The Last Samurai (33 page)

We didn’t do any science today so I could not tell if that was what people had been doing.

When I got home I started reading The Voyage of the Beagle. This is an excellent book. I have worked out that Charles Darwin could not be my father, because he died in 1882, but I am going to finish the book anyway.

Today was my second day at school.

We started the day off by painting pictures of animals. I did a picture of a tarantula with 88 legs. Miss Lewis asked what it was and I explained that it was an oktokaiogdoekontapodal tarantula. I don’t know if there are any real ones, I think this is just something I made up. Then I did another picture. This one was of a heptakaiogdoekontapodal tarantula because the first one got in a fight and lost a leg. Then I did a picture of two monster tarantulas fighting, each one had 55 legs and it took a long time to draw all the legs. Before I had finished Miss Lewis said we should put away our drawings because it was time to do some arithmetic. We were supposed to go to the addition positions and work at our own speed. At addition position 1 you do a worksheet adding 1 to a number and at addition position 2 you add 2 to a number.

When I finished all the worksheets I was the only one at position 9 so I decided to do some multiplication. Addition takes quite a long time to get anywhere unless you are adding big numbers and all the numbers at the positions were quite small. I practised multiplying 99 × 99 and 199 × 199 and some other interesting numbers. I like numbers that are almost some other number.

I read three more chapters of The Voyage of the Beagle tonight. I was too tired to work on Japanese.

Today was my third day of school. I was still at addition position 9. I decided to practise using the distributive principle of multiplication. The distributive principle of multiplication is in chapter 1 of Algebra Made Easy but it was my own idea to use it with 9 because it is almost 10.

999999 × 999999 = 999998000001

9999999 × 9999999 = 99999980000001

99999999 × 99999999 = 9999999800000001

999999999 × 999999999 = 999999998000000001

9999999999 × 9999999999 = 99999999980000000001

99999999999 × 99999999999 = 9999999999800000000001

999999999999 × 999999999999 = 999999999998000000000001

9999999999999 × 9999999999999 = 99999999999980000000000001

Today was my fourth day of school.

Today was my fifth day of school. It was boring.

Today is Saturday. I mastered 20 characters in Halpern. 417 to go. I told Sibylla I thought I should do some more French and Greek and Latin and Hebrew and Arabic even though I was doing Japanese because apparently I will not get to do them at school until I am 12 and I was afraid I would forget them by then. I thought Sibylla would be appalled but she just said all right. I also pointed out that they probably would not teach me German either until I was 12 so it might be a good idea if she taught me instead. I thought she was going to say I would have to do a lot of Japanese first but instead she said she would show me a little poem because I had been so good all week. The poem was called Erlkönig by Goethe, about a boy who is riding on a horse behind his father and the Erlking keeps calling the boy and the father doesn’t hear and then the boy dies.

Today was Sunday so I did not have to go to school. I read Amundsen and Scott. I mastered 30 Japanese characters thoroughly and Sibylla commented, ‘Well, at least Mr. Ma will never know, I shudder to think what he would think.’ I asked, ‘Who is Mr. Ma?’ Sibylla said he was the father of a famous cellist. I asked, ‘Is he a travel writer?’ Sibylla said, ‘Not to my knowledge, jinsai.’

Today when I got home from school Sibylla was in a terrible state. She said Red Devlin had been taken hostage in Azerbaijan. I asked who was Red Devlin. She said he was a journalist. She said everyone said he could persuade anyone to do anything. He was called Red because he didn’t have red hair and because he was brave to the point of insanity. He had been in Lebanon and then he had gone to Azerbaijan and been kidnapped after three days.

I asked, ‘Was he a good writer?’

‘Oh no,’ said Sibylla, ‘He’s a lousy writer, he goes to all these amazing places and sees tumbledown cottages and ragged urchins and girls with coltlike grace. But what a terrible thing to happen.’

Suddenly I had an idea.

Only time will tell.

1 × 11 × 11

11 × 11 = (10 × 11) + (1 × 11) = 121

111 × 111 = (100 × 111) + (10 × 111) + (1 × 111) = 12321

1111 × 1111 = (1000 × 1111) + (100 × 1111) + (10 × 1111) +

(1 × 1111) = 1234321

11111 × 11111 × 123454321

111111 × 111111 = 12345654321

1111111 × 1111111 = 1234567654321

11111111 × 11111111 = 123456787654321

111111111 × 111111111 = 12345678987654321

11 × 11 = 121

11 × 111 = 1221

11 × 1111 = 12221

11 × 11111 = 122221

111 × 111 = 12321

111 × 1111 = 123321

111 × 11111 = 1233321

111 × 111111 = 12333321

1111 × 1111 = 1234321

1111 × 11111 = 12344321

11111 × 111111 = 1234554321

111111 × 1111111 = 123456654321

1111111 × 11111111 = 12345677654321

111111111 × 11 = 1222222221

111111111 × 111 = 12333333321

111111111 × 1111 = 123444444321

111111111 × 11111 = 1234555554321

111111111 × 111111 = 12345666654321

111111111 × 1111111 = 123456777654321

111111111 × 11111111 = 1234567887654321

111111111 × 111111111 = 12345678987654321

Today as soon as I got into class Miss Lewis took me to one side and said, ‘Stephen, I want you to make a real effort to be a cooperative member of the class.’

I said it was hardly necessary to remind me of this as Dr. Bandura had underlined the importance of cooperative behaviour. Miss Lewis said, ‘Good.’

Today when I got to school Miss Lewis said it was important for people to do their own work and what was she to think when she found that five other children had 111 × 111 and 1111 × 1111 and 11111 × 11111 on their addition sheets. I said they would appear to have used the distributive principle of multiplication. Miss Lewis said I must understand that it was important for people to work at their own rate. I said I did understand. Miss Lewis said, ‘Good.’

I worked out that I have spent 12 days in school which is 84 hours so I could have read 8400 lines of the Odyssey. I could have read Herodotus or ad Nicoclem or Cyropaedia and Memorials of Socrates. I could have finished Algebra Made Easy. I could have started Calculus Made Easy. I could have mastered all the Japanese characters thoroughly.

The thing that is worrying me is that J. S. Mill did not go to school. He was taught by his father and that was why he was 25 years ahead of everybody else.

I decided to take the Argonautica to school.

Today I took the Argonautica to school. Miss Lewis took it away and made me take it home again at the end of the day.

Today I could have read Book 2 of the Argonautica.

Today I could have read Book 3 of the Argonautica.

Today was Saturday. I read Book 1 of the Argonautica. It is longer than I thought. I read up to line 558 and I mastered 30 Japanese characters thoroughly and the rest of the time I practised tying knots.

Today was Sunday. I read Book 1 of the Argonautica up to line 1011 and I mastered another 30 Japanese characters and I practised some more knots and I read Half Mile Down.

Today I could have finished the Argonautica.

Today Miss Lewis gave me a note to take to Sibylla. She said this could not go on.

I gave the note to Sibylla and I do not know what it said but I do not think Miss Lewis told her what really happened. Sibylla read the note and she said, ‘What!’ and then she looked at me and said, ‘Well, you must feel good after throwing so many people around.’

I said, ‘Well, do you want me to go and die? Do you want me to jump out a window?’

Sibylla said now that I was 6 I was old enough to act like a rational human being.

I said Miss Lewis told me to be a cooperative member of the class but when I tried to help people she said they should do their own work but when I tried to do
my
own work and take Algebra Made Easy to class she said I should try to be more involved and be a cooperative member of the class. I said, ‘We are supposed to be working at our own speed but whenever I try she tells me to stop and whenever I ask a question she does not know the answer. She does not know anything I do not know already so I don’t think there is any point in going to school.’

Sibylla said, ‘But you’ve only been at school a month. How do you know Miss Lewis doesn’t know anything you don’t know? You can’t possibly make up your mind on so little evidence.’

I said, ‘Well, how much more evidence do you need?’

Sibylla said, ‘What?’

I said, ‘How much more evidence? Do you want me to go for another week or another two weeks or how long?’

Sibylla said, ‘I think you are legally required to go until you are 16.’

Sibylla said, ‘Please don’t cry,’ but at first I couldn’t stop. No wonder Miss Lewis doesn’t know anything because we have to go whether she knows anything or not.

I said, ‘Let’s take two people about to undergo 10 years of horrible excruciating boredom at school, A dies at the age of 6 from falling out a window and B dies at the age of 6 + n where n is a number less than 10, I think we would all agree that B’s life was not
improved
by the additional n years.’