The Mind (The Reluctant Romantics #1.5) (10 page)

“You did something,” she snapped crossing her arms.

“I can’t help what he did to you and I’m sorry, really, I know how that can hurt, but I did nothing to start this.”

“I don’t believe you. He was going to marry me.”

“Did he tell you that?” I felt a tug of jealousy at the thought.

“No, but it was coming.”

“He made his decision, and I ask that you respect it and our relationship.” Clearly, this wasn’t the right thing to say as I watched her eyes bulge.

“Your relationship?”

“Yes, we are deeply involved now. I’m sorry if that hurts you, but it’s the truth.” I shrugged my shoulders as she took in the yoga pants and t-shirt I was wearing.

“You aren’t even pretty enough for him!”

“Thanks,” I snapped then resumed picking out my lunch.

“He will be back,” she said with false confidence. “I know it. He couldn’t ever get enough of me and you are just a whim.”

“I am the whim he is coming to see tonight!” I seethed, facing her then with my full bitch on.

“Bitch, watch your back."

“Watch my back? What are you, ten? Look, I love Grant. He’s an awesome guy and I am sorry you’re hurting.” I took my tone down a bit, all of a sudden feeling guilty for what Grant had done to her, even if he did believe she was unfaithful. “I
am
sorry you’re hurt.”

“You love him, huh? Well, he loves me and time will tell.”

“Can time tell you to please get your crazy ass away from me! Seriously, we’re old enough to know better. I don’t fight and I certainly don’t fight over men.”

“Men, huh?” she said as she tilted her head in mocking. “How many
are
you dating, Rose? Maybe I should let Grant know.”

“Do whatever you want.
Talk
to whoever you want, but
please
get help somewhere,” I said, looking for the closest escape route.

“I won’t do that.” I saw her lip quiver and her eyes fill with tears. “Look, I’m sorry for what I did to your arm. I just...miss him. I thought things were good.” Her tears flowed freely and it was then I let my compassion take hold. I knew I would be devastated to lose him and hoped my fate would never be similar to hers.

“Can I ask you a question, Rebecca?”

“Why not?” she scoffed, eyeing me.

“Was he wildly romantic with you? Did he declare his love quickly and say...things, you know, to make you fall for him?”

“Wildly romantic? Grant? Ha! Grant doesn’t have a romantic bone in his body. Who are you dating? He’s a realist like me.” I felt my heart soar as she answered me and hastily changed my story to spare her.

“I didn’t mean to imply he was romantic with me. I’m just curious.”

She narrowed her eyes at me. This lady was no dummy. “I can’t handle this. I really hate you. Fuck you both.”

“Have a good lunch,” I called after her. Poor guy, six months of that crap!

I pulled out my phone to let him know he had escaped a life of turmoil when I saw he was already calling. “Did you really go out with that bipolar nut job for six months!?”

“She’s a bit shallow, I know, but she has a decent heart. You just have to dig deep.”

“I would have to dig forever. I can’t believe you dated that
thing
.”

“What happened?” I could hear his concern and smiled.

“Nothing I couldn’t handle.”

“I told you she was an in between. I miss you.”

“I don’t blame you now for dropping her the way you did. I miss you, too. Are you on your way?” I felt a flutter of excitement race through me. He was what I looked so desperately forward to after a week with Dr. McGuire.

“No, I can’t come. That’s why I’m calling.”

“Damn, I had dinner and everything...Oh, Grant, is it your father? How is he?”

“It’s pretty bad.” The sadness in his voice let me know it was worse than usual.

“Oh, I’m so sorry.”

“I don’t know how long he has, Rose. I’m afraid I won’t be back, you know...until after it happens.”

“Oh, no, Grant, I miss you, but I understand. Look, I have some time off starting tomorrow. Can I come to you?”

“You’d do that?” His voice was shaky and I could tell he was at his whit’s end.

“Yes, of course. You are my future husband, right?” I teased.

“I sure am, baby. I need you so much.”

“I’ll leave tonight. Text me the address, okay?”

“I will. I can’t wait to see you.”

“Me too.”

I loved him. I knew it. I had known it since our first date. It wasn’t something that crept up on me. I knew and the logical side of me fought it with everything I had until the romantic swooped in a pushed me over the cliff I had been teetering on. Grant never pushed me as hard after our day at the pond. He really never had to. It had been the most romantic month of my life. I accepted all he gave me with open arms. Loving him back was the easiest thing I’d ever done. Hearing Rebecca’s words confirmed everything I thought about Grant after that day at the pond. This wasn’t typical of him, not at all. I saw it in our time together after that fateful day. He had a good head on his shoulders, he often thought before he spoke, and was always the doting boyfriend. He worked hard and appeared smart with his money. He bought his land in his late teens and had just paid it off last month. He kept his promise to not interrupt my schoolwork seriously, often sitting on the couch with my feet on his lap while I had my face buried in books for hours in work. He never asked me for what I couldn’t give and did his best to take care of me. I would see the look wash over him when he kissed me or touched me and I knew this was what love could really do. I believed that Grant was a realist, because I was too until we fell in love so quickly it shook our belief systems to the core. We spent a lot of our free days at his land walking and talking about the future, and getting naked underneath our tree, dreaming of the home he wanted to build. I would even entertain his idea that I would be a part of it all because I desperately wanted to be. For the first time in my life, I was letting the romantic reign and it felt incredible. I was lost in love and I didn’t give a damn how hard I’d fallen back into reality the last time. My ex, David, had broken a piece of my heart but had never touched my soul. Grant moved me in a way that he had taken complete care of both. My heart was heavy with love; my soul was filled with contentment.

Sudden, maybe, but in my mind, the words were repetitive:
Just in time. Just in time.

As I began the drive, I was excited to see the other parts of Grant’s life, yet was saddened I was about to meet his father for the first and last time. He had been resisting his pain meds recently and for Grant it was agonizing. He would often scream out as Grant and I spoke on the phone. He had gotten a second wind in the last few days and was talking normally, which excited Grant, but I felt the dread in me as his excitement on the phone crossed the line. A second wind was often a sign that the end was near. I had spent hours and hours on the phone in the last month with the specialists, only to realize it was the worst-case scenario, and there was nothing that could be done.

I drove through the night, thinking about the last time I saw Grant. He’d patiently waited all day as I performed a carefully constructed surgery on an orange on my kitchen counter.

I kept my headphones on as I cut into and stitched orange after orange, perfecting my technique. Vintage rap mix blaring, I got lost in my task, which apparently had lasted a lot longer than I thought. I could feel the soreness of being on my feet start to creep in but resisted. I needed to build my stamina. I was working on my last orange when my headphones were plucked out of my ears. I looked up to see Grant with the cord in his hand, “All I Need” by Method Man resounding through the kitchen.

I gave Grant a smile. “Yes, dear?”

“I’ve been here for nine hours.”

“Shit, really?”

“Yes, and I’m not mad. My dick is furious, but I’m not mad.”

I laughed as I began to sway my hips to the music. “Good to know, and I’m so sorry,” I said, snapping off my gloves. “I didn’t mean to take that long.”

“I told you I would be cool about it and I will,” he said, leaning in to give me a slow kiss. “But I’m starving and feeling slightly neglected and...I kind of like this song.”

I looked at him curiously as he pulled me to him and cradled my body and began to move. But not the way I expected him to. He was slow dancing with me to rap music.

“Grant, you do know this song is more upbeat, right?”

He ignored me as he moved his feet back and forth, dancing with me slowly until the song ended.

I took the exit for the highway that would lead me to him with only one thought on my mind
: He’s perfect. Perfect.

****

I arrived early morning to a completely destroyed version of the man I’d been envisioning all night. I hadn’t realized the toll his father’s impending death had taken on him. He greeted me at my truck door and wrapped his arms around me. I knew then it was one of the best decisions I’d ever made to go to him. He hadn’t asked, but I felt his need for me.

“Grant, it’s time you let someone help you with this. It’s too much to shoulder alone.” He pulled away and I could see the deep circles underneath his eyes.

“The hospice nurse helps, I’m...I’m just...I don’t know what I am, but I can’t tell you how much this means to me. It means everything to me that you’re here.”

“I’m so sorry. I called everyone I knew. No one could draw a different conclusion,” I said, feeling as if I had failed him.

“I know you did everything you could.” He kissed my lips tenderly, and as an afterthought added, “Do you think I expected you to save him?”

“I just really wanted to, I guess.”

“And I love you more for it,” he said, finally breaking our hug and grabbing my bag from my SUV. Grant hadn’t said the words to me and I was slightly stunned at his admission. I figured he would in his own time and that right now he wasn’t exactly worried about how I would interpret them. Still something inside my chest squeezed hard.

His father’s house was nestled in the Smokies and looked exactly like Grant had described. It was a small log cabin and had a ton of charm. I fell in love with it instantly.

“You’re going to sell it?” I said quietly as we walked to the doorway.

“I want the home in Texas more. Besides, I think this will be too painful, you know...without him here.”

“I understand. I’m sorry I said anything.”

“Don’t be. I love it, too. I’ll miss it.”

His eyelids were slipping shut and he was way too pale. Once he set down my bags, I ordered him to bed. He refused until I joined him and we had our arms wrapped around each other. Once settled, he quickly fell into a deep sleep, and I got to work inside the house, cleaning, cooking, and preparing freezer meals for him to heat up.

I waited until his father was awake to greet him. When I walked in, I immediately noticed he was a deep shade of yellow. His room was small in comparison to the size of his large oak bed, and I scanned the machine next to it, assessing his vitals. My heart dropped when I took in his features. Grant was a carbon copy of his father, who was currently gasping for air and moaning in pain. I stamped down my tears but had a horrible time with my quivering lip. It took all my strength to smile at him with my heart sinking in my chest. As a doctor, I’d seen cases like this without faltering. As someone that loved Grant, it was too much to bear.

“You must be Rose. Ah, honey, you are a dream to look at.”

“I am, sir. Nice to meet you.”

“Call me Davis.”

“I will, Davis, thank you. How are you feeling?” I asked as I approached his bed with the confidence of the doctor I was training to be.

“Like I’m dying.” His smile was supposed to comfort me, so I returned it the best I could.

“Well, let’s at least take advantage of the good drugs. I’ll administer this to you when the nurse comes back in.”

“I want to be awake for this,” he said adamantly.

“Davis.” I started trying to get my wording right. “Grant told me you have been refusing the meds. I know you love your son, but please know he is losing his mind over this. I’m asking you for him. Please just take a little of the medicine so he doesn’t have to hear you scream out and so you can be a little more comfortable. We can give you a light dose. Please don’t let this hurt more than it has to.”

He simply nodded and I took a seat next to him. As soon as the nurse came back she happily administered the medication and left us to talk.

“His momma was beautiful, too. Did a number on me, but I expected it when I married her. She was way too antsy, never liked it here.”

“Grant told me she left when he was very young.”

“She was a decent mother to him. She just beat me to the punch,” he said, gasping as more pain hit him.

“Davis, if it hurts you to talk, then I’ll let you rest.” I didn’t realize I was holding my breath until his pain passed and I exhaled it.

“Oh, honey, I’ve been dealing with this shit for years. I’m ready, you know. I think I’ve just been hanging on for my boy.”