The Moon and the Stars (23 page)

She rose quickly to her feet.

She had made a terrible mistake.

It wasn't too late to rectify it, because no one else knew she had agreed to marry him.

She would just go to him and confess that she had changed her mind. As she gripped the doorknob, her gaze fell on the book lying on the side table, and she remembered promising Jonathan that she would read to him before lunch. Her meeting with Wade would have to wait. At the moment it was more important that she keep her word to Jonathan. Pushing all troubled thoughts to the back of her mind, she made her way out onto the gallery and down the stairs. With determined steps she walked toward the secluded garden where she had always met the boy.

When she arrived, he was already there, his eyes shining, a huge smile on his face. “I was waiting for you. I can't wait to see what happens in the next chapter.”

She couldn't help smiling at the boy's exuberance. “Neither can I.” She sat down on the bench with her finger marking the page where they had stopped the day before. “Did I tell you there are two more books about the adventures of Hawkeye? I would imagine
that Wade has them all in his library, or if he doesn't, he will probably get them for you.”

Jonathan surprised her by throwing himself into her arms, hugging her tightly. “I want you to stay with me and Wade forever. We could be almost like a family if you were with us!”

She hugged him back, thinking she could not love this child more if he was her very own. Jonathan was starving to be loved, and she had so much love to give him. She suddenly had a thought: Why shouldn't Wade adopt Jonathan? The boy needed the security of knowing he belonged to a family.

As his small hand clasped hers, tears formed just behind her eyes. “Do you remember the part where I left off in the story?” she asked, refusing to let him see her cry.

“Uh-huh. I could hardly sleep for wondering if Hawkeye and Chingachgook and Uncos were going to win in the battle.”

She opened the book and began to read. Somewhere in the middle of the battle that Hawkeye fought with the Mohawks, Jonathan laid his head on her lap. She smiled down at him and placed one hand on his head.

She did love this little boy so. He was well cared for, and he wanted for nothing as far as money was concerned. The servants spoiled him, especially Mary. It was a very fine thing Wade had done in giving the boy a home, but he needed more. He needed to know he was loved and wanted.

Caroline didn't know how long Wade had been watching them before she became aware of him.
When she glanced at him, catching him unaware, she saw a softness in his eyes that was soon replaced by a look of bored indifference.

“Perhaps if I lay my head in your lap, you will read to me,” he said, stepping forward and sitting on the end of the bench.

She glanced down at Jonathan and winked. “Shall we tell him that he's usually busy when we read?”

The boy sat up, looking as if he was considering the possibility. “You are busy most of the time, Wade. We have to read every day or we won't know what happens in the story.”

Wade leaned against the back of the bench, his gaze on Caroline. “I am going upriver on one of the barges tomorrow, I thought you might enjoy the trip. We will attempt to make you as comfortable as possible.”

Any thought she'd had earlier of telling him she could not marry him had now fled her mind. All she could think about at the moment was spending the rest of her life with him. “I would love to go with you!” She closed the book. “What do you think, Jonathan. Would you like to go up the river?”

“No.” He shook his head while jealousy dulled his eyes. “I get seasick. Wade knows that.”

“I know about seasickness, and it's not much fun.” She smoothed the child's hair in place, much as a mother might have done. “I was once seasick for three whole days.”

Jonathan's eyes lost some of their anger. “You were?”

“I was.”

“Will you read to me when you get back?”

“Of course.”

“You will have to be up early,” Wade told her. “We leave the docks before sunup.”

“I will be ready,” she assured him. She looked into his eyes. “Will we see you at dinner tonight?”

“I am sorry but I have matters to attend to, and I will not be home for dinner.”

“Oh,” she said, trying not to show her disappointment; they hardly ever dined together. It was a situation she was determined to amend after they were married. “I understand.”

“Well, then,” Wade said, rising in a fluid motion. “I will see you at six in the morning, Caroline.”

She and Jonathan watched him disappear, each lost in thought. “Shall we finish this chapter?” she asked at last.

“Yes, please,” he said, but with little enthusiasm.

“What's wrong, Jonathan?”

“He would like me better if I didn't get seasick, and if I didn't let the boys push me around at the academy. He thinks I'm a weakling.”

She laid the book aside and put her arm around him, drawing his head onto her shoulder. “I don't think that is true, Jonathan. He gave you a home and keeps you with him. He has to care for you a great deal. Besides, you are only a boy—your courage will grow with the inches you gain.”

He glanced up at her with hope in his eyes. “Do you really think so?”

She opened the book. “You will remember that Hawkeye did not have a mother or father when Chingachgook took him for his son. And you know what a brave warrior Hawkeye became.”

The boy looked disconcerted. “Could it be like that for me?”

“I'm certain that if you are ever called upon to prove your bravery, you will perform your duty admirably.”

“Do you really think so?”

“I do. Now let us finish this chapter,” she said, wanting to see the hurt disappear from his eyes.

Caroline stood on the deck, holding on to her straw bonnet to prevent the wind from carrying it away. Wade had explained to her that they were actually traveling on a flatboat instead of a barge because he thought it would be more comfortable for her. The flatboat was like a floating deck with large oars that were being plied by twelve men. There was a sudden whoosh as the sails unfurled to catch the wind and relieve the men at the oars.

She had been half afraid that the Mississippi River would be rough and she might get seasick: But it was calm, with gentle waves splashing against the boat. She stared at the muddy water as it lazily drifted seaward. She felt a sudden burst of happiness. For so long she had lived with uncertainty and fear. Now she was not afraid, and didn't have to look over her shoulder to see if someone was chasing her. And she owed her feeling of well-being to Wade.

He was conferring with the captain of the flatboat, and both their heads were bent over a ledger. When Wade suddenly glanced up at her and smiled, she felt warmth spread through her.

A moment later he came to her. “I thought you might like a diversion while the dockworkers go up
the river to load their cargo. I have arranged a surprise for you. How would you like to have a picnic in the swamp?”

She watched the breeze lift his black hair off his forehead, and the sun seemed to be captured in the gold of his eyes. “Is that possible?”

“
Oui.
I can assure you it is.” He stared at her lips, remembering how soft they had been beneath his. “If you will recall, I was cheated out of a picnic that day in San Sebastian.”

“That is not true.” She shook her finger at him, but her smile took the sting out of her words. “As I recall the incident, it was
you
who ruined the picnic for me.”

He reached for the ribbons that had worked loose beneath her bonnet and retied them. “Did I? I remember wanting to draw my gun and shoot a certain Captain Dunning.”

She thought he might be joking until she saw that unmistakable hardness in his eyes. “Whatever for?”

He ran his knuckle along her jawline. “I'll tell you some day. But for now,” he said, smiling, “I am going to launch a small skiff as soon as the captain pulls up to that dock.”

A short time later, he was helping her into a flat-bottom skiff. When she was seated, Caroline raised her parasol over her head to protect her fair skin from the sun. Wade set the picnic basket at her feet and took the oars.

The boat drifted away with orders to the captain to pick them up at the dock in three hours' time. Wade applied his oars to the water, and the skiff shot forward. He guided them down a small tributary with
surprising speed. A seabird cried out overhead as the river disappeared behind them, and a white-tail deer dashed into a thicket and disappeared from sight.

“It is so beautiful here!” Caroline exclaimed as she watched a catfish leap out of the water and gulp down an unsuspecting dragonfly.

“It is as beautiful as it is hazardous. There are bogs in there that can swallow a whole boat and leave no trace. Then there is quicksand, poisonous snakes, and let us not forget the alligators.” He stopped rowing for a moment and allowed the boat to drift as he studied her face. “But those who see the swamp for what it is are the ones who are greatly rewarded.”

A fluffy cloud had passed beneath the sun, and Caroline closed her sunshade and laid it in the bottom of the boat. She removed her bonnet and let the cool breeze play across her face. “Well, I love it!”

“I thought . . . I hoped you would.”

“This was a wonderful idea you had.”

“Maybe I just wanted to get you alone.”

“It seemed to me that on our journey to San Antonio, and the one here to New Orleans, we were alone quite a bit.” She glanced at a misshapen cypress tree with green moss clinging to the trunk. “And we are not alone.” She arched her brow at him. “Let us not forget the alligators.”

He found her delightful. She was exactly the kind of woman he wanted. She was certainly the one woman he desired so much it hurt.

Caroline noticed he wore his gun belt, and she was momentarily reminded of his other profession—that side of him troubled her. But her gaze moved upward to his arms. He had rolled up his sleeves, and she
watched his muscles ripple when he applied the oars to the water.

“I spent much of my time as a boy in these swamps. Anton once had all his workers out looking for me for two days. When they found me, I could not convince them that I had not been lost.” He raised his eyebrows. “You can imagine how Anton curtailed my wandering for a long time after that. A whole year passed before I was allowed to come here again.”

She trailed her hand in the water, making it swirl behind them. “Tell me more about the swamp.”

“To me, it is a place of undisturbed beauty—man has not yet left his destructive scars upon this land. If you look closely, you will see that there is a constant struggle for survival between the hunter and the prey—it is the way of life everywhere, but nowhere more noticeable than here.”

Her gaze dropped to his gun belt. “Like a bounty hunter and his quarry?” She hadn't meant to say that; the words had just slipped out. She saw his frown and was immediately sorry. But there would always be that part of their lives that stood between them like a wall.

As if he had read her mind, he drew in the oars and reached down to unbuckle the gun belt, allowing it to fall at his feet. “If you ask it of me, I will never pick this gun up again.”

“I do ask it of you.”

“Then that is the way it will be.”

Her breath caught, and she wanted to touch his face, to spread her fingers through his dark hair. She wanted to feel his arms around her and have him hold her close. But she was still shy with him and dropped her gaze to the water.

“Now,” he said, taking up the oars as if nothing important had just passed between them. “Around the next bend is my favorite place.”

“You come here often?”

“Not in a long time.” He paused for a moment. “I have never brought anyone here before. You are the first.”

Her heart was drumming in her ears. He made her feel so many emotions, she could hardly separate them. She would have been satisfied to lie in his arms and just listen to the sound of his wonderful voice. She tried to concentrate on the scenery, but it was difficult with him staring at her so intently.

The boat caught a hidden current, and they rounded the bend in a rush. She gasped as she saw huge oaks with branches draped in veils of Spanish moss. Cypress trees stood like sentinels guarding this secret place against the unworthy. A heron circled above the secluded bayou that was home to a throng of creatures. She saw turtles sunning themselves on a fallen log, and several frogs raised their heads, looking for any unsuspecting insect that might come their way.

“This is wonderful!” she cried, joy spreading through her heart like slow molasses. “It is like nothing I could ever have imagined.”

His voice was gruff. “I am pleased, Caroline.”

No one had ever spoken her name the way he did: With his French accent it came out like a song. She watched him guide the boat toward a small, grassy island, then stand to offer her his hand. When they were ashore, he dragged the boat onto the grass so it wouldn't drift away. Then he reached inside and pulled out the picnic basket.

Caroline listened to the melodic sounds of swamp creatures. There were strange bird calls and other noises that she could not identify. Wade unfolded a quilt, and she helped him spread it underneath an oak tree.

She unloaded the picnic basket and looked amazed. “It seems Mary took you at your word to put weight on me. We have ham, chicken, corn, cheese, and some of her wonderful biscuits, and her homemade jam. And there are pastries—apple, I hope.”

He took the ham sandwich she offered him and leaned back to watch her. “This is my grand scheme to fatten you up. If I must, we will have a picnic a day to put weight on you.”

She nibbled on a slice of cheese. “You want me fat?”

“I want you healthy.”