The Mystery of the Venus Island Fetish (21 page)

‘Medea,' Dithers mumbled. ‘Not even kind enough to kill her children cleanly. And
we were part of it. My God, what have we done?'

‘What's that?' asked Archie.

‘Nothing. Nothing. But damn all Kaisers. And all Churchills,' snapped Dithers angrily.

‘Another beer?' asked Archie, looking at Schmetterling's empty glass. ‘
Ja, dankeschön
.
I was hoping so much that Herr Professor Doktor Vere Griffon would give me a job,'
Schmetterling continued. ‘Professor Mertens remembers him fondly, as a good man and
steadfast friend with a warm and generous heart. You know, my professor pulled every
string to get me out of Germany. He has even given a little of his own money towards
the cost of the collecting expedition.'

Schmetterling took a swig of beer. ‘I fear I have disappointed Herr Director,' he
concluded sadly.

‘Hans,' Beatrice said, ‘if it would help, I could ask my uncle if you could stay
with him for a few weeks. My sisters Betty and Myrtle are boarding at his house,
and are learning German at school. If you tutored them I'm sure Father would agree
to pay your board.'

‘Of course, old chap,' added Dithers, ‘you'd have to leave your, er, specimens, at
the museum. But you could set up in the mammal department, as a visitor, if you liked.
Perhaps you could lend a hand with a tidy-up. Give you more space. And until Beatrice
gets things sorted you could stay at the Maori's Head.'

‘Mine good friends. It's been long years since anyone but Herr Doktor Mertens has
shown me such kindness.' Schmetterling sighed. ‘I hardly expected to find friendship
in the Britisher colonies.'

‘Who would like another lager?' asked Dithers, full of bonhomie. But as he regarded
the increasingly merry Schmetterling, he was not sure that another drink was altogether
a good idea.

Beatrice made her excuses and rushed for the five o'clock
ferry, and Archie accompanied
her. When Dithers had finished his schooner he took Schmetterling back to the museum
to feed his centipedes, then headed off to a meeting of the Society for the Preservation
of Native Animals.

The following morning Dithers suggested to Archie that they walk into work together.
‘Not that I'm nervous, Archie. But it's a beautiful morning for a companionable stroll.'
Archie was glad to see that Dithers was taking his warning seriously, even though
he knew Dithers would never admit it.

They walked to Dithers' office. The mammalogist had just seated himself at his desk,
when he let out a bloodcurdling scream. Archie rushed back in to find Dithers staring
fixedly ahead. As Archie neared he saw a scarlet head, attached to four inches of
fluorescent green body, poking out from under a kangaroo skull that sat on a shelf
at eye level. The vile black fangs that protruded from it palpated just inches from
Dithers' nose.

‘Abotomy's behind this!' cried Archie. ‘I'm sure of it.'

‘For God's sake, just help me!' wailed Dithers.

Archie searched frantically for something to knock the creature away with. He had
grabbed a kangaroo leg-bone and was swinging it about wildly, when a pallid face
appeared from behind the hippo skull.

‘
God in Himmel. Meine Schönheit
!' squeaked Schmetterling. Clearly the worse for wear
from his drinking the previous
evening, he drew a pair of long tweezers from his
pocket, grasped the beast by the head, and returned it to its jar. ‘I was feeding
my sweetie, and must have dozed. I am so sorry,' he said, looking at Dithers aghast.

When he had recovered, Dithers turned to Archie. ‘I do think you are taking this
conspiracy theory of yours rather too seriously. There is always a simpler, more
straightforward explanation for such things, as you can see. I do think it best,
Hans, if you and your menagerie stay at the Maori's Head until Beatrice sorts things
out.'

Later that day an intense annoyance at himself settled over Courtenay Dithers. He,
a man who had seen the worst of trench warfare, had survived a bayonet charge and
stormed a Hun machine-gun nest, was scared. Scared to feel. Scared to act. Never
again, he promised himself, would he run as he had from Abotomy Hall.

Chapter 17

There are times in museums when it rains visitors. The month that Hans Schmetterling
arrived was the busiest anyone could remember. The largest groups by far were drawn
by Phar Lap's heart, which had only just gone on exhibition. The prodigious organ
was displayed in the anatomy room—in a great glass jar on a table under a spotlight—alongside
the heart of some nag. The champion's organ was at least twice the size of the nag's
heart, and the queues of those anxious to see it stretched halfway round the block.
‘Like a viewing at a royal funeral,' Jeevons quipped to Archie as he took in the
sombre faces of those grieving the death of the champion racehorse.

A few days later Archie arrived to find half the Japanese navy in the staff entrance.
He'd read in the newspapers about the
arrival of Vice Admiral Nobijuro Iamaura and
the Japanese Training Squadron, but had not expected them to visit the museum. Yet
there they were, the neatest human beings he'd ever seen, in their white uniforms
with not a hair out of place. They stood stiffly—almost at attention—in the foyer
until Miss Stritchley came through the door carrying a splendid bunch of yellow roses.
The flurry of waist-deep bows and presents emanating from the oriental gentlemen
took her by surprise. She reciprocated by handing the roses, originally destined
for Griffon's office, to an officer, and then led the group away.

For the next several days the Japanese sailors seemed to be everywhere, and almost
always in the company of Dr Abraham Trembley, the museum's jellyfish expert. Pale
to the point of vanishing, Trembley was of uncertain age—indeed, almost of uncertain
physical form. Hitherto, sightings of him outside his darkened office were rarer
than sightings of the Yeti.

Archie was astonished by the rumour that the naval visit was a sort of embassy from
the Japanese emperor to Trembley himself. Apparently the emperor was making something
of a name in the realms of marine biology and, through their common passion, he and
Trembley had developed a more than passing acquaintance. From what the admiral intimated,
the emperor regarded Trembley almost as a god in his field.

The Japanese sailors invited the entire scientific staff to a formal dinner aboard
their flagship, the
Yamamoto
.

In his room that evening, Dithers produced the elegant invitation. ‘I suppose you'll
be walking Beatrice to the ship? The loo is not safe for an unaccompanied woman these
days,' he said to Archie.

‘Oh, Dithers!' Archie's throat tightened so he could barely speak. ‘I'm not sure
she'll want me to.'

‘What do you mean, Archie? It's plain for everyone to see that the girl dotes on
you. I don't know why you're being so stand-offish with her.'

‘Mordant will be at her side, I'm sure.'

‘Archibald Meek, has the green-eyed monster got total possession of you? I've never
heard anything so ridiculous in my life. Beatrice flees from his very shadow. You
should be ashamed of yourself for doubting the girl.'

Archie would not admit it, but he did feel ashamed. It was as if he'd caught himself
in the mirror, a man acting like a child.

‘Jealousy, Archie, may be an emotion you've had little experience of till now. As
something of a professional in the field, let me tell you about it: its symptoms
are precisely those of rabies. The stricken beast develops a raging thirst, so it
goes to a waterhole. But when it sees the water, it becomes terrified of the very
thing it desires. Frothing at the mouth, it bites at anything that approaches. Rabid
dogs have been known to chew off their own legs.'

‘Well…' said Archie, struggling with his feelings. ‘For safety's sake, I'll escort
her to the dinner. As long as that toerag isn't hanging about.'

Dithers could see no advantage in pushing matters further. He turned to the wall
and fell asleep.

Archie found Beatrice sitting at her register as usual. Surely no girl was ever more
beautiful. Her hair fell in golden tresses, her blue eyes shone, and her lips formed
a perfect, ruby-red bow. Had Mordant really tasted their glory?

‘Rabies, waterhole, chewed leg,' muttered Archie. ‘Beatrice, I hope you got your
invitation to the Japanese naval dinner?'

‘Oh, Archie, I'm so looking forward to it! I bought a new outfit for the occasion.'

‘Woolloomooloo is a bit rough at night. Someone should accompany you to the vessel
and back.'

‘Nobody has offered.'

‘In that case I'll do it. Walk with you, that is. For your protection.'

‘Thank you, Archie. That is very gallant.'

The
Yamamoto
was moored at the navy dock, beside Cowper Wharf. The night was warm,
and the vessel was gloriously lit. The ship's band was playing jazz as Archie and
Beatrice approached. She slipped her hand into his. As they walked up the gangway
a great moon peeped through the clouds.

They were greeted by a splendidly dressed lieutenant. Beatrice felt sure he was the
tallest and most handsome oriental she'd ever seen. As he reached to take her wrap
she couldn't stop blushing. The officers lined up to greet them. Bottles of French
champagne were poured into long-stemmed glasses. Archie and Beatrice wandered the
deck, looking at the cannon,
the immaculately coiled ropes and the sailors who doubled
as waiters.

Holding her glass delicately, Beatrice flashed her eyes at Archie. ‘Isn't this the
most immense fun?'

He said nothing. It was as if a hard stone blocked his heart. The thought of Mordant
would not leave his mind.

The jazz ceased and the band struck up ‘Hail to the Chief'. After a few bars, Vere
Griffon, in the company of Dryandra Stritchley, appeared at the top of the gangway.
Archie was immediately on guard. The admiral gave a low bow, then handed the director
an elaborately wrapped box.