The Love Letters: A Novella (16 page)

But whatever her reasons were for screwing a stranger on a yacht, she's no longer lost in the big city. Chloe's writing music again, and she even landed a weekly gig at the bar. I need to get her laid more often.

I love that you love my mind. And I love that you won't think I'm shallow when I admit that I love your cock.

XO Nat

July 25, 2003

Sugartits,

My new assignment will keep me away from camp for two weeks. There's no need to worry, we're simply expanding our patrol perimeter. It's safer to travel by foot than by truck, but I kinda like roaming the countryside.

Keep sending letters and photos. The PE at camp will hold them for me until I return. Tell Molly to stop mailing me boxes of cigarettes – I don't smoke – and this isn’t prison. Ask Chloe to set up another photo shoot. This time I want black and white stills of my favorite body parts.

I love you.

Z

August 3, 2003

Lover,

Enjoy the film noir photos and giant box of Pop Tarts.

xo Nat

August 10, 2003

Ma femme,

I have a bad case of the I-miss-your-ass-itis. The only thing that can cure me is a little alone time with your naughty photos. Lucky for me, my bunk mates think I have a stomach virus and were ordered to avoid me for the next twenty-four hours.

I’m not ashamed to tell you that I intend on beating the bishop for at least eighteen of those quarantined hours. Is that crude, Nat? Nah, you love it.

You love being sexually objectified, most strong women do. Knowing that you’re the reason my dick gets hard turns you on – which drives me even crazier – and makes you a fucking goddess. It’s a sexual pyramid in which you hold power. The one being worshipped always has control, ma femme.

Your slave,
Zach

August 15, 2003

Zacharie,

I finally bought a Blackberry! As I was walking home from the Verizon store yesterday, I sent you an email, testing the tower strength Verizon claims to have. Okay, I'm not sure what kind of powers you possess on the other side of the world, but the entire City fucking blacked out. 

Word on the street was another terrorist attack – striking us when it hurt the most – Thursday night Must See TV (ha! Fuck you, Taliban. They were reruns.) Alas, the power came back on a few hours ago and guess who the government is blaming? Canada.

Whatever. The past day has been crazy hot and crazy boring. How do people live without air conditioning or fans?

Hey, remember how I told you Mom was trying to set me up on dates? And remember how she blabbed that it was your idea? What the hell, Zach? I don't want to date anyone! What I need is a casual fuck buddy – can you and Mom find that guy for me?

I'll have you know that your devious plan was foiled because Chloe’s going on the date in my place. Keep trying, mon prince, but you will never get rid of me.

XO Nat

August 27, 2003

My one and only,

I’m heading out on another week-long patrol.

Good news: December furlough is set. Start swimsuit shopping ASAP. In a few short months, we’ll be lounging by the pool of the Waikiki Hilton. Christmas in Hawaii, Nat – what great luck.

Bad news: the next few months are tricky. I’m not sure if you watch the news (which you shouldn’t) but things are slightly intense over here. The people we’re protecting don’t want us here, and therefore, my assignments and patrols can change without notice. There’s nothing to worry about, but communication will be difficult. Keep sending me letters and packages – it will be awesome to return to base and have things to open from you. Just promise me you won’t fill any more envelopes with confetti – I have an image, Nat.

What else?

Oh, yeah.

Remember the thing we need to discuss that neither one of us wants to bring up? Nat, you’re a very sexual person – which is one of the reasons we make sense. And it would be selfish of me to assume or demand that you refrain from any extracurricular fun while I’m away.

What we have is special – a captivation of souls. Tu es mon étoile et ma balise. Natalie LeGrange, tu es ma femme.

Love,

Zacharie

September 5, 2003

Zach,

I’m choosing to ignore all the bad things and focus on the good news. Hawaii!

I mailed you a package of all your favourite snacks. I also bought you a cell phone with an international data plan – but Dad told me that Afghanistan has maybe one cell tower in the entire country. What the actual fuck? There’s also a new iPod filled with music – like 400 songs! Chloe picked most of them, but I’m sure you’ll recognize our songs.

Anyway, I followed your request and eliminated the confetti, but I did bubble wrap the shit out of the contents. Enjoy.

Did I mention Chloe has a boyfriend? Fate is a crazy bitch, huh? Remember how Chloe went on that blind date Mom set up for me? Well, that dude was a dork, but she did find the guy of her dreams. His name is Adam, and I’m meeting him next week at Chloe’s show.

Back to Hawaii . . .

I bought a red bikini and a black one piece for snorkeling. I also bought the most beautiful lingerie – see enclosed photos in package.

I love you, Zach Parker.

XO Nat

September 11, 2003

Ma femme,

Today marks the day it all changed. Aunt Patty let me know that Mom was added to the list of 9/11 victims and her name will be read at the Remembrance Ceremony. That’s good, I guess – but shit, does it even matter anymore?

I’m fighting a fucking war so Mom’s name can be read as a victim of the war I’m fighting. There’s just something wrong with the idealism behind this shit. I’m so ready to come home.

Life as I know it goes like this: Our tent is collapsible and portable. We roam around the mountains, or the occasional barren poppy field like a gang of boy scouts. We sing songs, play cards, and pretend our MREs are cheeseburgers and chili fries. I’ve tried to take as many photos as possible of my squad being complete jackasses – oh, and there’s a few of Gumby the goat . . . but I won’t have a chance to upload them until I get back to base.

Shit, I miss base. Being on base was like Camp Anawanna from Salute Your Shorts, and being on a mission is like a boring episode of M.A.S.H. I spent all that time hating Camp Hammond, but now I would kill (it’s a joke – I haven’t killed anyone) to get back there to play a game of hoops and take a hot shower. Don’t be scared or disgusted – that case of hand sanitizer was a big hit with the guys. Although they prefer the pictures of you in that yellow bikini from the Fourth. But more than anything, it’s monotonous and tedious, and I cannot wait to come home to you in that yellow bikini.

Not a day goes by that I don’t dream of devouring your soft skin. Not a day goes by that I don’t fantasize about a plate of Virgil’s barbecue. In that order of course – or simultaneously for fun.

There she is! Laugh for me Natalie.

I come out here at night so I can see your star. The guys think I’m a creeper staring up at the sky – but they don’t understand. Keep smiling, ma femme, your star is brighter than ever. My pleasure from the pain – my beacon. Never apologize for being you.

No regrets,

Zach