The Locket (33 page)

He smiled and let out a heavy breath. Logan and I understood each other on some higher level. It was something we shared and I wasn’t quite sure how I felt about that.

“Come on, let’s swing,” I suggested and Logan followed.

We sat side by side on the swings and began talking. My feet dangled off the ground, contrary to Logan whose height allowed him to reach the ground. He rocked in the swing. I had to use my legs, pumping the swing to get it moving, which made him chuckle.

When I told him about Maggie, I could almost see the heavy burden leave his body, as though a crane latched onto the giant weight, pulling the load away, placing it far away from us. His amber eyes burned bright. “She really tried to help me, Claire, and I pushed her away. Then I found out what I did to her and it’s been eating at me. No matter why it happened, I was still responsible.”

In that moment I knew that there was only one Logan. He accepted no excuses for his bad behavior, finally winning his fight against the choleric, hurt bully that controlled him for too long.

“Well Logan, it seems you both have a second chance now,” I praised.

“Thanks to you,” he smiled pushing up until his legs were stiff and releasing the swing, lifting his feet off the ground. He pumped harder until the swing was high in the air.

I joined him, swinging so high I thought I might not be able to hang on during the upswing. It felt amazing, but escaping my troubled thoughts was short lived and my mind wandered to Brent. I kept remembering the look on his face as I walked out the door. It was torn between the sting of wanting to stop me, and rage toward Logan. He looked lost. The slow, creeping ache was starting in my legs and I knew the further I got from Brent, the sicker I was going to feel. I needed him emotionally and physically, but I refused to forgive him for his betrayal. He lied to me about something so meaningful and important, and had callously tossed Mandy and her feelings aside. I couldn’t wrap my brain or my heart around that. The Brent I knew could never be so dismissive of somebody’s feelings, but the reality was that I didn’t really know him at all.

Bull! You’ve known him your entire life. You know he would never intentionally hurt you. He tried to explain and you refused to listen.

I had refused to listen because it was my heart that wanted him to explain, but my brain knew what it heard. He lied to me and there was no explanation he could offer that allowed forgiveness for that lie. I could still feel his hands on my body exploring me the way they did the previous night. His scent still lingered on my skin with each sweep of air as the swing climbed and released. A few tears escaped my eyes. I stopped pumping the swing, fighting back sobs as it came to a slow stop. I wiped the tears away and noticed that Logan was watching me worriedly. He didn’t say anything and offered me a hand. I accepted, clasping his fingers in my own.

Logan helped me into his truck, and I looked toward the cemetery where I saw Mr. Shattuck again. He was clear as day and a look of concern brushed across his face. I heard him speak as though he was sitting next to me in the truck.

“Be careful, Claire. Go back, please. You need him,” he urged.

I opened the door to go to him but he was gone. What did that mean? Be careful with Logan, with Brent or with my life as a whole? Returning to Brent was not possible after what happened. I closed the door just as Logan got in.

“You okay?” he asked noting my tangled expression.

“Fine,” I muttered.

You are not fine, you are being careless, and you know leaving him is
wrong. You should go back to him right now
. I ignored my bossy subconscious. I was not ready to face him.

Logan didn’t push for more. He started the truck and continued the drive towards his uncle’s loft. Logan and I didn’t speak for a while. I assumed he was doing as much thinking as I was. We had been traveling on Route 2 for about twenty minutes when Logan broke the silence. “You hungry? There is an awesome breakfast place up ahead.”

“Breakfast?” I questioned. “It’s almost noon, Logan.”

“Late breakfast, then. The place is too good to pass up, Claire.”

“Sounds perfect,” I agreed, though I wasn’t sure if I could eat. My stomach was in knots.

We entered the small diner, what my dad would have called a
hole in the wall.
Logan said they had the best Eggs Benedict around. We sat in a small corner both. The diner had a 1950’s theme, layered with trinkets and memorabilia from that decade. James Dean, Elvis, Marilyn, even Betty Boop stared at us as we sat.

“My dad had the biggest crush on Marilyn Monroe” I said to Logan, who grinned at me through a thick layer of brown lashes.

“What?” I said defensively.

“I think anyone donning male anatomy has had a crush on her.” He held his hand out in front of his chest and made a squeezing motion with his fingers.

“Eww,” I laughed. “Very true, but I didn’t really need the visual, thank you.”

We placed our order for Eggs Benedict which Logan requested Irish style, substituting ham for corned beef hash. It was my dad’s favorite. New England was one of the few places it was possible to get it that way.

Sitting in a cloud of doubt, I was twiddling my thumbs and could feel the heat in my cheeks growing as I considered what brought me to this diner. I was so angry at Brent, but I missed him so much.

Logan must have sensed my uneasiness. He reached across the table and folded my hand in his. “Claire, it will work out.”

I wanted to believe him but my heart felt the difference. “It won’t Logan. I can’t forgive him.”

His amber eyes spoke to me before the words left his mouth. “I know firsthand that is not true.”

“You and I have a different situation, Logan,” I whispered, leaning across the table.

His lips turned up in a smug grin, suggesting it was his turn to help me. “It’s not that different, Claire. You hated me, yet found a way to see past that. You’re angry, but I know you’ll get over it eventually.”

“I won’t! I almost slept with him last night and I asked him…” I started to explain, turning my head away, slightly embarrassed. I asked him with my thoughts and Brent knew. What if that was it? I wonder if he read my question wrong last night. No, he knew exactly what it was. “And he lied, Logan. He said he had never been with someone else,” I finished.

Logan’s smile turned apologetic now. “Maybe he hasn’t been with anyone else.”

I allowed a moment of awkward silence to fill the air between us before I spoke. “I heard it with my own ears, Logan, and so did you.”

“He said he could explain,” Logan reasoned. I wasn’t sure if he was defending Brent or himself.

I should have laughed. “Isn’t that what most guys say in that predicament?” I teased, playfully reaching across the table smacking him in the arm.

Logan laughed. “Ouch! But I can’t argue with you there,” he said, reaching across the table and lifting my chin up. “I think you should talk to him, that’s all. I don’t want you to have regrets later.”

God, what was it with the guys in my life and my regrets?

“I’ll worry about my regrets, thank you.”

Just then the waitress interrupted us, setting our plates of food on the table, along with two cups of coffee. I really wasn’t hungry and I pushed the plate aside. Logan dug right into his Eggs Benedict, like he hadn’t eaten in days. I poured cream and sugar into my coffee, stirring it before I took sip.

When Logan finished, he wiped his mouth on a napkin and tossed it on the empty plate. He glanced out the window, obviously struggling with something and then returned his gaze to me. He rested his elbows on the table, lacing his fingers and resting his chin on them.

“If I understand it correctly, he’s like your soul mate or something, right?” Logan inquired, uncomfortably.

I pursed my lips and nodded because coming up with an adequate response to deny the pull I had to Brent was nearly impossible. Logan was right, Brent’s seal was stamped identically to mine, designed to belong to me for eternity. I remembered when Brent told me Reese was my match, explaining that it was a force that couldn’t be fought, only shelved, leaving a person incomplete.

“Yes, but it doesn’t matter. People go their whole lives sometimes without ever finding the one person that was designed for them,” I argued.

Logan looked at me with pity in his eyes. It was a first time moment for him, he actually felt sorry for me now. “That might be true, but only because they don’t find them, and not because they don’t want them.”

“But they do and they live happy lives despite that,” I continued arguing.

He sighed, running his hands through his hair briefly, appearing irritated I was not seeing things his way. “True, they live incomplete lives, but
you
don’t have to because you have Brent. That is quite a gift, Claire.”

He was being sincere. I knew he cared so much for me.

“Why are you doing this, Logan? I would think you would be happy about our separation.”

We stared at each other briefly before he sighed. “I should be thrilled, you’re right. I think Brent’s an idiot and you’re too good for him. If I thought for one second you could forget about him and be happy with me as a substitute, I would be singing from the rooftops. However, I think we both know you can’t just forget about him.”

I turned and faced the window, resisting the urge to curl into a ball. I couldn’t look at him, knowing I was about to lie.

“I can forget about him,” I insisted.

I could see in his eyes, Logan didn’t believe me for one second. He already knew me too well. “What about Kace? He’s going to find you and you’ll need Brent for that.”

I didn’t want to think about it anymore because I knew Logan was right. The abilities I had to fight Kace were only at their strongest with Brent by my side.

“Can we please not talk about this anymore, Logan?”

“Fair enough. I know you’ve been through a lot, but at least think about it. Please. I care about you. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to be with you. I do. I don’t want anything to happen to you and if that means you need Brent to stay safe then I hope you will think about talking to him.”

Logan excused himself from the table, picking up the ticket the waitress had left at some point. I smiled. Logan had grown these past few days. Old Logan would have happily accepted what he wanted and not considered any of the consequences. But the boy sitting across from me now only thought of me and what was best for me, even if it meant I would be with someone else. He would sacrifice his feelings to do what was right and I was more than proud of him for these significant changes.

I considered a life with Logan, and what it would be like. I pictured him as a loving husband and father to our children. Then I remembered the vision of him with his wife and child, and the happiness on his face when he saw it too. Omni said people’s choices could change the future. If I chose Logan, I would do just that. I felt guilty. Could I take that kind of happiness from Logan just to avoid my feelings for Brent? Could I take the sweet little boy from my vision that adorned Logan’s shoulders? That child would never come to be if I chose a life with Logan. It was incredibly selfish of me to even consider it. Logan deserved that kind of happiness and who was I to take it away from him? I knew he would love me, but there would always be a part of us that could never truly connect because we weren’t stamped to match.

The ache in my body was growing stronger and the few bites I had of my breakfast were swirling in my stomach. The flu-like symptoms gently reminded me I needed my Paramour. Why did he have to lie to me? We weren’t together when he was with Mandy. I would have understood.

Right, you would have been just as heartbroken.

Maybe I would have, but I would have forgiven him if he hadn’t lied about it. He made a choice that would change the future for us, not me.

Even so, you can’t take Logan’s future because Brent was foolish. It’s not right and you know it.

I really wish my subconscious was not so loud or so right, but as usual, she was. I had to let go of Logan.

Logan returned to the table after paying the bill. “Are you ready?” he asked.

I toyed with my napkin, rolling it in my fingers anxiously. “You’re right, Logan. I need to talk to him.”

Logan hid his disappointment with a soft smile, “Okay, then. You want me to take you back to Layken’s?”

“No. I’m going to call him.” Talking to him in person was not an option. Brent’s piercing gaze and his closeness would not allow me to think straight. I wanted to hear what he had to say with a clear head before I knew if I could forgive him, and I couldn’t do that with him infiltrating my senses.

Logan nodded. “I’m pretty sure I left my phone at the loft and if not, my uncle has a few phones he uses on the job.”

He held his arm out for me and I took it, pulling myself up from the table. Our eyes met and I had an incredible urge to kiss him again. I bit my lip and turned my head, feeling ashamed. Any feelings I had for Logan were wrong. He deserved his happiness and I knew from my visions it was with someone else.

And you’re in love with someone else.