Read The Missing Marriage Online
Authors: Sarah May
âI don't know â where do you want to go?'
âNorway,' Martha said decisively.
Jamie, who'd been smiling happily, stopped smiling and gave his nose a few vicious rubs as he tried to work this one out.
âI've always wanted to go to Norway,' Martha carried on, âit's just across the sea â I'd like to see the fjords.'
He kept flicking her nervous glances while trying to keep his eyes on the road.
She watched his face tense as he thought about this then laid her hand suddenly on his arm, âBut not today,' she reassured him.
Then his face broke suddenly into a smile again.
Martha stared out the window thinking about a lot of things at once â including Norway.
âHow was school today?' he asked after a while.
For some reason the question made her laugh.
âGood? Not good?'
âIt's never good.' She carried on staring out the window as they passed a gas works on their left.
âThat bag of yours looks heavy.'
âIt is,' she said, looking down at her rucksack. âBooks â games kit.'
âSo what is it, O'Levels this year or whatever they call them?'
âGCSEs â some this year, some next.'
âHow many are you taking?'
âTwelve â including Mandarin.'
âWhat the fuck's Mandarin?'
âChinese.'
Jamie laughed. âSeriously?'
âSeriously. China's emerging as a market leader.'
âListen to you,' he said, pleased. âSo the Chinks are taking over the world?'
âMaybe â in a couple of years' time.'
He smiled happily to himself, thinking about this.
Five minutes later they turned onto Tynemouth Front Street, the priory ruins rising ahead of them.
âI know where I am now.' He twisted his head as they passed Starz Salon. âYour mum's place. We could call in.'
Martha didn't say anything as they turned the corner past the priory and started to head down the hill. âWait. Stop here.'
Jamie pulled up outside St George's church.
âI want to get out. I want to walk on the beach.'
They got ice creams from the van parked opposite â run by a woman called Kath â which doubled up as a mobile library; the shelves at the back of the van were full of books Kath was happy to lend or exchange.
Kath was sitting outside the van on an old stool, smoking and reading âMrs Dalloway'. She waved â recognising Martha.
âAlright, pet?'
âHi Kath â this is my uncle Jamie.'
âAlright, Jamie?' Kath said automatically.
Most people were bothered by Jamie when they met him for the first time. They felt a subconscious mental, spiritual and physical aversion; the sort of aversion healthy, intact people instinctively feel towards the damaged and abused â who have been forced to acknowledge things about the world and the people in it that the majority would rather spend their lives never knowing.
Martha hadn't been bothered by Jamie.
Kath wasn't either.
She was a terse woman who valued her private thoughts.
Her eyes didn't linger on his tattoos; they were happy to confront his eyes.
Jamie waited for her to recoil in the way he'd got used to people doing on the outside and that made him feel â for the few seconds it lasted â as if all the breath had been drawn suddenly out of the world.
But Kath didn't recoil, and he rewarded her with a smile very few people saw; one that â for as long as it lasted â gave his eyes an extraordinary depth.
They headed down the steps cut into the cliff, Martha taking off her shoes and socks as soon as they got onto the beach where there was a wind blowing that at long last lifted the heat.
âYou should take your shoes off.'
Jamie hesitated before sitting down on a rock and pulling his trainers off awkwardly. His feet were white and he wasn't wearing any socks. Martha could see the impressions of holes across the top of his feet where the eyeholes from his laces had been digging in.
âIs that better?' she said as he joined her and they started to walk away from the crowds congregating round the beach café, Crusoes, towards the sea, which was a long way out.
They stood paddling, the water lapping sluggishly round their ankles â Jamie flinching sporadically and checking behind him â as if life was taking place just over his shoulder at a forty-five degree angle.
There were hardly any waves and the water only came to the waists of three children far out to sea, trying to clamber onto an inflatable green dinosaur.
Jamie was watching them intently as if their game would help him to understand something he'd been trying to understand for a long time.
Martha was watching them as well â remembering what it was like to play in the sea at that age, and not have to think about her body.
After a while, she said, âLast night â when I said you sounded like dad on the phone? I meant it.'
âYou were close?'
âWe
are
close.' She paused, lifting her foot out the water. âHe's still alive. I saw him yesterday. I was coming out of school and he was standing under a tree not far from where you were parked.' She paused again. âI didn't see him today.'
Martha caught hold suddenly of his arm with both her hands and rested her head against him. âHe had blond hair, and he looked so thin. He had a dog with him â a Husky.'
âDid you speak to him?'
Martha shook her head, staring out to sea still, which was empty now â the current had taken the children and their dinosaur elsewhere.
âHe wanted me to see him. He wants me to know he's still alive.'
Jamie remained silent, thinking about this.
He ran his hand over her hair a couple of times then they started to walk back up the beach, people wondering in the absent way people did â about the schoolgirl and ill-looking man with tattoos. Martha felt their eyes on them, but Jamie remained oblivious, lost in thought. She didn't need to ask him whether he believed her â she could tell he did.
âHave you told anybody else?' he asked her. âThe police?'
Martha was about to respond to this when she saw a woman in a white jumper running across the sand towards them.
âMartha!' Anna called out.
She'd been standing at the water's edge â only a couple of metres away â when she'd turned and seen them.
âIt's okay,' Martha said automatically, trying to reassure Anna, who was staring at Jamie because he looked a lot more like his brother, Bryan, than she remembered. âIt's okay,' Martha said again.
Anna felt a wave of something close to pity pass over her as she laid eyes on Jamie Deane â who she'd last seen when she was a terrified thirteen-year-old; only a couple of years younger than Martha was now. She wondered if Laura knew her daughter was down on Tynemouth Longsands with Jamie Deane, who she could feel watching her now â without any particular resonance. He didn't recognise her.
âAnna Faust,' she said, pausing awkwardly in the interlude following the introduction. She saw his face flicker with effort as he sought to remember her, and was about to say something when Martha said, âHe didn't do it, Anna. Tell her,' she commanded Jamie.
But Jamie remained silent, his eyes on Anna.
Martha, frustrated, carried on, âHe spent twenty years in prison for something he never did â because mum lied. The afternoon that man was killed, she was with him. She was with him the whole time.'
Looking from Martha to Jamie, Anna saw again Laura Deane sitting on the top of the stairs that day â sullen, scared â inside number fifteen Parkview.
âYou,' Jamie said, becoming suddenly conscious of who Anna was. âI remember you. Bryan's little friend.'
âI knew it,' Martha put in.
âWhy little?'
He shook his head. âI don't know. For some reason I always thought of you as little. I remember you,' he said again, pleased. âFunny,' he carried on slowly, more to himself.
Anna watched them climb up the steps past where the Grand Hotel used to stand before it was burnt down, back onto the cliff top road, unable to move from the spot. She was still standing there thirty minutes later when Inspector Laviolette arrived.
Laviolette drove along the coastal road towards Blyth. He wanted to talk to Anna, who he'd given up trying to call, and was just passing the Toy Museum when he saw her canary-coloured Capri parked not far from where Bryan Deane parked Easter Saturday, although she couldn't have known this.
He parked as close to the Capri as he could and left a note under the windscreen asking her to wait for him in the car if their paths didn't cross.
Then he stood for a while near the bench he'd seen Bryan Deane standing next to on the CCTV footage, and decided to conduct his own four minute vigil while scanning the beach and sea for Anna. It was low tide and there were no waves so she wouldn't be surfing, but there were people in the water, swimming â mostly children.
His eyes picked out solitary figures as he checked his watch.
Two minutes had passed â two minutes that felt like ten, but then time was relative. It struck him again how long four minutes could be.
Then he saw her â he was sure it was her; at the water's edge in a white jumper, her hair blowing. Unlike most of the solitary walkers on the beach, she had no dog with her.
She'd made an impression on him â enough of an impression for him to recognise her at a distance of over two hundred metres, and the sense of recognition was something he felt in his stomach. This made him afraid in a way he hadn't been for years â decades even.
He checked his watch again.
Ten minutes had passed â ten minutes that felt like two.
He went down onto the beach using the same steps Jamie and Martha had, crossing the sand marked with their footprints still, towards Anna standing in the shallows, her shoes in her hand.
He tried calling out her name, but the wind, which was much stronger this close to the sea, tore it out of his mouth and carried it away.
She must have seen his shadow on the sand, drawing alongside hers â the two shadows stretching out from their owners at a forty-five degree angle â because she turned to look in his direction then, surprised to find herself no longer alone.
She smiled suddenly at him as if it had taken her a while to remember who he was.
He smiled back, trying to work out whether she was genuinely pleased to see him or not. âYou were thinking about Bryan Deane,' he said suddenly.
âYes,' she agreed, âI was.'
âIs that why you came here?'
âYes,' she said again, staring down at her left foot as she drew it through the water.
The tide had turned; it was coming in now, and the waves were picking up and beginning to rush in the way they had a reputation for doing along this stretch of coast. It was a dangerous reputation to ignore, but summer after summer the coastguard were sent out to rescue tourists who'd taken a chance against the incoming tide at Holy Island and got stranded on the causeway.
âHow did you find me?' Anna said after a while.
âWhat makes you think I was looking for you?'
She laughed lightly and, without saying anything, they turned and started walking back down the beach at an angle, the tide was coming in so fast.
âI saw your car parked on the cliff top. I was coming to see you anyway,' he conceded, âbut this saved me the journey. Do you want to get a beer or something?'
She hesitated then, nodding, followed him to Crusoes, the Longsands beach café where they managed to get a table outside on the decking. When he went in to get the beers, she slung her feet over the rope railing, tilted her head back and let her eyes shut.
Laviolette re-appeared a couple of minutes later. âI've never been here before,' he said.
âAny reason why you should have?'
âI live in Tynemouth.'
âI didn't realise,' she said, watching him.
âIn fact, apart from the investigation, I can't remember the last time I took a walk on the beach.'
âWell, you took a walk just now.'
âI did,' he agreed, smiling at her â pleased.
They sat in silence, watching people arrive and leave the beach.
âYou're going to miss this,' Laviolette observed, âwhen you go back to London.' Then, when Anna didn't respond, âThe offer still stands. DS Chambers is moving back to Teeside to be near his wife's family.'
Anna nodded, smiling. âYou make it sound so simple.'
âIt is simple. You're only renting in London â you haven't got a place to sell.'
Anna pushed her chin down onto her chest, thinking about this.
âHave you never thought about coming back?'
âI've thought about it.'
They fell silent again.
âIs that what you wanted to see me about?'
Laviolette shook his head as a woman came out to clear the table next to them.
âWe're closing â ten minutes time,' she said.
Neither Laviolette nor Anna responded.
âMartha's seen Bryan.'
Without commenting on this, Anna turned to watch a father attempt to organise his family into a game of beach cricket, the long legged teenage daughter refusing to listen, no longer interested in being a part of this tribe she'd grown up in because that wasn't where life was at any more. The breakaway years . . . too old to run away from home, too young to officially leave.
Anna found herself staring at the pouting, sullen girl before turning her attention back to Laviolette.
âShe already told you,' he said, watching her.
Anna nodded. âYesterday. When did she tell you?'
âShe didn't.'
âSo who did?'
âLaura Deane â this morning. When were you going to tell me?' Laviolette asked softly, without pausing.
âI don't know. I don't know whether I believe her.'