The Memory of All That (9 page)

Chapter 17

The room seemed like it was swirling. Marnie gripped the arms of the chair and commanded herself to calm down. Everyone had been giving hints or telling her outright she was cheating on her husband. Now was the time to get it all out in the open.

She took a deep breath. “Who is Ray?”

For a while she thought David was not going to answer her. When he did, his sarcastic voice was back.

“This new you isn’t going to deny it?”

“How can I deny it? I don’t remember!” her voice rose and cracked. A hint of a sob threatened to take over.
No,
she told herself.
I can’t break down again.

“I don’t remember” she repeated more calmly. “Not you and not a bit of what you’ve told me. Not this Ray. Not even my own son. Now please tell me, who is Ray?”

David’s stare threatened her composure. At last he spoke.

“Ray Boling was head of research and development at Barrett’s.”

“And he and I . . .” She found she couldn’t voice it.

“Over the last four years, I suspected you of having affairs several times, but I couldn’t prove anything. You always denied it, and since you were still flirting with every man around, it was hard to tell. I thought about hiring a private detective to find out, but I guess I didn’t really want to know. Plus, I was so busy getting the plant back to where it was before the deaths of my father and uncle that I let my private concerns slide.

“Then, about six months ago, it became obvious that you and Ray had something going, and when you admitted it, I moved into a guest room. You said you wanted a divorce in order to marry Ray. You made it plain you didn’t want ‘the kid,’ as you called him, but I would have to pay big bucks to get to keep him. ‘A judge always gives a kid to his mother,’ you said.

“I should have filed for a divorce at that point. Mother and Celeste were trying to get me to do it.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“I did talk to my lawyer about it, but things were really hectic at the plant, and I kept putting it off. He was drawing up some papers for you to sign to give me custody of Jonathan, but I never seemed to find the time to go by his office to approve and sign them. I would have paid the money you were demanding in order to keep Jonathan.

“At that point, Ray was giving me some funny looks at work, always smirking at me whenever he passed by. I should have known something more was going on than just the affair, as if that wasn’t enough.”

“Couldn’t you have fired him?” Marnie was amazed to find herself on David’s side in the matter. “You let him continue to work there?”

“He had a contract, and, unfortunately, sleeping with the boss’s wife didn’t break any of the terms.” He snorted. “I never thought I would need to put not sleeping with my wife as a condition of his employment. Anyway, I was looking into a buyout. That was going to cost big bucks, too, if it could be done. I figured that was what you two were aiming for, lots of money for buying out his contract, lots more for relinquishing your rights to Jonathan, maybe even more just to get a divorce.”

“I can’t believe this. I just can’t believe it,” Marnie said as she leaned forward, resting her face in her hands. After a few moments she stood up and started pacing the room, finally stopping and wrapping her arms around the massive bedpost.

“I don’t like this person I was—am. I don’t like me at all!”

“You weren’t very likeable. Sweet and friendly at times, yes. Manipulative, yes. Charming, you bet. But when a person really got to know you, no, you weren’t very likeable.”

“I can see now why your mother doesn’t like me.”

“She has lots of reasons not to like you.”

“Yes, I agree.”

Marnie returned to her chair. “Maybe this is some sort of heavenly retribution, this memory loss. A way to start over.”

David gave a snort of disbelief. “You’ve tried that one too many times for me to believe it again.”

“What do you mean?”

“You constantly tell me you’re going to be good and not do those things again. You promise. It only lasts until the next time.”

“Like what?”

“Staying out until two or three in the morning with no phone call, or even staying out all night. ‘I was with the girls,’ you would say. And ‘I promise I won’t do it again.’ Until the next time.”

Marnie gaped at him, astonished. “I did that?”

“Several times.”

She was marveling at her audacity when David spoke again.

“And promising to do something with Jonathan, to take him somewhere, and never showing up.”

“Oh, no.” She wilted, falling back into the comfort of the chair. “How could I do that to my son?”

“That is why I don’t want Jonathan to become close to you and have you disappoint him another time. That’s why we have to have Mrs. Tucker, someone who is dependable, care for him,” David said angrily. “We sure can’t depend on you, and I’m trying to keep his heart from being broken another time.” He stood in front of her.

“But I—”

“But you what? Won’t do it again? You promise? Your promises aren’t worth anything, Marnie. Not anything.” He ran his fingers through his hair and walked over to look out the window.

Marnie wanted to say, “I don’t remember,” but she had uttered those words too many times already. “I thought I wanted to remember my past, but now, after hearing all that, I’d just as soon it never comes back to me.”

David turned back to her. “And I’m just waiting until you turn back into the old Marnie. I’ve come to believe you really do have amnesia. You’re not a good enough actress to be putting on this show without losing your temper or giving it away in some manner. But the truth is, when you finally recall your old life, you’ll go back to being that way again, and none of us can take that anymore.
I
can’t take it anymore.”

She sat silently. She reckoned he meant they would be divorced and she would lose Jonathan. That would break her heart, for she had grown to love him in the few short days she had known him. She almost laughed aloud at the thought. She had known him since he was born, but it felt like she had only just met him.

Then another thought occurred, and she raised her eyes to David.

“That first night when I found my way home, Ruth was in the downstairs hall, and she said I wouldn’t get away with something. She said I would go to jail. And you have said you need to find something I took. What is that? What else did I do?”

David looked exhausted when he returned to his chair, sinking into it and leaning his head against the back. His eyes looked bleak and sad when he spoke.

“Ray stole the plans and prototype of a secret component the Air Force wants in a newly developed spy drone. He had access to all of it, and he took it. We’ve spent a lot of time and money in developing the technology. Without it, Barrett’s will go under eventually. He was taking it to one of our competitors where he could sell it for millions. Or maybe he was going to sell it to a foreign government. You were, are, with him in the deal.”

Chapter 18

“He . . . we . . . stole it?”

“Yes.”

“How?”

“Ray put the information—drawings, plans, algorithms, and so forth—on a flash drive, put it in his briefcase along with the prototype of the device, and walked out with it, after destroying the information on the company computer, of course. Then he went to the vault at the bank where we keep offsite backup and took that, too. We would never make it possible for anybody get into the vault alone, but Ray conned another person with clearance into cooperating. We have that person under surveillance. We’re trying to decide whether he was a willing accomplice or was duped.”

“But . . .” Marnie sputtered, not really understanding what he was telling her. “But what did he do that for? Surely he couldn’t do anything with it,” she said naively.

“Of course he can. He’s going to sell it to a foreign government, or even one of our competitors, who could claim they invented it. It’s worth millions.”

“Oh my!”

“What’s even worse, we had obtained government money to build the thing to this point, plus spent a lot of our own money developing it. If we can’t produce something to show them, we’ll have to repay the government money, or at least a good portion of it, and that would put Barrett’s out of business.”

“And that’s why you’ve wanted me to remember what happened?”

“That’s it. I’ve been trying to figure out why you’re back here and how come you’ve lost your memory. When I thought you were just pretending, I figured Ray had sent you back home to act as if you couldn’t remember for some reason, maybe to find out what I knew or maybe so I would spend time trying to get information out of you instead of looking for him.”

“But you said you don’t think I’m acting.”

“At first I did, but not anymore. You’re too changed. If you remembered, you would have blown your stack by now or reacted in your usual, characteristic ways. You’re still you, but calmer, more rational. You seem reasonable, even. And Doctor Means said he was positive you were really ill when you returned.”

“What does it all mean, with your prototype and plans still missing and me back?”

“You tell me! You’re the one who ran off with Ray!”

“I can’t. I can’t tell you. I would if I could. You don’t realize how awful it is to be clueless about my past. Even worse, everything you are telling me about what kind of person I am is weighing on me like a ton of bricks. On the one hand, I desperately want to remember my past. On the other, I don’t want to go back to being the person I was.”

“Maybe you and Ray had a falling out over something, if he didn’t send you back to delay my search for him, that is. But that doesn’t explain your amnesia.

“You were really sick, like Doc said, but not sick enough to affect your memory. And you haven’t been in any wreck or been badly injured enough to cause it, either, or else you’d be banged up in some way. So that only leaves a bad emotional trauma, Doctor Means says. But what could that be?”

Marnie got up once again to pace the floor. “No matter what I find out, I’ve got to know what has happened to me. I can’t go through life being this lost person.”

“The one thing we haven’t talked about is drug use.”

“Drug use!” She stopped pacing and stared at her husband. “Don’t tell me I used drugs, too!” she said, dreading to hear David’s answer.

“No, not to my knowledge. But that doesn’t mean you might not have done so after you and Ray left. You might have used something so powerful it knocked you out and left you with no recollection of your past.”

“Oh my God! I hope not!” She put her hands over her face. “Please God, don’t let that be it!” She dropped her hands. “Couldn’t Doctor Means test my blood and find out?”

“I asked him that. He had the sample he took the first night sent here to the local hospital to check for anything relating to your illness, but the local lab can’t test for illegal drugs. It would have to be sent off to another lab for that.”

“I guess I want to know. I mean, I don’t really relish knowing, but I need to know.”

“I think it’s too late now to do that. It’s been too many days. Whatever you took would be out of your system by now.”

Marnie resumed her pacing. “Don’t you have any idea where we went when we left here?”

“No, I don’t know where you went. That’s exactly what I want to know. From what I can piece together, you packed a suitcase and met him at Pine Crest Mall. Your car was found in the parking lot. You must have gotten in his car and drove to a small airfield just east of town. He kept a small plane there, and his car was found in the hangar a few days after you two disappeared.”

“He was a pilot?”

“Yes. He had mentioned it before, I think, but he didn’t talk much about it. After he hatched this plan, I don’t think he wanted people remembering that he could fly. Anyway, he had kept a plane out there for several months—rented a hangar to keep it in out of the weather and away from anyone spotting it and connecting it to him. The man who rented out the space called the plant looking for him a week or so after you and he went missing. Seems Ray owed rent on the hangar, and the owner wanted paid. Ray’s car was inside where the plane had been. So he flew out of here, that much is certain, but where he went I don’t know. We assumed you were with him, but we didn’t know for sure. As far as we knew, he could have killed you to keep you from telling the authorities anything about his plans.”

“Didn’t he have to file a flight plan or something?”

“At a small field like that, the pilot doesn’t have to file anything. Mostly agricultural flights, what they used to call crop dusters, fly out of there, and local pilots who take a plane up on a pretty afternoon for the fun of it. Folks who fly to neighboring towns for the high school football and basketball games keep planes out there, or rent one from the man who owns the place. That’s about all.

“Where you went, I don’t know. Why you’re back, I don’t know. How you got back, I don’t know.”

“And what happened to me to cause me to lose my memory neither one of us knows.”