One cousin is dead, another is quite a sick one. That is not so strange as they are then in the middle of their middle living, it is not strange and yet it is certainly something one is not wishing to have happening just then. It is natural that when there are very many of a family living and very many cousins and some aunts and uncles living that sometimes some of them should be sick ones, even that once in a while one of them should come to be a dead one. In a way it is a strange thing because very often for many years not any one in the family connection is a seriously sick one, not any one is ever thinking of any one they are then knowing as any where near to any dying. Sometimes it happens that one cousin is quite a sick one, sometimes it happens that all the uncles are dead by then and only two aunts are still living. Sometimes it happens in a family living that all the aunts and some of the uncles are still living. Sometimes it happens that the aunts and uncles that are sisters and brothers of the mother of some one are all living and the mother the sister of these uncles and aunts is the only one of that family who is not then any longer living. Sometimes it happens that pretty nearly every one of the brothers of a father of some one are not any longer living and the father then after some more years of being living is not any longer living. There is then sometimes in family living when there is not any one who is then a seriously sick one, that there has not been any one during many years coming to be not any longer a living one. Some have some feeling in them that sometime some one who is a cousin will be a seriously sick one and some one who is a cousin will come to be not any longer living. Some are feeling that sometime quite a number who are cousins to them will not be any longer living. Julia Hersland was in the ending of her middle living. Mrs. Dehning had been for sometime not any longer living. Mr. Dehning was not any longer living. Julia Hersland went on being one being living until well to the end of her older living. She had a brother George and a sister Hortense. These were both a good deal younger. She had children who were living. She was not really ever married again although of course it would have been quite a natural thing for her to marry again and to marry William Beckling. He came as I said to be a sick one but he really did not come to be a dead one until the beginning of his old living. You never can tell anything certainly about such a thing.
I am certainly going to be telling more about feeling being in living. I will tell some more about feeling being in living, feeling certain that one is being in living in some and then in some other men and women. I will not worry any one just now with this thing. This is in me for me and I am certainly not scaring myself with this thing. I certainly would not be frightening any one in living. I certainly would be wanting every one to be certain that they are feeling themselves being living.
Some like the being they have in them. Some are frightened and then they do the thing that frightens them. Some are glad that when they have been sick ones it was of a kind of sickness that was not a very expensive one. Some when they have a sickness need expensive medicine to cure them. Some are certain that some other one is always certain to be needing to have money spent, and that they are of the kind in men and women who even when they come to be sick ones have a kind of sickness come to them that does not need expensive medicine for curing. Some are certain that they would be strong to be struggling if they were anywhere where they needed to be winning by fighting, one was saying that she was the kind of one who would be holding out until she would be a dead one because it was what she needed for her satisfaction, but she said she would not really be holding out as she might have been doing because she would not want that her husband should be losing a chance to be earning a living by working. Some are quite right in saying that they are one being one strong to be winning, some are quite right then in saying such a thing and these then some of them are winning in living and some of them are not winning in living. Some are quite right in saying that they are one to certainly injure some one and then it is some one not that one who is injuring that one. Some are quite right in saying they are one to injure some one, some do then injure some one, some do then not injure some one. Some are quite right to be asking a question after they have been silently listening while other people have been talking, some are quite right in not then letting themselves be asking a question. Some are certainly quite right to be listening very quietly very often, some are quite right to be almost never doing this thing.
I will tell now a very little more how Julia Hersland and some others did something, did everything.
Each one is coming gradually to be knowing in their living what way being is inside in men in women when they are quite young ones, completely little ones, older ones, middle aged ones, old ones, then each one comes gradually to be knowing how being is in men, in women when men when women are about sixty, about fifty, about fifty-five, about forty, about forty-five, about thirty, about twenty-eight, about twenty-six, about twenty-two, about eighteen and fourteen and eleven, and seven and five and three and two and under one to being only just beginning being in living. Each one gradually in living is realising how being is in men, how being is in women at different ages in them, each one comes in living to know more differences than just very young living, young living, middle living and old living. Again and again it is a startling thing to some one to be learning pieces of this thing of the way being is at different ages in men and in women. I am just now a little realising how old men and how old women mostly are when they are sixty-one. I have learnt a good deal about how being is in men between twenty three and forty-two. I know a good deal about twenty-seven, twenty-five, twenty-nine, thirty, thirty-two, thirty-four, thirty-seven, forty and forty-two and then I know a little about fifty-seven and now I am learning something about being in women and in men when they are sixty and sixty-one. I know a good deal about them when they are very little ones, two and three years old in living, something about them when they are eleven, a very little when they are seventeen almost nothing when they are eighteen and fifteen. I know a very little about them when they are twenty-one. I know that being is very differently in them at different ages in different kinds in men and women. I know that some when they are sixty are healthy ones and some then when they are sixty are not at all then healthy ones. I know some when they are sixty are pretty well worn then and some are dead before they come to be that age in living and some are quite young men and quite young women in eating, sleeping, moving, talking and enjoying, and always then each one is learning in living how being is in each one ever living at different ages in their being living and I, I am just now being quite an astonished one, finding it quite astonishing to be really realising being sixty years old and being in living in men and in women.
Alfred Hersland came to be older than sixty in living, Julia came to be a little older in living, Minnie who married Alfred later did not come in living to be sixty before she came to an ending, Mr. Dehning came to be sixty and he was pretty well beginning then to be quite an old man, Mr. Hersland came to be older a good deal older than sixty before he was not any longer one being living, he was when he was sixty in a way then a completely old one, he was then in a way then not at all a completely old one. I will tell about being old ones later in the description of Dehning and Hersland family living being completely then for that generation ended and ending.
Minnie Mason as I said was married to Alfred Hersland. She would never have it that she would not be married to him when they were beginning to be needing being one in living. She certainly saw to it that they could then be married and quite reasonably happily married then. She knew David Hersland then. She told him she liked him and she would be a nice sister-in-law to him. She was quite a nice sister-in-law to him. She had not really much interest in Alfred having been married to Julia Dehning excepting only that it would be certain that Julia should be freed from him so that she herself should marry Alfred Hersland when they came to need to be together for living. So then Alfred Hersland went on living as I am saying. Julia Hersland went on living as I have been saying. I will tell now a little more about these things, about being in living.
Certainly some are loving each other more in living than mostly any one is loving any other one. This was not a thing ever coming to be in Julia Dehning, this was not a thing that ever came to be really in Alfred Hersland. They had loving being sometimes in them each one of them. I have said this of them again and again. Almost every one ever knowing either one of them thought of each one of them that they had each one of them sometime loving feeling in them. I have told about loving feeling being in Alfred Hersland. I have told about loving feeling being in Julia Dehning. In a way loving feeling could be quite poignantly in Julia Dehning and she could have sweetness in her then as being in her then. In a way though as I was saying she had always in her stupid being as having it in her to be always resisting having any way in her of really learning anything and in a way she did not have any sweetness in her with this being in her. This stupid being was certainly always being in her and active enough inside her. In a way then she certainly had not really sweetness as actively in her as there was not any sweetness in her with the stupid being of her active in her and stupid being in her was always active inside her. She certainly was one not learning anything in being one being in living, she was one certainly having a dominant courage in her from being one certainly going on being living, she was one having certainly earnest intention as being in her from being one always wanting to have teaching being in the world as always existing, she was one being fairly interesting, from being one being really excited in being one always being living, she was one certainly being harsh and being troublesome and being without realising anything without feeling anything in being one needing anything as anything could be to her as something on which to be feeding, she certainly was one having affection and being in Dehning family Jiving, she was one having certainly sometimes loving feeling and having this poignantly with sweetness in being and sweetness in kissing and she was one certainly having stupid being as being in her all her living so that she was everlasting, actively resisting changing at all in attacking. She was one as I was saying not succeeding not failing in living. I am not certain I will just now tell any more about the being in Julia Dehning. Later I will tell more about her in the history of David Hersland that I will now very soon be writing. Certainly I will then tell more of her and of some who knew her and whom David knew by knowing her and some who knew him and then knew her because he knew her just then.
I certainly will not tell any more now about being in her, about living in her, I certainly will tell some about being in her, about living in her, later. I certainly will later be telling something that I have not yet been telling. I do not yet know about her what I will be telling about her later. I certainly will be telling more about her later. I am quite certain of this thing.
When I was a young one I was needing some one to teach me something I was needing just then. I was then at the ending of my beginning being in living. Some one then began teaching me that thing I was needing just then, that one was then teaching me that thing I was needing just then. I was paying that one for teaching me that thing, the thing I was needing just then. Once I was saying to this one I will not be paying you to-day, I will pay you in three weeks, you will wait till then, I said to this one. This one said yes I will wait until then, but I am now asking you to tell me what you are meaning when you are saying to me and to yourself then that you have not money to pay me to-day for this thing. Do you mean that you cannot get the money to pay me to-day, is that what you are meaning, that you cannot get it to-day if you need it to day is that your meaning. I said no that is not my meaning, I mean that I have not the money to-day and that I will have it in three weeks that is what I am meaning by what I am saying. You mean you will not get it to-day because you are feeling you are not really needing to have it to-day that is your meaning, said that one. No I said that is not the way to understand this thing, I have not got the money to-day and I will have it in three weeks from to-day, my brother sends me my money every month that is what I mean by what I am saying. That is what I am meaning said that one, you are needing the money to-day to your feeling, I am needing the money to-day we will say to my feeling but you do not need the money to-day to your feeling, that is what you are meaning, money is a thing like working you are giving it when you are feeling that you are needing the money to be giving it, I am giving work because I am needing money to he receiving it, said this one. I had a confused feeling then. Money was something I was owning yes, but not owning because it was like being in myself that I needed to be living, having money was as natural to me then as being in living and I could not be spending it irregularly, I must spend it as an income. I had it yes but not to give except when regularly I had some. It was confusing that I was so certain I had not the money then and yet certainly I could get the money then but it was not possible to get the money then for I could not feel I could be needing really to be spending the money I could get then when it was not the time to get this money as money to be spending. Some have such a feeling in living, some have not such a feeling in living. Some cannot really believe it that any one is spending money when they are not certain that the family have money that gives that money to them. Some really can never believe this thing of any one. Some are certain that every one who is not living by daily pay for working can ever be without having enough for some kind of living. I am feeling always more and more in living how certainly some are certain of something. In a way it is a personal thing for them, in a way it is a family affair in them, in a way it is a way of living in a national way for them, in a way it is a way of living of the local way in them, in a way it is a way of living their kind in men and women have in being in living. It is certainly quite completely a difficult thing for any one to be remembering how any one else is doing their daily living, in a way it is quite a difficult thing for some, for quite a number of men for quite a number of women to be remembering how they were getting along from time to time to be in living. It is very often astonishing to be realising complete being in living in men and in women. It is certainly astonishing to know it of each one what that one has done in being in living in himself inside him, to himself inside him, with other ones, with some other one, to any other one, to some one. I am saying this thing because I am in living and because very many men and very many women are living. I am saying this thing because I certainly am going on being in living because very many men and very many women are certainly going on being in living.
