The Lost Steersman (Steerswoman Series) (27 page)

The steerswoman passed a hand through her hair, resisting an impulse to tear at it in frustration. “He hates me. I thought I knew why, but now . . . But, Corey, if Janus cares at all for the town, he must share what he knows. Perhaps if the questions came from the leader of the town’s defense, he’d see that. You might get through to him.”

“If he said nothing, then nothing’s what he knows.”

“He’s hiding something. I think— ” she hesitated to suggest this “— it’s just possible that something he’s doing is actually bringing the demons here.”

Corey straightened and stood regarding her; and Rowan noted that his expression was not one of surprise but of disgust. “Now, that’s not a good thing to be going around saying. Janus been here for years, now. Never had any demons come till lately. Only new thing in town is you. Might as well say that you’re the one bringing them.” He pushed the tray back with perhaps more force than was wise; the stack rocked, earning him a sharp glance from Karin, patrolling along the end of the aisles.

“Corey, where does he go when he sails away? Everyone knows he goes; has he told no one where?”

“He keeps mum. Lots of rumors. He doesn’t say yes or no about them.”

“What about his hands? Handling dead demons irritates the skin— ”

“That’s his and Jilly’s business. Now, look.” He turned back to her. “Whatever trouble you and Janus got between you is yours. People turning on other people for spite, that’s no good.”

She was stunned. “Is that what you think I’m doing?”

“Wouldn’t be the first time sweethearts quarreling tried to stab each other in the back— ”

“He has never been my sweetheart— ”

“But when I see you pulling things out of the air— ”

“Steerswomen do not pull things out of the air!”

He glanced past her; Karin was making her way down the aisle. Corey leaned close, spoke quickly. “So I hear. Rowan, you want to fight alongside us, you’re welcome. Anything else, I’m not interested. Now, let me work. I just don’t want to hear this.”

“And why do you feel we need to hear this?”

The steerswoman took a breath. “You’re the most influential people in town. The decisions you make affect everyone. If people of your importance took interest in this, it might cause Janus to stop being so— so secretive.”

They were gathered by the fireside at the Mizzen, mugs in hand, a deferential serving woman watching sharply from across the room.

Rowan noted that the silence had continued to an uncomfortable duration. Lasker took a breath. “If what you’re saying is true— ”

She said immediately, “Of course it’s true.”

“Sounds like a lot of guesses to me.” One of the weaver brothers.

The bank proprietress lifted her free hand. “Even so, we can’t force him to answer to you. Do you expect us to have it beaten out of him?”

Rowan found that her left hand had tightened to a fist on her knee. “He’s endangering the entire town.”

“Sounds to me like he’s done just the opposite,” Lasker said. “And took a big risk to do it. Town owes him a lot— ”

Dan spoke up quickly. “No less than we owe you, Rowan.” A sideways glance betrayed that this statement was not only for her benefit.

“Of course,” Karin said. “We’re lucky to have such brave people among us—

“Have you heard that Janus used to be a steersman?”

A pause, but no great astonishment. “That rumor seems to be going around, yes . . .”

“He resigned. And he would not explain why.” Rowan set her own mug on the floor, leaned forward. “He gave me an explanation, but I don’t believe it anymore. I think it was because he has been doing something, something he won’t admit to, that he feels he must keep secret. I think it has to do with demons.”

Another lengthy pause, with many glances among the Bosses. “Janus has always been a good citizen.”

“Right. Ever since he come here, done nothing but help.”

“Besides, nothing says any more demons will come by . . .”

“These are wild ideas you have.” This from the spider-wife.

“Well, I wouldn’t put it so, so baldly, myself.” Karin suddenly found her beer fascinating.

“It’s sheer speculation!” The second weaving brother declared; and both nodded stubbornly in unison.

“I assure you,” Rowan said, “a steerswoman does not go about making accusations based on sheer speculation.”

The pause occurred but seemed to get cut short before its natural span. “Even a steerswoman can be mistaken,” Dan said.

“See? That’s true.”

“Nobody’s perfect . . .”

“We won’t interrogate Janus on your behalf,” Karin said. “We need more than this. We can’t help you.”

“Why do you need my help?”

The steerswoman organized her thoughts, took a breath. “Maysie, I know that Janus knows something about demons, something important but he won’t tell me. He won’t speak to me at all. I thought that if it was you who spoke to him, if
you
asked him to at least share what he knows, he might listen. Because he cares for you. Because you’re such close friends.”

Maysie sat back on her heels, a conical sun hat, such as the fieldworkers wore, shading her face. “Yes . . .” She mused, her voice faintly puzzled. “Yes, he does seem to be a friend . . . now.”

Rowan’s planned speech vanished. “Now? You mean— ” She knelt on the grass beside Maysie. “Do you mean recently? Since— ”

“Since,” Maysie said. As if by itself, her right hand came up to lie against her scarred, twisted cheek. “That’s right. Only since.” She dropped her hand, glanced away, then returned her attention to the flower bed before her. “We knew each other, of course,” she said, plying the hand spade. “Everyone in Alemeth knows each other. And he’s always been very charming, but he’s like that with everyone. But, no, we were never close . . .”

“But,” Rowan began, wanting to ask: But then why did he rush to your side as soon as he heard? Why did he hold you, comfort you, treat you as dear? But she could not ask it. Because, if nothing else, it had been a kind act, and Maysie did deserve kindness.

“He’s good to me . . .” Maysie went on. “He runs my errands on the days I can’t face the world. And he comes out with me on the days that I can. It helps.” She set a daffodil bulb into the ground, pushed the earth over it with her hands. “And it helps with the townsfolk, too. I think that seeing Janus treat me well puts a bit of shame in them. Though, I don’t believe that’s his intention . . .”

“What
is
his intention?” Rowan immediately realized that the question, so bluntly stated, could not help but imply that Janus’s motives were suspect.

If Maysie noticed the implication, she chose to ignore it. She answered simply, “I don’t know. And I’m usually good at understanding things unspoken. One learns it, to be successful in my sort of work. I can recognize kindness when I see it, and pity, and it’s neither of those.” Maysie noticed an invading weed, pulled it from the bed with an almost apologetic gentleness. “But all I can tell is that, somehow, now, I’ve become . . . important to him. Precious. Cherished.” She regarded the clods left by the weed, and then carefully patted them back into place. “I know it’s strange. I don’t ask him why. I don’t want to ask. I’m just grateful.”

The steerswoman thought a long time before speaking again. “Can it be guilt?” Maysie turned toward her in surprise. Rowan hurried on. “Maysie, I think this isn’t over, I think more demons will come to Alemeth, and if Janus knows how to help but doesn’t do it— ”

“But he
did
help. I heard how he went after that last one, all on his own— it was so brave, it terrified me!” Maysie sat up, looked at the steerswoman directly, the undamaged side of her face in shade, the ruined side in light. She composed herself and spoke more formally. “He’s a good man, lady, a kind one, and a brave one. I’m sure that if he knew anything that would make a difference, he would tell us.”

Rowan sat silent. At last she sighed and rose. “Just ask him, Maysie. Please. That’s all.”

“I’ll ask, lady. But I don’t think it will help you.”

“What makes you think I can help?”

The steerswoman sighed. “Actually, I don’t know what you could do. Other than mention it to other people. The more people who know, the better. I think I’ve come to you because I must speak to someone, and you’re someone I respect.”

Sitting beside her on his front steps, Arvin made an amused noise, gazed out at his grubby front yard. Happy sounds tumbled out of the open door behind him: Alyssa and the girls, preparing for dinner. “That happens. People fight together, they think good of each other. So, tell me, lady, are you really sure about all this?”

Perhaps because he presented the question in the formal mode, she took the time to calmly review her evidence. Arvin waited with a patience so complete that it reminded her of Bel. “Yes. I’m certain.”

He took some moments himself, perhaps reviewing his own array of facts. “Steerswomen are good at figuring things out. Trained to do it, they are.”

“That’s true.”

He twisted his mouth at his own thoughts. “So, tell me lady, are you a steerswoman?”

She stopped short, speechless. Then: “Yes. Yes, I am.”

“Makes a little puzzle, that does,” he said, not meeting her eye. “If you are, then you can’t lie; if you’re not, then you would. Either way, you’d say the same thing. Too deep for me.” He slapped his knees, sat straighter, turned to her. “Well. I believe you.”

“Thank you. On what are you basing that?”

He shrugged. “Feel, mostly. Nothing else sits right.”

She rubbed her forehead with the heel of her hand. “No wonder people seem so reluctant to take my word. I suppose I can thank Gwen for that.”

“Gwen and Janus.”

“What?”

“That’s right. Last few days.” She stared at him, gape mouthed, as he went on. “I didn’t hear it from him, but I hear it from people who did. He says he used to live in Wulfshaven, and he met you there, and you weren’t a steerswoman then. Then he meets you here, and you say you are. But there’s something about that big training session, I forget what it’s called— ”

“The Academy,” she provided, sheer habit overcoming her astonishment.

“Right. There wasn’t one between now and then. So, he sort of wonders, just thinking out loud, so I hear, how it is you got to be trained. And people are just adding it up.”

“But this is
insane!
” She was on her feet, pacing the dirt in Arvin’s front yard. “Why lie, why lie about me, why lie about
this?
” Her fury was too large to be personal; she felt she was witnessing a crime, a crime against the very concept of the Steerswomen. Rowan’s own membership in that group was irrelevant; it was the concept, the principles, the acts, and the hopes that she loved and believed in.

Nothing equaled her love for that ideal. She thought that, if she had a personality only slightly different, she might even pray to it. And this was like sacrilege.

“What generally happens?”

“What?” It was difficult to draw herself from her outrage.

“When someone says she’s a steerswoman when she’s not. Got to happen sometimes. What do the steerswomen do?”

“Very little.” The specifics ordered themselves and required themselves to be communicated. “If we know it’s happening, we expose the false steerswoman. But how often it happens, we don’t know; unless a steerswoman witnesses it, or hears about it, no report will reach the Prime.”

“But if you do know, all you do is say so? You don’t punish her?”

And she found, quite suddenly, that she was calm again. “All we have is knowledge,” she said simply. “All we have is truth. That’s what we provide.”

He nodded slowly. “Then, it’s up to the locals to deal with her.”

“That’s right. And local situations vary widely.” She had read of a false steerswoman in The Crags being executed; of one in Donner thrown in prison under a law against confidence artists; others being beaten . . . “At the very least, the woman is run out of town by the authorities.”

Quite suddenly she recalled that the subject of this conversation was herself.

Arvin had apparently not lost the thread. He was watching her closely. “And how long was it you planned to stay in Alemeth?”

She would not run. She would not. “At least until Mira’s replacement arrives,” she said slowly. And the new steerswoman could verify Rowan’s authority. “But, Arvin, with this demon business going on, I have to stay. I have to help, I have to try to find out— ”

You’re too intelligent.
Janus, on the docks, that very first night.

She said out loud, “That’s it. He wants me to leave.”

Try not to think too much about what I said
, Janus had said.
I wouldn’t want you to understand it too well .

“He knows that I won’t stop until I understand. Telling me to go away doesn’t work, so he’ll
make
me go away.”

“Would that be so bad?” Arvin put up a hand. “Just for a while. Let the stories run their course and get boring. Let Janus get all comfortable, drop his guard. And when’s this new steerswoman due?”