The Learning Curve (57 page)

But gradually her positive mood disappeared as an increasingly familiar tension started to take its hold again. She wasn’t quite sure what she was most tense about: Finding a convincing excuse with which to withdraw her application; telling Mark how hurt she was that he’d confided in Amanda and not her – thus betraying Amanda and revealing the depth of her own feelings for him; or being asked to dance by Ned and being murdered by his wife in a jealous rage.

The trestle tables were filling up nicely now as nearly all the children had arrived and taken their positions by the chocolate. There would be chocolate-rage fights within the hour. There was little variety in the choice of disco-wear; the girls all looked like street prostitutes, the boys like rappers.

Nicky spotted Daisy and looked for Oscar while desperately hoping she wouldn’t find Mark before he found her. She found Lilith instead, standing in the doorway,
staring at the DJ in undisguised disbelief. Nicky approached her and they greeted each other warmly.

‘Tell me,’ said Lilith, crossing her arms. ‘Is he being ironic?’

Nicky focussed. ‘It’s difficult to tell,’ she mused.

‘Mm.’ They watched him for a bit longer. As the ‘Birdie Song’ started and a secret smile played on his face, Lilith’s eyes lit up.

‘Yes! He’s being ironic!’ she cried. ‘I have to get me some of that.’ And she was gone. Nicky watched his eyes warm as he leant over the mixing desk to hear Lilith’s request.

The volume increased, The Boomtown Rats came on and some of the kids even started dancing. Two had already started energetic snogging. When Miss James approached Nicky, dancing to ‘I Don’t Like Mondays’ and popping Maltesers, Nicky decided now was her moment.

‘Could we have a word?’ she shouted in Miss James’s ear.

‘I know!’ laughed Miss James. ‘Isn’t it?’ She executed a slow twirl. Then she gave Nicky a wink and pulled her to the edge of the hall where they could actually hear each other.

‘No need to tell the others,’ she confided, pulling out a hip flask from her bra and offering it to her. Gratefully Nicky accepted. It was neat vodka. Miss James gave her a wink. ‘A bit like a Fisherman’s Friend, only for headmistresses,’ she said.

‘Um, yes,’ said Nicky, when her voice returned. ‘About that. I need to have a word.’

‘Aha!’ cried Miss James, looking past her. Nicky followed her gaze and found herself looking at Mark. He was as pleasing on the eye as he was a shock to her system. In fact, the two were probably linked. She greeted him as coolly as
she could, which meant her body heat shot up through the ceiling. He greeted her just as coolly. She saw Oscar hanging back behind him, watching her. Mark started to move away and she beckoned to Oscar. But Miss James reached forward and took Mark firmly by the arm.

‘Mark!’ she cried. ‘Ah, Mark! Mark, Mark, Mark.’ She shook her head and sighed. ‘Ah! Mark.’ Then she turned to Nicky. ‘He’s leaving us, you know.’ She turned back to Mark. ‘I know, I know! I told you not to tell anyone, and now here I am, blabbing away like a schoolchild. But . . . ah, dear me.
Mark
.’

Mark turned to Nicky and they looked at each other. Nicky didn’t know what expression to pull, so she didn’t pull one at all.

‘I was going to tell you,’ he said. ‘But I wasn’t allowed to.’

She nodded evenly. ‘It’s all right,’ she said. ‘I knew already.’

He frowned. ‘How?’

‘Ah, dear me!’ cried Miss James. ‘Marcus, Marcus, Marcus!’ She turned to Nicky and sighed. ‘Don’t you think?’ she said.

Nicky nodded. ‘Yes,’ she said. ‘I do a bit.’

‘How did you know?’ repeated Mark.

She looked at him. ‘Things get round. Girls talk.’ Before he could respond, she turned and walked away, grateful she wasn’t wearing high heels because each step was hard to take.

Suddenly she felt herself being bodily swept to the side of the hall.

‘Who told you?’ Mark whispered in her ear. ‘It wasn’t that bitch, Amanda, was it?’

She tried to move away, but he wasn’t letting her. His grip on her arm was firm.

‘How can you call her a bitch?’ she said crossly, moving her arm away. ‘Do you mind? People will see.’

‘So what?’ he said urgently. ‘Miss James is leaving. She doesn’t care. I’m leaving, so I’m no longer the bursar. And in two days’ time, Oscar’s not one of your pupils. So what are you running away from?’

They stared at each other.

‘You,’ she said simply.

It seemed to do the job. He stepped back.

‘Right,’ his voice was all quiet. ‘I see. Well, don’t worry. I’m not going to beg. I won’t come in again this term. I’ve only got to pack up my things and I’ll do that in the holidays. We only came to see you, so we’ll be going.’

Nicky kept her eyes down.

‘Good luck with everything,’ he said.

‘Hello there,’ cut in Rob, suddenly next to Nicky. ‘Hope I’m not interrupting anything too important –’

‘No, not really,’ said Mark. ‘I was just going.’

‘No! Don’t go,’ said Nicky desperately. Mark stopped. ‘I – I want to dance with Oscar.’

‘Well, I very much doubt he’ll want to dance with you,’ said Mark.

‘Well, you haven’t got time anyway, Nicky,’ said Rob urgently. ‘I think you’d better do it before she’s too far gone.’ He nodded in the direction of Miss James who was now shimmying down a wall.

‘Do what?’ started Mark. He stared at Nicky.

‘I’m withdrawing,’ she said simply. ‘Turns out I wasn’t the best man for the job after all.’

The look he gave her hurt her more than she could have imagined. It told her that she was not the woman he’d
thought she was. Worse, it told her that even though he was leaving the school, he still desperately wanted her to be the next Head because he believed in her. He’d been genuine all along. And yet he wanted to stay in touch with Amanda.

Thankfully, Rob guided her gently away, towards Miss James, while Mark went to get his and Oscar’s coats.

Rob and Nicky found Miss James standing on the edge of the dance hall, watching Amanda dancing in the middle of it.

‘Isn’t she a clever mover?’ she said, as they approached. ‘Irresistible, I’d say.’

‘Miss James,’ said Nicky. ‘I – I need to talk to you.’

‘Yes, my dear,’ she said. She turned to Rob. ‘Oh hello, Rob. Do stay, charming boy.’

‘Thank you, Miss James.’

‘Not at all.’ She turned back to Nicky. ‘What can I do for you, my dear?’

‘I want to talk about my application for the headship.’

Miss James’s smile vanished.

‘I – I . . .’ Nicky went on before coming to a halting stop. Rob pinched her arm. ‘I – I . . . don’t think . . . I should . . . I need to withdraw . . .’

Miss James stared at her. Then she looked at Rob. ‘Gosh! This is all rather . . . puzzling, isn’t it?’ she said. Then she smiled at him sweetly. ‘But you seem to be so good at puzzles, perhaps you’ll be able to make it out.’ He was momentarily unable to answer. Suddenly Miss James clapped her hands.

‘Ooh! That reminds me!’ she cried. ‘I’ve got a speech to make.’ She squeezed both their arms. ‘Don’t go away.’

They watched her as she ran up the stairs on to the stage.

‘What happened there?’ asked Rob, his hand squeezing her arm tightly.

She leant against the wall and watched Mark and Oscar leave, feeling as if her soul was wandering indifferently away. They didn’t even cast a glance back as they opened the hall door and started the long walk down the path. The door stayed open and a gentle summer breeze wafted in.

Meanwhile, Miss James popped behind the curtains and returned to the front of the stage with her trusty satchel under one arm and a microphone in her hand. As if on cue, the lights went up and the disco stopped. The room burst into hysterical, E-number-fuelled applause. Nicky stared out of the open hall door, watching the last shadows of Mark and Oscar walk down the path outside, further and further away from her life. Oscar kept looking back, but Mark put his arm round the boy’s shoulder and he fell in step with his dad. How could something so slight hurt so much? She made to follow, but two things happened. Amanda walked across the hall and leant laconically in the open doorway, a hair-flicking, smiling sentry. And Rob forcibly stopped Nicky from moving by tightening his grip on her arm.

‘You’ll see him at school,’ he whispered. ‘This is important.’

‘One two three,’ echoed Miss James’s voice round the hall, tapping the microphone with her finger. ‘One two three. One two three, one two three, one two three. HELLO, EVERYBODY!’

The room cheered.

‘I thought tonight was an appropriate time to announce my successor.’

The room fell silent. You could have cut the tension with a plastic palette knife.

‘But first,’ said Miss James, ‘I have a rather special essay to read.’

To the murmur of the crowd, she put the microphone on the floor and bent down to fish inside her bag. She pulled out an essay, picked up the microphone and, standing up, put her glasses on the tip of her nose.

‘
Why I Shouldn’t Hide In Someone Else’s Room
,’ she read out, ‘
by Oscar Samuels
.’

There was a gentle murmur as everyone tried to find Oscar. Nicky’s thoughts were fast and simple. She was going to die. Her body went into flight-or-shite mode. She searched frantically for Lilith, hoping that Lilith might run out and catch Oscar before he’d left. But Lilith was too busy looking into the eyes of the DJ, who now had time to look properly back into hers. Where was Daisy? Daisy was gorging on chocolate. She tried to run after Oscar, but Rob pushed her back against the wall, hitting her head against it, and hissed, ‘Don’t even think it,’ into her face. She’d have fainted, but Rob probably wouldn’t have let her.

Outside, in the soft summer dusk, Oscar started to cry. Mark squeezed his shoulder but felt too depressed to be able to help him. Every step felt like another mile away from her. Why didn’t she want him? Was her career so much more important to her than he was? He was about to blame her for this before he realised that only recently his own career had stood in the way of everything. How could he blame her for doing what he had done for so long? And yet, the pain.

‘Do you know anything about this?’ Rob hissed at Nicky as Miss James began to read Oscar’s essay.

‘No,’ hissed Nicky back. ‘You might be in luck. He might withdraw my application for me. He may even ruin my entire career.’

Rob’s face showed something between impatience and anger. ‘Well then,’ he said. ‘Let’s just wait and see.’

‘
I am in detention
,’ (read out Miss James), ‘
as punishment for spying on my teachers. But I do not need punishment. I’ve already had my punishment. I have learnt things about adults, about injustice and about love that they don’t teach you in school. Things I never wanted to know: There aren’t always happy endings. Adults are not all good. The baddies do sometimes win. Lying does get you what you want. And true love doesn’t make everything all right.

To be more specific, this is what I learnt on my school trip at Heatheringdown Primary.
’

Nicky was dumbstruck. Was she about to watch her life swirl down the plughole? What would Oscar have written about the kiss?

‘
One:
’ (Miss James continued), ‘
Mr Pattison is having a secret affair with Miss Taylor
.’

Nicky’s entire body did a swooping jump in the air without physically moving. The room gasped. While Miss James paused dramatically, Nicky felt Rob’s body stiffen beside her. His fingers burrowed deeper into her arm. She blinked a few times.

‘
Two: Mr Pattison proposed to Miss Hobbs and then when my father accused him of lying about his affair with Miss Taylor, lied again, saying that he wasn’t and then calling my father a liar.
’

Nicky tilted her head. Eh? How many liars were there again? Rob started swearing under his breath.

‘
Three: Miss Hobbs likes Mr Pattison, even though we have called him “Slimy Sir” since Year 3. Daisy says Miss Hobbs likes him
because although he is slimy with her she doesn’t notice because he is very good-looking, if you like that sort of thing. Daisy’s mum says that Mr Pattison is harmless to look at but poisonous to touch. A bit like a jellyfish.
’

The room found this hilarious. Daisy started jumping up and down with excitement. She ran across the hall to her mum and they hugged as they continued to listen, with matching smiles on their faces.

‘
Four: Mr Pattison admitted to Miss Hobbs that he is the puzzle cheat.
’

The entire room gasped as one. Even the DJ gasped. Then there was uproar. Miss James had to pause before she could continue.

‘
He told her that because she
didn’t
cheat at the puzzle every morning, she’d never be a good headmistress. This means because of him we are all having an extra half-day at the end of our school year.
’

Angry shouts started to fill the hall and they didn’t notice Miss James swallow hard before continuing.

‘
Five: Mr Pattison thinks Miss James is
–’ (she paused) ‘–
“mental”
.’

More uproar. Shouts of ‘Shame!’ Miss James smiled at her crowd and fought back the tears.

‘
Six: Mr Pattison uses the F-word even more than Year 5
.’

‘
Seven: Miss Taylor, who is having a secret affair with Mr Pattison (See Point One), eavesdropped on a private conversation between me and my dad about him leaving his job. Then she forced my dad to tell her about it, even though he had not even told Miss Hobbs yet (and he’s in love with her) because he had been told not to by Miss James.
’

Nicky gasped and pulled her arm away from Rob. As if he’d come out of a trance, he ran to the steps beside the
stage. By the time he’d reached them, the first sausage flew through the air, hitting him squarely on the head. He never made it up to the stage. It was amazing what children could sacrifice when sacrifice was needed. Chocolates, crisps, Cheesy Wotsits, lemonade bottles and even two full cartons of orange juice.

Mark and Oscar reached G for Gnu.

‘Would you like some chocolate when we get home?’ asked Mark.