The Lonely Hearts Club (21 page)

225

chapter Thirty one

'No YOU DIDN'T!" TRACY WAS screaming on the phone after I gave her the details.

"Can you believe it? I think I may have gone a little overboard in the end, but I just feel this incredible weight lifted off my shoulders." I was lying in bed with my pajamas on, feeling so giddy the Taylor's had left, and Rita had brought me a big piece of pumpkin pie before heading out for the evening. Life was grand,

"Seriously next meeting I want you to do a complete reenactment for the Club. I'll be more than happy to play the part of Nate. I'll just grunt a lot and shove food in my face. Priceless! Who else knows?"

"Just you and Rita. She thinks I'm a goddess!"

"You have got to call the Club. Everybody's dying to know what happened."

"I will -- t just can't believe that seeing him was a good thing; I don't know what I was thinking. He changed so much."

"Penny it wasn't Nate who changed, it was you. You know that I've never liked him. I always told you that you could do better, but you didn't listen and now you know the truth. Pretty sweet, huh?"

Very sweet indeed.

226

I fell into bed exhausted after calling Diane, Jen, Amy, and Morgan.

I had done it. I had stood up to Nate.

I went over to my desk and picked up my old journal and went to the last entry. the one that had broken my heart so many times in the past. I ran my finger along the indentations the pen left. there was so much pain in those words. But now I knew that everything would be okay.

I grabbed a pen off my desk and wrote below my "Yesterday" entry. I wasn't rewriting history, I was just reminding myself that I could get over heartbreak if it happened another time.

. . . I'll he back again.

Yes, I would be back. I could take chances with my heart and I would be able to bounce back, and anything that might hurt me would just make me stronger in the end.

And I did deserve everything I wanted -- somebody who would appreciate me, someone I could trust, someone who liked me for me.

My heart sank as I thought of Ryan.

227

chapter Thirty two

"NOW, PENNY LANE, THIS IS our little secret, pinky swear." Dad held out his pinky and I locked mine with his. "Your mother would kill me if she knew we did this with all of the leftovers still in the house."

Dad and I were on our own for Saturday dinner, and neither of us had been able to stand looking at the leftover to furkey... so we'd thrown it down the garbage disposal. Mom was never going to buy the story that I'd helped him finish it off.

"So what's the Club up to tonight?" Dad asked.

"Were going to catch a movie so you guys don't have to worry about a zillion screaming girls in the house."

Dad smiled. "Well, that's a relief. No karaoke planning?"

Ugh, that was the purpose of us going to a movie -- to try to distract Jen from the following weekend's party. She had been totally stressing out. Not only had I promised to sing a solo, I had also agreed to lead the Club in a rendition of "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band." the phone rang and Dad went over and picked it up. "Oh, hello, Ryan!' he said after listening for a moment.

It cant be . . ,

I looked over and saw that my dad's forehead was creasing.

228

"No, no, you did the right thing. I'll be in my office in five minutes. Meet me there."

Medical emergency. "Is everything all right?"

"No, actually that was Ryan Bauer -- his sister fell and hit her mouth against a table and is bleeding. I need to get over to the office," He grabbed his jacket. "Actually, Penny Lane, can you come with me? I might need an extra set of hands."

"Umm..."

"Plus," he added, "Ryan seems a little shaken up. it might be good for him to have a friend there."

Before I could protest, Dad threw my jacket at me and was out the door.

Ryan was waiting for us when we pulled up. He was holding his eight-year-old stepsister, Katie, in his arms, her long black hair covering her face. Dad ran over to him and reached out to touch Katie's head. "Sweetie," he told her, "its going to be okay." He handed me his keys. "Penny Lane, open up the office, get the lights on in my exam room, turn everything on, and get a clean set of instruments." Ryan looked at me, noticing that I was with my father, and I saw that his eyes were filled with panic.

I nervously reached for the keys and sprinted into the office. I flipped on the overhead lights and then ran in the back to my dad's main exam room. Like an automatic reflex, I turned on all of the equipment, grabbed a fresh set of instruments, and placed them down on the counter.

Katie's sobs were getting louder as my dad and Ryan

229

approached the room. "I was upstairs getting dinner ready and then I heard a crash. I guess she was jumping around and . . . fell!' Ryan was explaining to my dad.

He set Katie in the chair and Dad gently removed the towel that was covering her face. All I could see was blood.

"Oh, no!" Ryan exclaimed, and he put his hands over his head and started to pace.

"Everything's going to be fine!' Dad said. I couldn't tell if he was talking to Katie or Ryan.

I ran into my dad's office, grabbed Abbey the Walrus, and ran back. Dad was examining Katie, who was now crying even harder. "Here, sweetie." I went over and gave her the stuffed animal that I used to play with when I was about her age. Katie hesitantly took the walrus and then held on to it for dear life.

"All right, some of the teeth are a little loose, but everything is going to be fine. I'm just going to clean up the wound and then see about stabilizing the teeth," Dad looked over at Ryan, who seemed like he was about to faint.

"Penny Lane, why don't you take Ryan to the lobby," Dad went on, even as Ryan began to protest. "Ryan, I think it's best for you to watt there. You've done all you can."

I walked out the door and Ryan followed me. Before I could even think about it, I placed my hand on his shoulder.

He plunked down on the couch in the reception area and put his hands over his face. "My mother's going to kill me."

I sat down next to him and put my arm around him. "Ryan, you didn't do anything wrong."

230

"there's so much blood," he protested.

"But that's just because the blood is mixed with the saliva, so it just looks worse than it actually is," I assured him.

He jerked his head up. "Why are you even here?" I couldn't tell if he was angry or embarrassed.

"My dad, he, um, thought he might need help . . and that you might need a friend." I reached for his hand and gave it a squeeze.

Ryan's cell phone rang and he jumped. "Hey, Mom, . . . no, I got ahold of Dr. Bloom..., Yes ... okay ... okay ... I will. . . 'bye."

"You have to know this isn't your fault," I said after he'd hung up. He just stared straight ahead, "Um, when I was two, Lucy was supposed to be watching me. She was only ten at the time, so that was probably pretty irresponsible of my parents, but she left me on the top bunk bed in her room and, well, the next thing you know, I fell off the bunk bed and onto the floor. And you know, I turned out seminormal." I bumped my knee against his. "Or maybe not. .. ."

He smiled. "I know she'll be okay, but my mom sounded like I really let her down, and Cole is so overprotective of Katie. it's just... do you have any idea how frickin' exhausting it is to be me sometimes?"

I stared at him in disbelief.

"Ryan," I said, "nobody expects you to be perfect"

"Right, tell that to the coaches and my parents."

I'd never really thought about that. I'd just always assumed that Ryan was perfect.

231

"It's my own fault," he continued, "I kill myself to live up to peoples expectations. Just once I'd like to skip class, drink at a party, not always say the right thing, I can already hear my parents, 'You should have been watching her, Ryan,' What were you thinking, Ryan! 'How irresponsible, Ryan! 'We are so disappointed, Ryan! that's the worst, when they tell me that they're disappointed in me, like I'm not allowed to mess up once in a while. I'm just thankful my dad doesn't need to know about this!' it was the first time Ryan had mentioned his father since he hadn't shown up at the game earlier in the year. "if I have to hear from him one more time that an A-minus is the same as a B-minus and that no decent college is going to let me in unless I get nothing but straight As . . .like t want to follow his path to being a self-absorbed prick."

My mouth dropped open.

He looked horrified, "I'm sorry ... I shouldn't have ... I didn't mean ,. ."

"It's okay" I rubbed his arm. "You're just really stressed about Katie, that's all. there's just... a lot going on right now."

He turned to me, looking so tired. "I know you think I'm overreacting, but I spend so much time doing things to not disappoint people.. . . What about what I want?"

"What do you want?" I asked.

"Does it even matter?" he replied as he leaned his head against the wall.

"Yes, it does, if it's important to you."

"Well, I can't have it, so what's the point?"

232

this was such a different side to Ryan -- he was so vulnerable. it made me like him even more. I reached out and held his hand again. "Ryan, you're an amazing person and you do deserve whatever you want,"

He looked down at my hand in his. "I'm not stupid, so I'm willing to settle."

I was confused; I had no idea what he was talking about. He reached out his free hand and cupped my chin. "I know things have been weird, but can we please have things go back to normal between us?"

I didn't know if that was even possible. What was normal anymore?

I nodded. 'I'm really sorry for everything. Rosanna was just. .."

"I know," he said as he put his hand back down and took his other hand away from mine. I had the urge to grab it again, but resisted.

"Well." I hit him on the knee. "Leave it to you. You come in here with your sister and you end up making me feel better."

"Yeah, well, leave it to Mr. Perfect..."

I laughed. "Hardly. Don't forget I overheard you singing at the concert and you, mister, have a little problem with pitch. I say you're far from perfect."

He shook his head and we sat in silence. I started to hum along to the Muzak playing in the background.

"Oh my God," I said.

Ryan looked up. "What's wrong?"

233

I shook my head, "Nothing, it's just..." I went over to the front desk and turned up the volume, "Seems to be appropriate, don't you think?" I started to sing along to the music playing.

Won't you please, please help me.

"You have no idea." He breathed what appeared to be a sigh of relief.

Dad came out a few minutes later, holding Katies hand. Her mouth looked a lot better, besides the gauze that Dad affixed to help slow the bleeding. Ryan jumped out of his chair and was on his knees hugging her.

"Dr. Bloom, thank you so much. I'm so sorry for having to call you at home -- I just didn't know what to do."

My dad shook Ryan's hand. "No worries -- you did the right thing."

Katie came over to me and extended Abbey in her small arms, I bent down. "You know, I think you might need Abbey more than me." Her face lit up and she ran over to Ryan and grabbed his leg,

"Well," he said, "I guess we should go. thanks again, Dr. Bloom." He walked over to me, saying "thanks, Penny" as he gave me a hug. then he leaned down and kissed me on the cheek.

I saw the surprised look on my dad's face. As we let them out the front door, he looked at me. "So .. . that Ryan. Great guy, huh?"

You have no idea, I thought.

234

[Page Blank]

235

With a Little Help From My Friends

"I get by with a little help from my friends..."

236

[Page Blank]

237

chapter Thirty three

USUALLY AFTER A BREAK, I dreaded going back to school But I couldn't watt to see Ryan, to see if things were really okay between us.

We fell quickly back in place, and I practically ran to my locker between classes. instead of dread, I started to look forward to my between-class teasing session. Usually I told him how many ways he wasn't perfect, and he commented on the unfortunate shape of my head from my bunk bed trauma.

"Come to think of it, I never see you wear hats -- is that because of the, you know, accident" He tugged on my scarf as I was buttoning up my wool coat.

"Gee, let me think. I've never seen you play a musical instrument -- is that maybe because you're completely inept at anything related to music?"

I wrapped my scarf around my neck so it smacked him in the head every time it circled around.

"Oh, excuse me . . ,"

"Penny!" I heard someone cry from across the hall. I saw Jen running toward me, with Tracy following quickly behind her.

This couldn't be good.

Tracy broke the news. "Principal Braddock told her that we can't have the karaoke night in the gymnasium anymore."