The Man at Mulera (23 page)

“
Slow down, Lou—you
’
re doing nearly seventy!
”

Her foot went down on the brake, mechanica
ll
y and hard. The car swerved and grazed the jeep, moved forward a few yards and then stopped. She switched off, put a hand over her eyes. Greg was at the car door, opening it and staring in at her with the utmost consternation.

“
Good lord, I couldn
’
t believe it was little Lou at the wheel!
”
he exclaimed.
“
What in the world were you up to?
”
Then he saw her lifted face, paper-white and shiny with sweat, and the sha
ki
ng hands which she had gripped together in her lap.
“
What
’
s been happening? Shift over, Lou. I
’
m getting in with you.
”

He had to move her himself, and it was the most natural thing in the world that he should hold her and make soothing sounds. But Lou didn
’
t weep; she didn
’
t even feel like weeping. She sat there till the muscles of her throat unlocked, felt him release her and put a cigarette between her lips.

When Greg spoke again his tones were casual.
“
Don
’
t worry about that scratched wing. You can say you took a narrow lane and brushed a thorn tree. If I were you, I wouldn
’
t tell Ross that the speed of the car frightened you.
”

“
It didn
’
t,
”
she said huskily.
“
If I
’
d been thinking about it, I might have been scared, but I just wasn
’
t thinking at all.
”

He looked at his watch.
“
How come you
’
re out at this hour? Been visiting?
”

Lou
’
s defences were down. She drew quiveringly on the cigarette and nodded.
“
I
’
ve just had a session with Paula Craddock. She
...
she
’
s going to send Keith to school at Durban—after she
’
s married, of course. I said I
’
d fight against it
...
”

“
Why did you bother with the woman? Why didn
’
t you go straight to Ross?
”

She shook her head, forlornly.
“
I can
’
t do that
.
Between Ross and me, nothing has changed. You remember the rules about our guardianship of Keith? Well, it seems he
’
ll marry first and take over completely. I shan
’
t be able to fight against it because no one would uphold any claims I might have. I know how it
’
s going to be, and I won
’
t stand for it
.
”

“
You think he
’
ll try to send you back to England?
”
he asked quickly.

“
Not for some time. Till he marries it
’
s convenient to have me here, and he
’
ll want me to take care of Keith while
...
while he has a
...
honeymoon. After that, Paula will take over and I
’
ll be redundant
.
Ross will be generous in his lordly way, of course,
but...” She
stopped speaking, and threw the cigarette out of the car window.

Greg leaned back behind the wheel, more at ease.
“
Hell, who cares about them? I respect Ross and in many ways I envy him, but I
’
ll never really like him. I think Paula is what he deserves. She
’
ll match wits with him, which is more than any other woman could do.
”
He paused.
“
You
’
re very fond of the kid, aren
’
t you?
”

“
Yes. Even if I didn
’
t love him so much, I
’
d still want to do for him what Dorothy Weston did for me. I can
’
t bear to
think
of his having no one to go to in all his little crises. That
’
s what
’
s bad about boarding schools for the very young; there
’
s never anyone who cares more for the individual child than for any other children. Greg, I can
’
t let him be sent so far from everyone he knows!
”

“
All right, you can
’
t
,
”
he said.
“
Ross is the best person to talk to about it
.”

She fingered her neck, bit on to the inside of her lip.
“
That
’
s out, I
’
m afraid. He
’
d instantly tackle Paula and she
’
d
...
well, she
’
s clever enough to keep in the clear herself and put me well in the wrong. She
’
s threatened awful things. I
’
m new here, but Ross has known Paula for years. Even if I had the courage to battle with the two of them, he
’
d side with her. And if he
’
s in love with her you couldn
’
t blame him.
”

Greg watched the gathering dusk for a moment.
“
He
’
s only in love with his plantation. Maybe he
’
s discovering that a planter needs a wife, and a woman of Paula
’
s type would fill the vacancy nicely. What I don
’
t understand is why he
’
s clinging so hard to Keith.
”

Lou said, low-voiced,
“
That
’
s the sort of man he is. If
I’
d been middle-aged and a confirmed spinster he
’
d have installed Keith and me in a bungalow somewhere in the district and paid us weekly visits. But I
’
m too young and I have no ties here.
”

“
Are you two still unfriendly?
”

“
It
’
s something far more subtle than unfriendliness. He
can
be charming and thoughtful. He
’
s had bookshelves put in my bedroom and filled them from his own stocks
,
he notices if I
’
m tired or not eating well, gets angry
with me if I so much as prick my finger, and keeps a balance between Elinor Weston and Keith and me. But there
’
s a fundamental antagonism between us. I
’
m in the
way.
”

“
Then you
’
ll have to get out of it, won
’
t you?
”
said Greg in peculiar tones.

Surprisingly, he said nothing more for quite a while. Darkness fell suddenly, a couple of mosquitoes came into the car and winged lightly between them and something slithered over the bonnet of the car and disappeared.

Greg said,
“
You know a good deal about me, Lou. I haven
’
t hidden much. What do you think of a chap of my sort?
”

She smiled at him, palely.
“
I think you
’
re a great help. I knew one of the starchy type in England and I never took a single problem to him.
”

“
That
’
s good hearing, anyway. I
’
ve been a bit of a heel in my time. For a while I drank and gambled madly, and I walked out on my first contract in Nyasaland. I
’
ve had an affair or two—but what man of my age hasn
’
t? There never seemed to be any reason why I should bother with rigid honesty. I
’
m not going to tell you I
’
m a reformed character, but I
’
m certainly having a shot at good, uncomplicated living. Whether I
’
ll make it or not, I can
’
t say.
”

“
You
’
ll make it,
”
she said confidently.
“
I hope my mood hasn
’
t made you sad and reminiscent, Greg.
”

“
No,
”
he answered with a whimsical smile,
“
but that effect you have on me—turning me into an estate manager with all the dull but worthy ambitions—could last for ever. But only if you wanted it to.
”

“
Well, I do.
”
With an effort she lightened her tones.
“
I
’
m so glad you
’
re here, Greg. You and I may be utterly different people, but we do sort of mix. Considering the jumbled state I was in when we met half an hour ago, I feel fine.
”

He looked her way, briefly.
“
You don
’
t look it, by any means, but I like to think I
’
ve helped. In fact,
”
in level tones,
“
I
’
d like to go on helping. I
’
m in love with you,
Lou.”

At first Lou thought faintly,
“
Oh, no, not this as well! I can
’
t take any more
!
”
Then she found a warmth running
through her, a fervent need to be loved, even if it were only by Greg. In a measure, it helped to mitigate the anxiety and weariness which were the result of the shattering defeat she had received at Paula
’
s hands. She felt Greg take her fingers, and she gave him a tired but impulsive smile.

“
I
’
m not in love with you. You know that, don
’
t you?
”

“
Sure I know it.
”
He was back in the resigned, sceptical vein.
“
But you
’
re too sweet to me not to have any feelings for me at all.
”

“
I like you very much.
”

“
That
’
ll do, to begin with. After all, I know love when I run up against it because I
’
ve seen the other thing pretty often. You
’
re young, and you
’
ve never been in love, but I
think
you soon would be, with the man you married.
”

“
Are you saying all this because I
’
ve been upset?
”

“
It
’
s encouraged me to speak now.
I’
d probably have waited a bit.
”
He grinned at her almost artlessly in the darkness.
“
I’
m not much of a capture but I
’
m what you need. Believe it or not, I
’
ve never been wanted in my life, and it
’
s a surprisingly good sensation to live even on the fringe of it. I don
’
t know much about kids, but I wouldn
’
t object to having Keith around, if you
’
d marry me.
”

It was only then that Lou absorbed what he was offering; the implications smote her with the weight of a sandbag, so that she simply gazed at his thin, deprecating features
w
ith bewilderment and dawning comprehension.

“
But it
’
s fantastic, Greg. I couldn
’
t use you like that!
”

“
Don
’
t be absurd. I
want
to be used. Besides, look what
I’
d be gaining! A sweet, clear-eyed girl and her little cousin, someone I could cherish, someone who
’
d nurse me when the fever caught up with me, someone to play around with and show the country.
”

He didn
’
t say someone to ... to make love to. Lou was grateful for that. But she was too mixed-up to consider the matter carefully and coherently. She shook her head.