn’t be the same again…”

“…That we both would have changed too much,” Carrie finished for her.  “I know.  I felt the same thing.  But it’s like…”

“…we were never apart,” Rose said with a laugh.  Then she sobered.  “We haven’t talked about Robert.”

Carrie sighed heavily.  “He’s with Lee’s Army.  At least I hope he is.  There is so much chaos since the city was occupied that we haven’t been getting any reports.  I don’t know if he’s dead or alive, or perhaps a prisoner of war.”

Rose gasped.  “That’s horrible!”

“I suppose I should say I’m used to it,” Carrie said, “but I don’t suppose you ever get used to not knowing if someone you love is dead or alive. But you know that…” 

Rose nodded.  “Yes...” she whispered as she looked at the wall. “I can still hardly believe Moses is right next door.”   She swung her eyes back to rest on Carrie’s face.   “Matthew told me Robert was missing for ten months.”

“Yes,” Carrie said, a smile finding its way to her face.  “I know Moses was the one who saved his life and took him to the black family who so changed him,” she said softly.  “I will forever be grateful.  The months he was missing were the most difficult time of my life, but it also made him into the man I could marry.  You’ll find he’s very different.”

“All I need to know is that you love him,” Rose said firmly.  “Your father?”

Carrie told her what she knew.  “I know he’s going to try and get a message through to me, but I don’t know when I’ll see him again, or if he’ll have to go to prison.”

Rose frowned.  “I don’t think Lincoln is planning on putting officials in prison,” she protested. 

“Perhaps not,” Carrie replied, “but everyone is terrified and no one really knows what is going on.  The last week has been rather difficult.”

Rose laughed.  “You’ve always had the gift of understatement,” she teased.  “I was horrified when we came into the city.  There is only one train depot not burned.  So much of the city is ruined.”

Carrie nodded sadly.  “It was horrible to watch.”

Rose finally waved her hand.  “We have days to catch up on what has happened.  Aunt Abby has promised we’ll be here for at least two weeks.”

“Two weeks!” Carrie gasped, joy exploding in her heart again.  “That’s wonderful.”

Rose moved over to sit on the bed next to her and grabbed her hands.  “Who have you become, Carrie?”

Carrie sobered instantly, looking deep into the brown eyes regarding her with so much love.  “Who have I become?” she murmured, knowing Rose wanted nothing but the truth.  “I’ve grown up,” she said slowly.  “I’ve been through four years of war that have taught me just how strong and capable I am.  It’s given me opportunities I would never have dreamed of.  I’ve learned I want to be a doctor just as much as I thought I did.  I’m married to a wonderful man who supports my dreams, and that I love with all my heart. But mostly,” she took a deep breath, “I’ve learned that nothing ever lasts.”

“What do you mean?”

“Nothing ever lasts,” Carrie repeated softly.  “No matter how difficult a time is, it will pass.  No matter how wonderful a time is, it will pass.  Life is like the tides in the ocean.  It’s a continual ebb and flow.  I’ve learned to not hang on too tightly.  If I hang on to the pain, I can’t see when it is gone, and I miss the joy.  If I hang on to tightly to the joy, I am devastated when something else difficult or painful happens.”  She stopped to see if Rose understood what she was saying.

“Keep going,” Rose said gently.

Carrie took a deep breath.  “How I live life is my choice.  Always.  I can choose joy and peace in the midst of any circumstances because I know things will always change.  I’ve learned that just like the tides are necessary in the ocean, they are necessary in my life.  I wouldn’t be who I am without the hard times, and life would hardly be worth living without the times full of joy.”

Rose nodded.  “Times just like these.”

Carrie smiled.  “Exactly! I’m learning to embrace both of them.”  She squeezed Rose’s hands.  “Your turn - who have you become?”

“Exactly who I wanted to be!” Rose said quickly with a wide smile.  “I love being a teacher and I’m very good at it.”

“That I’m sure of,” Carrie said proudly.

Rose grinned.  “I love being a wife and mother.  Most of the time I can move beyond the fears mama told me always held me back.  I feel them, but I know I can banish them by taking action.  There are so many times when I feel she is still with me – looking at me with her loving, wise eyes.”

“I know exactly what you mean,” Carrie exclaimed.  “She may be gone, but all she taught me is still in my heart and mind.  It pops up just when I need it.”

Rose nodded and then looked off into the distance.  “Mostly I’ve become someone who knows I have to be so much more.”  She paused while Carrie waited quietly.  “Black people are free now.  They believe they have accomplished so much, but all they’ve really done is received the
freedom
to accomplish something.”  She struggled to find the right words.  “I know my job is to help them become all they’ve dreamed of being.  I’ve known for a long time that I want to be a leader for my people; it’s been just recently that I’ve realized I’m
meant
to be a leader for my people.”

“And the reality of that responsibility is scary,” Carrie added quietly.

“Yes,” Rose whispered.  “I’m afraid I won’t be enough.”
              “Now what would your mama say?”

Rose laughed.  “You’re right.  Remember, I said
most
of the time I can move beyond the fears.  This is a big one.”

Carrie nodded.  “I understand.  I know I’m meant to be a doctor.  I also know I’m meant to be a role model for women who will follow after me in the years to come.  Most of the time it excites me.  But there are those times when it terrifies me and I want to run back to the plantation and raise tobacco.”

Rose just looked at her.  Suddenly they were both laughing hysterically, holding their sides at the image of either of them back on the plantation long-term.  Slowly their laughter died away, the air cleansed from fear by laughing in the face of it.

“The war is almost over,” Carrie said slowly.  “The last four years have almost been mandated for us because of the reality of the war.  Now it’s going to be up to us to decide what we want for our lives.”