The McGilley Trilogy (19 page)

With a resigned sigh, Colin held out his hand. “Come with me.” Colin knew what she wanted, had known for months now that it was leading up to this. He had spent a year denying his attraction to his best friend’s wife and three years trying to come to terms with the role that succumbing to that attraction had played in his death. Staying away from her had proved impossible, especially since he had promised Doug he’d look out for her if anything ever happened to him, but he had been fairly successful in hiding his feelings all this time and vowed to continue to do so, no matter how badly he wanted to do otherwise.

Relieved, Olivia picked up her glass of wine, took his hand and followed him out into the cool October night. “Where are we going?” she asked as he led her around to the back of the building.

“Someplace where we can talk more freely.” Colin led her to the large, sunken fire pit in the rear of the club. Even though there were a few people enjoying the warmth of the fire and each other, their presence wouldn’t intrude on their conversation. Stepping down the two steps into the circular pit, he pulled her down next to him on the cushioned redwood bench. “Okay, Olivia, what is it you want to talk about?”

Olivia welcomed the warmth from the large circular pit, the fire putting out enough heat to make it comfortable sitting out here on such a cool evening. Unfortunately, that comfort didn’t extend to making this any easier for her. As comfortable as she was with Colin, Olivia wasn’t able to bring herself to just blurt out that she needed sex, so instead she started with what had driven her here tonight. “Sarah died yesterday and Keith, her brother, two weeks ago.”

Colin wrapped his arm around her shoulders and drew her next to him. He knew her job as a physician’s assistant at the children’s hospital was stressful, especially when they lost the battle to save a child. He also knew she was damned good at her job and he couldn’t imagine her doing anything else. “I’m sorry, Livie. What happened?”

The nickname threw her for a minute. He hadn’t called her that since before Doug’s death. “Car accident, both parents killed immediately. The odds were against them from the beginning, but still, we hoped, you know?”

“Yeah, I’m sorry. I admire the hell out of you though for the work you do. Doug used to brag about how good you were with such sick kids, how much patience and empathy you had.”

Olivia watched the couple on the other side of the fire as the man flipped his partner over his lap, tossed up her skirt and began to pepper her ass with sharp slaps that echoed in the otherwise quiet night. The other couple had finished fucking and was walking hand in hand up the stairs to go back inside, their faces relaxed, their bodies at ease with each other. She vividly recalled how her own sessions over Doug’s lap or tied up on one of his pieces of bondage equipment had led to not only awesome climaxes, but had worked to ease the tension and stress, enabled her to let go of the failures and embrace the successes of her patients.

“Did he also tell you how I coped with the stress when we lost someone?” she asked turning her eyes from the other couple up to his. Before her husband’s death, she had the luxury of shedding the worries and stress of work the minute she walked in the door and shed her clothes. Living a dom/sub lifestyle twenty four/seven at home had provided the perfect balance in her life to deal with the emotional upheavals she encountered with her work and enabled her to focus on nothing but pleasing her husband at the end of the day.

“I know you lived the lifestyle twenty-four seven at home and I also know that you submitting fully to Doug in no way meant you weren’t strong and independent at work. Is that why you’ve finally decided to return to the club? To find the balance you lost with him?”

She had forgotten how astute most doms were and was grateful for his insight. “Yes, something like that.” The woman getting her ass spanked let out a keening cry of release, the relief and pleasure in her strained voice something Olivia was in desperate need of. How much she craved the fiery pain of a long hard spanking and the ultimate orgasmic pleasure she would gain from it, she thought with longing as she watched the woman’s partner turn her over and cuddle her on his lap.

Damned if he didn’t want to have Olivia in the same position as Mark had Lauren, first face down and at his mercy then face up and sitting on his cock as he relished the feel of her slim body against his once again. The pain and need reflected on Olivia’s face and coming through in her soft, hesitant tone was something Colin simply couldn’t ignore no matter how desperately he wanted to. But before he took such a huge step, one he knew he was going to regret whether he agreed to help her or not, he forced himself to take the time to contemplate all the ramifications to both him and her, and their relationship, if he agreed to help her.

“You want sex, Livie; you know you’re welcome here whenever you want. I’m sure there are a number of men who’ll be happy to see to your needs.”He would simply be sure he wasn’t upstairs when she was with someone, he thought darkly as he tried picturing her with one of the other more dominant members, someone who would be good at helping her get what she needed. It wasn’t a picture he liked, but he had to offer her that choice, had to know for sure what she wanted from him.

“No,” she quickly refused his offer, knowing she wouldn’t be comfortable, at least not initially, with anyone but him. “Please, Colin. I know you, I’m more comfortable with you than with strangers. It’s been so long since I’ve even considered seeking out a man’s touch let alone my own. I just don’t think I could respond right now to a stranger.”

Surprise had him turning towards her on the seat, his eyes seeking the truth from hers. “Olivia, are you telling me you haven’t masturbated since Doug’s death, that you haven’t had any kind of sexual release in three years?” When she simply nodded mutely, Colin swore under his breath. Hell, no wonder she was so pent up with need, so tense and on edge from the sorrows and stress of her job. “Why?”

If anyone could understand, it would be him
, she thought as she felt a blush of mortification steal over her cheeks. At least, she hoped that was the case. Biting her lip, she blurted out, “At first it was the grief then I couldn’t get past the mental block of needing permission.”

Colin closed his eyes as remorse struck him forcefully between the eyes. How could he have been so blind? He knew her need to submit ran deep, was as much a part of her psyche as her blond hair and amber eyes were a part of her attractiveness, but he had been so adamant about keeping himself detached from her on an emotional level he hadn’t seen what was right in front of him.

“Shit, Livie, I’m sorry. I should’ve known that.”

“No, you shouldn’t have and, when you think about it, it’s pretty pathetic, I’m pretty pathetic. Doug’s death freed me from him in all ways, including him being my sexual master. I tried, especially in the last year or so, to get past that block, but I just couldn’t cross that line. It felt like a betrayal, as odd and stupid as that sounds.”

Colin couldn’t bear to hear the self-derision in her tone and lifted her onto his lap before raising her blushing face with a tight grip in her thick hair. “That’s enough,” he snapped. “I won’t listen to you put yourself down. Others, people who don’t understand what we do upstairs or why we enjoy those perverse pleasures don’t matter. The only ones who matter are us, you, Livie, and those of like minds and needs and men like me who can see to those needs.”

Olivia quickly pounced on his statement, saying, “So, you’ll do it, you’ll be my master here at the club?”

“No,” he quickly replied. Being her master implied a commitment he was not able to ever make to her, no matter how much he wanted to. If she knew the responsibility he had to take for Doug’s death, she’d never ask that of him. He just prayed she never found out. “But I’ll be your Dom. If you agree to just that, we can go upstairs together, if not, you’re free to go up and seek out someone else.”

Olivia knew he was telling her he would give her what she wanted, needed, here at the club, and that would probably include others, and that when they weren’t playing together here, they were both free to seek pleasure elsewhere. Since right now she was only interested in relieving this tension that had her coiled like a rattlesnake ready to strike, she quickly agreed even though she had no desire to be touched by anyone but him.

“I agree.”

Chapter Twelve

Colin knew he was walking a fine line by agreeing to top Olivia at the club and he was going to have to give some serious thought as to how to proceed with her before either of them took this too far. His first inclination had been to send her home and have her return next week after he had time to think this through, but he simply couldn’t turn his back on the need he saw in those expressive eyes, eyes that had always reflected the depths of her desire, pain or pleasure without candor. It sounded like she had had a hell of an emotional week, and he wouldn’t send her home without giving her some relief from her stress.

“Come with me then.” Colin stood and held his hand out to her then led her up the back stairs when she grabbed hold. Ignoring the startled looks from a few of his friends who knew Olivia, he allowed her no time to get re-acclimated to the sex charged atmosphere of the club as he led her directly down the hall to the room set up and designed for those interested in bondage. Spotting an empty padded bench he thought would be perfect for what he had in mind, he led her over, dropped her hand and crossed his arms. “Strip,” he ordered, quickly letting her know what he wanted. Tonight she didn’t need to be kept waiting and wondering what he had planned.

Time and celibacy had erased the ease with which she used to obey that command and Olivia found herself looking around the room, noting the familiar St. Andrew’s cross, benches and bondage chairs set in the dimly lit atmosphere and how many people would see her naked, how many would witness whatever Colin had in mind. One part of her, the part that needed this like she needed her next breath, responded to his command with a warm gush of moisture pooling between her legs, but another part, the part that had been buried for so long, was slower to arouse. “Colin,” she started uncertainly, not even sure what she wanted to say or why she was balking because she wanted this, she really, really not only wanted this, but needed it.

“Five swats for not obeying and five for addressing me wrong. Do you want to continue or leave? Or would you prefer a different Dom?”

“No! Please, Master Colin. It just…you just took me by surprise. It’s been a long time…” She stopped when he just raised a dark brow and looked at her with those all too knowing green eyes. Taking a deep breath, Olivia pulled her sweater over her head and put it into his outstretched hand. Even though the room was warm, her bare nipples puckered quickly under his heated look, the taut buds already aching for attention. Recalling Doug’s instructions the first time he had her strip in public, she focused on Colin’s eyes, kept her attention on him and nothing else as she shimmied out of her skirt and thong before handing them over and standing before him in nothing but her black heels.

When she started to toe off those fuck me shoes, Colin raised his palm, stating, “Leave them,” as he took a slow look of her nudity. She had lost weight since he had last seen her naked, but he had known that and it would be something he addressed with her soon. He had nagged her on occasion before tonight about taking better care of herself, but as just her friend, he didn’t have the right to insist. Now he did. Even for all her slenderness, she had a beautiful figure, breasts that would fill his hand topped with rosy, sensitive nipples. A narrow waist that flared out to rounded hips that anchored her long legs. Reaching out, he lightly tugged her blond pubic hair, asking, “Why did you grow this back?”

“It seemed to be a lot of trouble for nothing. I mean there wasn’t any reason for me to continue shaving.”

“There is now. Shave before you return next week. Now, bend over for your punishment.” Colin knew she remembered each and every piece of equipment and what it was used for and he offered her no assistance as she stepped up to the hip high bench and leaned over, bracing herself on her elbows and spreading her feet without being told. “Very good, Livie,” he praised her as he viewed her lush ass and the damp slit below it.

Olivia shuddered in pleasure, a pleasure she derived from both the vulnerable position she put herself into and from the approval she heard in Colin’s voice. She had forgotten how much she enjoyed being so exposed and vulnerable, almost as much as she enjoyed pleasing her master. The first feel of Colin’s large hand lightly cupping her buttock made her gasp at the sheer pleasure of feeling a man’s touch again. Her ass had always been sensitive. She loved her cheeks fondled as much as she loved the feel of a hand or a leather instrument slapping them. Anticipating that first strike, she wasn’t disappointed when it came, grateful that he didn’t make her wait. The slight sting brought a sheen of tears to her eyes as she relished the pleasure/pain that accompanied it. But the next slap reminded her that this was punishment as it landed with a resounding smack that had her gasping, the ensuing pain much sharper.

Colin swatted her ass again, this one even harder, using all his willpower to keep from caressing the bright red splotch he was responsible for like he would do if this was for pleasure. The next three swats were fast, her ass warming with each one. When her hips shifted and she cried out with the eighth blow, he snapped, “Be still,” the command more to keep him in line than her. The last two he made lighter, taking into account the length of time it had been since she had been in such a position.

Caressing her buttocks, he soothed the flesh he had just abused and got a moan of pleasure from her, replacing the cries of pain he had caused seconds ago. Moving his hand downward, he lightly grazed her slit, found it seeping and smiled as he helped her stand.

“You did good, Livie. Hop up now and you can reward yourself.”

“Sir?” Olivia sat on the edge of the bench looking questioningly at him, afraid she knew exactly what he meant. During her spanking, a spanking that left an arousing burn across her ass, she had managed to keep her focus on remaining still and quiet as much as possible, blocking out the rest of the people and activities going on around her. But now, she found herself once again hearing the distinct sounds of slapping flesh accompanied by cries of both pain and ecstasy along with low murmurs of approval. She started to turn her head to look around, to see who might be close enough and uninvolved enough to be watching them, but Colin stopped her by grasping her chin and keeping her eyes on his.