The Last Princess (51 page)

Heart pounding, Lily tried to move her lips to respond, “Hello, Mr. Murrow,” but no sound came forth.

As Harry answered for them, “Hello, Edward,” he glanced at Lily and almost chuckled. She sat with her hands primly folded underneath her false front, for fear that the pillow would move.

“How do you feel, Mrs. Kohle?” asked Murrow.

Lily was caught off guard. She had thought that the first questions would be directed to Harry. As she struggled for the right words, she saw the red eye on the camera blinking. Her mind went totally blank.

“How do you feel, darling?” Harry repeated, hoping she would recover.

Haltingly, Lily managed to reply, “Fine …”

“Was it a surprise when you discovered that you were expecting your fifth child?” continued Murrow.

“Oh,” she said, “no. I mean, it was a surprise, but a wonderful one.” Lily sat rigid, eyes staring straight ahead while Harry carried the ball, laughing and chatting amiably.

Yes, they were thrilled—overjoyed…. Of course they had told the other children…. Did they want a boy or girl? … Does it matter to you, darling? … No, they just wanted a healthy baby….

Lily hadn’t realized how overwhelming and terrifying it would be to lie before the whole country. Françoise had been instructed to take Cadeau out in the carriage, but Lily still kept imagining she heard a baby’s cry.

At long last the ordeal was over. As the grips efficiently packed up their gear and carried it out to the truck, Murrow said, “Thank you, Mr. and Mrs. Kohle. You were superb—and congratulations on the new addition to your family.”

This had been the worst strain Lily had ever known—but suddenly, unexpectedly, as she closed the door after Murrow and his crew, she doubled over in laughter. How ridiculous she must have looked, so stiff, unable to speak.

Harry laughed too. “You were wonderful, darling. The picture of the perfect pregnant woman. But you had better not take the pillow out yet, just in case one of them has forgotten something and comes back.”

“If they do, we won’t let them in,” she called gaily, running down the hall and pulling the pillow out from under her dress at the same time. An hour later, Françoise was back with the peacefully happy baby.

“Wake up, sleepyhead,” Lily said, going to pick her up.

Cadeau yawned. How fragile she looked! Lily lifted her and cradled her in her arms.

“Oh, the lies I tell for you, Cadeau,” she said, stroking the soft little head. “But you’re worth it.” Behind her, Harry watched the scene. His love for her overwhelmed him. Not even in the beginning, with their passionate lovemaking, had he been so wholly and completely in love with her.

In the past year he had come to know that his life had no meaning without Lily. Like so many men, he hadn’t realized how much his wife meant to him until he lost her—until after he had strayed into the beds of other women for motives which, in retrospect, seemed ludicrously thin.

For months now, he had barely been able to function. He had written
The Sod,
but he knew that it was a minor work, not on the scale of
The Genesis
, or even
The Mountains Roared
. For in reality, Lily had always been his inspiration. She had been the most sustaining force behind him. He was unable even to think of other women now; Lily was all he wanted, now and forever.

This coming together over Cadeau had presented him with a ray of hope, but as the weeks and months had passed, he had almost despaired. Lily was pleasant, but distant. It seemed there was an impassable barrier between them. Sometimes, broodingly, he would wonder, Was it even a question of forgiveness? Once, he had mistakenly thought that his love for her had simply burned out. Could it be now that the tables were turned, that her feeling for him had evaporated?

Harry knew he had to face facts. Lily had been anything but eager for this reconciliation. Cadeau’s adoption was the only thing that prompted it. Unlike Harry, Lily had no ulterior motive to promote. Looking at her as she bent over the crib, laying the baby down, her face aglow with a gentle radiance, Harry thought that she looked like an angel. And his heart overcame his better judgment. As she turned toward him, he reached out and took her in his arms. Tears glistening in his eyes, he whispered, “Lily, don’t you think that maybe we could start over again? I love you so much….”

Lily felt a sudden stirring she hadn’t felt in a long, long time. There was hope and joy and the thrill of Harry’s nearness. But almost as suddenly, there was the old mistrust and doubt. She wanted so much to believe, after all the long, lonely nights, lying in her bed alone. It was like a glimpse of heaven to have Harry’s arms around her again, whispering words of love. Deep down, she always knew that she would love him until death did them part.

Yet she didn’t want to let herself love him again. It would give him the power to hurt her once more, and she couldn’t bear to be betrayed as she had been before. It seemed as if Harry had changed—she wanted to believe it—but it had seemed to her he had reformed one or two times before. Was she trying to make herself believe in him again simply because she so much wanted to believe? On the other hand, did she want to wind up a lonely old woman, all because of pride and apprehension?

Finally Harry broke the silence. “You still don’t trust me, do you?”

“I want to trust you,” she whispered back. “But I just can’t….”

Just then, Cadeau stirred and Harry gently drew Lily out of the room and down the hall to her own bedroom, closing the door behind them.

Taking her into his arms once again, he said, “When I said ‘I love you’ in the past, I never thought enough about what it entailed. Not just romance and passion, but living for each other, intertwining our lives and becoming one. That is what I realized when I lost you—that in my self-centeredness I had missed out on a very wonderful part of life, the most important part.” Harry swallowed hard. “If you’ll give me just one chance, I swear to you—I swear—that I will devote the rest of my life to you and Cadeau. I will be entirely faithful to you—always. For whatever I’m worth, will you accept me?”

Lily now had tears in her eyes, too. She had never heard such heartfelt sincerity in a human voice in her life. There was nothing left to say except, softly, “Yes, Harry.”

Harry pulled her into his arms and kissed her. “Oh God,” he murmured. “Oh God, Lily, I love you so.”

Their lips still pressed together, he fumbled at the buttons of her dress. Drawing her down onto the bed, he felt her satiny flesh against him. How he’d longed for this. He kissed her like a man who had been starved for affection for a long time. Her lips, her breasts, her arms around him, he couldn’t get enough of the feel of her, her lovely fragrance….

Lily was intensely aroused by Harry’s touch, his nearness after all the lonely months. She wanted him as never before. Then, as he entered her, she moaned softly.
Oh God …

In the final moment before the culmination, he whispered brokenly, “Don’t ever leave me. You belong here, with me.”

Lying in his arms afterward, spent and exhilarated at the same time, she was content not to talk. Suddenly, it was as though they had no past, only a future … and Lily longed to reach out to it.

I
N THE AFTERMATH OF
the Murrow show, the cards and letters and gifts had poured in for the coming baby. Exactly five months from the date of the Murrow show, the Kohles heralded the birth of a darling baby girl: Cadeau Kohle. In reality, Cadeau was now six months old, but she had been two months premature. She was still very small. Within a few weeks, when they began to receive callers, it was impossible to tell that she had not been a newborn. She was simply a baby, an unusually pretty, alert baby, with a little fuzz of silky red hair and perfect, rosy little lips.

“Isn’t she just like a little rosebud!” cooed their guests, as Harry and Lily, looking on, nearly burst with pride.

The weather was now growing cool and so, as soon as Lily was “recovered” from the rigors of her confinement, they closed The Meadows for the season and went back to Manhattan.

The tiny “gift” was put down in a Directoire cradle padded in white satin and tufted with tiny pink roses. A graceful swan held aloft a drift of sheer white organdy tied with an enormous pink bow, from which cascaded slender ribbons.

On the day of Cadeau’s naming ceremony, Lily was filled with excitement as she dressed. Before, the ceremonies for the children had somehow been so forlorn, with Harry still a pariah from his family; the elder Kohles attended but seemed distant and grim. The wound of her parents’ loss had still been new then, and despite their neglect she had felt intense sadness that they were not there to see their grandchildren.

But this day she felt wholly joyous. When Harry walked into her dressing room and saw her standing in front of the mirror, he stopped short, overcome. She wore a stunning green silk suit which brought out the color of her eyes, and a small satin toque adorned with violets. A delicate veil hung from the brim.

Holding her at arm’s length, he said, “Lily, you look magnificent.”

Then he took a box from his inner pocket and opened it, revealing a shimmering double strand of pearls with a diamond clasp whose facets caught and splintered the early-morning light.

“Darling, how lovely!” Lily cried. “They’re exquisite!”

“Not as exquisite as you are, Lily.” Taking her into his arms, he said softly, “Nothing is too good for you.” They held each other for a long moment before going out to greet Harry’s parents.

Benjamin and Elise Kohle had been overjoyed at the news of a new grandchild and felt this to be an extra blessing bestowed upon them in their advanced years.

They looked very distinguished today. Benjamin was slightly bent with age, but his silver mane was still magnificent, and his dark suit, though of an old-fashioned cut, impeccable. Elise looked regal in a blush-rose silk dress, along with matching accessories and her heirloom pearl-and-diamond jewelry. A small cloche hat covered with egret feathers set off her snow-white hair and a sable coat protected her against the cold.

Françoise brought in Cadeau, clad in the same silk and lace robes Harry himself had worn. The naming ceremony was not private, as those of Jeremy, Drew, Randy, and Melissa had been. It was held at the cathedral-like Temple Ben Israel, with its beautiful stained-glass windows and mahogany pews, where generations of Kohles had worshipped.

There were myriad guests, but somehow the ceremony itself remained touching and intimate. As Lily stood with the baby, she could not help but offer up a silent prayer of thanks to Melissa. At the same time, she felt an intense sadness—her daughter had deprived herself of the pure joy of this baby.

As quickly as they came to her, she dismissed those thoughts. This was a day to rejoice and be glad.

The reception overflowed the Kohle home, and what Harry and Lily felt was indeed for the world to see.

They were so busy accepting congratulations and best wishes that there was little time for them to talk, but in the late afternoon there came a moment when they found themselves together in a quiet corner. Looking at her with love in his eyes, Harry clinked his champagne glass with her. “To you, darling. The greatest gift God ever sent me.”

Standing nearby, Ellis observed the scene. His expression remained unchanged, though his heart was pained. He could not hear Harry’s words, but it didn’t matter. The way Harry looked down at Lily, the gesture of homage, their obvious closeness said it all. Their new intimacy had little to do with any pretense they had concocted for Cadeau’s sake.

Ellis didn’t know why this new turn in the Kohles’ relationship surprised him; after all, he had seen this coming all along. Lily’s deep sense of loyalty was easy to revive, it seemed. After all, he thought bitterly, this was the second time Harry had strayed, only to beg forgiveness, and be forgiven.

The advent of Cadeau seemed to seal the Kohles’ fate. Ellis’s chance to have Lily to love and cherish was probably forever gone.

You’re a bloody fool, Ellis Knox, he thought bitterly. The only chance you had was when Harry and Lily were living apart. And what the hell did you do with that opportunity? You bided your time; you didn’t romance her; you were a chivalrous goddamned gentleman—and look where that chivalry has gotten you!

Harry Kohle had the devil’s own luck; he had needed no magic wand. This baby who just appeared at the critical moment without Harry’s having to lift a finger. No, all Harry had done was come up with his zany plan. And even then, Ellis had done absolutely nothing to intercede.

Unable to bear the sight of the two of them together any longer, he turned away, flagged a passing waiter, and said curtly, “Bring me a double Scotch—straight up.”

After Cadeau’s momentous “birth” into the world, Harry and Lily’s lives began to settle into a new pattern. For the first time ever, they were completely one. Harry began work on a new novel, but he felt no great urgency or passion about it. Meanwhile, Lily continued with her charity work, and although it kept her busy, she was not nearly as involved as she had been at the times of the Spring Balls she had chaired before. More than anything, she devoted herself to Harry and little Cadeau.

Harry and Lily did not try to recapture their old relationship; instead, they forged a new companionship tempered by mutual respect as well as love. At the same time, in the back of their minds dwelt the memory of their past mistakes. They trod softly in reminiscing. As well as joy, there was still much pain in their past. But one thing—if unspoken—remained clear: Nothing was more important than what they now had—not a book or a prize or a lecture tour or a committee. And neither would go anywhere without the other.

It seemed that finally there was no blight on their happiness, no fatal flaw that would doom them when they felt more sure. Having come through all the hills and valleys, Lily would never have believed that life could reach such a blissful mode.

They talked of Cadeau’s future. They would enroll her in a girls’ school in New York—she was not to be sent to boarding school. They would take her to see the lions at the zoo. If she liked them, perhaps they would take her on a safari in Africa once she was a little older. She seemed musically inclined—they must find a piano teacher for her.