The Lifestyle (49 page)

My effort to explain the lifestyle was made easier because of the assistance I received from five distinguished academics. All are cited in this book but I would like to specifically acknowledge their contributions. Dr. Josef Skala, currently professor emeritus on the faculty of medicine at the University of British Columbia, freely offered his time and knowledge as my medical advisor throughout this project. Dr. Jean Henry, currently developing doctoral programs at the University of Nevada, offered me her invaluable assessments of the couples she and I observed at several lifestyle gatherings. Dr. Edgar Butler, professor emeritus at the University of California, Riverside, shared with me his extensive knowledge of the lifestyle movement. The anthropologist and author Leanna Wolfe offered me her perspectives on the emergence of polyamory in the 1990s and directed me to source books which helped me immensely. Finally, Dr. Ted Mcllvenna, president of the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality, gave me access to the resources of his institute and shared his research on lifestyle couples.

Without the cooperation of the lifestyle couples themselves, of course, there would have been no book. Some allowed me to use their real names; others asked that I use pseudonyms; all were open to my presence at their events and to answering my questions. I am very thankful to them for trusting that I would treat them with dignity.

An equal measure of thanks goes to Dr. Robert McGinley and the staff at the Lifestyles Organization. The access I had to LSO’s day-to-day workings obviously contributed greatly to this book.

At the end of my research I wound up with over two
dozen cartons of notebooks, tapes, photo albums, documents, and textbooks. For her help in reviewing, summarizing and transcribing some of this mountain of material I would like to express my gratitude to my research assistant, Camilia Rabet.

Before I began this book I’d met very few colleagues who thought the lifestyle had important implications. Gary Bush, an Academy Award-nominated film director, was one of those few. In 1993 we teamed up to make a documentary film about the subject, and while we were not able to raise the funds to bring the project to fruition, Gary’s many insights about the subculture have influenced my writing. For his gracious (and gratis) support of our proposed film, I thank entertainment lawyer Arthur Evrensel.

My literary agents, Perry Goldsmith and Robert Mack-wood, were also among the first to recognize that the lifestyle required a broad explanation, and I am grateful for their encouragement in this project.

I am additionally grateful to the Canada Council for accepting my plan to handle the book and awarding me a short-term literary journalism grant.

In the end, it was Sarah Davies, my editor at Random House of Canada, who gave me the backing I needed to proceed with my approach to the subject. We both realized that an in-depth examination of the lifestyle would not be easy. Over the course of several drafts Sarah helped me find a form that communicated my research. Anne Collins, editorial director at Random House, offered invaluable advice on the final preparation of the manuscript.

I began this book with a dedication to my wife and I end with the same. Leslie never once expressed a doubt that I could explain the lifestyle high-mindedly. If I’ve come anywhere near to succeeding, it’s because of her support.

Terry Gould

December, 1998

Copyright © 1999 by Terry Gould

All rights reserved under International and Pan American Copyright Conventions. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without permission in writing from the publisher, except by a reviewer, who may quote brief passages in a review.

First published in 1999 by Random House Canada, a division of Random House of Canada Ltd.
Vintage Canada edition published in 2000.

Portions of this book appeared in different form in
Saturday Night
magazine and
Vancouver
magazine.

Canadian Cataloguing in Publication Data
Gould, Terry, 1949–
The lifestyle: a look at the erotic rites of swingers

eISBN: 978-0-307-36929-1

1. Group sex. 2. Sex. 3. Married people—Sexual behaviour. 4. Sexual ethics. I. Title.
HQ21.G68 2000    306.77    C99-931175-1

Magic Penny
Words and music by Malvina Reynolds.
Copyright © 1955, 1958 by MCA-Northern Music Company.
Copyright renewed MCA-Northern Music Company, a division of Universal Studios, Inc.
International Copyright secured. Used by permission.
All rights reserved.

Get Together
by Chet Powers
© 1963 (renewed) Irving Music, (BMI).
All rights reserved. Used by permission.
Warner Bros. Publications Inc., Miami, Fl, 33014.

The term “playcouple,” copyright © 1993 by the Lifestyles Organization, is used with permission.

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