The Last Word (13 page)

‘No chance. It’s Harry. He doesn’t do attached. He does skinny girls in club bathrooms. What the hell he’s thinking of with me, I don’t even – ’

‘Hey,’ Chandra’s voice grew serious. ‘If I have to tell you one more time how gorgeous you are I’m going to smack my head against a wall.’

‘I wasn’t – ’

‘No, but it’s your natural state of being. He’s attracted to you because you’re an attractive person. And you might want to work on your self-esteem. If he makes you feel like shit, there’s really no point, regardless of what a hottie he is.’

‘Ew, don’t say “hottie”, what are you, fourteen?’ Tabby twitched her nose.

‘That which you feel will find its own form,’ Chandra said wisely.

‘Did you just quote Kerouac?’ Tabby clapped her hands. ‘That’s amazing.’

‘Oh, erm, you said that to me last week. Thought it would be appropriate. The Beats aren’t really my thing.’

‘Sad.’

‘I know, it’s shocking we’re friends at all, isn’t it?’ Chandra grinned and pointed at the television until Tabby was forced to get up. Nothing Days. When everyone was more mellow. Tabby resolved to always pass on news on Nothing Days. Everything was much less dramatic.

***

‘Tabs, not that I’m not enjoying this teenage thing we’ve got going on, it’s very nostalgic, but – ’ Harry started, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

‘You think it’s time to leave the stationery cupboard?’ Tabby looked forlorn. The last week had involved kissing Harry. A lot. In between that, they’d been discussing articles, rewriting articles and generally celebrating the fact that the articles were a success. ‘Miss Twisted Thinks’ was bumping up the ratings at the paper, Tabby’s Twitter followers were spreading her gospel on the internet wherever they could, and kissing Harry seemed to take a lot of the tension out of being around him. In fact, Tabby was starting to worry that her wittiest comebacks were being wasted, as telling him to shut up was now simply taken as an invitation to kiss her. Not that she really minded.

‘I’m pretty sure it’s clear that I’m not looking for my lost biro down your throat.’ He kissed her cheek. ‘Time to re-emerge into the world.’

She rolled her eyes, and waited as he opened the door for her. Tabby supposed that people in the office might have noticed, but to be perfectly honest, she didn’t care. At all. And caring about what perfect strangers thought of her was something Tabby did very well usually.

‘So,’ Harry’s voice dipped, and she felt his hand on the small of her back, leading her to the office. ‘Do you think maybe we should go out into the real world?’

‘What do you mean?’

‘I mean…do you want to get dinner?’ Harry led her into the office and closed the door.

Tabby shrugged. ‘I could eat. Do we have an article to discuss?’

Harry sighed deeply and looked at the ceiling. ‘Tabby, pay attention, I’m asking you out.’

‘Oh!’ She was startled. ‘Right. Food. Um.’

Dates involved getting dressed up and seeming impressive and talking about things, and wine lists and choosing a meal that didn’t have garlic, and wearing painful heels, and then that awkward moment at the end of the night where there might be sex or there might not be…

‘You’re thinking something stupid,’ Harry said.

‘Am not! Shut up!’

Harry grinned and reached for her, pulling her towards him, arms around her waist.

‘Hey! When I say shut up, I actually mean it! I don’t mean, “Here, let me offer you something to do with your mouth other than talking!”’

‘Don’t believe you.’ He grinned against her lips.

Tabby closed her eyes and almost let herself kiss him back.

‘I can feel you smiling, Tabs, you’re going to give in.’ He kept pecking her lips until she grinned and pushed him back.

‘What was the point of leaving the cupboard if you were just going to maul me in plain sight?’

‘I’m an exhibitionist? Or I just can’t help myself. Or both.’

Damn affectionate look. He knew exactly what he was doing, stupid gorgeous man. She traced his jaw with a fingertip. And he was hers, for a little while at least.

‘OK, dinner. Nothing posh.’

‘How about I buy you a bag of chips after the school disco?’ Harry rolled his eyes. ‘We’ve been doing the teenager thing, after all.’

‘Well as long as we’re not doing the “pretentious food for extortionate prices” thing, I’m in. I like a bit of nostalgia. Kick it old school.’

‘Meaning?’

Meaning I’d rather have you come eat pizza and drink beer at my house while I’m wearing my ugly pyjamas and you don’t get the chance to see me naked, Tabby thought.

‘You’re doing it again.’

‘Stop it!’ Tabby huffed, crossing her arms. ‘Fine, Friday night. Something that involves wine and food and we can go Dutch.’

Harry raised an eyebrow, and pulled her closer. ‘Nope. Something that involves great wine and excellent food, and I’m picking you up, and dropping you home, because this is an actual proper date.’

‘I don’t think I’ve ever been on a real-life date before. Huh.’

‘Well, I am the master. Prepare to be swept off your feet, sweetheart.’ Harry grinned again. All Harry seemed to do recently was grin. And say silly things. And kiss her.

Tabby reminded herself to moan at Chandra and Rhi that she was one of those stupid women who forgot everything that’s shit about their lives as soon as a man arrives on the scene. She should probably also worry about everything going to shit as soon as it seemed too good to be true. But she really couldn’t be bothered.

Her phone buzzed in her pocket. Text message from Claudia:
Darling, will let you know if any of Liam’s friends are desperate for a date to the wedding. Remember not to eat carbs. Love you!

Tabby pursed her lips. No, there were definitely still some terrible things in her life.

‘So, on this date. Pasta, yes?’ she asked, holding up the screen to show Harry.

‘Your mother’s monstrosity wedding? When is it?’

‘A month. Though why it has to be so quick I don’t know.’

Harry’s grin became cat-like. ‘Maybe she’s pregnant!’

‘Ew! No! Shut up!’

He moved in closer.

‘Oh no, you do not simply kiss away an image like that. Punishment is in order, cruel and terrible punishment!’

‘Whatcha gonna do, Tabs?’ Harry leaned in, daring her to do something.

She smiled. ‘I’m not going to kiss you goodbye!’ She turned and walked from the office, swinging her hips with confidence, knowing he was watching her.

Of course, they had a briefing tomorrow, but he’d have to wait an entire twelve hours to see her. And she’d have to wait twelve hours to see him. She clearly did not think this through. But at least she’d get to go home and have Rhi and Chandra laugh at how happy she seemed. She might even make pizza.

Chapter Thirteen

Tabby was feeling pretty cute. She was wearing her black polka dot dress and her favourite red lipstick. She’d found her beret under her pillow and had rescued her ageing DMs from the back of her wardrobe. She felt like stomping everywhere. She was powerful. Plus, on the way to her concept meeting with Harry, she’d stopped by a new bric-a-brac shop that had opened on Carnaby Street, and found herself a messenger bag that said ‘I love Ginsberg’. London was excellent, life was awesome, and Tabitha Riley, at the age of twenty-six, was going on a proper date. After work, obviously.

Maybe she should have reconsidered the red lipstick. Not wanting to smudge it was not enough of a reason to stop her kissing Harry. She was weak, and didn’t care at all.

Except Harry didn’t seem to be in a kissing mood when she found him hunched over his desk, pinching the bridge of his nose.

‘What’s up?’ She perched on the edge of the desk. He shrugged and leaned back, not quite making eye contact with her.

‘Just…busy.’

‘Ri-ight.’ Tabby raised an eyebrow, and then followed his gaze past her to a beautiful woman talking with David in his office. They had a direct view through the door open.

‘Who’s that?’

Harry made a snorting noise.

‘She’s pretty,’ Tabby said lightly, knowing it would be the thing to set him off. She might not be the smartest person in the room but she knew people. Shockingly, she knew Harry. It was clearly an ex situation. ‘Like, super model pretty.’

‘Probably all the puppy dogs she eats for breakfast, along with the hopes and dreams of children,’ Harry huffed, looking at the woman again.

She was slim, professional-looking without being uptight. Her honey-blonde hair was pulled back in a loose ponytail and her heels were thin and high. She didn’t wobble.

‘That bad, huh?’ Tabby smiled, but Harry’s face was still stormy, staring down at his desk, resolutely not making eye contact with her.

‘Look, Tabby, I really don’t have the time or energy to explain everything to you all the time, OK? Can we get on with some work?’ Harry’s patronising tone made her want to hit him, but maybe he was hurting. And arguing with Harry never seemed to get her anywhere. Except frustrated or turned on. Or both.

Instead she rolled her eyes and tapped on his desk, in his eye line. ‘Hey, moron. Eye contact.’ He looked up, startled. ‘Thank you. Now, it’s quite clear that girl is coming in here after she’s done with Crane. So you’ve got some quick thinking to do, I get it. I’m going to help either way, and I’m not asking any questions. So don’t take it out on me, you moody git.’

Harry exhaled, seeming to suddenly deflate and when he met her eyes, again, he seemed a little more like himself. ‘Thanks, needed that.’ He stood up and picked up his jacket. ‘How about I buy you a drink down the pub to say thank you?’ He looked at her unimpressed expression. ‘And to say sorry, obviously.’

Tabby shrugged and picked up her bag.

Harry grinned. ‘Literary accessories, of course. New bag?’

‘Uh, duh.’ Tabby grinned, and then watched as the beautiful girl looked over at them exiting Harry’s office. ‘Try not to look surprised, OK?’ she said quietly, and took his hand.

To his credit, Harry didn’t. He just squeezed her hand, and said, ‘An entire bottle of wine for you, lovely. And as much chocolate as you can fit into that smart mouth of yours.’

Tabby grinned and tried her best not to shine in the light of his affection. And when they started talking about literary jewellery and reached the lift. Tabby realised they hadn’t looked back at the girl in the office, to see what effect they’d had. They were too busy laughing.

‘So?’ Tabby started, when they were settled at their table in The Black Cat, a bottle of red and a weary plate of nachos between them.

‘Please, angel face, let a guy get plastered before he has to talk about his feelings and stuff, yeah? Didn’t you write for Cosmo?’

Tabby raised an eyebrow. ‘Yes, it was yet another article on how to impress men in bed. Except it was focused on stuff you didn’t actually have to expend any effort on, like “be alive” and “be female” and “try not to choke on your own spit”. I’m a right expert.’

‘All right, jeez, Tabs, give me a break, it’s…complicated.’

Tabby just sat there. ‘So this is the game changer who made you lose yourself?’

‘Jenna.’

‘Jenna, right. So…?’

There was a long pause where Harry seemed to gather his thoughts, and Tabby was slightly worried she was drinking her wine too quickly in order to do something. Harry automatically reached to refill her glass. She put her hand over the top of it. ‘Talk.’

He frowned, as if he wasn’t sure where to begin, and her fingers longed to stroke his face and smooth away the sadness.

‘OK, so typical story, really. Boy meets girl who’s way out of his league, and falls madly in love. Girl knows boy is mad, and uses it to sleep around and do whatever and whomever she likes. Boy is so pathetic, so bloody pathetic,’ Harry paused and closed his eyes, breathing deeply, ‘that he doesn’t tell her to fuck off. He doesn’t even confront her about the cheating.’

Tabby winced and put her hand on top of his. ‘What does he do?’

‘He proposes! Hoping, desperately hoping that a big shiny ring will stop her stomping all over his heart.’ He avoided her eyes, tapped the base of his wine glass, swirling the liquid around thoughtfully.

‘And did it?’

‘For a while. Making wedding plans really eats into a girl’s whoring time.’

Harry paused again, and this time Tabby didn’t force him to continue. He just stared into the wine glass, while her hand rested in his.

‘Ever notice I don’t seem to have any friends?’ he said thoughtfully.

Tabby went to disagree.

‘No, not really. It started with Jenna. Some of them got angry that I was being taken for a ride. Some of them took a ride themselves. My best mate was the last straw. As far as I know, they’re still together.’

‘Explains why you’re such a fan of keeping things casual,’ Tabby said. ‘Any idea why she’d be talking to Crane?’

‘He’s her uncle. That’s how I got this job in the first place. There you have it, not the Cambridge degree or the smart writing, just a pity job from my would-have-been uncle-in-law.’ Harry seemed to deflate once again.

‘Well, that and the fact that you’re the biggest pain-in-the-arse-editor ever and you fit into this pompous new media stylish world of expensive wine and overpriced cars,’ Tabby said good-naturedly, and grinned when Harry poked her.

‘You know what the answer to this is, though, right?’

Harry looked directly into her eyes, both intrigued and somehow alarmed.

‘We get absolutely shitfaced, then we eat dodgy Chinese food, watch absolutely terrible TV and pass out.’

Harry smiled. Not his usual blinding smile, but it was halfway there.

‘I pour my heart out to you, and this is what I get? You offer me booze.’ He laughed. ‘I may love you.’

‘You won’t say that when you’re blaming me for your hangover tomorrow!’ she sang, glad the pub was too dark for the blush on her cheeks to show. She stood up. ‘Another bottle, then?’

He grabbed her hand. ‘Thanks Tabs, really.’

‘What else are friends for?’ She replied.

Oh, I don’t know, meaningless drunken sex where you can both pass it off as a big drunken mistake and it won’t be embarrassing? Her brain was a bitch. And yet, the idea of a plastered Harry trying it on with her did not seem unappealing. Oh God, she wanted to take advantage of him! Here was her friend (who OK, yes, she kissed sometimes) trusting her with something he’d probably never told anyone, and she was calculating how to use it to get into his pants. She was a vile human being, she thought, and paid an extra fiver for a nicer bottle of wine to make up for it. If she had no soul, she might as well buy good wine.