The Life of Anna, Part 5: Emerged (52 page)

“Is who in there?” Alex asked.

“The...woman you slept with last night.”

“I didn’t sleep with anyone last night.”

Her mouth formed an “O” and she blinked
rapidly as she turned and hurried into the bathroom. She emerged a
while later and approached him slowly. “W-would you like me to give
you a blowjob?”

Alex studied her for a long moment. She
fidgeted with the hem of her shirt. Would rejecting her make her
feel worse? Would accepting make her feel used? If he accepted, at
least she wouldn’t think that he was off with another woman.

“Do you have enough time?” he asked.

She glanced at the clock beside him and
nodded.

He nodded stiffly and she nervously walked
around the other side of the bed. She gave him a mournful look
before pulling at the blanket.

The rest of the week passed much as the start
of the week had. Anna knew Alex was still upset with her, and she
tried to keep him as happy as she could. He still spent much of his
time in the study and Anna felt very lonely.

Stef was not happy about how Alex was
treating Anna, but Anna knew Alex wasn’t wrong in his treatment of
her. She had done wrong and was lucky he wasn’t abusing her like
Devin would do.

When she arrived home on Friday after
rehearsals, Sebastian was there with Alex. She greeted them
respectfully and hurried to her bedroom. She went back out into the
living room after showering and saw Sebastian there, alone. He
studied her quietly.

“I-is there something I can do for you,
Sebastian?” she asked quietly.

“Alex needs you.”

“I won’t run away from him.”

“I didn’t think you would.” He motioned for
Anna to sit on the couch and she did. “He’s miserable, you
know.”

Anna raised her brows. “Why?”

“He misses you.”

Anna grimaced. “Right.”

Sebastian’s cool blue eyes bored into hers.
“Would you rather be with Hugo than Alex?”

Anna blinked, surprised at his direct
question. “I-I don’t know.” She sighed. “If life is going to be
like this....” She motioned around the room. “Yes. I would.” She
twisted her hands together. “But I don’t really have a choice, do
I?”

“You have a choice in whether or not you want
to be happy.”

“Will he ever forgive me for what I did?”

“It’s not so much what you did, but why you
did it that upsets him. He thinks you’d rather be with Hugo than
him.”

Anna thought for a few minutes. “I want
things to be good between Alex and I. I belong with him.”

Sebastian looked at her for a long moment and
then nodded. “He needs you.”

“You said that already. I will do what I can
to help him.”

“I suppose I should really say he needs you
and I together. He needs our essence if he’s going to defeat
Devin.”

Anna paled and stared at her hands. She never
wanted to do that again. “Why doesn’t he ask Irina?” she asked,
cringing at the thought of him being with Irina again.

“You are his wife. It is your duty.”

Anna stood and walked to the window and
looked, unable to hold back the horrible memories of Devin and
Kaveh that flooded her mind. Tears trickled out of her eyes as she
thought about what Sebastian was asking of her.

For her to be raped and sucked dry each
night. To become a means to an end, a tool in Alex’s pocket. Would
he hang her from the ceiling like Devin did? Would his eyes have
golden flecks in them? Would he begin to treat her like Devin
treated her? Would he torture her while she was half-conscious,
unable to even scream?

Would Sebastian chase her around the condo?
Make her run until she couldn’t run anymore? Tear her apart while
he raped her?

She exhaled slowly. Sebastian was right. It
was her duty. Maybe Alex would forgive her if she did this.

“When do you want to do it?” she asked
quietly, before she lost her nerve.

Alex was leaning over the table, studying a
map of Boston when Sebastian walked in. He stayed in the study most
of the time because it was too painful to be around Anna. She was
quiet and respectful, as if resigned to the fact that she was stuck
with him. His anger had worn off, replaced with sadness and longing
for their relationship to be restored.

“She’s willing to help you,” the Immortal
said.

“I don’t want to force her,” Alex sighed.

“I listened to her thoughts as she
contemplated what I asked. She’s terrified of doing it, because of
Devin, but hopes that maybe you’ll forgive her if she does.”

“I have forgiven her,” Alex said in a broken
voice. “I want things to be better between us.”

“Have you told her that? She thinks you’re
still angry.”

“She doesn’t seem to be interested in talking
with me.”

“She’s afraid, Alex. Devin tortured her for
the slightest infraction. I don’t even know if she realizes how
afraid she is.”

Alex straightened and stared at his friend.
“She’s equating me with Devin?”

“She doesn’t know what to think. He’s the
only Master she had for several years. There is no other frame of
reference.”

“My father wasn’t cruel.”

“Being with your father a few days here and
there can’t undo what Devin did to her.” Sebastian leaned against
the back of the couch. “Did you even ask her why she went to
Hugo?”

“I—” Alex paused. “No.”

“I think what we did with Irina and her
terror of what I’ve asked her are related. Devin—” Sebastian shook
his head. “Do you know
how
Devin did it?”

Alex shook his head. Did he want to know?

“Kaveh brutally raped her every afternoon and
then Devin hung her from the ceiling and consumed her until she
couldn’t move. Sometimes he tortured her while she was hanging
there, coherent but unable to move. Then she was half-way revived
so Devin could rape her.”

Alex closed his eyes, sick to his stomach at
the abuse Anna endured. Every new thing he learned about Devin made
him more determined to make him pay. His poor brave, sweet wife.
“She thinks if she lets me do that to her, that I’ll forgive her?”
he whispered.

“You can show her it can be different. That
it can be enjoyable.”

“You’ve been itching to fuck her again.”

Sebastian shrugged. “I won’t deny the appeal
this has, but I wouldn’t make up the need just to do it. I won’t
rape her, either.”

“She might prefer you to me after you’re
done.”

“Only if you continue to be a fuckhead.”

The irony of Alex being called the same name
that his brother had been called was not lost on him. He wasn’t
acting much better than Kurt had. Had he been wrong in being
angry?

“You had a right to be angry, Alex. She was
wrong in what she did. But just because she’s stood up to you a few
times, doesn’t mean she’ll confront you when she knows you’re
angry. She’s not that confident. Not yet.”

Alex walked into the library and found Anna
reading. She was curled up in the big brown leather chair near the
window where she usually spent her afternoons at home, if she
wasn’t napping.

He stood in the doorway watching her for a
few minutes. She was absorbed in a book. He was pleased to see her
still using the Kindle he’d bought for her. It wasn’t the one he’d
given to her in San Francisco. That one had been left behind when
she’d escaped.

“Anna?” he said softly, not wanting to
frighten her. At least not more than he would just being there.

She looked up at him, eyes wide with fright,
and put the e-reader on the table next to her as she stood up.
“Yes, Alex?”

“Sit,” he said gently, walking to the chair
next to hers. She followed him with her eyes and didn’t sit down
until he had done so. “Anna, why did you run to Hugo after...last
week?”

She stared at her hands for a long time
before answering. “I was angry...I was hurt.” She twisted her
fingers together. “I wanted to talk to someone. I don’t know. I was
sitting in the park and just...called him.”

“You were in the park?”

Anna nodded. “I wandered around the park for
a long time, thinking about stuff, and then I just called. I was
angry at you for interfering in my life.”

Alex kept his face impassive. He didn’t want
her to stop talking because she thought he was mad at her. He had
thought she’d gone straight to Hugo, but apparently she hadn’t.
That made him feel a little better. “What upset you before you
left?”

She glanced up at him and shook her head. “It
shouldn’t have upset me.”

“But it did. What was it?”

“Irina.... I met Irina at Vitaly’s funeral.
It was obvious that I was very different from the other
Elder-Mistresses. Painfully obvious. Irina had made a comment about
sleeping with you once before, and then
she
was
chosen
for the ritual. She thought me silly for loving
you. The other Mistresses were perfect. I...I had no idea what was
going on that day.” Tears formed in her eyes. “I was so confused,
so lost. Devin got so angry at me for embarrassing him, but he
hadn’t told me what would happen. Your dad had to punish me for
doing something stupid...I didn’t know what he was doing when he
got me pregnant. That whole day was horrible.” She sniffed. “When I
found out that you’d slept with her again...it reminded me of how
much I don’t fit in anywhere. Not with my own kind.... Even Hugo
was appalled at some of the stuff I told him....” A tear slid down
her cheek. “I don’t fit anywhere. I’m not a normal girl. I’m not a
normal Elder-Mistress. They were all disgusted with me.”

Alex took her hand and pulled her into his
lap. He held her against his chest and she cried as he rocked her
gently. After a few minutes, she put her arms around his neck and
hugged him like he was a lifeline in the middle of a raging
river.

“I’m sorry, Alex. I’m so sorry. Please don’t
get rid of me. You’re the only one who really understands me.”

“Shhh. Shhh,
Schatzi
. I would never
get rid of you.” He stroked her hair and held her tightly against
him. “I love you. I love you so much.”

Anna clung to Alex, fearful that he’d decide
that she wasn’t worth the trouble.

“I love you,
Schatzi
,” he
repeated.

She leaned back slightly and looked at him
through tear-filled eyes. “I’m sorry I ran to Hugo. I...I was
jealous of Irina. She’s...a perfect Elder-Mistress. I’m not.”

“
Schatzi
,” Alex said gently,
smoothing her hair. “The Elder-Mistresses are beautiful,
ja
, but I would much rather be with you than any of them.
They are cold, you are warm and loving and beautiful.” He brushed
his lips against hers. “I’m sorry I hurt you. We hurt each other,
and I regret that deeply.”

Anna nodded. “I don’t want to be with Hugo,
Alex. I mean, it’s not that I don’t care for him. I do, a lot. But
you...with you is where I belong.”

He smiled down at her and kissed her again.
“
Ja
. You belong with me.” He stood and carried her into
their bedroom.

“I missed kissing you,” Anna said as she
rested her head on Alex’s bare chest, tracing the ridge of his
pectoral muscles.

“I was trying to keep sex impersonal, I
didn’t want to let myself go.”

Anna winced. Peter had done the same thing
before he got to know her.

“But I didn’t want you to think I was
sleeping with someone else.”

“What about those women the other night?”

“The other guys picked them up. Even though I
was angry at you, I had no desire for any woman except you.” He
turned on his side and grinned at her. “You are very, very good at
sex.”

Anna smiled. “I guess I don’t have to worry
about you leaving me because I don’t satisfy you in bed.”

He chuckled. “Definitely not.” He leaned down
and nibbled along the outside of her breast.

“Alex?” she asked after a few minutes.

“
Ja, Schatzi
?”

“Sebastian said that you...needed us to help
you defeat Devin.”

“
Ja
, it’s true.”

She closed her eyes and took a breath. “I
will do it whenever you want to.”

Alex cupped her cheek. “Anna, the way Devin
did it to you...that is a cruel way to do it. I will try my best
not to hurt you. And Sebastian will certainly not rape you.”

She searched his eyes. “It’s okay if you have
to.”

He shook his head. “
Nein
, Anna. If I
had to hurt you, I wouldn’t do it.” He kissed her gently and then
smiled. “I hope you don’t decide that you like Sebastian better
than me.”

“Why would I...oh!” She would have to have
sex with Sebastian so Alex could have them both. “Is there any
other way to do it?”

Alex grimaced. “Yes, but I don’t need that
much power. And I would risk taking control of you.” He traced her
jaw with his finger. “What Devin did to you in the plane.”

“Oh.” Anna sighed in relief. Alex wouldn’t
have golden flecks in his eyes.

“Besides, I don’t think my father would
approve of me having that much Immortal in me without being an
Elder first.”

“Haven’t you had sex with Sebastian before,
though?”

Alex nodded. “
Ja
, but it’s different
when it’s just...sex. He wasn’t trying to ‘imbue’ me, it was just
for enjoyment.”

“Oh.” She vaguely remembered Kaveh and Devin
having sex just for enjoyment. “Will it bother you? I mean, me
having sex with Sebastian?”

Alex was quiet for a moment. “In a perfect
world, I wouldn’t have to share you with anyone,
Schatzi
.
But unfortunately, we don’t live in a perfect world. After I deal
with Devin, though, I will have more control over who I share you
with. And it certainly won’t be with Devin’s friends.”