The Marriage Pact (1) (25 page)

“Who
does she think she is, sending that to
him
? Like he’s the one who’s been
carrying this child for seven months! She even included soothing foot lotion.
Is that supposed to be for him, too? Or is she only acknowledging that my feet
and my uterus exist right now? I know she’s mad about the wedding and all, but
it’s getting ridiculous! She won’t even give me a chance!”

Their
mother flipped a couple of pancakes and clucked her tongue in agreement. “I’m
so sorry, sweetheart. It makes me so mad, too, because I would give anything to
be up there with you guys, to help you get ready and to babysit and everything.
And here this awful woman could see you anytime she wants and she can’t get
over her stupid pride.”

“I
wish we had moved here instead,” Nicole whined. “Ravi could work for CNN and
you guys could see Princess whenever you wanted.”

“That
would be nice...” Mom said, but trailed off. Marci knew their mother would give
her right arm to have both daughters and her granddaughter in the same city
with her, but she had always worked really hard to respect their choices and
tried never to pressure them. Marci had appreciated this when she was living in
California and Texas. She could see now that it cost her mom quite a bit of
effort to pull it off. “So, Marci, how are things with you?” she said brightly,
changing the subject.

“Not
so hot, actually,” she replied, and told them about Doug’s appearance and
Jake’s response, minimizing the length and intensity of her relationship with
Doug and leaving out entirely the fact that he’d been married and was now
divorced.

“I’m
surprised that someone who wasn’t even important enough to
mention
to
your family would come track you down after all this time,” her mother said.
She was great at not pressuring. Guilt was another issue altogether.

“That’s
not really the point, Mom,” Nicole said, and Marci shot her a grateful look.
“The thing is that Jake is being totally unreasonable. It’s not Marci’s fault
this guy showed up on his doorstep.”

“Exactly.
And what’s with him needing space? One minute he wants me to move in and set a
wedding date, and the next minute, he’s kicking me out? Is this how he thinks
our marriage would be?  He’ll just send me to Suzanne or you guys whenever
there’s a problem?” She had actually rehearsed this particular point in the car
on the way over and was gratified at how grown-up and reasonable it sounded
live.

“Why
haven’t
you set a wedding date, anyway?” Nicole said. Marci glared at
her. “Right, right...not the point.”

“Breakfast
is served, girls. Arthur, put the paper away.”

For
several minutes, the four of them ate while Marci and Nicole traded complaints.

“I
mean, he knew I had dated other people before him. I wouldn’t be mad at
him
if some girl showed up and tried to get him back.”

“She’s
only met me once! How can you hate someone you have barely met?”

“It’s
not like I’m still in love with Doug or anything.”

“Why
would she send foot lotion, which is obviously for me, and not even have the
guts to address it to me? What is she expecting, a thank-you note from no one?”

“I
mean, I did have feelings for Doug, and I guess they’re not 100% gone, but
doesn’t everyone have something like that in their past?”

“I
told Ravi, I’ll be damned if she can come to the hospital when the baby is
born. After all this, no way.”

“How
am I supposed to commit to Jake with my whole heart, when he doesn’t even want
to talk about this?”

Their
mother offered encouraging nods and “mmm-hmms,” and the occasional “of course,
honey.”  After some time, she turned to her husband. “You’ve been quiet,
sweetheart. What are you thinking?”

Their
father chewed a bite of sausage thoughtfully and took a sip of coffee before
answering her without looking at Marci or Nicole. “I’m thinking, Elaine, that I
wonder how two such lovely and kind people as you and I have managed to raise
two daughters so capable of utter selfishness.”

Silence.
The three women stared at one another. Finally, Nicole punched him playfully in
the arm. “Daddy, come on! This is serious.”

“I
assure you, Nicole, I’m quite serious.”

“Arthur!”

“Well,
you asked me what I was thinking.” He turned to face the younger sister.
“Nicky, darling, I love you more than life, and I’ve always thought that you
were an intelligent girl. But if you can’t see that poor woman is trying as
best she can to reach out to you without giving up all her pride, then you are
not as smart as I thought.”

Nicole
attempted a protest, but he cut her off. “You’re a mother now.” He patted her
protruding belly affectionately. “It’s time to learn how to be the bigger
person. You go home on Sunday and call Ravi’s mom and thank her for the gifts.
If she doesn’t answer, leave a message or write a note and try again next week.
And when the time comes, you do the right thing and make sure she gets plenty
of time with her grandbaby. No matter how painful it is for either of you in
the beginning. Isn’t that what you always did with my mom, Elaine?”

Their
mother looked genuinely surprised. They had never spoken aloud about this, but
hearing it, Marci knew exactly what he meant. She had always sensed a tension
between their Granny Jane and Mom, but had never heard her mother say an unkind
word in the old lady’s direction.

“And
you,” he said, turning to Marci. “Jake is a good guy. A good man. He’s been a
friend to you for a decade. Don’t you think, instead of sitting here feeling
sorry for yourself, that you owe him the truth about this other guy and your
feelings for him, whatever the truth is? Marriage is not easy under any
circumstances. Wouldn’t it be better to start with your whole heart?”

“But
I don’t even know how I feel anymore,” Marci said weakly.

Her
father grasped her hand in his. “I think that’s obvious, Marcella. But you owe
it to yourself and to Jake to figure it out. Don’t you think? You know I love
you, but you’ve always run away when things got hard or confusing. You got a C
in that writing class and changed majors; you broke up with that guy Mike and
moved to San Francisco...”

“Daddy!”

“Seriously,
honey. You got a couple of rejection letters and quit submitting freelance
articles. Now you know your mother and I support all your decisions, whatever
you do, but when was the last time something in your life was worth fighting
for?”

He
wiped a tear from her cheek with his napkin. “You’re a good girl.” His familiar
words rang in her head, the same thing he used to say to her when she was
little and she did anything wrong. As a child it always brought her comfort,
like her Daddy still believed in her even when she behaved badly. Today it made
her feel ashamed.
If her father knew all that she had done in the past year,
would he still think she was a good girl? Would she still be worthy of his
breakfast pep talk?

She
thought about Jake turning away from her last night, and fresh tears welled in
her eyes.
Who had she become?
She toyed with a half-eaten sausage link
on her plate to avoid making eye contact with her family.

His
speech over, their father stood abruptly and cheerfully announced he was
leaving for the office. Fridays were his off day, technically, but he often
went in to catch up on paperwork and sometimes to take his staff out for lunch.
Kind father, kind boss.

The
three women sat in silence for a while after he left. Finally, Nicole said,
“He’s right. You aren’t being very fair to Jake.”

“What?
What about you? You’re the one denying some poor woman contact with her
grandchild!”

“Her
grandchild isn’t even born yet! And she’s not sweet and wonderful and handsome,
like Jake!”

“Handsome!
I knew you had a crush on him; you always have!”

“I
do not! Besides, if you care so much about him, where have you been the last
decade?”

The
last one stung. Marci was getting ready to fire back that Nicole looked fat,
even for a pregnant woman, when their mother spoke up quietly.

“This
is my fault,” she said, and both girls turned to look at her. “Nicky, sweetie,
I’ve been letting you do this to Mrs. Argawal—I mean, not encouraging you to do
the right thing, anyway—because
I’m
selfish. I didn’t realize until just
now that the idea of you having another mother, another grandmother for this
precious little one, how jealous I felt about that. And I didn’t even know it.”

Now
she was crying, too. “I thought I was supporting you, being on your side, but I
realize listening to your father that I was secretly just trying to undermine
that poor woman and keep you all to myself. He’s right. You have to reach out
to her, whatever it costs you.”

“But
Mom—” Nicole started. But Elaine ignored her.

“Marci,
honey, I don’t know what to tell you about Jake. Only you and he can decide
whether what you have is enough to sustain a marriage. But Daddy’s right; if
you can’t give your whole heart for some reason, for
any
reason, you’re
setting yourself up to fail.” More softly, she added, “We’ve been married
thirty-four years and your father still makes me a better person.”

#

Marci
left three messages for Jake that day, but he did not call back. In return she
received two calls from Doug, who both times left the address and room number
at the Hyatt Regency. She also got a call from a headhunter named Lynnette,
with a potential position as a copywriter for a “big company downtown.”

She
called Lynette back, grateful for something to focus on other than her dual
heartaches. The position was entry-level, of course, but in a large department
with room for advancement. Marci could barely take in the details: benefits,
401(k), something about a cafeteria...could she be there Monday at 2:00 for an
interview? Yes, of course.

She
numbly wrote directions and Lynette went on to say that there would be a lot of
competition for the slot from recent college grads, but that Marci’s “life
experience” should give her an edge. Marci didn’t think Lynette heard the
chuckle.

Jake
was scheduled to be in south Georgia most of the weekend, taping  “slice
of life” footage for Jamal Anderson and a player named Cedric Williams, who
went to another tiny high school in a neighboring county. This meant getting
shots of family dinners, and the players tossing a ball with their siblings or
working at their jobs. And, of course, church on Sunday. December was the last
opportunity to get this kind of background footage before all the hustle
leading to “Signing Day” began in January.

Marci
knew this meant Jake would be busy, and that the cell phone reception in the
rural counties was sometimes sketchy, so it didn’t surprise her not to hear
from him. Still, she sent him one text Saturday morning, “I’m sorry,” and
couldn’t help but feel disappointed that he didn’t even respond to that.
Waiting and hoping to hear from him reminded her of the days with Doug. She
vowed optimistically that someday—perhaps even at some point in the near future—she
would no longer be spending weekends surgically attached to her phone, hoping
to hear from a boy.

Doug,
on the other hand, she
did
hear from, and frequently. He was booked at
the Hyatt in downtown Atlanta through Monday morning, and threatening to stay
longer, waiting for her to come see him so they could finish their
conversation. All day Saturday, he left her messages nearly every hour,
narrating his steps through Atlanta, commenting on the tourist spots and
restaurants where he found himself.

“Just
leaving the MLK monument. Very historic, very important, very cool.”

“Underground
Atlanta was a total bust. I can see why they buried it.”

“The
World of Coke is literally the biggest advertisement I’ve ever seen. I can’t
believe they have people
paying them
to listen to their product pitches
and try samples. Clearly I am not the talented marketer I thought I was,
because Coke has taught me I still have a long way to go.”

“Found
a great Thai restaurant. Wish someone was here to share the noodles with me.”

And
so on.

After
2:00, she called back, if only to stop the horrible checklist of Atlanta
sights. “Okay, okay. Enough of the ‘Ugly Texan Visits the South.’ We can have
dinner, but that’s it.”

“Awesome.
We’ll order room service.”

“No
way. I’ll meet you downstairs in the restaurant.”

“Fine.
No pressure. See you at 7:00.”

Before
she could retort that she
knew
there was no pressure because she was
not
coming up to his room, he had hung up.

Suzanne
came home a couple of hours later and they sat talking about her latest
relationship failure: Matt in San Diego. Four days earlier, she had boarded a
plane for California thinking he might be “the one,” but by this morning she
had insisted on taking a cab to the airport rather than letting Matt drive her,
to avoid feeling any more connected to him than absolutely necessary.