The Mirror of Her Dreams (85 page)

'Well, you have to admit,' he cried through his mirth, 'it's logical.'

She had no idea what to do. Was he really hysterical? He had a right to be: he was under enough strain. Did that mean she was supposed to slap him?

She was supposed to tell him about the riders of her dream. She knew that. Yet she couldn't do it. She was afraid.

'It all comes back to you.' Trying to stop himself, he set his teeth into one knuckle hard enough to draw blood. The pain helped him regain a measure of steadiness. 'Even if you didn't have anything to do with it. Even if you're just here because I have some amazing new talent no one has ever heard of before. There still has to be a reason. A reason why I translated you instead of somebody else. Otherwise it was only an accident. Doesn't mean anything. One way or another, it's the fundamental question of Imagery. You
are
the answer.'

Like Master Barsonage, he couldn't meet her gaze.

'Disbanded. My whole life-ever since I came to Orison- Oh, Terisa.'

But he didn't let her touch him. 'It's probably just as well,' he said, making a gallant and miserable attempt to sound gay. 'I spent most of my time trying to get out of doing my work anyway. Now I can concentrate on more important things.'

Roughly, he insisted on escorting her to visit Artagel.

Along the way, he walked like a man who had something broken in his chest and didn't know what it was. Nevertheless he kept moving. His self-control gave the impression that he had no conception of how much he had been hurt.

Artagel's quarters were in a part of Orison which she had only visited once, during Geraden's tour-a vast warren of rooms built every which way around and on top of each other. She wouldn't have taken it for the castle's equivalent of a barracks if she and Geraden hadn't encountered so many guards, and if she hadn't seen interspersed among the rooms the obviously military halls where the guards mustered. From the look of the place, she guessed that each man had at best one room to himself: the larger rooms were probably shared. Artagel, however, had a modest suite-a bedroom, sitting room, pantry, and lavatory which together took up less space than her bedroom.

Most of the suite was unadorned, almost unfurnished: its occupant apparently didn't spend enough time in Orison to care about his rooms. Or perhaps his sense of
home
was focused exclusively on Houseldon. Whatever the reason, his quarters contained only one piece of decoration-a long rack, stretching across two walls of the sitting room, from which hung a clutter of variously snapped and shattered swords.

They're all blades that failed him,' Geraden whispered in explanation as he led her towards the bedroom.

There Artagel lay on an austere bed, a simple wooden frame with strips of cloth woven across it to support a pallet. He had no fireplace, and the air was cool. In addition, he was naked to the waist, except for the bindings wrapped around his middle. Nevertheless sweat streaked his skin, and his eyes smouldered darkly, like secret fires.

Geraden had warned her that he was feverish; but she was still taken aback to see him grinning as though he were about to go down under Gart's next attack.

She had rehearsed a speech for him, wanting to thank him; but it failed her. There was no fat on him: all his muscles were outlined clearly under his skin. And the sweat emphasized his scars, making them catch the light differently so that she couldn't ignore them. He had been cut and cut-part of his chest looked like someone had once stuck a pole through it, and he hadn't been able to grow enough tissue to refill the wound. And under his bandages was another wound-

Her eyes spilled tears, making him a blur of reflected lamplight. 'I'm sorry. I don't know why he wants to kill me. I swear I don't know why he wants to kill me.'

'My lady.' His eyes glittered through the blur, and his voice sounded like his eyes. 'Your cheek is almost healed. That's good. When he hit you, I couldn't see how bad it was. I thought I was too late. Then this idiot'-he was referring to Geraden-'jumped him and nearly got his neck broken. I thought you were both lost. I'm glad you've got quick reflexes.'

While Terisa blinked her vision clear, he added, 'I've been practising that counter he used on me. I think I know what to do about it now.'

'If you ever get the chance to find out,' Geraden put in gruffly, 'I'm going to tie you down until it's all over. That way, we won't have to find out whether he can beat you three times in a row. I can't stand the suspense.'

Artagel's smile looked like the fire in his gaze. 'That's the trouble with you. You don't have any confidence in me.'

Geraden wasn't having a good day. For a moment, Terisa feared he might lose his grip on himself. But somehow he managed to smile back at his brother. 'Oh, shut up,' he muttered in a thick growl. 'You're breaking my heart.'

'You heard him, my lady.' Unexpectedly, Artagel began falling asleep. 'If you wake up one morning and find yourself dead, with me tied up on the floor beside you, you'll know what happened. No confidence.' He closed his eyes, and a subtle tension faded out of him.

She and Geraden left him to rest.

For two more days, nothing happened. The thaw weakened, but didn't break. Mindlin sent word that her material had arrived. Argus and Ribuld found no trace of Nyle. To pass the time, Terisa took long, aimless walks through Orison; she even revisited the bazaar because she wanted some fresh air. Now whenever she left her rooms alone at least one guard accompanied her: Castellan Lebbick had made his orders for her protection stricter. But she saw no sign of Prince Kragen or the High King's Monomach anywhere.

Not long after breakfast on the third day, however, Geraden came to her rooms. 'I've just had a talk with the Tor,' he announced, trying to sound cheerful. He was feeling too much stress to carry it off, unfortunately.

She asked the natural question. 'What did he want?'

'He wanted to tell me about his conversation with Elega.'

'And how did it go?'

'Not very well. I think he underestimated her.' Geraden shook his head. He didn't like what he was thinking. 'You remember he said he wanted to teach her 'the fear of discovery'. Unfortunately, she doesn't seem to fear discovery. 'She declines to be taught,' he said. In fact, she defied him to produce one scrap of proof that she was in communication with Prince Kragen.

'That was bad enough,' he commented. 'Whatever her plan is, it's already at work. And she's sure we can't stop her. But-' He grimaced and met Terisa's gaze glumly. 'She was so convincing the Tor isn't sure he believes us any more.'

Terisa winced.

'He made quite a speech about it. He told me that before I aimed any more accusations at my own brother and the King's eldest daughter I should make an effort to produce a witness or two, instead of relying on empty-headed suspicions.'

'But I
saw
Prince Kragen and Nyle meet each other,' she protested.

He shook his head again. They both emerged from behind the same tent. Maybe they just happened to go back there at the same time to relieve themselves.'

'Do you think I'm wrong?'

'No,' he answered at once. 'He's behaving too strangely. There has to be an explanation.' A moment later, however, he added in a pained tone, 'But I wouldn't want Castellan Lebbick to throw him in the dungeon for reasons as thin as what we have.'

That expression of certainty did little to make her feel better.

Geraden returned to spend the evening with her. They were together when a guard brought a message from Argus and Ribuld. It was cryptic:

'Got Nyle. See Artagel.'

So Terisa and Geraden went to see Artagel.

He was half sitting up in bed, with several pillows propped behind his back, and he looked clearer and cooler of eye, less feverish. His smile was distant and a little sad, rather than fierce. 'He came to visit me,' he explained. 'They picked him up when he left.'

'I don't understand,' muttered Geraden. 'He's been hiding out for days. Why did he suddenly decide to visit you?'

Artagel tried to shrug; the movement hurt his torso. 'If
you
don't understand, don't expect
me
to figure it out.' He wasn't being sarcastic. 'I don't understand him any better than I understand you.'

Geraden ignored that remark. 'What did he want to talk about? What did he say?'

The memory emphasized Artagel's unaccustomed sadness. In a thin voice, he said, 'He didn't look glad to see me. I suppose that's because I'm hurt. But he's seen me hurt before. At least I'm not dead. If he was worried about me, wouldn't he be glad to see I'm getting better?

'Anyway, he asked me if there was any news from Houseldon. But he's been there more recently than I have. He asked me'- Artagel's eyes avoided Geraden's-'when you were going to stop embarrassing the family here and go back home where you belong. I didn't try to answer that.'

Geraden held himself still.

'Then he asked me what would happen to Orison in a siege, now that we've got that breach. The last time I saw it, the wall Lebbick is building wasn't very impressive. He asked me if we had any defence left. He asked me how long I thought it would be before King Joyse got us into a war with
somebody.
But he wasn't listening to the answers.

Then-' Artagel stared at the ceiling while the lines in his face got deeper, cut by what he remembered. Then he told me how much he admired me. I was his hero-I was
always
his hero. The first thing he could remember about his own life was wanting to be like me. But he just didn't have the balance, or the reflexes. And his muscles refused to develop the right kind of strength for a longsword.

'And everybody in the family seemed to be content with him the way he was, when the way he was wasn't what he wanted. Having his parents and his brothers content with him did nothing except make his heart ache. Nobody expected him to be
good
at anything. They were proud of me. And they were ambitious for you. They wanted you to marry Elega and become a great Imager. But nobody wanted anything from him. Or for him.'

Swallowing hard, Artagel stopped.

Ts that it?' asked Geraden quietly. 'He didn't say anything else?'

'I told you,' Artagel snarled. 'Don't expect me to explain it.' But his anger wasn't aimed at Geraden. The best I could think of was to ask him how he managed to admire me, when I didn't even have a home of my own or a woman who could put up with me, not to mention children, and I was lying here with a stupid
hole
in my ribs after the High King's Monomach had already beaten me twice.'

Geraden put a hand on his brother's shoulder. 'Don't worry about it. There was nothing you could have said that would have made a difference. He's already committed.' His tone was more reassuring than his expression. 'He was just trying to apologize.'

'Apologize? For what?'

Tor choosing the other side.' Geraden sounded like he understood perfectly. 'If everything he and Elega and Prince Kragen are planning works out-and you and I don't turn our backs on King Joyse-he might end up being responsible for our deaths.' A note of grimness came into his voice. That's why we have to stop him. He'll hardly be able to stand the rest of his life if he has both of us on his conscience. On top of everything else.'

Terisa watched the two brothers study each other. Finally, Artagel managed a crooked smile. 'Well, I'm not going to be much help. That physician swore he'll have me clubbed if I try to get out of bed too soon. But there probably isn't a guard in Orison who doesn't know Ribuld and Argus are trying to do you a favour for me. You should be able to get all the support you need.'

Somehow, Geraden chuckled. 'I would rather have you. But I suppose I ought to be satisfied with one or two thousand of Castellan Lebbick's best men.' Then he sighed. 'I hope he doesn't keep us waiting much longer. I want to know what's going on.'

Terisa felt the same way.

As it happened, Nyle didn't keep them waiting much longer. In fact, if Argus and Ribuld hadn't found him when they did, they probably would have missed him altogether. Before dawn the next morning, while Terisa was still in bed, tangled in sweaty sheets and dreaming that she could see Gart's blade as it came for her like the edge of a star, she was awakened by a wooden pounding and Geraden's voice.