The Lebrus Stone (41 page)

"Why? Why is this all happening?" I cried, feeling tired from trying to be hopeful, tired of searching for hope.

"He coughed into his hand, spewing a black substance from his chattering teeth. It didn't relent and he continued to splutter into both hands. He stood and faced the wall, enduring a fit of coughs.

When he fell into a heap on the floor, he gasped for breath.

His mouth opened, but he couldn't inhale; further fluid, now tinged green, spilled from his mouth.

I crawled out of bed, ignoring the stabbing pain in my abdomen. "Cray?" Clumps of his hair fell into my hands as I tried to keep him still. "Somebody help," I yelled, "Jess!"

A few of his nails fell from his ragged fingers, yet they stayed curled around my waist. His eyes turned completely white.

He searched frantically for my face.

"I'm here, Cray. It's alright. I'm not leaving you."

He coughed into my chest and covered me with the vaporless excretions from his peeling mouth, moving in sudden jerks that hit me with wild blows. But I didn't let go, no matter how much it hurt.

The coughing subsided and he lay back, peacefully in a half dead sleep.

I looked to the door, but no one came, no one cared. I don't know why I was surprised.

Cray opened his eyes and he looked right through me.

"You're not bringing me back so you can just to leave me, Cray. I won't let you."

He chuckled between short gasps, like someone past the age of living.

"I could be about to croak and you're threatening me." He smirked.

"You're not getting out of this that easily." I managed to smile back. "You're all I have left."

Thoughts of Jared broke my heart into a million pieces. I tried not to cry and show Cray I had been thinking about giving up.

He closed his eyes. His breath caught into a whisper, "You should have told me about Sinclair and…him." The crinkles on his forehead deepened as he shook his head. He coughed out more black.

"I hadn't told anyone. I didn't want to."

I didn't want to have this conversation. Shame made it difficult.

Cray continued to cough. Silence grew until he turned to vomit into a bundle of clothes.

I rubbed his back, trying to bring comfort.

"I can't protect you from all these monsters," he struggled to say. "Myself included. I deserve everything I have coming to me." He choked on more bile.

"What use will you be to me like this?"

I was angered at his lack of self-worth. "Feed from me, Cray. Just do it. I need you. You can't just run away from this and neither can I."

He wiped his mouth. His eyes had sagged into his hollow cheeks. I was afraid he was going to disappear. "I…I didn't mean to…burden you with this. It could never have been the way we wanted it. How it should have been between us."

"We could find a way through this if you let yourself get better."

He shook his head. Leaning forward, he clenched it between his knees like he didn't want to hear what I had to say.

"It makes no difference," he muttered.

"It will if you stay with me. Or did you really want Kellice?"

"Do I need to answer to that?" He snickered, somehow still finding things amusing.

I smirked, despite the nightmare we were going through. "I guess not. You're a good actor."

He smiled and winced. "They won't stop until they have the baby, Crys. I don't think I can stop them."

"I will think of a way to put a stop to all this. Just feed from me and help."

He peered up from between his narrow legs. His jeans were baggy, his eyes were still glazed white. "I hope you win this, Crys."

The door crashed open and in stomped Gal and Clias, followed by Jess.

Gal and Clias grabbed Cray and carried him out of the room. He had fallen into their arms, slipping into a possible permanent sleep.

Jess tried to drag me back onto the bed, but I stayed where I was. My limbs were numb with pins and needles.

"Crys, you need to rest. You're recovering." Jess made another attempt to move me.

This time I allowed her to pull me to the bed, if only to get some peace.

I was tucked in under the wrecked duvet. She tsked and mumbled at its condition, and then moved toward the closet, returning with a clean, new duvet to replace the old one.

At the same time, I was gripped with a shooting pain to my chest. A full on panic attack ensued.

"Here, drink this." She held a tiny purple bottle to my lips. I drank its contents without a care for what was inside.

The coolness of the liquid travelled to the exact point of attack, coating the rest of me in a tickling warmth.

"What was that?" I gasped.

"A potion. It's been healing you. It's also been helping you stay pain free since Gundulla… stabbed you. She's decided to keep you alive to see if you can still open the gates to Shimmarian."

I begged for more of it.

"It's for emergencies only." She tapped the pointed silver lid.

My duvet was tucked in even tighter so that I felt sealed in.

"How long was I unconscious?" I asked, all woozy.

"Five days."

"
Five days?"

"Uh-huh, lots happened since Gundulla went berserk."

I had a recollection of my own "Where were they taking Cray?"

"They'll just be putting him to rest."

"What?" I tried to sit up as far as I could, only Jess pushed me down.

"To sleep in his bed," she corrected with a tight smile. "He's not what you'd call…well." She toyed with her sleeve.

I found her hand and squeezed it.

"I need to heal him, Jess. Why isn't Clias letting me?" I squeezed harder, releasing when she winced.

"You've gone got your strength back, I see." Her gaze wandered the room.

Fresh tears had me preparing for the worst. I was hanging on by a thread.

Jess' eyes welled with tears. "It's against orders to take you to him."

"Whose orders?"

"Gundulla's, who else? He wasn't supposed be here when you woke up, but he was determined to be."

"Well, if he broke the rules once, so can I."

"It ain't that simple."

"I need to see him and I will."

She grabbed my arm.

"Ow! Jess. Let me go." I pushed her, but she wouldn't give in. "If you're not going to tell me, I want to hear it from him."

"There's nothing much to tell. Nothing that will change anything, anyhow."

"Don't do this, Jess. Don't keep me from him."

"I don't want to."

"Then why are you holding me back?"

"Because you make it worse."

I stopped moving. Her head lowered, yet she still kept hold of my wrists.

"Fine. Just go away," I said. "Leave me alone."

I sunk into my bed and struggled to pull the duvet over my head, then curled into a ball as I wept. I was losing Cray and everything connected to the instance we met. Maybe our meeting had been long before adulthood if he really was my cousin; way before we knew our place in the world. If I ever lived to survive, he could become a distant memory.

I could eventually forget his voice.

Jess's hand pressed to my back. "There is one way," she whispered.

I crept one eye out from under the duvet, waiting for a miraculous change in events.

"You could save him," she said, peering at the door. "But like I said. It ain't that simple."

"Why not? I feed him and he gets to be his strongest, live. I'm ready."

"That's all fine n all. It's the other part that isn't so much." She leaned closer till our noses almost touched.

"What part is that?"

"The part where you have to get to him first," she still whispered.

"That's easy, just sneak me to his room."

"But he ain't in his room."

I frowned.

Where else would he be?

"He's somewhere else." She looked to the door. When she looked back, she was perspiring. "He's with the Dia'ac."

I recalled the name from the coven meetings. I knew they were a clan of Sha'lacs. But before now I hadn't been that interested to learn more about them.

From the seriousness of her morbid expression, it was obviously a dangerous place to be, especially where I was concerned. But I wasn't. I only wanted a way to get there, break in, save Cray, and myself the misery.

"You must know they're a legion of Sha'lacs that have gone and created a secret hiding place on this realm," she said. "It can only be seen by members of the coven, and maybe…you."

"That's just great. I have to face a bunch of soul sucking creatures."

She nodded. "I did warn you."

Hours passed excruciatingly slowly.

If I waited any longer, I could be too late, over the limit.

My blood had to be given to Cray. I had to bring him to life and back to where he belonged. Whether it was with Kellice or me or with somebody else, it didn't matter. His health was the priority.

In my bed, it was unavoidable not to think, imagine, and see things as they really were, or as they could be, at how I could make a difference. My imagination ran wild with alternative endings. The kind where the selfishness of a woman jilted and the people who shared her greatest power were outdone and buried far beneath the ground, finally dead amongst the many that passed long before them.

So many women lost their youth unnecessarily to gift their worthless needs for revenge, to give them something they didn't deserve or want for a good deed or purpose.

It was up to me to stop them at their prime, bring those dead to peace with justice, starting with Arrious. She didn't want me to jump off the cliff. I knew that now. She wanted me to be as brave as she couldn't be. To not falter as she did. She wanted me to try, even if it came close to undoing me.

Maybe love could conquer all if I could finally believe in it, make it my sole mission to achieve. However tiresome the battle, I couldn't give in to being nothing, no one, and neglected.

And if a world of Fallions was real and I was the key to saving their world, I couldn't let enemies in. I would hate to be remembered as the one who did; the one who let so many down when she could have tried harder.

My quest wasn't just for these apparent beings I may never come to believe in with every breadth of my soul. It was for Jared. Losing him was hard for me to accept. But it would be even more difficult to disappoint him.

I had to show everyone I wasn't a coward.

~ * ~

Two days passed and I was still no closer to Cray or the members of the Dia'ac.

Jess didn't visit me often, which she assured me wasn't her choice but Gundulla's. She understandably didn't trust us together. As it were, we were plotting and scheming during every opportunity we had to talk privately. Even if they were mainly quick whispers in my dark and gloomy room.

Once I was able to get out of bed, I accepted my daily walks. Any reason to leave my hell hole was to be celebrated. Although Judith never joined me in my persevering good mood. She was crazier than I first thought. Living a hundred or so years probably did that to a person. In a nutshell, she was sick; sick of living and sick of the pretense.

I couldn't help but pity her for that, even if it was her fault.

~ * ~

"I've figured out a plan," I whispered in the dark compress of my room.

"For what?" Jess asked.

Sometimes I wondered if she was ever listening.

"To get out."

"Oh." She didn't sound excited by the prospect. Neither did I.

"I don't know why I didn't think of it sooner."

Jess nodded, disinterested.

"I need you to get me two things," I continued, regardless.

"Me?" She gasped

"Yes. You said you would help."

"I would. I mean I will. I'm just not sure this will work."

"You don't even know what I've got planned." You haven't asked, I thought.

"Whatever it is, it's bound to fail."

"I'll pretend I didn't hear that."

She shrugged.

"What's wrong with you?" I realized I must have been chattering on without noticing her glumness.

"Nothing. I'm just confused, I guess."

"About what? Helping me?"

"No, there's more to it than that."

"Let me guess…Gal?"

She flushed red and nodded, perhaps inwardly struggling to decipher her reply. "He's everything I want, but somehow everything I don't."

"It's understandable. He's not exactly the 'meet your parents' kind of guy." I flushed now, forgetting she hadn't any. "I'm sorry, Jess, I didn't mean to say that. It was insensitive of me."

"It's okay. It's Nanny I miss. I wish she was here. She would know what to do. She would tell me." Her words bubbled into tears. I reached for her hand.

"She wouldn't have wanted you here in the first place," I said. "You don't belong here, Jess. You're here by mistake."

"And you?" She sniffed.

"I'm here against my will, but for a reason."

She wiped her tears and held my hand. "Right. What do you need?"

I felt silly for asking. She had so many of her own problems to deal with. She didn't need me dragging her down with mine.

"You're probably right. It won't work."

"The Crys I know would at least try."

"Maybe that Crys needs her brain checked."

"Tell me what you need and I'll get it. Then you can decide for yourself if you want to go ahead." It sounded reasonable, if not incredibly stupid.

"Okay," I relented, just as I knew I would. "But don't worry if you can't get them."

"Just tell me." She smiled. "It's worth the attempt."

I sat up and sifted through the list in my head, choosing the things that were the most important.

"I need a few knives."

Her jaw dropped.

"To cut rope."

"And?"

"A chisel."

"Really?"

I nodded. "To break into things if necessary."

"Do you want me to get you a cannon while I'm at it? Maybe some hand grenades?"

"I'm breaking in, Jess, not blowing up the place."

She smirked and pressed a hand to my forehead. "Well, your fever's down, so you must be serious."

"Does it sound that insane?"

"No." She grinned. "I admire your bravery."

"It's not bravery, Jess, I think it's called purgatory."

"Well, you seem willing to face it as if you've never doubted yourself for a second."

"That's the thing, I do. I just don't know what else to try."

"Whatever you have planned will work," she assured me, suddenly optimistic. "By the way, what is the plan?"

"I thought you'd never ask."

"Sorry." She laughed.

"I'm glad you find this funny."

"I'm not. It's nerves. I can't help it." She became serious behind the grin. Her mood changes worried me. I was in the midst of a life changing predicament and she was finding it hilarious.

"Are you feeling alright?" I asked.

She nodded.

"You sure?"

"You can trust me." She patted my hand and looked at me arduously with no hint of a returning smile.

"Good. Because I'm counting on you, Jess."

"I know."

"If this fails, I'm finished. Caput."

"I know," she repeated, squeezing my hand. "I'm just scared," she said. "Scared of what's going to happen. If I get caught. If Cray…" She broke off mid-sentence.

"Don't say it, Jess. And if you don't feel up to this, just say."

The silence was suffocating. If Jess didn't help, I couldn't reach Cray, which would only lead to one thing. The thing I couldn't allow to happen. I couldn't save Jared, but I still had a chance with Cray.

"I will help," she said solemnly. "No matter what."

I rested my head on the pillow, calm washing over me. After a deep breath, I leaned forward to whisper in her ear. "Tomorrow when Judith takes me for a walk, I'm leaving."

"Okay."

"You said Gal leaves for the Dia'ac around noon. I'll break into his car and wait in the back until he arrives."

"What if he sees you?"

"He won't, his back seat is always a mess, full of clothing. I'll hide beneath it."

"His car alarm?"

"You could somehow get his keys and turn it off."

"Then what?" she asked, intrigued by my crazy mission.

"Then I'll find a way to get in unnoticed, find Cray and save him."

"Wow. You make it sound so easy."

"I make it sound like an episode of Prison Break. It's so hypothetical I'm pretty sure it won't work."

"You'll do it. I have every bit of faith in you."

"I may need your faith when I'm caught and strung."

"Listen, Crys."

I was seeing visions of being tied and punished for the act. Mercilessly tortured every single day. Just like now. Only worse.

The door clicked open. Even the shadow of the intruder across my bed made me shudder.

"You. Out," Gundulla snapped at Jess.

Jess fled.

The wicked witch of the east stepped toward me, her hands behind her back.

"Stand," she ordered.

I climbed out of the ruckus of my bed, wanting to get it over with.

"Let me take a look at you." She grabbed my shoulders, positioning me until I was aligned with her neat, nautical self. Her eyes scanned me in sections, paying particular attention to my stomach.

"Well?" she asked.

"What?"

"Are you not forgetting something?"

"Aren't you?"

Her nostrils flared. "Do not mock me you wretched—"

"Whore?"

Her eyes widened.

"Imbecile?"

They widened to look the size of saucers.

"How about pointless descendant of a Fallion." I wasn't afraid of her anymore. She had done her worst, so far. And besides, she needed me.

She grabbed my face, digging her long fingernails in my cheeks. "I could stab you right now and let you die this time."

"Why don't you?" She pressed harder, my jaw cracked. "Because you need me, that's why."

She let go and tossed me on to the bed. "You will learn in time how to obey me."

"And you'll be waiting a long time."

"And you will be dead rather soon."

"I have around nine months to plan a way to get rid of you."

She smiled, unthreatened.

"We shall see," she toyed, eyeing me with amusement. "Without him and your child, you will have no reason to live. I think it suits both our interests when you disappear and follow in their footsteps into an unlikely heaven."

"Cray won't die. I won't let him."

"I wouldn't be so sure of that."

"He won't."

"Whether he lives or dies is of no concern of mine," she quipped. "Just as long as he never returns. I have suffered long enough raising him as my own."

"How about Gal? After all, he isn't yours, either."

Her lips pursed. "That is none of your business." She turned to leave.

"Breaking up one happy couple just wasn't enough was it?"

She halted at the doorway, keeping her back to me.

"You had to sink your selfish claws into them, too. Take what didn't belong to you."

She darted back and pulled my head back by my hair. "You think you have loved, you wretched little girl? Love does not brand you with loyalty. It can be lost." She sounded insistent, yet her voice quivered. "And you shall lose all you had gained with Cray. Just like everyone else who lives for that moment of weakness."

With that, she threw my achy head back onto the bed and stalked out of the room.