The Magnificent Rogue (17 page)

He turned on his heel and stalked off into the darkness.

She jumped to her feet and ran after him. “Why are you so angry? I did nothing wrong. One of the blades is a trifle dirty, but I can—”

“Stay away from me.”

“But I did nothing wrong, and it’s not fair for you to—”

“Be silent.”

“I won’t be quiet. I want to know why you’re—”

He whirled and grasped her shoulders and shook her. “You did nothing wrong! You could have—” He stopped as he saw the expression on her face.

She had gone still. “You were worried about me?” she asked. Then a brilliant smile lit her face. “That is very … pleasant.”

“Is it?”

She nodded. “I don’t remember anyone ever being concerned about me before. Carolyn, perhaps, but that was a long time ago.” She took a step closer, her gaze eagerly searching his face. “I told you we would become friends, didn’t I?”

“That’s what you told me.”

“And it’s true. Have we not talked and become companionable? Oh, you’ve been most peculiar for the past few days, but now I understand. You were probably concerned about me then also.”

He could feel the warmth of her body reaching out to him through her woolen cloak and the gown beneath it. He should release her, drop his hands from her shoulders. “Was I?”

“Of course. And now you worry about me as a true friend would, as you would for Gavin.”

“Why do you keep making comparisons? You’re not Gavin.”

Her smile dimmed a bit. “I believe you’re still angry at me for frightening you. I was quite safe, but I will promise not to use Gavin’s knives again if I can
find something else. The problem was that I had no balls or apples or potatoes.”

Something seemed to explode inside him. “No balls or apples or potatoes,” he said through his teeth. “What a pity.” He jerked her to him. “Perhaps I should give you something else to amuse you.” His hands grasped her hips, and he pulled her against him, letting her feel the hard, jutting strength of his arousal. He rubbed yearningly, sensuously, against her softness, feeling himself swell and grow in dimension. He wanted to loose himself and drag her down to the ground and enter and plunge and rut like an animal. “Shall I furnish you with another toy to keep you occupied?”

He felt her stiffen against him. “Why are you doing this?”

His hands moved around to cup her buttocks, keeping her immobile. She felt so good against him. A shudder racked through him. “Because I’m not your mother or your father or your friend. You told me once if you learned everything about your mother, you’d find a way to make her care for you. Do you think I don’t know that’s what you’ve been trying to do to me? Well, you can’t do it. You’re not coming any closer. If you need a friend, go to Gavin, not to me.” He was growing painfully heavier with every word. He couldn’t keep on for much longer. “I tried to tell you that, and you wouldn’t listen. Do I have your attention now?”

She was too close for him to see her face. He didn’t want to see her face. He didn’t want to see the disappointment come and the eagerness leave. “Yes,” she whispered.

“Good. Then hear me now. If you don’t wish to occupy my bed, then stay away from me. I will have no more of this.” He released her and strode away from her, careful not to look back.

He knew how she would look—lonely, desolate, as she had when he had comforted her the night after the mermaid dream. He could not help it if she was disappointed.
How could she expect him to be what she wanted him to be? He was a man, with a man’s needs. It was time she knew there was no place for her in his life other than the temporary carnal one he had first chosen for her.

She would not cry. She’d been foolish, and foolish women deserved to be hurt. Kate drew her cloak closer around her as she gazed blindly into the shadows where Robert had disappeared.

It had all been a dream wrought by her own eagerness and longing. She could see that now. She had deliberately blinded herself, and that must never happen again.

She turned heavily away and started back toward the fire. He had never wanted anything from her but that carnal closeness that men always wanted from women. He had always made that clear, and she had been too stubborn to accept it. She would go to sleep and let slumber heal the hurt. She would come to terms with this pain and be fine by morning.

It was not as if she lost anything that had really been hers.

Robert woke in the middle of the night to see Kate kneeling beside him.

“Shh … Don’t wake Gavin.” She swallowed and then said haltingly, “This won’t take long. I have … to speak to you.”

“Couldn’t it wait until morning?”

“No, I cannot sleep. I wish to apologize for being so stupid. I realize now how troublesome I’ve been to you. You see … I had been alone too long.” She paused, then continued. “It was because you were strong, I think. Sebastian was strong, but his strength was always used against me. Then you came … and you were strong and yet you were so kind to Gavin. It seemed … wonderful to me. I wanted it, so I tried to
take it. I didn’t care what you wanted.” She added with sudden fierceness, “But you didn’t care what I wanted either.”

He had cared. He had been aware of her desperate hunger to be close to someone after those years of loneliness and repression. He had just been unable to give her what she needed.

“You were right, I tried to mold you into what I wanted you to be.” She smiled without mirth. “But you wouldn’t fit into the mold.”

He wanted to reach out and touch her. He did not. “I believe you should go back to your blankets.”

“Soon. I have to finish this before I can go on. I lived a life of lies with Sebastian, and I will never do that again. He tried to mold me as I did you. I’m ashamed to have acted as he did.” She shrugged. “In truth, I should probably thank you. Sebastian built a shell around me, and you broke through it.”

“I had nothing to do with it.” It had not been so much a shell as a cocoon from which an exquisite and wonderful butterfly had emerged and tried her tentative wings. “You broke through it yourself.”

She lifted her chin. “You’re right, I did it. I can have anything, be anything, I want to be. I never really needed your strength. I’m not a child. I don’t need anything from you.”

He stared at her without speaking.

“That’s all. I just wished you to know my foolishness is over and that I won’t bother you again. When we reach Craighdhu, we must try to work out an arrangement to see as little of each other as possible.” She rose brusquely to her feet. “Good night.”

He gazed after her as she went to her blankets. He could almost see the walls of pride and hurt rise around her, shutting him out. The eager, open child of these past days was gone. He should be pleased, dammit. She would no longer trail after him, talking and gesturing, asking him questions, trying to make him into something
he could never be. She would distance herself and no longer be a constant temptation to him. It was not likely, but he might even be able to reach Craighdhu without bedding her.

He should be pleased.

Edinburgh

“It is absurd,” James said impatiently to Sebastian Landfield. “You cannot expect me to believe such a tale.”

“I realized it would be difficult to comprehend, so I took the liberty of bringing a few of the letters Her Majesty sent me through the years regarding the girl’s upbringing.” Sebastian withdrew the documents from beneath his cloak and presented them to the king. “I’m sure you’ve received personal letters from Her Majesty and can compare the script.”

James did not bother to unfold the letters. “And even if it’s true, the girl can be no threat to me.”

“She is a threat to all who believe in John Knox.”

“She is a Catholic?” James asked swiftly.

“Not at the moment. I’ve trained her to be a good Protestant, but she is weak and sinful like her mother. It would take little to sway her into the devil’s camp. I need not tell you what chaos she could bring down upon both our lands if she tries to lure your Catholic barons under her spell.” Sebastian lowered his voice. “And she could lure them, Your Majesty. Imagine your mother, young and winsome but with a fire that Mary never possessed, and you have Kathryn.”

James bit his lower lip with annoyance. It was not fair, he thought peevishly. He had just rid himself of one rival, and now there was this new problem on the horizon. A young, winsome, fiery Mary. He, too, was
young, but the image in his mirror reflected neither winsomeness nor fire, and his countrymen were easily influenced by both.

And Elizabeth had compounded the danger by marrying the wench to MacDarren. The earl had been a constant source of irritation to him for the last few years and would not hesitate to cause more.

“You will take action, Your Majesty?” the vicar asked.

“I will think about it.”

“You must act immediately, while she is still young and uncertain of her powers.”

“I said I would think about it,” James snapped. “You said MacDarren is taking her to Craighdhu?”

“He mentioned only Scotland, Your Majesty.”

“For him Craighdhu is Scotland.” James stood up and moved toward the window. “And I might as well be his subject for all he cares for my consequence.”

“Then being wed to a man such as he will make her an even greater danger.”

“I know, I know,” he said impatiently. “How can I even be sure this tale is true?”

“The letters should—”

“The letters are not proof enough. Has the child been with you since birth?”

Sebastian shook his head. “Kathryn was given to me at the age of three. Before that, she was cared for by a wet nurse, a woman named Clara Merkert.”

“In your village?”

“No, she lived in Bourse.”

“Does she still?”

Sebastian frowned. “I have no idea.”

“I’ll send a troop to bring her here.”

“The woman may not even be alive,” he protested.

“I must have proof there’s true danger before I move against MacDarren. The nurse is the key.”

“Then it must be done quietly. Her Majesty will
not be pleased to have one of her servants taken by you.”

“Do you think I don’t know that? I need no advice from an Englishman. I will look into the matter.”

Sebastian bowed. “I will await news. I’m lodging at an inn near the palace. You will have the goodness to keep me informed?”

James nodded curtly. “But I cannot promise any degree of speed.”

“I will wait.” Sebastian bowed again and backed from the room.

James grimaced as he turned away from the window. How he detested these religious zealots with their burning eyes and equally burning determination. But this particular fanatic might have done him a service. He certainly could not have royal bastards roaming about the countryside at this delicate time. His countrymen were not at all pleased at his lack of action to prevent his mother’s execution, and the whole country could be fanned into flames with a mere breath. Well, what had they expected? Was he to let his mother grab the English throne from beneath his nose? It was all her fault. If she had not involved herself in a conspiracy against Elizabeth, he would not have been put in this awkward position.

And now he had his dear mother’s bastard with whom to contend, and he must not be connected with the inevitable demise of that particular threat. The matter must be handled by someone utterly trustworthy and devoted to him.

He turned and walked quickly to the desk across the chamber, sat down, and dipped his quill into the inkwell. It was fortunate he had such a loyal servant as Alec Malcolm sitting on MacDarren’s doorstep. He felt a tiny thrill of excitement at the thought of seeing Alec again. He had been most upset when Alec had deserted the court and gone back to his estates in that Highland wilderness and had been thinking of inventing an excuse
to call Alec back to his side anyway. He had always been attracted to strong, dominant men, and Alec’s driving ambition was an added charm in his eyes. Yes, he would send for Alec and, as soon as he arrived, put the troublesome matter of the girl into his capable hands. He began to write.

“
H
e’ll get over it
,” Gavin said in a low voice as he lifted Kate onto her horse the next morning. “You scared him last night. It’s natural for a man to strike out when he’s afraid.”

She tried to smile at him as she gathered the reins. “Thank you for your concern, but you need not worry.”

“Oh, no.” Gavin smiled ruefully. “You’re pale and pinched as a corpse, and Robert has buried himself so deep, I can’t even talk to him. Nothing is at all wrong.”

She carefully avoided glancing at Robert as he mounted his horse. Even if she looked at him, she would see nothing for her. All during the morning meal he had been as cool and remote as those mountains they were going to climb today.

“You don’t understand,” Gavin said urgently. “He didn’t mean to—He’s not a cruel man.”

No, it was not cruel to reject what you did not want. It was Gavin who did not understand. It had been her own fault, her own stupidity and blindness, but she did not have to continue being stupid. “How far is it to Craighdhu?”