The Lily Pond (21 page)

they throw you out, you can live with us,” May says when Stephie tells her the whole story at school the next day.

Stephie can’t help laughing. “Where would that be? Under the kitchen table?”

“Ha-ha,” says May. “We’re moving to a new apartment. What do you say about that?”

“A bigger one?”

“You bet! A two-bedroom in some new buildings they’re putting up out at Sandarna. With a real bathroom, too!”

“Amazing!”

“Papa signed us up a year ago. It’s in a neighborhood built with special priority for large families!”

“When will you be moving?”

“In March.”

“That’s wonderful news,” says Stephie.

“Isn’t it?” asks May. “Still, I’m going to miss Kaptensgatan. I’ve lived there ever since I was born.”

Stephie nods. “It’s not very far, though. You can go back and visit whenever you want.”

“I’m so sorry about your parents,” says May. “That they weren’t able to leave after all. But I’m sure it will work out somehow. I really think it will.”

They’re sitting on a bench in the schoolyard, waiting for the bell to ring after the lunch break. The pale January sun is shining, though it generates no warmth. Really it’s too cold to be sitting down, but the girls are perched on their schoolbags rather than on the cold bench. They have so much to talk about.

Stephie feels the amulet against her chest. She hung it on a silver chain and hasn’t taken it off. It’s under her dress now, so she can have it close to her but keep it to herself.

Suddenly she feels an irresistible urge to show it to May.

“Remember I told you Sven hadn’t given me a Christmas present?” she begins.

May nods.

“Well, he gave me something when I got back. Want to see?”

“Of course.”

Stephie undoes the top button on her coat, lifts the amulet out carefully, and shows it to May.

At that very moment, a double shadow is cast over
the two of them. Stephie looks up to see Harriet and Lilian. She tries to hide the amulet, but it’s too late. May has grasped it between her thumb and index finger.

“What’s that?” asks Harriet.

“An amulet,” Stephie says, hoping the bell will ring and save her from having to say more.

“Did
he
give it to you?” Lilian asks secretively.

May looks at her in surprise. “It was a gift from a friend,” May tells Lilian. “I don’t think you know him.”

“Oh, a friend,” Lilian replies. “A very special friend of Stephanie’s.” She and Harriet giggle knowingly.

“It’s beautiful,” says Harriet.

“Let it go,” Stephie tells May.

She knows that she sounds curt, and that May is going to be offended, but she can’t stand the looks Harriet and Lilian are giving her, or their significant smiles.

“Hang on,” says Lilian. “I want a look, too.”

She reaches for the amulet, but Stephie is quicker, stuffing it inside her coat again. And the bell rings.

“What did she mean?” May asks Stephie as they head up the stairs to the classroom.

“Who?” Stephie asks to gain time.

“Lilian, of course. What was all that about ‘a very special friend’?”

“Gosh, nothing.”

“So why didn’t you let her see it?”

May’s questions remain hanging. They’ve reached the classroom and Stephie has been saved by the bell—for the
moment, at least. Stephie sees to it that she and May aren’t by themselves during the rest of the afternoon breaks. But she has a feeling May is giving her funny looks, searching and concerned.

On the way home she has no choice but to face May’s questions.

“Stephanie, is there something about Sven you haven’t told me?”

What can she say?

“Stephanie, don’t you trust me?”

“I love him.”

Now that she’s said it, there’s no taking it back.

May says nothing. She takes Stephie by the arm and walks silently for a while.

“May I give you a piece of advice?” she says finally.

“Like what?”

“Try thinking about Sven in some other way. Be his friend instead, if you can.”

“I can’t.”

May sighs.

“Don’t you think he could fall in love with me? Not now, maybe, but in the not-too-distant future?”

“I don’t know,” says May. “The only thing I can say is that if I were in your shoes, I wouldn’t go around waiting for it to happen.”

“Haven’t you ever been in love?”

“No,” May says firmly, “and I don’t intend to be, either. Not until I’ve finished school and can have a say about
things. Maybe then I’ll get married and have a family. Maybe.”

“Well, I wasn’t talking about getting married.”

“Right,” says May, “but where I come from, it’s not unusual for girls not much older than you and me to get married because they have to. Because they’re pregnant.”

Stephie’s cheeks go red. “Do you imagine Sven and I …”

“No, no,” May says reassuringly. “I wasn’t thinking that. All I meant was, well, he’s so much older than you are.”

“Five years isn’t such a big difference, is it?”

“Maybe not to you.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing,” May says.

They’ve arrived at the tram stop and are standing, waiting. May looks at Stephie. Although Stephie can’t pinpoint why, she has a feeling May knows something she isn’t saying. Something about Sven.

“May?” she asks.

But the green tram arrives, clattering around the corner. May climbs aboard and waves to Stephie from inside the door. If she has anything more to say, it will have to wait.

two weeks into the spring term, Miss Krantz announces a test. Stephie has made up her mind that this time she’s not going to make a single mistake. She’ll show Miss Krantz she’s worth an A. She spends several evenings at her desk, hunched over her German grammar book. Sven teases her, calling her a crammer.

To him, homework doesn’t seem to be very important. His reading appears to have very little to do with school, even though in a couple of months he’ll be starting the long haul of first written and then oral exams that will determine his final grades.

“I’ll be all right,” says Sven. “And all I want is to pass. A writer doesn’t need an outstanding transcript.”

Sven is standing in the doorway to her room, with Putte
scurrying around his legs, wagging his tail. “Don’t you want to come for a walk with us?”

“I’ve got to study. The test is tomorrow.”

“Okay, be boring, then,” says Sven. He shuts the door before she has time for second thoughts.

The whole auditorium is filled with girls from several classes waiting to take the test. Miss Krantz sits on the stage, watching over them. One of the younger teachers Stephie doesn’t know is standing next to her with a stack of tests in her hand. No other books or study aids are allowed on the writing surfaces. Nothing but paper, pencils, and erasers. Any girl who has a question or needs to sharpen her pencil or go to the bathroom has to raise her hand and wait for the monitor to come by. Everyone who goes to the toilet has her name registered in a black book.

If you stay suspiciously long in the bathroom, a teacher comes and bangs on the door, although the only light in there is a single lightbulb, painted blue, which gives off such a dim glow you can barely see.

Stephie is seated along the center aisle, toward the back of the room. A girl from the other first-year class is next to her. May is in the row behind her, and Alice is diagonally in front of her. The chatter ends. Everyone sits quietly, waiting for the teachers to distribute the test papers.

Miss Krantz passes out tests to the right of the aisle; the
other teacher hands them to the left. It seems to take them forever, Stephie thinks, though she knows it can’t really be more than a couple of minutes.

The purple letters on the paper give off a strong smell of duplicating fluid. Stephie takes a quick look through the instructions and the questions before she begins.

The big clock on the wall ticks. They have three hours; the test period ends at eleven.

When the clock strikes nine, Stephie looks up. Ahead of her there is a sea of bent heads, necks, and backs. Some hands fly, light and eager, across the paper; others are more lingering and hesitant, crossing things out and starting over again.

Alice has raised her right hand. Miss Krantz is on her way down off the stage to see what she wants. Alice whispers; Miss Krantz nods. Alice gets up and walks past Stephie on her way to the toilet. Miss Krantz goes back to the stage and makes a note in her black book. Stephie knows what she’s writing:
Alice Martin, 9:02 a.m.-____
. After the dash, she will write the time Alice returns.

Stephie can’t resist looking up again when she hears the bathroom door open. It’s six minutes after nine. Alice spent four minutes in the bathroom.

Now she’s walking down the aisle to her seat. She’s wearing a dress with a cardigan over it. Just as she passes Stephie’s seat, something white drops from the sleeve of her cardigan to the floor.

Alice stops and begins to bend down to pick it up, but
at that very moment Miss Krantz looks up, gazing across the auditorium. Alice straightens and walks on before Miss Krantz has time to notice. Stephie leans into the aisle to see what Alice dropped. A piece of paper, folded tightly over and over again. Instinctively, Stephie picks it up. Alice turns around. Their eyes meet.