The Navy's Ghost (Bad Boys of Beta Squad) (23 page)

“I’m sorry.”
Lindsey offered a sympathetic grimace.

Chris blinked. “Don’t be. I was doing what I wanted to do, and most men couldn’t keep up
with me.”

“Except Todd.”

And Jim.
But she didn’t allow herself to dwell on Retro.
No use running around in circles.
She had to let him go. He’d made it very clear he wanted nothing to do with her, especially in the last three months.

Chris
dipped her chin. “I miss them.”

Lindsey raised an eyebrow. “Them?”

“The whole squad.” Chris hoped Lindsey bought her response. She hadn’t meant to admit more than she should.

“You were tight with all of them, right?”

“Yeah, especially Todd and Jim. We came up through BUD/S together.”

“The same class?”

“Yeah, I think the top brass decided it would take two men to keep me out of trouble.” Lindsey laughed and Chris grinned, but sorrow etched her insides.
I definitely need my two SEALs.
Too bad Jim didn’t agree.
Let it go, Brickman.
“Maybe they were right. Except, I think this time it’s going to take the whole squad to get us out of trouble.”

“Yeah, I think
you’re right.” Lindsey leaned her head back against the wall and closed her eyes. “I hope they come soon.”

“Me, too.”

****

Todd stepped through his front door and left it hanging open despite the rain hammering the ground outside. The house no longer
resembled a sanctuary. It’d been violated by bastards determined to hurt everyone for no other reason than hatred. His beautiful home, beautiful because of Chris’s warmth, stood dark, cold, and forbidding.

He didn’t want to be alone, even though he needed down time before they hit the search again at oh-dark-thirty. Todd shifted his gaze around the room and recalled the night he’d proposed. The room had held scents of her perfume and sounds of laughter.
Now it just stood bleak and empty.

Fuck.

He had to talk to Jim, both about CPO Wolffe and Chris. He had to get the stubborn fool to see Chris needed him as much as she needed Todd.
He should fucking know this!
Jim knew Chris almost as well as Todd did and Todd was pretty sure Jim loved her as much.
Even if he’s too afraid to go after what he wants.
Todd frowned and retreated to the porch, locking the door behind him. Jim didn’t back down from anything. Why the hell would he shy from this?

Todd puzzled through it as he drove back to the base and parked his truck in front of Retro’s apartment.
At some point he’d have to talk to Jim about why he’d avoided him and Chris. Something had to be done. Chris blamed herself and Todd wouldn’t tolerate it.

Todd marched up to the front door and knocked, trying to formulate something worth saying beyond
, “What the fuck, asshole?” When no one came to the door, he wondered if Jim was home.
Where else would he be? Back at HQ?
But the commander had told them to take a break before they beat the shit out of each other and got themselves thrown off the mission. No way in hell would he sacrifice his spot on the squad.

Todd pounded on the door again.
Maybe Jim had gone to the PX or for a drive to clear his head. Todd had almost given up when the door opened and Retro stared at him with his great stone face, his eyes bloodshot and unfocused.

“What the hell do you want?”

“Nice to see you, too, Retro. You gonna let me in?”

“What’
re you doing here, Mazhic?” Jim stared at him, his stance steady, but his eyes seemed to drift away only to be jerked back.

“Fuck, what the hell’s wrong with you? We’re in the middle of a
n op and you’re shit-faced. Whittleton said to get some rest.”

“I
am
resting.”

“Bullshit.” Magic pushed his way past the other SEAL and Retro staggered a little. “Jesus, Jim, sit down before you hurt yourself.”

“Hey.” Jim shook his head in wide swings. “I didn’t invite you in and I’m not a pussy. I won’t hurt myself.”

“If you’re as drunk as I think you are, you
’re already hurtin’ yourself. Do you have any coffee?”

“I’m not as think as you drunk I am. And w
hat the fuck does coffee have to do with this?” Jim threw the door shut and stomped deliberately after Todd as he headed for the kitchenette.

“Wake up and smell the pavement, buddy. You’re six sheets to the wind and about to unfurl another sail.” Todd scowled at the two empty booze bottles on the counter. “Shit, did you drink all this tonight?”

Jim craned his neck to look at the bottles, his expression dully curious. “Nope. One was already empty before I found it. I drank th’ other one.”

Todd sighed, the medic in him wanting to give the jackass a sedative and send him to bed. But he needed to talk to him and coffee was the easiest way to coherence.

“Go sit down. I’m making coffee.” Todd filled the carafe with water. “Then I gotta talk to you.”

“I don’t wanna talk. Everything’s too fucked up to talk.” But Jim staggered over to the couch and dropped
into it with a heavy thud. Todd doubted the springs would be the same.

“Not as fucked up as it will be if we don’t.”

“Fuck, we aren’t chicks. We don’t talk, Mazhic.” Retro turned his face to the arm of the couch and closed his eyes.

“Yeah, well, we have to this time. You’re drunker than a skunk and I
reckon it’s the best time to figure out what the fuck’s wrong with you.”

“What the fuck’s wrong with
me
? What the fuck’s wrong with you?” Jim surged upright and shook a wavering finger at Todd as he walked to the room with two mugs of coffee. The strong, bitter scent filled the space between them as Jim swayed. “You’re the one who’s fucked up, Mazhic. You’re the one who wants to share
your wife with everyone.”

“Not with everyone, Retro. Just with you.” Todd sipped the bitter brew and hoped it was strong enough to snap Jim out of his funk.

“Yeah, well, it’s messed up. I don’t do shit like that.”

Todd tipped his head as he watched Jim’s gaze slide away with guilty chagrin. “
You ain’t got many tells, Jim, but you’re face is screamin’ bullshit. I might be just a medic, but I know when a man’s runnin’ from something. And I know when
you’re
lyin’. So cut the crap.”

“It’s just not natural.”

“What? Sharin’?”

“Yeah.”

Todd scowled and shook his head. “Who fed you that line o’ shit?”

“My father…a
nd he’s right. Only freaks and whackjobs like to share their women.” Retro’s voice filled with whiney despair.

“Shit, I always thought you were a happy drunk.” Todd rose and gripped Jim’s chin, examining his eyes. “You’re gonna be useless tomorrow if you keep this up. Come on. On your feet, sailor. Time to puke so we can clean you up and set you to rights.”

“I’m not a fucking baby, Mazhic!” Jim tried to jerk his head back, but Todd held fast.

“
Then stop whinin’, and man up or ring out. You’re not doin’ anyone any good by drinkin’ yourself into a stupor. Certainly not Chris, and she needs you.” Anger unfurled in Todd’s chest and he damn near swung at the inebriated SEAL. “Get your ass in the head and empty your gut of poison so we can figure out what to do next, because I ain’t tellin’ Chris you fuckin’ gave up and cried like a girl.”

Retro roared something incoherent and lurched to his feet, swinging at Todd’s head. Todd ducked and slammed a fist into Jim’s stomach, knocking the other SEAL back a step. Jim tried to catch his balance, but the couch got in the way and he slammed his head on the armrest as he came down. The impact echoed through the room and Todd grimaced in sympathy, but didn’
t move to help. The jackass had to stop feeling sorry for himself before they’d get anywhere.

Retro groaned and rolled
to his side, just in time to vomit the contents of his stomach onto the floor. Only liquid came up, splashing over the floor and filling the air with a sour alcohol stench as Jim heaved. Todd grasped Jim’s shoulders and held him out of the stinking puddle.

“You want to throw up more here or get to the head?”

“Head.”

“Got it.”

He dragged his sick friend all the way to the bathroom and left Jim hunched over the toilet, emptying his stomach. Todd shook his head and searched for some old towels to soak up the mess. He found a roll of paper towels and he used all of them to clean up the vomit.
Nothing like a little housework to set the tone.

Jim eventually came back into the living room and sat down on his easy chair,
wrapped in a hooded NAVY sweatshirt. Misery lined his face and Todd couldn’t blame him, because he wasn’t done with the poor bastard.

“Want coffee now?”

“Yeah. Maybe it’ll wash some of the taste outta my mouth.”

Magic handed Retro a fresh steaming mug and pulled up one of the chairs from his kitchen table. They sat for a few minutes in silence while Todd gathered his
arguments.

“You ready to listen to me yet, Waters?”

Retro eyed him with sullen attention, but said nothing beyond sipping his cup of joe.

“Good. ’
Cause I’m only gonna say this once. You’re an asshole and a jackass, but you’re still my friend and squadmate. That’s why I’m here trying to pull your head outta your ass so you can see daylight.”

Jim scowled. “If you’re just gonna insult me, get the fuck out.”

“Shut up. Here’s the deal. Your dad mighta been a Navy guy and did all sorts of crazy shit while in ’Nam, but he never became a SEAL. So he can’t tell you what’s freaky or fucked up ’cause he’s never lived it. Right?”

Jim’s jaw tightened, but he
dipped his chin in acknowledgement.

“So he told you sharin’
is bad. How did he know anything about it?”

“
He found my porn collection showing threesomes. Burned it right in front of me in a big metal garbage can so I couldn’t save any of it.” Jim shook his head and cleared his throat. “He told me ‘no son of mine will sully the Waters name’ and kicked the shit outta me for good measure.”

Todd
ignored the urge to do the same. “How old are you again?”

“What?”

“How old are you? ’Cause the way I figure it, you’re old enough to choose your own path and you’re a fuckin’ SEAL. SEALs make their own rules, remember? So if you get off sharin’ a woman with someone else, what the hell are you doin’ listenin’ to the bastard your mom was smart enough to leave behind?”

“Leave my mother out of this.” A little more awareness filled Retro’s eyes.

“I’m complimentin’ her, moron. She didn’t take your dad’s shit, why should you?”

“It’s not that easy—”

“Screw easy! The only easy day was yesterday, Waters.” Todd almost threw his mug at Jim. “So man up and do what you want. Chris and I offered you a place in our home and our lives.” He paused and tilted his head. “You still love her, don’t you?”

“What kind of question is that? Of course I love her.”

“The kind of question you ask a stupid jackass old enough to have kids, but still listenin’ to his daddy.” Magic swigged the last of his cold coffee. “Look, you’re gonna have to make a decision about this for yourself, Waters. Not for your daddy or me, or even Chris. You’re a mean sonuvabitch when you got a hard-on for something and haven’t taken care of it. I’m tired of you mopin’, so get your shit together and make a fuckin’ decision.”

“This is really a moot point, isn’t it, Hunter?” Retro drew his head back and loathing smoldered in his eyes. “She’s been kidnapped and could be dead. We could be facing recovery rather than rescue.”

“Damn, you’ve really let yourself go. You need to get laid.”

“Fuck you!”

“I’m serious, Waters. Only a man who’s denyin’ himself thinks like that. Chris is alive and you know damn well she can kill most of those motherfuckers given the chance.”

“I’ve lost her
—”

“Are you done whinin’
yet?”

Jim clamped his lips together and glared at the floor, his chest rising and falling like a bellows. Todd hoped he’d pissed the
dark-haired SEAL off enough to exit the pity party he threw for himself. Chris needed them both in top form and she wouldn’t get it if Waters continued to drown his sorrows.

“Look, Retro, you, me, and Chris have
always been a team within the squad.” Todd shrugged and sat back in his chair. “We just wanted to extend it out to civilian life now that it won’t screw with the fighting dynamic. We want you with us.”

He paused for a moment, eyeing Jim. Time to get out the big guns.

“She blames herself, you know.”

“What? Who?”