The Low Notes (28 page)

“
Where have you been? I’ve been calling and calling. No one's home
.
I had no way to get a hold of you. Do you know how scared I’ve been thinking something happened to you after I left last night? I’ve been up all night! I’ve been waiting
here
since five in the morning! Where the hell were you?” James yelled.

Nina’s back was pressed against her car, startled by his outburst. She believed he hadn’t slept, he looked ragged and like he’d downed more than a few cups of coffee. Her thoughts were racing, trying to pull something out of thin air to tell him. An excuse or a lie. Her eyes were wide and her mouth gaped as she stammered and struggled to find the words to explain.

James’ eyes squinted and for a moment he seemed to be calm. He looked her up then down in confusion as Nina stood speechless.

“
What are you wearing?” he asked skeptically.

Nina’s mouth opened and a tiny squeak escaped in place of a reply.

Suddenly James’ face grew grave as he drew in a breath before speaking. “Nina you didn’t...”

Nina couldn’t determine if it was a question, a statement, or merely a hope on James’ part. But yes, she had and she knew her eyes, if not Kevin‘s clothes, had already given her away.

“
I’m not sure what you want me to say.” She was finally able to let her brain and mouth work in harmony.

James backed away from her a few steps and shook his head. He kept his gaze off his best friend and locked on the ground, clearly shocked by the reality setting in. Nina’s stomach was churning and she wanted to reach out to James, calm him, make him see what was between her and Kevin wasn’t wrong.

“
I’m glad you’re alive. I’ve gotta go,” James said, walking off.

“
Wait!”

He spun on his heels, feet away from her in the yard. “It’s fine. It’s your life. But it’s not going to end well between you two and I don‘t want to see you get hurt.”

“
Who said anything about it ending?” she said, raising her voice, anger rushing to the surface.

“
Well he got what he wanted so I imagine it’ll be any day now,” James spat.

Nina gasped and felt a burn in her chest. “You don’t want to see me get hurt so you say
that
? God, weren’t you the one who said you’d be having the
time of your life
sleeping with a teacher? You thought it was so exciting, so mysterious and sexy before you knew it was real. Well guess what James, he
does
love me, just like you suspected months ago. And I love him, too.”

James stared at her, blank faced, unable to retort. Nina felt her blood boiling, angry at James for his unfair assessment of Kevin and for his cruelty. Her night with Kevin had been a dream come true but she hadn’t imagined she'd be dealing with the fallout so soon.

“
I’m really happy for you, Nina. See you at school,” James’ words were flat as he made his way to his car, not looking at Nina. “Guess I’ll see your boyfriend there, too.”

Before she could speak he was closed in his car and starting the ignition. He glared at her once more with a stone face before speeding away. Nina’s stomach twisted but she tried to shake the feeling. She was happy. She forced herself to remember that.

Nina went up to her room and sat motionless on her bed for what seemed like hours. She thought of everything she’d ever been through with James. Every first they’d divulged to each other and every tear they'd shed with one another. Would it all be ruined? The sun eventually went down and she was yanked from her trance when her bedroom door opened. It was her father.

“
Nina?”

Nina turned to him slowly, her eyes glazed and her mouth tight. She’d lost track of his travel schedule. She had no idea when he was coming or going.

“
I'm back.”

Nina nodded, annoyed by the unnecessary statement and the truth of the matter.

“
And your sister just told me the most wonderful news. She and Blake are engaged to be married!”

Greta was in the hall behind their father with a smirk on her face, Blake just behind her. Nina's father turned to them and put an arm around each of them with a wide smile on his face. They were just out of her doorway when Nina heard her sister start asking about a date and a budget and of course a quickly thrown together engagement party.

As soon as they were out of sight, Nina dialed his number and waited for Kevin’s voice.

“
Hi,” she whispered.

“
Hey, you okay?” he asked.

“
I am now.”

Chapter Sixty-One

April

Nina was sitting in her room staring at her blank computer screen which should have been a half written assignment for her government class. Instead, her mind wandered to James and his icy stare as he drove off into the morning fog a week ago. The daggers he shot at her with his eyes in the halls at school. They hadn’t spoken a word to each other since then. It was the longest they'd ever gone without talking.

Meanwhile she and Kevin hadn’t been able to get enough of each other. She was at his door as fast as she could be each afternoon when school let out and she was on the phone with him every night before drifting into dreams of his face. Kevin had become the ultimate escape from the rest of her life. When she was with him, in his arms or listening to him speak, she didn’t have to think about the hatred that seemed to be building in James. She could let bliss envelope her and keep her mind off the racket her sister had been making talking about lilies and crystal, lavender linens and scalloped lace veils.

Her cell phone began to rumble, moving across the white wooden desktop. She looked down at the ID and smiled. “Hello?”

“
Hey beautiful,” Kevin gushed.

Nina sighed. “It’s good to hear your voice.”

“
Why, what’s going on?” Kevin asked.

“
Just stressing a little. The engagement party is tonight. I’ve locked myself in my room with homework just to stay away from Bridezilla,” she laughed.

Kevin chuckled and Nina’s heart warmed, already more at ease.

“
Maybe you could sneak away after the party and lock yourself in a room with me?” He mumbled the sentence and Nina grinned picturing him with a goofy smile.

“
Maybe,” she said coyly.

“
Alright, try not to kill your sister and call me later.”

Nina agreed to try and regretfully hung up which left her staring at the blank screen again. With his voice gone from her mind for just minutes, thoughts of James crept back in and she felt a wave of dread flood her, thinking about having to see him at the party.

****

She could hear the festivities starting downstairs and knew she should join her family and put on a happy face. Taking a last look at herself in the powder blue shantung tea length dress, she slipped on her silver shoes and opened her bedroom door. She nearly ran right into the body that stood in front of her. He had his fist raised as if he were about to knock when Nina was suddenly staring into his eyes.

“
Nina. You look amazing,” Todd sighed, eyeing her up and down.

She huffed and forced a smile. Nina didn’t feel like fighting, she just wanted to make her appearance at the party and find a way to sneak out to be with Kevin. “Thanks,” she replied, moving past him.

Todd slipped his hand into hers and spun her around and back to face him again, closer now than before.

“
I’ve been wanting a moment alone with you. Can we talk?” He made puppy eyes at her and she felt him smoothing his thumb over the back of her hand. It took all she had not to laugh in his face. Todd’s delusions about rekindling their romance were enough to make Nina double over in hysterics, but she resisted.

“
I really need to get downstairs, what kind of sister of the bride would I be if I missed the engagement party?” Nina pulled away again and started down the steps, silently praying Todd would take a hint and mingle with the rest of the family friends that filled her home.

“
Later then?” he asked.

Nina turned around at the bottom of the stairs and smiled and nodded to him. Anything to shut him up. She rounded the corner to the large living room where the majority of the guests were and her eyes stopped on James. He was standing next to the grand piano with a smile on his face, talking to Nina’s father. They were sharing a laugh when his gaze drifted and he saw Nina standing alone, staring at him. She lowered her eyes in shame and began picking at her fingers, holding back tears.

She looked up and he was before her, the same melancholy in his eyes.

“
Wanna take a walk?” he asked, grabbing her hand, not waiting for an answer. Nina nodded and breathed deep to keep her tears at bay. The air on the back deck was cool but Nina could feel summer coming.
Summer
, she mused
. The end of it all.

“
James, I...” Nina started but he held a hand up to stop her. His eyes were soft as he leaned against the railing of the deck for a moment, collecting his thoughts.

“
I was mean. I was really mean and I‘m sorry,” he said. He folded his arms across his chest and sighed. “You’re my best friend and you’ve always accepted every part of me and I want to be able to do the same for you. But I can't be a part of what you're doing. Can we just pretend I don't know?”

Nina’s face contorted and her mouth opened silently before she found her words. “Are you serious?”

He sucked in a breath and blinked slowly. “I love you Nina but I kind of think the less I know, the better.”

She mindlessly let her head bob. “I understand.”

“
I knew you would. Now let’s get back to that party,” James’ tone changed to his normal joking self and Nina continued to wear a mask of a smile. She was right back to the beginning, with no one to talk to about the most important thing happening to her, once again forced to be two separate Nina’s.

****

The party dragged on with Nina glancing at the clock every few minutes wanting desperately to be at Kevin’s side. Todd persisted with his attempts to get her alone but she successfully evaded him every time. She toasted her sister and Blake like a good girl and posed for family snapshots. All the while, her heart ached to be somewhere else. Guests were slowly trickling out the front door, leaving for the night so Nina took the time her father was distracted with good-byes to head outside, too. She glanced around and with cars pulling off the side of the street in front of her house, no one seemed to be paying any attention to her. She regretted staying in her heels but started walking down the street anyway. He was only a few blocks away. The weather was nice enough to walk and she figured she could use the fresh air to clear her head.

“
Hey Cinderella! Running off from the ball so soon?” His voice sent a cold chill up her spine.
Shit
, she thought before turning to see Todd chasing her down the block.

“
Just getting some air,” she muttered. Her reached her and grinned from ear to ear.

“
Why don’t I join you?”

Nina huffed and shook her head exasperatedly. “Oh, why the hell not?”

“
Nina, there’s something I want to talk to you about.” His tone suddenly changed and she sensed in him a shyness she was completely taken aback by. Todd was the most overconfident boy she’d ever known and yet now he was fidgeting at her side and looked as though he was struggling for words.

Nina stopped and turned to him with a confused look. She wanted to tell him to spit it out already. Todd stopped too and before Nina had a moment to ask him what his problem was, his arms were around her. His lips pressed firmly against hers in a sneak attack kiss that she couldn’t shrug away from fast enough.

She managed to push him off of her angrily before he tried to deepen the kiss.

“
What are you doing!?”

Todd stood with his mouth gaping and his eyes wide. “I love you, Nina.”

Nina’s face twisted in horror and she snapped. A fire grew in her eyes and she threw her hands in the air and began speaking to the sky.

“
Are you fucking kidding me? It’s just one joke after another, isn’t it? Why can‘t you just leave me alone?” she screamed.

“
Um, w-who are you talking to?” Todd asked dumbfounded.

She let out another angry rumble and started stomping back to her house, “I don’t know! God. The Universe. You!”

Todd was close behind her, trying to keep up as she stamped her feet into the sidewalk getting home as fast as she could.

“
It’s not a joke, Nina. I’m in love with you. I want us to be together again. There could be a party for
us
someday, you know?” He choked the words out, still keeping a bashful sense about him.

Nina spun around to meet his eyes when she reached her front door again and he saw the rage filling her.

“
There will
never
be a party for us. Go home, Todd!” she growled at him. Throwing open the front door, she snatched her car keys off the table in the foyer and yelled to whoever might be listening inside.