The Mistress: The Mistress\Wanted: Mistress and Mother (10 page)

“Of course not,” Marley replied as she settled into one of the
chairs surrounding the small table overlooking the gardens.

When Patrice ducked back inside to prepare the tea, Marley was
left alone. She leaned back and stared out over the grounds. Even with the
constant company that Patrice and Dr. Karounis afforded, loneliness surrounded
her like a cloak. That and frustration.

Every time Chrysander relaxed around her and they shared any
sort of intimacy, he immediately backed away, as if he became aware of what was
happening and rushed to correct it.

She was convinced that Patrice and Dr. Karounis were here more
as a barrier between her and Chrysander than they were here over any worry he
had of her health. Not that he didn’t care. She wasn’t petty enough to think he
wasn’t genuinely concerned for her and their child. But at the same time, she
couldn’t discount the convenience of him pawning her off on Patrice whenever
things got too personal.

It seemed that when she actually started to relax, he only grew
more uptight. Nothing about her supposed relationship with this man made any
sense to her. If only she could remember. If only she knew someone she could
ask. Had she truly been so closed off from the rest of the world during her
relationship with Chrysander?

“Surely things aren’t that bad,” Patrice said as she set a tray
down on the table in front of Marley. “You look as though you have the weight of
the world on your shoulders.”

Marley managed a faltering smile. “Oh, nothing so serious. Just
thinking.”

Dr. Karounis walked up behind Patrice and nodded a greeting to
Marley. Patrice smiled broadly and urged the doctor to sit down while she poured
tea.

Despite her own inner turmoil, Marley couldn’t help but smile
at the older couple. They were obviously enjoying a mild flirtation. It was good
to see someone happy and content. She’d give anything to enjoy a moment’s
peace.

With another sigh, she collected her cup and brought it to her
lips as she looked out again over the beautiful garden. Maybe she was expecting
too much in too short a time. Maybe she was pushing too hard, which precipitated
Chrysander pushing her away. So much would be solved if she could only
remember.

At any rate, she couldn’t expect an overnight miracle. There
had to be a way to break through Chrysander’s defenses. She just had to find
it.

Chapter 9

T
heir days slowly began to settle into a
routine much as their nights did. Once he was assured of her health, Chrysander
made love to Marley every night, possessing her with passion that left her
breathless. But in the mornings, he was always gone before she woke up.

She’d made it a habit to seek him out, bothered by the fact
that he left their bed so early. More often than not, she’d find him in the
library, either on the phone, on his computer or poring over contracts and
faxes. He’d look up when she entered, and for a brief moment, she’d see fire
flare in his eyes before his expression became more controlled, and after
murmuring a polite good-morning, he’d return to his work. And she was summarily
dismissed.

So she spent most mornings alone or in the company of Patrice
and Dr. Karounis who seemed quite content to spend their time together. At
lunch, Chrysander would make his appearance as if he hadn’t just spent hours
sequestered in work. To his credit, he devoted the afternoons to Marley.

She’d cajoled him into taking walks with her on the beach,
though he grumbled about the chill and her tiring herself. She looked forward to
these times because she had Chrysander all to herself, and at least in those few
short hours, he seemed to lose his cautious reserve with her.

It was during one of those walks that Chrysander pulled her
down to sit on the log she often sat on to watch the ocean. He stared out over
the water for a moment then turned to her, his expression serious.

“We should get married soon.”

She twisted the engagement ring around her finger with her
thumb and wondered why this wasn’t a happier conversation.

“I wanted to give you time to recover and regain your strength.
The doctor feels you are strong and healthy now.”

She relaxed a little under his intent gaze. “When were you
thinking of?”

“As soon as I can arrange it. I don’t want to wait any longer.
I don’t want our child born a bastard.”

She frowned and twisted her neck to gaze up at him. It was
hardly a romantic declaration of love and devotion. But then she didn’t want her
child to be born out of wedlock, either. She suddenly felt selfish for wanting a
more flowery reason for the hastiness of their marriage.

“Will you marry me,
pedhaki mou?
I’ll take care of you and our child. You’ll want for nothing, I swear it.”

She worked to keep another frown from her face. The more he
talked, the less desirous she was for marriage. He made it sound like a bargain.
She didn’t want their marriage to be cold and clinical.

He tipped her chin up with his finger and stared down into her
eyes. “What are you thinking about so hard?”

She didn’t want to tell him the truth. So instead, she slowly
nodded.

One of his eyebrows lifted in question. “Is that a yes?”

“Yes,” she whispered. “I’ll marry you as soon as you can
arrange it.”

Satisfaction glinted in his eyes. He leaned down to brush his
lips across hers. “You won’t regret this,
pedhaki
mou.
”

Such an odd choice of words. Why would she have reason to
believe she’d regret marrying the man she loved, the father of her child? She
wondered if he’d always been so cryptic and that she’d learned to love him in
spite of it. Obviously she had.

As they walked back to the house, she slid her hand into his.
There was a need for comfort in her action. After only a slight hesitation, he
curled his fingers around hers and squeezed. Bolstered by the small gesture, she
shrugged away the doubts tugging at her.

* * *

That night, Marley was dressing for bed when Chrysander
came up behind her and curled his arms around her waist. His hands rested over
the swell of her stomach as he nuzzled a line from the top of her shoulder to
the sensitive region just below her ear. Goose bumps danced and scattered along
her skin, and she trembled against his chest.

“I much prefer you naked,
pedhaki
mou,
” he said as he slid one hand up to pluck at the string of the
gown she’d just slipped on.

His words speared through her mind, sparking a distant
remembrance. For a moment, she had an image of him standing before her, staring
at her with glowing eyes, saying those exact words. She struggled to remember
more, but it slipped away as fast as it had slipped in.

She closed her eyes in frustration even as she gave way to the
pleasure of his touch.

He slid the strap over her shoulder, following it with his lips
until it tumbled down her arm. Then he turned his attention to the other side,
giving it the same thorough attention. He thumbed the thin string down her arm
until the satin material spilled from her body and landed in a pool on the
floor.

Uncertainty and vulnerability washed over her as she stood
naked save for the lacy panties she wore. She jumped when he placed his hands
over her belly again and then did a slow walk up and over her curves. His palms
smoothed up her sides and then curved around to her breasts, where he cupped
both soft mounds. His lips found her neck again, and she shivered uncontrollably
as his thumbs caressed her taut nipples while he landed light nips with his
teeth.

“I want you,” he said in a guttural voice. “You’re so
beautiful,
agape mou.
Come to bed with me.”

It was so easy to forget her doubts and insecurities in the
shelter of his arms. When they made love, they truly connected. There were no
barriers, no stiffness and no reluctance. She lived for these moments, when he
made her his, when he showed her far better than words what she meant to
him.

She turned, allowing his hands to slide over her skin. When she
was facing him, she leaned up on tip toe and linked her arms around his neck.
“Kiss me,” she whispered.

With a low growl, he swooped in and captured her lips with
barely controlled restraint. His movements were impatient tonight, as though he
couldn’t get enough of her, as if he couldn’t wait to possess her.

She allowed him to urge her toward the bed, his body pressed
tightly to hers. He eased her onto the mattress, his lips never leaving hers. He
lifted himself off her, his eyes blazing in the dim light. With jerky motions,
he stripped out of his clothing before lowering himself once more.

“Make love to me, Chrysander,” she said as she reached up to
touch his face.

He bent, and his lips moved heatedly down her jaw to her neck
and then lower to her breasts. He tugged one taut nipple with his mouth before
going to the other. Lightly, his tongue rolled over the crest, sending shock
waves to her throbbing center.

His dark head bobbed as he continued a path downward to the
rise of her belly. Scooting his body down, he framed the mound between his hands
with a reverence that brought tears to her eyes. Then he pressed his mouth to
her stomach in a gentle kiss.

Emotion knotted in her throat until it became hard to breathe
around it. If only they could stay this way. Here, where there were no words, no
defenses, she felt loved and cherished. No walls, no barriers, no secrets.

His mouth moved lower, and she gasped when he nudged her thighs
apart and touched his mouth to her pulsing core.

“Chrysander!” she cried out as he licked over her sensitive
bundle of nerves.

“You taste so sweet,
agape mou,
” he
said as he moved up her body again.

He fit himself against her damp heat and then slowly slid
inside her body. She closed her eyes and reached for him with a sigh of
pleasure. Her hand threaded through the short hair at the back of his head and
down to his nape where she caressed as he moved back and forth with exquisite
gentleness.

Then his lips found hers again, and he swallowed her abrupt cry
as he sank deeper than before.

“Give me your pleasure,” he said against her mouth. “Only to
me.”

She arched against him, her body tightening as the first
stirrings of her release began deep and rushed in a thousand different
directions. Her soft cry split the night, and he gathered her tightly to him.
His hand smoothed down her side to her hip and then to the curve of her
belly.

“I can never get enough of you,” he admitted in a voice that
sounded strangely vulnerable.

She opened her eyes to see him staring down at her, his
expression fierce and haunted. And then he began to move harder, more demanding.
Wordlessly he took her to indescribable heights. She floated freely, her body
cocooned in bliss.

So began the night. She’d barely come down from the peaks he’d
driven her to when he began making love to her all over again. He possessed her
tirelessly, commanding her body with a practiced ease that left her gasping.
Throughout the night he was insatiable, and just before dawn, they both fell
into an exhausted sleep.

Even as Marley hovered in the euphoric aftermath, her sleep was
troubled. There was a familiarity to Chrysander’s demanding lovemaking, as if
for the first time he’d shown her part of her past life with him.

In her dreams, she struggled to open a firmly shut door,
knowing that on the other side lay her life, her memories, everything that had
happened to her in her lifetime. She pulled at it then beat on it, sobbing for
it to open and show her.

She clawed at it, and finally, she managed to pry it open the
barest amount. Light poured from the crack, and then, as suddenly as it had
shone, brilliant and white, it was doused by an overwhelming feeling of fear and
despair. She knew without a doubt that she didn’t want to see what was on the
other side.

In her shock, she loosened her grip and the door slammed shut,
leaving her kneeling and shaking against the cold wood. No! She needed to know.
She had to know. Who was she and what had happened to her?

“Marley. Marley!” Chrysander’s urgent tones intruded on her
dream. “You must wake up,
pedhaki mou.
It’s just a
dream. You’re safe. You’re here with me.”

She opened her eyes to see Chrysander over her, his eyes bright
with concern. He’d turned the lamp on beside the bed, and for that she was
grateful. She felt suffocated by the darkness of her dream.

She felt wetness on her cheeks and realized she’d been crying
in her sleep. Her heart still raced with panic, and she couldn’t dispel the
awful feeling of foreboding that had gripped her.

She tried to speak, to tell Chrysander she was all right, but a
cry wrenched from her throat. He gathered her tightly in his arms and held her
close as her body shook with sobs.

“You’re going to make yourself ill, Marley. You must stop.”

For a long time she gripped his arms, not wanting him to pull
away from her. When she finally managed to regain control of herself, he gently
eased her back onto the pillows.

“What has frightened you so badly,
agape
mou?
”

The images from her dream came roaring back, but she was
hard-pressed to make sense of them. Thankfully, the awful panic had receded so
that she could breathe normally again.

“I was at a door,” she said, her speech faltering. “And I knew
that on the other side of the door were my memories. But I couldn’t open it no
matter how hard I tried. Finally, I managed to crack it but then...”

“Then what?” he asked gently.

“Fear,” she whispered. “So much fear. I was afraid. I let go of
the door, and it slammed shut.”

He lay back down beside her and curled his arms around her. “It
was just a dream,
pedhaki mou.
Just a dream. It
can’t hurt you. You fear the unknown. This is natural.”

She slowly began to relax against him. He stroked her back, his
palm gliding up and down her spine.

“Are you all right now? Do you want me to call for Dr.
Karounis?”

She shook her head against his chest. “No. I’m fine. Really. I
feel so silly now.”

“You’re not silly. Try and go back to sleep. I fear I kept you
awake far too long tonight.”

His voice had deepened to a husky timbre, and her body
tightened all over as she remembered the ways he’d kept her up.

With a yawn, she burrowed as tightly as she could against his
hard body and let herself fall into what was this time a dreamless sleep.

* * *

Chrysander rose at dawn the next morning. He hadn’t
slept since Marley had awakened with her nightmare. After he’d soothed her, and
she had fallen into a more peaceful rest, he’d lain awake, staring at the
ceiling as he realized the impossibility of their situation.

Careful not to wake Marley, he showered and dressed. After
checking to make sure she hadn’t been disturbed, he went quietly down the
stairs. He bypassed his office, though it was his custom to begin the day with
business matters.

This morning something drove him to the beach where Marley so
often visited. The air was chilly blowing off the water, but he took no notice
as he stood watching the waves break and slide into shore.

Marley’s past,
their
past,
threatened her in sleep. Her memories waged war at her most unguarded moments,
and what would he do when it all came back?

The terrible conflict that ate at him was wearing him down. He
should be angry, and at times he was. But it was also easy to forget. Here on
the island, safeguarded from the rest of the world, it was easy to pretend that
it was just him and Marley and their unborn child. No past betrayals, no lies,
no deceit.

He shoved his hands into his pockets and bowed his head in
resignation. Never before in his business or personal life had he felt so out of
control, so indecisive. Could he forgive her for trying to destroy him and his
brothers? That was the million-dollar question, because if he couldn’t, they had
no future. When she remembered, things would irrevocably change, and he could
either hold on to the acid taste of betrayal, or he could forge ahead and offer
his forgiveness.