The Long Night of Centauri Prime (22 page)

She started to read, although she wasn't touching the book at that point. But when she saw just what it was that she was reading, her eyes went wide with surprise. Minbar! The emperor had been on Minbar! She remembered when he had disappeared from Centauri Prime, some five months before. His departure had been unannounced and rather unexpected. Durla had tried to act as if he had been expecting it, but even he had seemed a bit caught off guard. Londo had been gone for three weeks, and there had been a bit of confusion and nervousness bandied about, although Durla had done an excellent job of staying atop all the problems that had cropped up. And then, after a time, the emperor had returned.

Senna realized that it was from that point on that she had really noticed the change in him. He seemed ... smaller than he had before. Diminished somehow. It was nothing she could truly put her finger on, but she was certain that she wasn't imagining it. Something very bad had happened, and she now knew that whatever it was that had happened to so dispirit the emperor, it must have occurred on Minbar. Despite her better judgment, Senna set aside all pretense to the contrary and started reading what Londo had written. She still didn't pick up the book, as if not touching it would somehow negate any invasion of privacy or breaking of trust. Instead she leaned with her knuckles on the table and read in earnest.

Apparently Londo had gone to Minbar to meet with Delenn and Sheridan. Delenn was with child, and at the point in the narrative where the page began, Londo was recording an encounter with the president of the Interstellar Alliance and his "lovely wife," as Londo put it.

Senna continued to read: "It was clear to me that they were to be somewhat guarded in my presence. I could see it in Sheridan's eyes, feel it even when he wasn't looking at me. He was suspicious and unsure. I suppose I could not blame them, truly. They were not expecting me simply to show up on Minbar. Now that I was here, they had no clue as to what to anticipate. It had to be especially perplexing for Sheridan, since he believed himself a superb strategist, and my appearance on Minbar did not fit any proscribed pattern he could anticipate. As for me ... I had my own difficulties to deal with, my own "secrets" to attend to. So not only was I a bit more boisterous than I normally would have been, left to my own devices, but certainly more effervescent than the moment called for. No doubt that increased the level of their suspicions. We were seated in the dining room which, I must admit, was not particularly lavish.

These days it seems to me that the palace on Centauri Prime is more of a prison than a home. Nonetheless, at least it is a decorative prison. The food, as far as I was concerned, was mostly inedible; even the most elaborate Minbari delicacies are, at best, bland. But I smiled through it as we chatted – once more – about how surprised Sheridan and Delenn were to see me. Surprised ... and even a bit disconcerted. When I commented on it, they promptly denied it, of course. They wished to be polite. Considering the purpose of my being there, it seemed almost quaint that such was their concern. Our conversation broadened to surprising people in general.

"Another of the benefits of being emperor ..." and then I added, almost as an afterthought, "or president in your case ... is not so much the people who are pleased to see you in office. It's the people who are furious that you're even alive, let alone holding a position of power. Knowing that every day you succeed they die a little inside ... makes the endeavor eminently satisfying."

Sheridan cast an uncomfortable glance at Delenn and then forced a polite smile.

"I hadn't really thought of it in those terms," he said. "I thought of the looks I get from my ministers, and the scheming eyes that watch my back as I pass, thinking of how delightful my spine would look with a dagger protruding from it."

"Oh, you will. You will," I assured him.

There was an uncomfortable silence – one of many in the evening – and then Delenn said, "If you don't mind my saying so, Emperor Mollari–"

I waved a scolding finger.

"Londo, please."

"You told me to call you Emperor Mollari," said Sheridan.

Indicating Delenn's ensemble, I replied, "You don't look as good in that outfit as she does." This actually prompted the first genuine smile of the evening. "Go on, Delenn."

"I was just going to say that your attitude toward us is..." She paused, searching for the right words. "... quite improved over the last time. When we were all on Centauri Prime, you said some ... unkind things."

I waved dismissively.

"Playing to the audience, Delenn, nothing more. I need to get my people fired up in order to begin the long and difficult process of rebuilding. There's politics," and then I looked significantly at them, "and there's friendship. And when I learned that you were with child, and that you were finally coming here to stay ... how could I not come and convey my personal best wishes."

When she read that, Senna's hearts leapt. So grim Londo had been as of late, so sullen. Was it possible that he indeed presented one face to his people and advisors, and another to those he truly considered his friends? For some reason, it made Senna want to know the real Londo even more. The one who genuinely cared about reconciliation.

Already she could see that it made sense, although she wasn't entirely sure that she agreed with the tactic. She understood it, though. Saying whatever was necessary to get the people stirred up. Yes. Yes, it did make sense. After the battering, the bombings ... their spirit was at a low ebb. First and foremost, he had to get them to care about something, to manufacture some sort of passion and energy. And if it was directed at first in a negative manner, well ... at least it was there. Once it was present, he could then steer it whichever way he wanted it to go.

She looked back at the book and continued to read ... "Delenn and Sheridan looked at each other, and I could tell what was going through their minds. They were hoping that what I said was the truth ... but they were not certain. I suppose I could not blame them. I have been living so many lies for so long, even I am not certain what the truth is anymore."

Senna's face fell when she read that. It certainly wasn't the sentiment she was hoping he'd express. "Living so many lies?" What did that mean?

..."As Sheridan and Delenn tried to make up their minds, my own thoughts began to race as to possibilities under which we might ... chat in an open manner. I had, after all, certain considerations that needed to be attended to.

"I would raise a toast to you, but there doesn't seem to be anything at hand. Do you have a little Brivari, Mr. President? Some of that excellent Earth whiskey tucked away in a box somewhere?"

"No," said Sheridan. "Since alcohol is dangerous for Minbari, I decided to leave all that stuff at Babylon 5." Immediately I remembered, and could have kicked myself for the oversight. Lennier had told me that alcohol engendered murderous rages in Minbari. Foolishness. Foolishness of me to forget that. For now there was no way I would be able to ... relax sufficiently, to be able to truly open up. With flickering hope, I asked, "Surely there must be a little..."

"Not a drop," Sheridan said firmly. "I'm surprised that you didn't bring your own supplies."

I glanced at my shoulder and felt a slight twinge of warning.

"My associates do not allow me such pleasures anymore. I suppose they feel I am dangerous enough sober. No reason to make things worse."

We continued to eat in silence once more, and then I felt a slight qualm in my mind, through that damnable connection. But this time it was not a warning that came from within, but from without. I glanced up and immediately saw the problem. Delenn was looking at me, her eyes narrowed, as if she was perceiving that which she could not ... indeed, must not ... be allowed to see. And yet I was..."

Senna stopped reading, thoroughly confused. What could Londo possibly be talking about? What was Delenn "perceiving " that she should not? The only thing Senna could guess was that Delenn was intuiting something about Londo's state of mind. He wanted to retain his privacy, keep his purposes and thoughts obscure. After all, he had spoken of "living lies," a comment that bothered Senna greatly. Obviously, Londo was worried about letting anyone get too close to him emotionally. Although the comment about "that damnable connection" still mystified her.

..."And yet I was almost tempted to do nothing. Perhaps ... perhaps if she perceived, if she knew and understood ... then they would be able to take the proper action, know the precautions that they should employ. That was when a little voice in my head urged me to stop stalling. It wasn't words that I heard so much, but a sense that I should get on with it ... lest there be dire consequences for all concerned. And I knew that I had no choice. No choice at all."

His conscience. He was wrestling with his conscience over some sort of decision, probably having to do with whether he could trust Sheridan and Delenn. Senna felt herself utterly caught up in the drama of the moment.

"So, Delenn," I said quickly. That startled her from her concentration and she muttered an apology. "You haven't asked me about my gift."

"What gift?" Delenn responded. She still seemed a bit befuddled by her long gaze into the dark places of my life, and she turned to Sheridan. Sheridan, ever the diplomat – and, of course, eager to distance himself from the great Centauri Republic and its even greater emperor – said, "We really can't..."

"Oh, it's not for you," I quickly assured them. Then I clapped my hands, and one of my retainers entered with the urn. It was draped with a white cloth, so naturally it drew some degree of curiosity, particularly from Delenn. At least there are some aspects of females that cross all races, and inquisitiveness appears to be a universal womanly trait. Sheridan just looked suspicious. Of course, he had long practice at it. The retainer set the vase down and left, and I removed the cloth with just a bit of a flourish. I have to admit, it was a rather impressive looking bit of pottery ... at least, from the outside. Sheridan picked it up, and it was everything I could do to repress a shudder. Instead, sounding remarkably sanguine about it, if I do say so myself, I said, "It is a Centauri tradition to give this to the heir to the throne when he or she comes of age. It is very old."

"It's beautiful," Delenn said. "But we cannot possibly accept."

Naturally, I would have been more than happy to oblige them. Instead I had to say, "I insist."

"Won't they miss it back home?" asked Sheridan. They were asking so many questions, so many damned questions. It was an annoying trait. They never accepted anything at face value, never took the word of others. They had to keep asking and probing until they themselves were satisfied.

"The tradition is not well known outside the palace," I said. "Besides, I have no heirs and, when I am gone, I suspect the Centaurum will do all it can to eliminate the position of emperor. If I am going to be obsolete, and that is going to be obsolete, then I may as well make sure it goes someplace where it will be appreciated."

"...Lies intermingled with truth. I was becoming quite facile with it. Truthfully, I did not think there was any chance whatsoever that the position of emperor would be eliminated. There are far too many people who crave the ultimate power of that office. The very people who would be in a position to do away with the office of emperor would be the very same people most eager to don the white themselves. Little good may it do them. And besides ... I knew of the prophecy. I knew I was ordained to be followed by an emperor ... by at least one ..."

This revelation stunned Senna for a moment. A prophecy? She had read assorted books of Centauri prophecy. Certainly there were women who were quite legitimate seers, and their forecasts were well known. But she didn't recall any published prophecy that specifically mentioned Londo. Or that cited when or if done away with. Was it some sort of private reading that had been done just for him? She hoped that his next words would spell out what the prophecy was, or where he had divined it from. Instead, as she read on in eager anticipation, she felt a flicker of disappointment

"... At that moment, a Minbari entered and whispered something into Delenn's ear. I suspect that he was of the same "caste" as Lennier, for he had that same, quiet manner as the star-crossed Ranger. Delenn nodded and rose.

"Something has just come up," she said. "If you will excuse me."

For a moment I thought that perhaps somehow, through some miracle, she had figured it out. That she actually knew. But then she walked out of the room without so much as a backward glance, and that was how I knew she remained blissfully oblivious. Sheridan then faced me, and I hoped that he was going to continue to try and dissuade me from presenting him with the gift. Instead he picked that horrendous moment to allow me to be magnanimous.

"Well, if I can't talk you out of this," he said, "... well, thank you. When should I ..."

The words I was about to speak felt as if I was allowing poison to drip from my mouth.

"When your child male or female, turns sixteen years, then you hand it over."

"I notice the bottom part is sealed."

Great Maker, nothing slipped past the man. I kept my expression bland, though, as I fabricated on the spot, "Yes. I'm told that it contains water taken from the river that flowed past the first palace, two thousand years ago."

He actually looked intrigued as he gently set the vase down. We chatted for a bit more, but with every passing moment I became less and less enthused, more and more anxious to simply get out of there. I felt as if the walls were closing in. My breath was heavy in my chest. I tried to tell myself that it was simply the different atmosphere on Minbar, but I could not ignore the fact that I was likely suffering from some sort of attack of anxiety. Suddenly I knew that if I did not get out of the dining room, if I did not get away from the urn, I would go mad right there, right on that very spot. They would mark the floor as a historical site, the place where the great Emperor Londo Mollari lost his mind and collapsed from the strain of a tormented conscience.