The Magnificent Rogue (29 page)

“I’ve not been a countess long enough to be offended by disrespect.” Kate said. “But I can’t argue that I find you annoying,” she added bluntly. “Just listen to you. You’re even telling me the proper manner to dismiss you. Do you wish to go away?”

“Why should I wish to leave? I’m very comfortable here.”

“Then I see no reason why we cannot work together,” Kate replied. “I do wish to learn from you, but in my own way and time. If you can accept that, we can try again.”

“I cannot promise to stop guiding you in the direction you should go,” Deirdre said crisply.

“And I will not promise I won’t tell you to go about your tasks and leave me alone.”

“Fair enough.” Deirdre looked up and met her gaze. “Is that all?”

It was all Kate had come to say, but she had a curious reluctance to leave Deirdre yet. “Do you mind if I stay and watch you?”

A flicker of surprise crossed her face. “If you like. But don’t expect me to converse with you. As I said, this pattern demands attention.”

“And light.” Kate’s gaze went to the dozens of candles that had startled her when she had first entered the room. “You said we use a good many candles.”

Deirdre stiffened. “I have Robert’s permission to use as many as I wish. I have no time for weaving during the day, and I make many fine things to bring comfort to this great barn of a castle.”

“I don’t doubt it. I’ve seen many of them. I was not accusing you of waste.”

Deirdre relaxed and turned back to her loom.

“But I would think you’d be too weary to weave so late at night.”

“I need only a few hours sleep a night to rest me. I’ve always had a great deal of energy.”

That was a huge understatement, Kate thought ruefully. “That’s a beautiful design. I’ve never seen a barbed flower like that before.”

“It’s not a flower, it’s a snowflake.”

“Oh.” She had clearly made a big mistake. She was silent a moment before cautiously venturing, “A purple snowflake?”

Deirdre did not answer.

Kate tried again. “It’s a lovely shade of purple anyway. What plant did you get the dye from?”

“The root of the bell heather.”

Heather again. “Robert told me there was no end to heather’s uses.”

“He’s right. Depending upon its age, it also gives me yellow, orange, and gray-green dyes.”

“Where did you learn to weave so well?”

“From my mother, and she learned it from her mother,” Deirdre said. “By the time I could scarce walk, they started to teach me the way of it.”

“I was taught spinning and weaving, too, as a
child, but I never dreamed of creating anything this fine.”

“Because you did it for necessity. I did it for the trade.”

“And that makes a difference?”

She nodded. “The trade was everything in my village. If the work was fine enough, then a house was paid a shilling bonus for every bolt of material. Naturally, every household strove to earn that bit of extra.”

“And I’m sure you always made that extra shilling.”

“Of course. I was the best weaver in the village,” she said matter-of-factly.

“How many families in your village worked in the trade?”

“Nearly all of them. The women wove the fabric, and the men raised sheep.”

“And they all sold to Craighdhu?”

She nodded. “The MacDarrens have always been fair to us. We trust them.”

“Even Jock Candaron?”

She glanced at Kate. “They told you he killed my husband?”

“It surprised me that you came to Craighdhu.”

“I bore him no ill will. My husband was a bully and a drunkard. He was always brawling. One day he picked on the wrong man.” She shrugged. “I had just lost a child and was too ill to work. Jock Candaron brought me here and had me nursed until I was well again. After that, he offered to send me back to Ireland, but I chose to stay here.”

“Why? You don’t appear to have a fondness for it.”

“One place is much like another.”

“I don’t agree.”

She smiled faintly. “No, you’re like the rest here. You think there’s no place on earth as fair as this storm-tossed rock.”

“Why did you choose to stay on this storm-tossed rock?”

Deirdre ignored the question and said sternly, “I told you I could not talk to you, and yet you plague me with questions. If you stay, you must be silent and not bother me.”

Deirdre had not considered it a bother until the questions had become more personal in nature, Kate noted as her gaze went to the snowflake pattern on the quilt. Deirdre was a little like that snowflake, serene and yet barbed, substance one moment and melting out of reach the next.

Kate rose to her feet. “I’ll leave you to your work. May I come again tomorrow night and watch you?”

Deirdre met her gaze. “Why would you want to?”

She was not sure herself, but there was something vaguely pleasant sitting here by the fire with the scent of burning wood and candles drifting to her while she unraveled the guarded puzzle of Deirdre O’Connell. It could be that she had never had a woman friend except Carolyn and was lonely for that companionship. Good God, she could not have chosen a woman less likely to assuage that need. “Sometimes I cannot sleep. It would be pleasant to have company. May I come?”

Deirdre looked away from her. “You’re mistress here. You may do anything you wish.”

“May I come?” she asked again.

Deirdre started moving the shuttle. “Very well, come. It makes no difference to me.”

“Did you like being a weaver?” Kate asked.

“A woman always likes doing something she can do better than anyone else.”

“But if you did nothing but weave all day …”

“It was only monotonous when I had to repeat the pattern over and over. I grew very bored with the MacDarren tartan.” She added quickly, “Though no one turned out a finer plaid than I.”

“I’m sure of that.”

“And even when I was a child, I liked the waulking.”

“Waulking?”

“After the wool is dyed and woven, it has to be stretched, and all the children would gather to do it, and there would be singing and joking.…” Her smile faded. “But that changed when I grew older and they saw what an excellent weaver I’d become. I was allowed to do nothing else. My father wanted both the shillings and the honor of turning out the finest goods in the village. He was no different from the other men. The trade was everything, and the men of the family ruled the trade.” She shrugged. “I was never a handsome lass, but all the lads in the village were after my hand. They knew what a fine provider I’d be.”

“Did your father arrange your marriage?”

She snorted. “Why should he marry me off when I had such value for him? No, I chose Sean myself. He was a big, handsome man, with a pleasing way about him. I paid no heed to the stories about his drunkenness.” She suddenly bent over the loom. “Be silent now until I finish this bit.”

Kate knew very well by now that Deirdre could master any difficulty in the pattern with her eyes closed, and this was only a signal she wished to drop a subject. Kate had learned much about the woman in the hours she’d spent in this candlelit room during the last week, and she was sure Deirdre had learned an equal amount about her. She was still sometimes tentative in the housekeeper’s company, but those times were becoming less frequent. “You never told me why you chose to stay here at Craighdhu.”

“It’s as good as any other place. I could be busy here.”

“You were the finest weaver in your village. Surely you were busy there also.”

“Yes, but I know the loom so well, it takes no
thought.” She looked down at the coverlet. “If your mind is empty, the memories come. It’s a foolish woman who lets the past come knocking, if she doesn’t want to let it in.”

“The child?” Kate asked softly.

For a moment Kate didn’t think she would answer, but then Deirdre nodded jerkily. “I wanted a babe. I was barren for fourteen years. When I found myself with child, I thought it was a miracle” The shuttle moved faster. “Sean was happy about the babe. A man is always proud when he can get a woman with child. Then he got drunk one night, and his pride didn’t matter as much as his lack of money. I was ill most of the time while carrying the babe and wasn’t producing as much as I had before. He beat me, and I lost the child.” Her hands halted in their movement, and she gazed unseeingly down at the shuttle. “I’ve been clumsy. I’ll have to start this section again.”

Kate got to her feet. “I’m distracting you. Perhaps I’d better leave you and go to bed.”

“You’re being kind,” Deirdre said. “You needn’t go because you think I may weep. I don’t weep anymore. I work.” The shuttle moved again. “There’s great satisfaction in work. It gives you purpose.”

For the first time Kate was beginning to understand that almost frantic energy that drove Deirdre.

“And fulfillment,” Deirdre continued. “A woman needs nothing else, if she knows her own worth.”

Deirdre was clinging to work as Kate had clung to her dream of a home. But Deirdre had closed herself off from the truth Kate had discovered.

“You’re wrong,” Kate said quietly. “I once thought as you did, but there are other needs as important. We can’t hide away and live alone. It’s hollow without others to share it.”

“A husband?” Deirdre smiled bitterly. “I rejoiced when I was released from that bondage. Do you think that was the first time he beat me? I was a woman, and
so could be used and punished when I did not fulfill expectations. No one in my village thought of punishing him because he killed my child. Just because you have a fine man is no reason to believe it is—” She stopped as she saw Kate’s closed expression. “I know you fought with Robert before he left, but you must not let that poison you. He’s a good man. I’ve watched him these many years and have never found him cruel or greedy. Believe me, I have no liking for most men, so my words have value.” She grimaced. “Of course, he’s impatient on occasion, but I tend to arouse that response.”

Kate stood up and started for the door. “I think it’s time I retired. I’ll see you in the morning, Deirdre.”

Deirdre gave her a dry smile. “By all means, you must not get overweary. Good night, Kate.”

A few minutes later Kate stood at her chamber window looking out over the sea. She had not fooled Deirdre; the housekeeper had known Kate had left to avoid discussing Robert. She must rid herself of this impulse to run away every time Robert was mentioned. She had no right to lesson Deirdre on hiding when she was doing the same thing herself. In truth, she had no real quarrel with the meat of Deirdre’s solution. Work did bring forgetfulness, and God knows, she desperately wished to forget both Robert and their time together.

But she had no wish to close out the people of Craighdhu. With every passing day she was drawing closer to the clan. They were beginning to accept her, to draw her into their circle. She wished Deirdre could have the benefit of that warmth. In these last days Kate had learned to admire and like Deirdre. The woman would not admit it, but at times she must feel terribly alone. If only the villagers could ignore her arrogant self-assurance and accept her for her virtues. No one was more clever or fair or hardworking than Deirdre. She had so much to give them, and they her. It was a pity that—

Kate inhaled sharply, her hands tightening on the oak windowsill as a sudden thought occurred to her.

Was it possible?

“Can we do it?” Kate eagerly asked Gavin.

“I believe you’ve already made up your mind on that subject,” Gavin said. “Affirmation on my part is hardly necessary.”

She grinned. “But it would be pleasant to have your support.”

“You know you’ll have it.” Gavin smiled. “But I’ll need Ian’s help to deal with the carpenters. I suppose you’ve already chosen the women?”

“Meg Kildare, Sarah and Mary Cameron, Catherine Mactavish, Elspeth MacDonald. I’ve already spoken to them and they’re agreeable,” she added, “but I want you to go visit their husbands and explain what a fine thing this will be for them.”

Gavin sighed. “I’ll see what I can do.”

“You’ll do very well.” Kate moved toward the door. “You can be very persuasive when you try.”

“No more than you. When do you speak to Deirdre?”

“Tonight.” She would need more than persuasiveness to convince Deirdre, and the woman seemed to be most approachable during those hours they spent together in her chamber.

“Don’t you think you should have spoken to her first?”

Kate shook her head. “I wanted to get everything in place.”

Gavin nodded. “I can see why. She’s going to be the most difficult obstacle you’ll overcome. I don’t envy you.”

“You’re very quiet tonight,” Deirdre said as she sent her shuttle flying. “Did Gavin bring you disturbing news?”

“No.” Kate’s hands, which were clasping her knees,
nervously clenched as again the reed thwacked on the loom, forcing the thread in place. Ordinarily, she found the heavy, rhythmic sound soothing. Tonight it only increased her edginess as she tried to find a way to broach the subject. “I suppose you could say I brought disturbing news to him.”

Deirdre smiled and said nothing.

“You’re not going to ask what news?”

“You’ll tell me when it suits you. You’re not one to keep your silence when something is bothering you. Everything has to come blurting out.”

“It’s really not bothering me. It’s just something I—Yes, it is.” She drew a deep breath. “I wish you to teach the women of Craighdhu your skill in weaving.”

Deirdre did not change expression. “Indeed.”

“I thought we would start with five women, and when you feel they’re competent, then you could teach five more.”

“This is nonsense. I have no time for it.”

“It’s true you’d need to spend at least four hours a day with the women, and you’d have to work harder than you ever did in your life,” Kate agreed. “But I don’t believe you’d mind the work. Perhaps we could get more help from the village, and I’ll do all I can. I have learned a great deal about managing things here at the castle.”

At last the shuttle stopped, and Deirdre turned to look at her. “Why? What is your purpose in doing this?”

“I see no reason why you Irish should reap all the profits. Surely, Scottish women are not so stupid they cannot learn to do as well.”