The Misadventures of a Playground Mother (19 page)

Taking a deep breath I exhaled, my head was sore and my pulse was throbbing.

‘How can she be so bitter about it? Penelope knows that the money has nothing to do with her whatsoever. Do you think Rupert knows about the win?'

‘Hell no! If she thinks she will be triumphant in getting her hands on any part of fifty thousand pounds I bet my bottom dollar she won't divulge that type of information to him. If she was ever successful, which she can't be by the way, Rupert would fleece her for half.'

‘Good point, except most of the village already knows about her internet crusade. It won't be long before he learns of her actions.'

‘They will soon move onto something else, you will be yesterday's fish and chip paper before we know it. Wait until Penelope's scandal is revealed, that she was knocked up by the speed-dating god in a snooker hall toilet, and hopefully, she will soon be up to her armpits in dirty nappies to even give you a second thought.'

Melanie was talking sense; enough was enough. There is only one thing people like this thrive on and that's confrontation. I didn't need to explain to anyone. I won that money fair and square and I certainly was not having a slanging match with BB over the internet – it was nothing to do with her – it was nothing to do with anyone.

‘Here's hoping,' I replied positively.

Melanie had some errands to run that morning so we finished the tea and she headed off into town. ‘See you back here for the school run later', she said as she departed. I settled down for a morning playing with Matilda and Daisy and tried to take my mind off the situation.

A
t 2.45pm there
was a knock on the door, and I found Melanie on the other side. ‘Let me in, I have some news.'

Intrigued, I flung the door open wide and invited her in to the kitchen.

‘When I left here this morning, I telephoned the Farrier. He was in the middle of shoeing a horse up at the old farm house at the top of the hill.'

‘Mr Boardman's place?'

‘Yes that's the one, Mr Boardman the solicitor. The Farrier was appalled by the mothers' behaviour; I think his words were: ‘damn right outrageous, cruel, malicious and spiteful' to be more precise. Once he finished shoeing the horse, he rapped on Mr Boardman's door. Over a cup of tea the Farrier explained the situation to him. With his thirty-five years' experience in the legal world, Mr Boardman assured the Farrier that Penelope didn't have a leg to stand on; it's all hot air. There is nothing she can do; you paid for the ticket, both tickets in fact. The ticket was in your possession and the money is definitely deposited in your account.'

‘That's fantastic! Please thank the Farrier for going out of his way,' I replied, beaming, as relief flooded through my veins.

‘However, he has given us some other advice.'

‘What other advice?''

‘Also in his thirty-five years' experience he has witnessed how times have changed. Due to the advancement of technology, these types of people become brave. They hide behind their computers to voice lies and cause hatred, and influence people who before the age of a computer would have no idea what was going on in anyone's life. A new type of bully has emerged over the last few years. These people judge people on others' opinions, yet in time, their opinions can change, leaving some people with egg on their face. He has advised that you should erase these people from your life. Do not look at their posts; walk away, and remember that no message is always the best message. The best way to keep your dignity is to remain silent. By not reacting to their nonsense, what can they do? People will eventually be fed up with Penelope if she is uttering the same nonsense over and over again and she is only winding herself up. The ones who are shouting the loudest usually have the most to hide. I have to say, my money is on the mothers falling out with each other sooner or later.'

‘There's never a dull moment in this village is there? Melanie, I can't believe you would even choose to move back here.'

Melanie smiled, ‘If it wasn't for the Farrier I would have never returned. Look at the time; drink up, the school run is upon us. Let the battle commence!'

As we approached the school gates, it was just as we predicted, they were all lurking outside on the picket line again, and I was shocked to see they had recruited two more bodies.

I turned to Melanie, ‘have you seen who is with them?'

‘Yes I have noticed them.'

I felt my breath quicken and my chest tighten. What were they hoping to gain by this silly, outlandish behaviour?

I think they needed a reality check. Their offspring were of school age, not them – even though they were giving a very good impression.

Once we were inside the playground, Melanie admitted that she would have felt safer trapped inside the lion's enclosure at the local zoo. These women were brutal; they actually spat venom at us as we passed.

‘Remember what Mr Boardman advised, if we don't fuel the fire it will dampen their flames. They will soon get sick of going over the same thing time and time again and move on to the next drama.'

‘I was a little taken aback with Denise and Pam's participation in their tribe; I'd always thought they were made of better stuff.'

‘Yes, I was somewhat shocked at their involvement especially with their do-good personalities, and running the local kids' groups. Why would they even be listening to Penelope, why would they even care?' 'Onwards and upwards! The question is would you welcome any one of these people into your life if we weren't for the school connection?' I asked.

‘The simple answer would be no.'

‘Melanie Tate you do talk sense.'

T
he first day of July
, I entered into my official summer style. Soup was ditched as lunchtime fare and was replaced with fresh meats, salads, tomatoes, onions, and cucumber blended together with the finest balsamic vinegar and olive oil accompanied by torn ciabatta bread.

Evening strolls in the warm sun with the family and dog were a must. I pushed the pram while the older children cycled alongside us, jangling their pocket money as we headed to the village pub for a treat of Coca-Cola and salt and vinegar crisps.

A month had passed since we had experienced the wrath of Penelope's gang and fortunately, for Melanie and me, we had survived her and her dithering army. Allegedly, she had been laughed out of her solicitor's office. Apparently, he confirmed she had absolutely no claim to any money from the lottery scratch card and it was more likely that Rachel Young could relieve her of a fair sum of money for spreading of malicious rumours and for online abuse.

The school run was still unpleasant but Penelope's soldiers were beginning to disperse as Mr Boardman had predicted. However, Penelope's feeling of being hard done by was still keeping her grudge burning, it wasn't burning brightly but nonetheless, it was still there.

But the friendships that were thrown together to feed off drama were soon eradicated. The mothers didn't have anything else in common or to talk about once Melanie and I held our heads high and carried on with our business as if they didn't exist. The only people they were winding up were themselves.

Penelope's baby bump was beginning to grow and show, emerging from underneath her tightly clinging tunics. She was happy to encourage the rumours, she herself was circulating amongst her fellow mafia companions, that Rupert had abandoned her and their unborn child.

I
t was
all brought to a head one Saturday afternoon in early July. A Saturday afternoon when the world and his wife, brought together by their children, were trawling around the school summer fair, and being stung for overpriced burgers, or paying extortionate rates for a single ice-cream.

The sun was beating down and there wasn't a single cloud in the sky. I reluctantly left the solitude of my back garden and met Melanie by the front gate. I was feeling a little unwell but I couldn't quite put my finger on why, and school social events made me feel even worse – they were so not on my agenda. We walked along the pavements, with the children, to the fair.

By the entrance to the school field sitting behind their tables rattling their plastic margarine pots, as they collected the 20p entrance fee, were Denise and Pam. Neither Melanie nor I had given them the time of day after they both jumped on to Penelope's bandwagon concerning the scratch card fiasco. Our children had also been affected by their actions since Melanie and I no longer deemed them worthy of looking after them in any of the kids' groups they were associated with. Their behaviour was simply unprofessional.

Entering the field, Melanie and I scanned the area. It was heaving with children running riot with balloons, young children crying over their spilt ice cream, and parents whose voices could be heard reiterating to their children that there was no money left after their excessive spending on absolutely nothing.

All the stalls were looking wonderful though; the brass band was playing and the bunting that weaved in and out of the bandstand brought it to life with bursts of colour. Bridget the headmistress was bumbling around the field welcoming everyone; dressed in her khaki shorts and camouflage sun visor, she looked as if she had just come back from a safari.

‘Where shall we go first?' Melanie enquired.

‘Who are we avoiding the most?' I laughed. ‘Well BB is over in that camp as usual; looks like she has taken over the Pimms and gin on the alcohol stall; Penelope is in the opposite corner supervising hook a duck, and in the northern camp there is Rupert.'

Glancing around the field, I spotted BB first.

‘Well, she doesn't leave a lot to the imagination dressed like that does she?' I mused.

BB's skin resembled a tan leather handbag and without a doubt, you could buy dental floss wider than her bikini top. All her ‘goods' were in the shop window so to speak and it appeared she was happy to let anyone have a quick sample of her wares. She plainly wouldn't look out of place on the beach of Benidorm. Every time she took a sip of her gin and tonic from the plastic cup, a paper umbrella poked her in the eye.

However, Penelope, tottering on the grass in her high heels, with her hat and matching fancy bag and gloves, appeared to be ready for her debut at the Queen's annual garden party at Buckingham Palace, rather than the primary school summer fair. ‘Have you seen Penelope?' I whispered.

‘Yes,' replied Melanie, ‘she thinks she has wandered out of the paddock on ladies' day but to me it looks like she is late for a big fat gypsy wedding!'

‘I'm surprised Bridget has even considered letting her loose near the money from hook a duck after the uniform caper.'

‘Hook a duck isn't going to bring in hundreds of pounds though is it? Maybe she is trying to redeem herself, but one thing is for sure, she is definitely taking this event seriously.'

Rupert was standing next to his new flame with his arm draped around her waist. I hadn't clapped eyes on him since the holiday. Rupert wasn't dressed in his usual attire; he was wearing a cream linen suit with the top buttons open a little to reveal a deep purple silk cravat, and poking out of his jacket pocket was a matching silk handkerchief. He was most definitely into colour co-ordination today; the brown leather man bag he was carrying under his arm matched his brown leather loafers on the end of his feet. In spite of all the effort he had gone to, he was flying low, for his shirttail poking through his fly.

‘Rupert thinks he is a dream boat,' sniggered Melanie.

‘He's more like a Belgian trawler, does the job, but not much to look at,' I giggled.

'Which way shall we go then? Wherever we choose, we are going to bump into one of them.'

Crossing my arms like the Scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz I said, ‘this way! Let's wander over to the drinks stall; the children have run off with their pocket money; we can sit out of the way under the trees at the back of bandstand; it may not be peaceful there but it's tucked out of the way.'

BB was slurring her words when we reached the alcohol stall; it was possible she had sneakily drunk more gin than she had sold.

Standing in front of the table, BB looked up, ‘Yes?' she snarled.

Melanie flicked her hair over her shoulder and flared her nostrils; she wasn't in the mood for Botox Bernie's lack of customer service.

‘Two gin and tonics please,' Melanie requested politely but firmly.

I fumbled in my purse looking for change but it seemed it wasn't change I should have been looking for. BB slammed two plastic cups down on the table and thrusting out her hand, she demanded ten pounds.

‘Are you sure? Is it really ten pounds for two small plastic cups of gin & tonic? That's extortionate, you could purchase a bottle of gin for that price,' Melanie stated.

‘Well, you can afford it,' BB nastily fired back nastily in my direction.

‘Afternoon ladies, let me get these drinks for you.'

That was music to my ears but instantly recognising Rupert Kensington's voice, I whipped my head round to find him standing directly behind us.

Before I could object, Melanie had already accepted his generous offer. ‘Thank-you, that is very kind of you.'

His gaze was fixed on us while he handed a ten-pound note over to BB. She snorted some underhand comment, but none of us paid her any further attention.

‘I am glad I've managed to catch up with you,' Rupert said.

‘Is everything OK?' I asked.

‘Yes, I hope so, I just wanted to apologise for Penelope's behaviour, the holiday, the lack of payment; I am deeply ashamed of the way we treated you. It's no excuse now I know, but I let Penelope influence my judgement mainly because of the children and we should never have gate-crashed your family holiday.'

Melanie raised her eyebrows at me while BB was straining to hear every word.

‘What's done is done Rupert, put it behind you, it looks like you have anyway,' I answered, smiling up at the woman who was standing beside him.

‘Forgive me, where are my manners? Rachel, Melanie this is Sue, Sue France.'

Standing next to Rupert was a woman who looked approximately the same age as Rupert; she was stunning, petite with flaming red hair that had the most amazing shine I had ever seen. I had seen Sue in the village but I hadn't realised that she was the owner of the posh car.

‘Pleased to meet you,' Melanie and I said at the same time.

She stretched out her hand.

‘Do you have children at the school?' I asked.

‘Yes, two boys, they are running around somewhere I think they are currently throwing wet sponges at the headmistress in the stocks.'

We all laughed.

‘The school has done a fantastic job this year, the bunting and the band are fantastic, and Rupert has been amazing; he was up at the crack of dawn hanging the bunting up.

I thought at this point, BB might pop out of her dental-floss bikini top; she was leaning on her hands, and looking over the table pretending to search for someone on the field when actually she was trying to listen in to our conversation.

‘Oh has he now? He's been amazing has he?' came an all too familiar voice from behind us.

All of us spun round.

This was the first time I'd been in touching distance of Penelope since her vile online abuse. I felt sickened by her presence.

BB couldn't believe her luck; she had secured the prime viewing spot of this chance meeting. Entertained and enjoying every second of the floorshow, she tossed her empty plastic cup into the bin and swigged the gin straight from the bottle.

The summer fair was in full swing around us. The brass band was still playing and the sound of excited children's laughter echoed in the air. Bridget the headmistress, was demonstrating what a very good sport she was with her arms and head dangling from the stocks whilst the pupils from the reception class chucked wet sponges in her face for 10p a throw.

Penelope was smouldering, her cheeks burning with rage, I could see she was about to let rip.

I began to worry about how this was going to end. I wanted to be anywhere else but here. Flicking my eyes towards Melanie, my look suggested we exit this gathering sooner rather than later, but Melanie had other ideas. She was rooted to the spot, going nowhere fast.

‘Yes, he has been amazing,' said Sue strongly, in a voice of grit. ‘Not that amazing, abandoning his two children and deserting his wife,' Penelope fired back.

Melanie and I shot each other a puzzled look, neither of us knowing where she was going with this.

‘Yes, that's right Rupert, you stand there pretending life is all hunky dory in your linen suit, creating the impression you are off punting down the river. All you're missing is a straw hat,' she sniped.

‘You say the nicest things Penelope,' Rupert hissed at his soon-to-be ex-wife's mock outrage.

I felt the urge to scoop Melanie up and run like hell. There was already a crowd of people gawping as they gathered around the verbal war, and BB's view was now obscured. There was only one thing for it, she quickly poured gin into plastic cups and began circulating them free amongst the onlookers, securing yet again another prime viewing spot. Penelope gave the impression she was enjoying every minute of this charade. She was standing tall.

‘What sort of man can abandon his wife and family and take up with her?' she jabbed her finger in Sue's direction. 'You've cast aside your own children and welcomed in two more.'

Penelope's voice was becoming higher pitched by the second. I was praying to God she didn't go into premature labour. The last thing anyone needed at this precise moment was Penelope huffing and puffing on all fours while giving birth to a mini Jonny Vegas on the school field.

Penelope needed to tone down her displeasure of Rupert's new relationship; there were three people here who were fully aware that Rupert had not abandoned his kids and a pregnant wife and we were all standing in the vortex of Penelope's outrage.

Judging by the look on Rupert's face, he wasn't going to stand there in front of a field full of parents and be accused of abandoning his family. Granted he hadn't been a saint in the past but to our knowledge he didn't have mini Ruperts running around – well not in the village of Tattersfield anyway.

‘I think you are absolutely deluded, kidding yourself, and generating ridiculous rumours in front of all these people here,' he yelled at her, throwing his arms up into the air. ‘I tolerated you Penelope; you lured me back into your tangled web of deceit boasting there was a free holiday up for grabs in Spain, and that it wasn't going to cost us a thing. Well it has cost us; it cost us our marriage.'