The Lawman's Nanny Op (16 page)

“We dated, we broke up, end of story.” He shrugged as if to dismiss the issue, but there was something raw and unbridled in his voice that let her know there was far more to the story.

“She hurt you,” Portia said softly. His jaw tensed as his mouth compressed into a thin slash. “You must have loved her very much,” Portia added.

A burst of laughter left him, the sound bitter and harsh. “I’m not sure love had anything to do with it.” He sighed and moved away from the window at the same time thunder rumbled once again.

He sat in the chair opposite the sofa and gazed at her for a long moment as if deciding whether to say more or not.

“It was nothing but lust that Laura and I initially shared,” he finally said. “She told me she wasn’t looking for anything permanent and neither was I, so we started dating with no expectations of it going any further than that.”

He paused and broke his eye contact with her, instead focusing on the wall over the sofa as the room darkened with the storm overhead. “We’d been dating about four months when she came to me and told me she was pregnant. We’d gotten careless one night and apparently it hadn’t been without consequence.”

Portia’s heart twisted in her chest. Laura had been pregnant? Did Caleb have a son someplace? Maybe a daughter whom Laura had taken away from him? Certainly that would explain the anger Caleb seemed to carry.

“Even though I didn’t love Laura, I cared about her and I thought love would come so I asked her to marry me. The idea of being a father blew me away. I wanted that more than anything I’ve ever wanted in my life.” His hands clenched into fists at his sides. “I had it all figured out. I knew I’d be an awesome dad and I could make myself be a good husband.”

“So you and Laura got engaged,” Portia said.

He nodded. “And as we planned the wedding I committed myself and my heart to Laura and the baby. It was going to be a quick, simple wedding. I wanted it to happen before the baby arrived. Family has always been important to me and I was determined that we’d be a happy family. The wedding was all set for a Sunday afternoon a month away when she came to me and told me she couldn’t go through with it.”

A flash of lightning lit the room, followed closely by a thunderclap that shook the windows in their frames. Portia jumped but stayed focused on Caleb, whose features were tortured by incredible pain.

“She left and you don’t know where your child is?” Portia asked, guessing that’s what had happened.

Again that bitter laughter burst from him, shooting an arrow of sympathy for him through her heart. “No. I wish that’s what had happened. She not only didn’t want to marry me. She didn’t want to have my baby. She aborted it without telling me.”

“Oh.” The single word leaped to Portia’s lips as tears blurred her vision. She couldn’t stay on the sofa with him across the room, his heartache so big it filled the entire house.

As she got up and walked toward him, her tears spilled down her cheeks. His grief burned hot and painful in her throat as he stood, his body vibrating with emotion.

She wrapped her arms around his neck, vaguely surprised when he didn’t push her away but rather gathered her close to him.

As she began to cry harder he held her by her shoulders and looked at her. “Why are you crying?” he asked.

“For you, Caleb. I’m crying for what you lost and because I wish it would have been me who was carrying your baby. I’m crying because I would have cherished your child.”

He pulled her against him once again and outside the storm unleashed itself, pelting rain against the windows as they grieved for what might have been.

Chapter 11

H
e had to get her out of his house, Caleb thought three days later as he stood at the kitchen window to drink his morning coffee. Portia was still asleep and he relished this moment that held no tension.

Every since he’d told Portia about Laura’s betrayal he’d felt vulnerable and had compensated by keeping his distance, which had created a nearly impossible, uncomfortable tension between himself and Portia.

For the past three days they had been in a wait-and-see pattern, waiting for Dale or whoever was after Portia to make his next move, wondering if and when another attack might come.

It was time to take the game to the next level. He knew the person who wanted to harm her was just waiting for the right opportunity to strike, and tonight Caleb intended to present that opportunity.

It was a dangerous gamble, but he couldn’t allow things to go on as they had any longer. She’d touched him too deeply with her tears for him. She’d floored him with her statement that she’d wished she’d been pregnant with his child. She was getting beneath his defenses and he couldn’t allow that to happen.

It was time for action, but the risk he was going to take made him feel slightly sick to his stomach. If anything went wrong, if anything happened to Portia, he didn’t know how he would ever be able to live with himself.

“Good morning.”

He whirled around from the window at the sound of her voice. “Good morning,” he replied. “Coffee’s made.”

She was already dressed for the day in a turquoise sundress that made her eyes more blue than green. She poured herself a cup of coffee and sat at the table. “I think it’s time I find another place to stay,” she said.

He looked at her in surprise. “And where would that be? Who could keep you as safe as me?”

“I don’t know, but we can’t go on like this. I can’t handle the tension anymore. Besides, I can’t stay here forever and it doesn’t look like anything is going to happen while I’m here.”

“I know, and that’s why I think it’s time to up the stakes.” He joined her at the table and his heart beat just a little bit faster as he thought of the plan he’d spent half the night going over in his mind.

“Up the stakes how?” She curled her fingers around her coffee cup, as if his words had created a chill she needed to banish.

“I think probably our potential killer has been watching the house. By now everyone in town knows you’re staying here, so he knows that, as well. My car has been parked in front the whole time so he knows I’ve been with you every minute of the day and night. I think whoever is after you is nearby. It’s just my gut instinct, but my gut is rarely wrong,” Caleb said.

“So, what’s your plan?” she asked.

She was so beautiful with the morning light splashing on her features, and a new fear clutched his guts as he leaned back in the chair and eyed her intently.

“After dark tonight I’m going to drive away. Benjamin will sneak into the backyard and hide. He can move like a shadow in the dark and hopefully the perp won’t see him taking his place. I’ll park and come back to hide in the front yard. We’ll keep the house under surveillance and see if Dale or whoever shows up, and if he does we’ll have him arrested before he can do anything to hurt you.”

“What if he isn’t watching the house tonight?” she asked.

“Then we’ll do the same thing tomorrow night and the night after that. Eventually he’ll be here to see my car gone and he’ll assume that you’re here by yourself.”

“And if this doesn’t work? What if he’s too smart to take the bait?” she asked.

“Then we come up with another plan.” He leaned forward. “But I think he hates you more than he has sense.”

“Gosh, that makes me feel warm and fuzzy,” she said dryly.

“Portia, we won’t go through with this if you don’t want to. I want you to understand that with any plan there’s risk, but I believe the risk in this case is minimal.” God, at least he hoped the risk was minimal. He’d worked and reworked it around in his head, afraid to go through with it and yet afraid not to try.

She frowned thoughtfully and turned her head to gaze out the window. “I’m so tired of being afraid. I’m tired of my life being on hold.” She raised her chin and looked at him once again. “Let’s do it. I want this ended and if that can happen tonight, then let’s get it over and done.”

He nodded and hoped that he wasn’t making a mistake. They ate a silent breakfast, each lost in their own thoughts, and then Caleb took the phone back to his bedroom and called Benjamin to set up the plans for the night.

The afternoon stretched into evening with first Portia pacing the living room and then Caleb restlessly walking from room to room.

At six-thirty they sat down to a dinner of baked chicken and rice that Portia had prepared. Although Caleb’s stomach was twisted into too many knots for him to feel hungry, he forced himself to eat.

Portia picked at the food on her plate, as if she had no appetite, as well. He wished he could tell her that everything was going to be all right, that by this time tomorrow night she’d be back home with her world once again as it should be, but he couldn’t.

He had no idea what the night might bring. It was possible that whoever was after her wouldn’t show up, wouldn’t take the bait. Caleb would give it three nights and if nothing happened then maybe it was time they considered other arrangements for Portia.

If she continued to stay in his house he was afraid they’d make love again, he was terrified that he’d forget his own commitment to remain alone. Ultimately he was afraid that he’d be hurt again and he couldn’t allow that to happen.

She released a sigh and shoved her plate away. “I can’t eat. I have too many things on my mind.”

He didn’t ask her what things, afraid of what she might say. Since the night they’d made love he’d felt emotions coming off her that he didn’t want to feel, knew that it was possible she had fallen for him again.

“Caleb, whatever happens tonight I want you to know that I’m thankful for everything you’ve done for me,” she said.

“You can thank me after we have our bad guy behind bars,” he replied.

“I’m almost grateful we had this time together. We needed a healing between us.” Her eyes shone bright as she gazed at him. “I hope there has been a healing, that you forgive me for being young and foolish and easily influenced years ago.”

A lump crawled into the back of his throat. “It was a long time ago, Portia.” He pushed his plate to the side and thought about how devastated, how angry he’d been when she’d cast him out of her life.

He tried to summon that anger now, to use it as a shield against her, but no matter how hard he tried he couldn’t get it back. All he felt was a profound sadness and the acceptance that it had never been in the cards that they would be together.

“I don’t hold a grudge,” he finally said. “I always knew how your mother was and that she had to have influenced your decision to break up with me.”

“I can’t put all the blame on my mother,” she replied. “I should have trusted my heart where you were concerned instead of letting other people get inside my head.”

“And maybe I should have fought harder to make you believe me,” he replied. “I’m glad we talked about it, but it’s just a part of my past now.” These last words were said as a reminder to her and to himself that she had no place in his future.

She got up from the table and carried her plate to the sink and then she turned back to face him. “I’m going to go get my things packed up. If this goes the way we want it to, then I’ll be ready to go back home immediately.” She hesitated a moment, as if waiting for him to say something, but he merely nodded and she left the kitchen.

He stared out the window where the first edges of dusk were beginning to appear. The shadows at the base of the trees deepened with each passing moment and his heartbeat stirred a little faster as he realized it would soon be time to put his plan into action.

He grabbed his cell phone from his pocket and called Benjamin to double-check things. When he ended the call he once again looked out the window. There were plenty of places for Benjamin to hide in the backyard and still keep an eye on the house. The same was true of the front yard.

There was a full moon that night and the sky had been cloudless all day. The moonlight would aid them but make it more difficult for them to stay hidden to whoever might approach the house. But he was confident they would manage to cling to the shadows and stay out of sight.

It was a remarkably easy plan and no matter how Caleb twisted and turned it he couldn’t find any weaknesses that might lead to disaster. If somebody wanted to harm Portia tonight there was no question in his mind that either he or Benjamin could take him down before he even got close to her.

By eight-thirty, dusk had begun to transform to darkness. Caleb stood at the window and Brittany filled his mind.

An aching emptiness seeped into him at thoughts of his missing sister. Caleb and his brothers and the rest of the town of Black Rock had done everything they could to find her. The case had gone cold and the Grayson men were left wondering what they might have missed, what they could have done differently.

Knots of tension formed in the pit of his stomach. At the moment he felt as if they had already lost Brittany. He couldn’t lose Portia, as well. He was aware that this plan had risks, but he believed they were minimal. Dammit, it had to work. It had to flush out the bad guy and give Portia back her life. And then he could get back to his own life, whatever it might be.

Darkness had fallen completely when he sensed Portia behind him. “It’s almost time, isn’t it?” she asked.

He turned to look at her. “Changed your mind?”

“No, I’m just ready to get this night over with. I want this person in jail and if taking a chance like this accomplishes it, then let’s get on with it.”

He fought the impulse to pull her against him, to whisk her back into the bedroom and make love to her one last time. Instead he looked at his watch. “I’m going to move the car down the street about a block. Benjamin should be in position in the backyard by now. I’ll park the car and then double back here. Benjamin will watch the back of the house and I’ll watch the front and hopefully with my car gone, our perp will believe you’re here all alone.”

“Okay,” she said, her voice reedy with nerves. Her eyes were huge and her lower lip trembled with anxiety.

“Don’t be afraid,” he said.

She offered him a forced, brave smile. “What makes you think I’m afraid?”