The Last Woman (All That Remains #1) (9 page)

“Yes, Abby, now go to sleep.”

“You sound like Airen.” I
giggle.

Oh Fuck. I was so drunk I didn’t
even know who I was talking to.

Airen laughs and shakes his
head. “Because my voice is so sexy?”

“Stop. I don’t hit on Airen. I
wouldn’t do that.”

Where was I going with this? Did
I think I was talking to Joseph?

“Oh no?” Airen teases me.

“No,” I say seriously,
throwing my arm across my eyes. “I think he worries about it, though.”

“He worries that you’ll hit on
him?” Airen asks.

Why is he playing along? Why
doesn’t he tell me he’s Airen and leave me to pass out?

“I’d never do that. Airen’s a
good guy, and I don’t want him to leave.”

Oh Shit. Shit, Shit, Shit.
Stop talking to me, Airen! I’m terrified to learn what I said next, but I have
to know.

He sits beside me on the bed,
his face dimly lit by the lantern and asks quietly, “Why would he leave?”

“He doesn’t have to worry. I
won’t do anything to ruin what we all have here. It’s like a family.”

“You think Airen would leave
if you flirted with him?” he asks, stunned.

“Any guy will run if he thinks
some ugly girl is chasing him,” I state matter-of-factly.

Oh no, I just want to crawl
under my bed and die.

He seems to be speechless for
a few moments. “Do you think Airen finds you ugly?” His voice is soft.

I laugh a bitter resigned
laugh. “I am ugly. I always have been. It’s not like it’s a secret.” I’m
slurring my words again. “It’s okay. Some people are slow, too fat, or too
skinny. It happens. I’m ugly, but I don’t let it bother me,” I claim, as a tear
drips out of the corner of my eye, making a liar of me.

He wipes it away with a
fingertip and murmurs, “You’re breaking my heart talking about yourself like
this, Abby.”

My face scrunches in confusion.
“I’m fine. I just don’t want him to be worried that I’ll ever try anything or
put him in the position where he has to say no. He’s a good guy,” I repeat.

“What if Airen came on to
you?”

Why is he doing this? Is he
testing me while he knows I’ll tell the truth?

“He wouldn’t.”

“He flirts with you.”

“He’s just playing. He knows I
know better.”

“But what would you do? What
would you do if he kissed you?” His voice is hushed.

“He wouldn’t.”

“If he did?”

“I’d kiss him back and always
try to remember how it felt. Then, I’d remind him there will be other girls
someday, girls in his league. He just has to find one.”

He’s quiet for a few seconds
before he asks softly, “What if Airen loves you?”

“He doesn’t. He can’t. I’m not
the last woman alive.”

“Do you love Airen?”

Oh God. Oh, No. My heart is in
my throat.

“I try not to.”

Sighing, he rests his forehead
on his palm.

“I know,” I moan, apparently
taking his sigh as a sign of disapproval. “I just can’t help it sometimes. He’s
such a good man. He really cares about me and the kids, and he’s so goddamned
beautiful, but I won’t ever let him know. I promise I won’t chase him away,” I
sob.

“Shh,” he whispers, brushing
my hair back from my cheek.

“I promise,” I murmur again
and finally fall quiet.

I think I’ve passed out, and
he must’ve thought so, too.

“You can’t even imagine that I
could love you,” he whispers sadly.

“No one has ever loved me,” I
confess and mercifully lose consciousness.

I’m shaking as I turn off the
camera. What the hell have I done? He knows. He knows how I really feel about
him. Just when things were getting back to normal, I destroy everything. I
crawl under the covers and pull them over my head. I can’t blame him if he
wants to leave us now, or if he goes back to avoiding me. I’ve really blown it
this time. I think about Carson calling him Dad, and I die inside. Curling up
on my bed, I cry myself to sleep.

It’s evening when Carson
knocks on my door. “Are you okay? You slept all day,” he says.

I force a smile. “I’m fine. I
just drank too much last night.”

He laughs. “Airen said to tell
you dinner is almost ready if you want to join the land of the living.”

“You guys start without me. I
need a shower first.” He nods and pulls the door shut behind him.

I know I can’t avoid Airen
forever, but I’m just not sure what I should do. I realize if it hadn’t been
for the camera being left on, I wouldn’t even know what I’d done. I don’t
remember any of it so I decide to go with that. I’ll act like nothing happened,
watch his reaction, and try to judge how much damage I’ve caused. In other
words, I’m going to play dumb and hope he lets it go. At least I made it clear
I’d never act on my feelings.

I make it through dinner and
everything is fine, though they tease me about being hung over.

“What’s the last thing you
remember?” Airen asks.

“We were on the porch.” It
really is the last thing I remember.

* * *
*

It’s been a few days and I’m
beginning to relax. I guess Airen is going to pretend it never happened as
well. He’s probably embarrassed, and I don’t blame him. Carson’s dad used to
get teased by his friends for dating me. It makes sense that Airen wouldn’t
want anyone to know I have feelings for him.

It’s nearly April, and a year
has passed since the plague decimated the population. Airen suggests we have a
little celebration.

“It doesn’t seem like a
festive occasion,” I argue.

“Surviving the year does.” I
can’t argue with that.

“Oh! We should get dressed
up!” Jayla exclaims. “I haven’t worn a dress in so long.”

Grudgingly, the guys agree to
dress nice.

“I’m not wearing a suit,”
Carson proclaims.

“You can wear a nice shirt and
some slacks,” I reply. “Same goes for Joseph and Airen.”

I’m not particularly thrilled
to wear a dress, but if it makes Jayla happy it’ll be worth it. We make a trip to
a neighboring town to outfit ourselves. Jayla and I separate from the guys to
try on dresses and shoes. She’s so excited to have a reason to dress up, and
her enthusiasm is contagious. We ooh and aah over the dresses until she finds
the perfect outfit.

“I’m going to take a million
pictures,” she swears, and I giggle at her exuberance.

The night of what has been
dubbed the “End of the World Party” arrives. I’ve made a huge cake, cookies,
and fruit punch for the kids. Airen has picked up a bottle of wine, and Joseph
rigs up a set of speakers to play music from our iPods. Jayla looks beautiful
in her summer dress and low heeled sling back shoes. She has her hair in braids
and it makes her look older. Carson’s eyes widen when he sees her, and I nod at
him with my eyebrows raised.

“You look really pretty,” he
whispers, blushing hard.

Her face lights up, and she
hugs him. “You look so handsome!” she squeals.

I think he’s going to combust
on the spot.

I smile at Airen and Joseph
when they arrive in the living room. “You two sure clean up good.” It has to be
the understatement of the century.

Joseph is wearing black dress
pants and a green button up shirt that brings out his eyes, making them glitter
like emeralds. His hair falls over his ears and tumbles down his forehead in
soft, golden curls. He’s sexy.

Airen is breathtaking. He wears
dark blue slacks that hug his behind, showing how perfect and round it is. His
white button up shirt molds to his muscles and broad shoulders and his ebony
hair is messy as if he’s been running his hands through it. Even with an air of
elegance and grace about him, he still manages to radiate sex. I could stare at
him all night.

Both Airen and Joseph
compliment me on the clingy black dress Jayla wouldn’t let me leave the store
without. She also French braided my hair, but I drew the line when she brought
out the makeup.

“Well, who is this handsome
young man?” I exclaim when Walker appears, dressed in gray slacks and a light
blue polo shirt. “There was a dirty little boy here earlier, with sand in his
hair and grass on his clothes.”

“It’s me!” Walker laughs.

The party is a hit with the
kids. They play games, dance, eat, and wear themselves out. I stop after two
glasses of wine. After my last catastrophic bender, I’m taking no chances. Joseph
is tossing them back pretty hard, but I notice Airen has only had a drink or
two all night.

True to her word, Jayla takes
a ton of photos. I take the camera from her to get a picture of her and Carson
dancing together, which may be the sweetest thing I’ve ever seen. Joseph drags
me to my feet for a dance.

“I’m not a good dancer. I’ll
probably step all over your feet,” I protest.

“Just follow my lead.” I do,
and he’s a good dancer. It’s a slow song, and I let myself relax against him as
we move together. “You look lovely, Abby,” he murmurs in my ear.

“Thank you. You look too
handsome in green, you know. ”

“I didn’t know one could be
too handsome.”

“Neither did I.” Holy shit.
Why am I flirting with him? The wine must have gone straight to my head. He hugs
me and kisses my cheek when the song ends. I notice Airen watching us. Hmm,
maybe he’s hoping I’ll turn my affection toward Joseph, and he won’t have to
worry anymore. Of course, he doesn’t realize Joseph also dates women, and even
if he did, Joseph is a catch, and wouldn’t be interested in me.

When the kids talk Joseph into
playing a video game with them in Jayla’s room before they go to bed, I assume
the party is over.

“Will you dance with me?”
Airen asks, holding out his hand.

I try not to show my surprise
as I take his hand and follow him. He changes the song to one of my favorites, an
acoustic version of
Give Me Love
by Ed Sheeran. I try to act normal and
hold him the same as I did Joseph, but he smells so good; like citrus and musk.

He holds my hand and slips his
fingers between mine, sliding his other arm around my waist and pulling me
close. I place my hand over his shoulder blade where I can enjoy the flex of
muscles in his back as he moves. My head rests tentatively against his, and I
feel the soft tickle of his hair. He keeps me so close, his hard stomach
against me. I’m pressed against his chest, trying to control the urge to slide
my hand down to his ass. As the last verse starts, he pulls me away from him
slightly. He gazes at me, and I’m drowning in those eyes, those dark
mesmerizing eyes.

“I don’t know why it’s taken
me so long to do this,” he whispers, and then his lips are on mine. Everything
ceases to exist. My whole world is dominated by the feeling of Airen’s lips on
mine. His kiss is sweet, his lips soft as they move and shift over mine. After
a few seconds, the tip of his tongue strokes my lips, and I give in. I kiss him
back, and I finally get to taste him, to taste Airen. We deepen the kiss, exploring
each other’s mouths as he holds my face in his hands.

I slide my hand up his neck
and bury it in his soft hair, as I wrap my other arm around him and press him
to me harder. Oh, can this really be happening? Shouldn’t I be waking up by
now? My moan fills his mouth as his fingers trail across my breast and stomach
to rest on my waist. He sucks delicately on my bottom lip as we finally break
apart.

I lean my forehead against his
chest and close my eyes. He really kissed me. I kissed Airen. Beautiful, sexy,
way out of my reach Airen. He seems to know I need a minute and holds me close,
swaying to the music until I ask, “Are you drunk?”

“You know I’m not.”

We keep dancing as the next
song comes on. I’m completely speechless, and my mind is spinning. I want him
so bad. I want to grab his ass, reach under his shirt, rub my hands across his
bare chest, and kiss him until I can no longer breathe. I’m fighting to control
my urges. I know this is wrong.

“Stop,” he admonishes.

“What?”

“Over thinking this.”

I sigh. “I don’t want you to
be sorry or regret anything later.”

His hand strokes the back of
my head and moves down to rub my back. “I won’t regret anything. Why would I?”

I give him a resigned look.
“I’m not the last woman alive. It just seems that way, Airen. There will be
other survivors, beautiful women who would happily fight to the death for a
chance to be with you. I don’t want to see you settle when things won’t always
be this way.”

“Abby,” he hesitates.

“Be honest, Airen. Before the
plague if I’d passed you on the street in New York, you never would have
noticed me. I can never compete with the skinny models and beautiful actresses
you’re accustomed to dating. You’re way out of my league.”