The Mammoth Book of SF Stories by Women (19 page)

Black Alice crouched beside the box, and began examining connections. The console was about three meters by four, half a meter tall, and
fixed firmly to Vinnie’s hide. It looked like the thing was still functional, but something – a bit of space debris, maybe – had dented it pretty good.

Cautiously, Black Alice dropped a hand on it. She found the access panel, and flipped it open: more red lights than green. A tongue-click, and she began withdrawing her tethered tools from their holding pouches and arranging them so that they
would float conveniently around.

She didn’t hear a thing, of course, but the hide under her boots vibrated suddenly, sharply. She jerked her head around, just in time to see one of Vinnie’s feelers slap her own side, five or ten meters away. And then the whole Boojum shuddered,
contracting, curved into a hard crescent of pain the same way she had when the
Henry Ford
had taken that chunk out of
her hide. And the lights in the access panel lit up all at once – red, red, yellow, red.

Black Alice tongued off the
send
function on her headset microphone, so Wasabi wouldn’t hear her. She touched the bruised hull, and she touched the dented edge of the console. “Vinnie,” she said, “does this
hurt?”

Not that Vinnie could answer her. But it was obvious. She was in pain. And maybe that dent
didn’t have anything to do with space debris. Maybe – Black Alice straightened, looked around, and couldn’t convince herself that it was an accident that this box was planted right where Vinnie couldn’t … quite … reach it.

“So what does it
do?”
she muttered. “Why am I out here repairing something that fucking hurts?” She crouched down again and took another long look at the interface.

As an
engineer, Black Alice was mostly self-taught; her implants were second-hand, black market, scavenged, the wet work done by a gilly on Providence Station. She’d learned the technical vocabulary from Gogglehead Kim before he bought it in a stupid little fight with a ship named the
V. I. Ulyanov
, but what she relied on were her instincts, the things she knew without being able to say. So she
looked
at that box wired into Vinnie’s spine and all its red and yellow lights, and then she tongued the comm back on and said, “Wasabi, this thing don’t look so good.”

“Whaddya mean, don’t look so good?” Wasabi sounded distracted, and that was just fine.

Black Alice made a noise, the auditory equivalent of a shrug. “I think the node’s inflamed. Can we pull it and lock it in somewhere else?”

“No!”
said Wasabi.

“It’s looking pretty ugly out here.”

“Look, Blackie, unless you want us to all go sailing out into the Big Empty, we are
not
pulling that governor. Just fix the fucking thing, would you?”

“Yessir,” said Black Alice, thinking hard. The first thing was that Wasabi knew what was going on – knew what the box did and knew that the
Lavinia Whateley
didn’t like it. That wasn’t comforting.
The second thing was that whatever was going on, it involved
the Big Empty, the cold vastness between the stars. So it wasn’t that Vinnie wanted to go home. She wanted to go
out
.

It made sense, from what Black Alice knew about Boojums. Their infants lived in the tumult of the gas giants’ atmosphere, but as they aged, they pushed higher and higher, until they reached the edge of the envelope.
And then – following instinct or maybe the calls of their fellows, nobody knew for sure – they learned to skip, throwing themselves out into the vacuum like Earth birds leaving the nest. And what if, for a Boojum, the solar system was just another nest?

Black Alice knew the
Lavinia Whateley
was old, for a Boojum. Captain Song was not her first captain, although you never mentioned Captain Smith
if you knew what was good for you. So if there
was
another stage to her life cycle, she might be ready for it. And her crew wasn’t letting her go.

Jesus and the cold fishy gods, Black Alice thought. Is this why the
Marie Curie
ate her crew? Because they wouldn’t let her go?

She fumbled for her tools, tugging the cords to float them closer, and wound up walloping herself in the bicep with a splicer.
And as she was wrestling with it, her headset spoke again. “Blackie, can you hurry it up out there? Captain says we’re going to have company.”

Company?
She never got to say it. Because when she looked up, she saw the shapes, faintly limned in starlight, and a chill as cold as a suit leak crept up her neck.

There were dozens of them. Hundreds. They made her skin crawl and her nerves judder the
way gillies and Boojums never had. They were man-sized, roughly, but they looked like the pseudoroaches of Venus, the ones Black Alice still had nightmares about, with too many legs, and horrible stiff wings. They had ovate, corrugated heads, but no faces, and where their mouths ought to be sprouted writhing tentacles.

And some of them carried silver shining cylinders, like the canisters in Vinnie’s
subhold.

Black Alice wasn’t certain if they saw her, crouched on the Boojum’s hide with only a thin laminate between her and the breathsucker, but she was certain of something else. If they did, they did not care.

They disappeared below the curve of the ship, toward the
airlock Black Alice had exited before clawing her way along the ship’s side. They could be a trade delegation, come to bargain
for the salvaged cargo.

Black Alice didn’t think even the Mi-Go came in the battalions to talk trade.

She meant to wait until the last of them had passed, but they just kept coming. Wasabi wasn’t answering her hails; she was on her own and unarmed. She fumbled with her tools, stowing things in any handy pocket whether it was where the tool went or not. She couldn’t see much; everything was misty.
It took her several seconds to realize that her visor was fogged because she was crying.

Patch cables. Where were the fucking patch cables? She found a two-meter length of fiber optic with the right plugs on the end. One end went into the monitor panel. The other snapped into her suit comm.

“Vinnie?” she whispered, when she thought she had a connection. “Vinnie, can you hear me?”

The bioluminescence
under Black Alice’s boots pulsed once.

Gods and little fishes
, she thought. And then she drew out her laser cutting torch, and started slicing open the case on the console that Wasabi had called the
governor
. Wasabi was probably dead by now, or dying. Wasabi, and Dogcollar, and … well, not dead. If they were lucky, they were dead.

Because the opposite of lucky was those canisters the Mi-Go were
carrying.

She hoped Dogcollar was lucky.

“You wanna go
out
, right?” she whispered to the
Lavinia Whateley
. “Out into the Big Empty.”

She’d never been sure how much Vinnie understood of what people said, but the light pulsed again.

“And this thing won’t let you.” It wasn’t a question. She had it open now, and she could see that was what it did. Ugly fucking thing. Vinnie shivered underneath
her, and there was a sudden pulse of noise in her helmet speakers: screaming. People screaming.

“I know,” Black Alice said. “They’ll come get me in a minute, I guess.” She swallowed hard against the sudden lurch of her stomach. “I’m gonna get this thing off you, though. And when
they go, you can go, okay? And I’m sorry. I didn’t know we were keeping you from …” She had to quit talking, or she
really was going to puke. Grimly, she fumbled for the tools she needed to disentangle the abomination from Vinnie’s nervous system.

Another pulse of sound, a voice, not a person: flat and buzzing and horrible. “We do not bargain with thieves.” And the scream that time – she’d never heard Captain Song scream before. Black Alice flinched and started counting to slow her breathing. Puking in a suit
was the number one badness, but hyperventilating in a suit was a really close second.

Her heads-up display was low-res, and slightly miscalibrated, so that everything had a faint shadow-double. But the thing that flashed up against her own view of her hands was unmistakable: a question mark.

“Vinnie?”

Another pulse of screaming, and the question mark again.

“Holy shit, Vinnie! …
Never mind, never mind. They, um, they collect people’s brains. In canisters. Like the canisters in the third subhold.”

The bioluminescence pulsed once. Black Alice kept working.

Her heads-up pinged again: A pause.

“Um, yeah. I figure that’s what they’ll do with me, too. It looked like they had plenty of canisters to go around.”

Vinnie pulsed, and there was a longer pause while
Black Alice doggedly severed connections and loosened bolts.

said the
Lavinia Whateley
.

“Want? Do I
want
… ?” Her laughter sounded bad. “Um, no. No, I don’t want to be a brain in a jar. But I’m not seeing a lot of choices here. Even if I went cometary, they could catch me. And it kind of sounds like they’re mad enough to do it, too.”

She’d cleared out all the moorings around the
edge of the governor; the case lifted off with a shove and went sailing into the dark. Black Alice winced. But then the processor under the cover drifted away from Vinnie’s hide, and there was just the monofilament tethers and the fat cluster of fiber optic and superconductors to go.

“I’m doing my best here, Vinnie,” Black Alice said through her teeth.

That got her a fast double-pulse,
and the
Lavinia Whateley
said,

And then,

“You want to help
me?”
Black Alice squeaked.

A strong pulse, and the heads-up said,

“That’s really sweet of you, but I’m honestly not sure there’s anything you can do. I mean, it doesn’t look like the Mi-Go are mad at
you
, and I really want to keep it that way.”

said the
Lavinia Whateley
.

Black Alice came within
a millimeter of taking her own fingers off with the cutting laser. “Um, Vinnie, that’s um … well, I guess it’s better than being a brain in a jar.” Or suffocating to death in her suit if she went cometary and the Mi-Go
didn’t
come after her.

The double-pulse again, but Black Alice didn’t see what she could have missed. As communications went,
EAT ALICE
was pretty fucking unambiguous.

the
Lavinia Whateley
insisted. Black Alice leaned in close, unsplicing the last of the governor’s circuits from the Boojum’s nervous system.

“By eating me? Look, I know what happens to things you eat, and it’s not … “She bit her tongue. Because she
did
know what happened to things the
Lavinia Whateley
ate. Absorbed. Filtered. Recycled. “Vinnie … are you saying you can save me from
the Mi-Go?”

A pulse of agreement.

“By eating me?” Black Alice pursued, needing to be sure she understood.

Another pulse of agreement.

Black Alice thought about the
Lavinia Whateley’s
teeth. “How much
me
are we talking about here?”

said the
Lavinia Whateley
, and then the last fiber optic cable parted, and Black Alice, her hands shaking, detached her patch cable and flung the whole
mess of it as hard as she could straight up. Maybe it would find a planet with atmosphere and be some little alien kid’s shooting star.

And now she had to decide what to do.

She figured she had two choices, really. One, walk back down the
Lavinia Whateley
and find out if the Mi-Go believed in surrender. Two, walk around the
Lavinia Whateley
and into her toothy mouth.

Black Alice didn’t think
the Mi-Go believed in surrender.

She tilted her head back for one last clear look at the shining black infinity of space. Really, there wasn’t any choice at all. Because even if she’d misunderstood what Vinnie seemed to be trying to tell her, the worst she’d end up was dead, and that was light-years better than what the Mi-Go had on offer.

Black Alice Bradley loved her ship.

She turned to her
left and started walking, and the
Lavinia Whateley
’s bioluminescence followed her courteously all the way, vanes swaying out of her path. Black Alice skirted each of Vinnie’s eyes as she came to them, and each of them blinked at her. And then she reached Vinnie’s mouth and that magnificent panoply of teeth.

“Make it quick, Vinnie, okay?” said Black Alice, and walked into her leviathan’s maw.

Picking her way delicately between razor-sharp teeth, Black Alice had plenty of time to consider the ridiculousness of worrying about a hole in her suit. Vinnie’s mouth was more like a crystal cave, once you were inside it; there was no tongue, no palate. Just polished, macerating stones. Which did not close on Black Alice, to her surprise. If anything, she got the feeling Vinnie was holding her
… breath. Or what passed for it.

The Boojum was lit inside, as well – or was making herself lit, for Black Alice’s benefit. And as Black Alice clambered inward, the teeth got smaller, and fewer, and the tunnel narrowed. Her throat, Alice thought. I’m inside her.

And the walls closed down, and she was swallowed.

Like a pill, enclosed in the tight sarcophagus of her space suit, she felt rippling
pressure as peristalsis pushed her along. And then greater pressure, suffocating, savage. One sharp pain. The pop of her ribs as her lungs crushed.

Screaming inside a space suit was contraindicated, too. And with collapsed lungs, she couldn’t even do it properly.

alice
.

She floated. In warm darkness. A womb, a bath. She was comfortable. An itchy soreness between her shoulder blades felt like
a very mild radiation burn.

alice.

A voice she thought she should know. She tried to speak; her mouth gnashed, her teeth ground.

alice. talk here
.

She tried again. Not with her mouth, this time.