The Making of the Lamb (21 page)

“That is true. Right now, your human nature governs, and you cannot avail yourself of the power to move the might of heaven. You can only pray like any person, but those powers lie within you, Jesus, and so much more. You will make the blind see, make the lame walk, and raise the dead. Eventually you will judge the souls of all men and rule my kingdom on earth. No mere human can wield these powers. To use them, your human substance must release itself and surrender to the divine substance within you.”

“How am I to do that, Father?”

“First you need to grow in knowledge and wisdom. The hardest part is not in using divine power, it is in knowing when not to. Your divine power could end all your struggles and suffering, Jesus, but that would swallow up your humanity, and your incarnation among men would be meaningless. You need to live among people and struggle through life as they do, for that is why you came down from heaven and became flesh. This takes time, Jesus.”

“You talk of my ‘incarnation’ rather than my ‘birth,’ Father. How old am I?”

“In your human substance you are thirteen years old, but you possess wisdom and knowledge far beyond your years. Even within the bounds of your human substance, you taught the great doctors in the temple at Jerusalem. That is merely what is on the surface. Your divine substance is infinitely greater; it has all the knowledge and wisdom of the ages, for in your divine substance you are the Word of God, eternally begotten by me before the beginning of time. In the divine realm, there was never a time when you did not exist.”

“I suppose I should be trembling in fear right now. I am sure Moses did. Any righteous man would in the presence of God, but I do not.”

“That comes from your unseen divine nature, my son. There is a special love between us borne before the beginning of all time that can never be undone.”

Jesus closed his eyes.
I have never known such peace as I now feel. How can it not be so when I bask in my Father’s love?

The Father seemed to be waiting patiently for Jesus to reopen his eyes before he continued. “Your divine knowledge and power lie hidden from the human substance which now governs your perceptions and actions as a human child. When you became incarnate as human flesh, you put aside your divine dignity—but even as a child you have spiritual gifts that will remind you of your divine nature and assist you on the path that lies before you.”

“What do you mean by spiritual gifts, Father?”

“You have the gifts of tongues and the interpretation of tongues. Those gifts allow you to both speak and understand any language spoken on Earth.

“You also have a keen understanding of the physical world, Jesus. Already you have seen that at work on the seas. You will help your Uncle Joseph build his fortune while you are here in Britain, and your gift in sensing the physical world will guide you in your work. As you scratch the earth’s surface to uncover its riches, so too will you be revealing to yourself more of your divine substance, which is hidden from you now.

Jesus felt so much emotion, so many contradictory feelings, welling up inside him, that he began to sob. “I am so unworthy. I have so many faults. How can I be divine when the God I know is perfect?”

“There is a reason for everything, Jesus, even in what you see as your faults. Your divine substance has always been perfect, but for now it is hidden. In your human substance, you remain a boy, and that now largely controls what you do and know. As you grow older, you will grow in knowledge and wisdom. Before the time comes for you to fulfill the purpose for which you became incarnate on earth, you will achieve the full measure of perfection in your human substance as well. When that time comes, your divine nature will come forth to abide within you together with your human substance in perfect harmony and unity of purpose. Until then, the divine knowledge and powers that abide within you will unveil themselves as appropriate to your stage in life—as a boy for now and soon as a man. Do not judge yourself harshly, Jesus. You are still far too young to assume the burden of infallibility.”

Jesus paused to reflect before he spoke. “Kendrick just told me how infallibility is a burden to the druids.”

“We are not conjurers of cheap tricks, you and I. There is much for you to learn from the druids, my son, but remember that their magic is false and the infallibility you speak of is only what foolish men perceive. True infallibility is not the same.” The Father continued with a note of sadness. “Trust me in this: The burden of true infallibility is far greater.”

“Father, if you are all powerful, all knowing, and all good, how can there be evil in this world?” Jesus asked.

The Father laughed. “You see, Jesus, when word about infallibility gets out, suddenly
everyone
becomes a critic, including my own son.” He continued in a serious tone. “But do not worry about offending me. Jesus, as a son of man you cannot truly judge what is evil or good in the world without understanding my purposes. When I created the world, I created a perfect existence for man in the Garden of Eden, where death and pain did not exist; but I also granted man the power of free will. Through Adam, man chose the way of death and turned away from God and into sin. Jesus, you will be the hope for humankind. You will show a pathway for a world of imperfect people, and it will lead them to salvation, reconciliation, and a perfect existence—if they choose to follow it.

“Your path is not an easy one,” the Father continued. “The time has not yet come for me to tell you everything I will ask of you. You will make choices of your own free will, just as everyone does. Before you come to fully know and understand the divine substance within you, you may even turn from me. You may doubt your own sanity. For if you do not struggle with your choices as all people must do, then they mean nothing. Do not let yourself be troubled by this. Now is the time that is set aside for you to learn and grow. In time, you will learn to surrender to your divine substance and bring it to the forefront of your existence. Then you will be ready to begin your ministry, which will lead the world to true freedom.

“Come, Jesus, let me show you something. Do you remember how Daniel knelt at your feet the day he came with Joseph to Nazareth?”

“Yes, Father. We all thought he was going crazy. Did you make him do that?”

“No, Daniel did that of his own free will. I merely showed him the divinity within you, like this.” With that the Father created a small pond with its shoreline right at Jesus’s feet, and he caused the surface to be absolutely still, creating a perfect mirror.

Jesus looked down and saw, for the first time, his image in divine glory.

Overcome by the shock, he fainted.

When Jesus awoke, he found himself in the hiding place he had picked out earlier for the game of hide-and-seek. It seemed so long ago now.

His talk with the Father must have gone on for more than an hour. Would Daniel be sounding the alarm to call out a search? He needed to find the others before that happened. Peering through the branches, he made out the figure of Fedwig searching around. Quickly, he stood up and waved. “Here I am, Fedwig; I am all right,” he shouted.

Fedwig let out a sigh of exasperation. “You’re not supposed to get out and shout like that. You’re supposed to stay hidden and make me find you!”

“But I’ve been away for a long time. Wasn’t everyone worried?”

“What are you talking about? I just finished my count. We were all together moments ago!”

Jesus looked up and noticed that the sun was still at the same angle as when the game started.

Now he understood. He and God the Father had talked outside of any concept of earthly time.

“I’m sorry, Fedwig. My head is a little out of sorts. I must have been on the ship too long. Please carry on with the others; for now I need to run.”

As Fedwig stood dumbfounded, Jesus took off, running tirelessly and with unbounded joy across the fields until the men of the village began to return for the evening meal.

The next morning, Joseph looked up from the scroll as Daniel continued to chant the verses from
Deuteronomy
. Once again, he spied Jesus looking out the doorway instead of at the sacred scroll. What was this? Jesus had always been devoted to the reading of Scriptures on the Sabbath, but ever since sundown, the boy’s mind seemed to be elsewhere. He was about to deliver a gentle reproach when Daniel looked up from his reading, too. The two exchanged a look. Whatever was going on, Daniel appeared to know about it. So Joseph held his counsel for the moment and bade Daniel to continue the chant.

When Daniel reached the end of the passage, Joseph signaled him to stop and called for a break. Jesus got up and left. Daniel was about to follow when Joseph asked him to stay. “Why does Jesus let his mind wander from the readings?” Joseph asked. “Is he so ungrateful to God that he cannot keep this first Sabbath after our deliverance from danger and slavery?”

“No, Papa, he loves the Lord today more than ever.” Daniel hesitated. He could see that Joseph expected an explanation. “Jesus told me last night that he was called by God.”

“And what did God call upon him to do?”

Daniel sighed. “Nothing really—he’s supposed to trust his feelings more to bring forth his divine nature.”

“So, he now believes that he is God?”

“It’s not quite like that. He said that he is both the Son of God and the Son of Man. He also said God revealed his inner divinity to him. He said there was more, but he was not ready to tell anyone yet. The way he described it was just like what I saw the day we came to him in Nazareth.”

“Daniel, you make no sense. There is only one God, the creator of the universe. It is one thing to say that Jesus has the favor of God or even that he is a great prophet. But he cannot be divine like God. To be divine is to be God. God would not have a son and make him half a God!” Joseph sat down and buried his face in his hands. “I cannot believe he is such…such a blasphemer…”

Daniel’s voice made him look up.

“I don’t know how to explain it. I only know what I saw and what Jesus told me, and I believe him.”

“Did he say anything about crucifixion?”

“No. He said God talked to him about who he was and how he came to be here. It wasn’t so much a prophecy of the future.”

“Your cousin never ceases to amaze me, Daniel. But I tell you this truly, that if his destiny takes him to a cross he will die on it, and I fear what will happen to his faith and love for God when he learns that. I remind you this is something we must never speak of to him. God will tell him when he is ready. You promised me that, did you not? It is all I ask of you.”

Daniel nodded. “Yes, Papa, I remember.”

“Very good. Stay here. I will find Jesus and talk to him now.” Joseph left the hut and found Jesus leaning over a low stone wall and gazing out on the village and its fields.

“So, Jesus, must I remove my sandals? I have never walked in the presence of a divine being before.”

Jesus broke out of his reverie and smiled. “Do so if you wish, but it does not matter, Uncle. You are a good man. Besides, I wouldn’t know how to strike anyone down, even if I wanted to.” With that Jesus turned back to look out over the view. “So—Daniel told you.”

“Yes, I pressed him about what was going on when I saw you were not paying attention to your prayers.”

“Don’t be troubled. I was going to tell you anyway, and I am sorry about not paying attention to the prayers. I had much to think about.”

“Were your questions answered?” Joseph asked.

Jesus laughed. Then he turned to Joseph. “I’m afraid that every answer leads to more questions. There is even more that is mystery to me now.”

“Shall we return to our prayers?” Joseph gestured toward the house. “It is still the Sabbath, and the chanting of Scripture delights the heart of God.”

“I think I have chanted enough from Scripture today, and I feel it would delight God even more for me to marvel at his work. That’s what he told me to do—to trust myself.” Jesus turned to look down the fields and over the tidal pool where Kendrick’s ship lay aground on the mud. “Look at that, Uncle. Is not God’s creation marvelous? He gives each creature what it needs, from the tiny worms in the mud to the chief of the village who welcomed us so warmly. This is a happy land, Uncle. The people are simple and primitive, but they are good of heart. They are not burdened by foreign oppression.”

“They are pagans, though,” said Joseph. “Surely, you know the druids lead these people into many superstitions. They have false gods for every tree and river.”

“They are merely ignorant, and I don’t think God is finished with them yet,” said Jesus. “Surely, he will send them the message of truth and righteousness.”

“Are you going to be the messenger to these people?” asked Joseph.

“Before yesterday, I would have said ‘Yes, no question. Find me a druid, and my words of truth will slay his falsehoods,’” Jesus answered. “But now I see how little I really know.”

Joseph was relieved to hear Jesus express humility and self-doubt. He would need to learn tolerance among pagans of all types. Perhaps a little less Scripture and more time for discernment would do him good.