The Next Door Boys (11 page)

I followed Julie into the kitchen just after dinner. Something didn't feel right with her.

“Julie?” I called as I walked inside.

“Yeah, Leigh. I'm right here.” She sat on a stool in her kitchen. Her shoulders slumped over, and she turned to look at me as she spoke.

“Are you okay?” I asked.

“Are you?” Her eyes narrowed.

“What do you mean?”

“I suddenly feel guilty for being pregnant. Does that make sense?”

“Oh no, please, please, don't.” I didn't know how best to alleviate her fears. “I feel like I've been such a part of it and I'm loving it. I'm more worried that you're going to get sick of having me around.”

“No, I can't imagine that.”

“It's been really neat for me, being around you, and you're not even to the exciting part yet,” I smiled. “Never feel bad or sad for me or anything. You have to promise or I'll feel bad coming over, okay?”

She stood up, pulling me into a hug. “You have the sweetest spirit of anyone I've ever met, do you know that?”

“Thank you, Julie.”

I turned and walked back out to the porch. “I'm headed home.” I waved without looking at anyone in particular. “I still don't feel great, so I'll see you later.”

Jaron put his arm around me and walked with me back to my apartment.

“That was good, Leigh.” We both watched our feet cross the backyard.

“Well, it's all out there now.”

“What is?”

“The girl who sings, the girl who sews, Jaron's little sister, and the girl with cancer. I guess you don't really get to start over when you move.”

“No, you don't. Because you take ‘you’ with you.”

“I was just hoping for a clean slate.”

“The only one who believes in clean slates is Heavenly Father, Leigh.”

I sighed. “Night.”

Jaron pulled me into a tight hug. “Night.”

eleven

I sat on the floor with Brian and Jaron, a large pizza between us.

“These math classes are killing me!” I complained. I picked off a few stray pieces of pepperoni and threw them back in the box. There were always too many.

“Why exactly are you majoring in a field dominated by math geniuses?” Brian asked.

“I like putting things together. Buildings are like puzzles. All the perfect elements are set up just right to make the end result something special. I find the process amazing. I loved my one class in high school. I was good at math in high school. I thought it would be a fun thing to continue.”

“Isn't that what you do with your sewing?” Brian asked.

“What do you mean?” It didn't seem the same at all. I set my pizza down and waited for him to continue.

“You're always doing your own patterns. I know enough about sewing to know that's a big deal. Why don't you do something with that? Or art history? You love that class too.”

“I just don't think I want to.” I didn't want to explain more than that. It seemed like such a girl thing to do. I was already “the girl who sews.”

“Why not?” he persisted.

“I don't know, it just seems too easy, like cheating my way into a degree.” He must've really been paying attention when we all talked. I didn't remember saying anything directly to him about how much I sewed.

“Well, that's why I'm doing web design. For me, it's easy, for someone else, say, your brother, who still has issues with email,” Brian said, laughing a little, “not so much. It's not cheating just because something's easy for you. It's a gift. Use it.”

“Still, it
seems
like cheating.” I took another bite.

He shrugged. “I know you must love it. More than half of what you brought from home has to do with sewing.” Brian looked over at Jaron, and Jaron smiled at me. “And I bet you read your Art History text just for fun.” He polished off his third slice. “There's no substitute for doing what you love.”

Older people could be so irritating. I could feel something telling me that there was a possibility he could be right, but I wasn't ready to give up my major. Not yet.

“And that must be why you're still tending bar,” I half-teased.

Jaron laughed, and Brian shook his head. At least he knew I was only kidding.

“I'm going to get dessert,” Jaron stood up and walked to the kitchen.

“Wow, you guys did dessert?” I asked.

“Nope. Jaron walked past the donut store just before closing, you know how everything's cheap just before they flip the sign.”

I laughed.

We sat silent for a minute. I started to say something and almost stopped.

“Spit it out, Leigh.” Brian pulled up a corner of his mouth.

“Isn't it hard?” I asked. “Working in a bar all night? I mean, wouldn't you be tempted all the time?” I was still baffled by his job. I understood little work and more money, but it had to be hard, especially for someone who didn't always live the way he did.

“Our bishop has asked me that a few times.” He nodded. “Sometimes it's hard, and other times it just strengthens my testimony. I see how really stupid people are when they've been drinking. I see tobacco-stained teeth. They smell bad, and after a while a lot of them act badly too. Once in a while I'm filling up a nice cold beer and I'm tempted to fill one up for myself, but I think about what I've gained over the past year, and I wouldn't give that up for anything.”

I didn't know what to say. His answer was more profound than I expected. I found myself studying his face more than I had before. Brian had such a warm quality around him and even though he was turning into another brother next door, he was a good-looking man. It was hard not to notice in such close proximity.

“Dessert!” Jaron smiled as he rejoined us on the floor.

I jumped at the intrusion. “Orange one's mine!” I grabbed the only one with orange frosting and took a bite before anyone else could claim it.

twelve

“For you, Leigh!” I heard Megan call. “Your brother's here!”

I hadn't even heard a knock. I came out of my room in my pajamas to see Jaron standing just inside the door.

“Here are the keys to my car.” He held out his hand.

I stopped and raised an eyebrow.

“Dad finally tracked down Brian's ex-wife. Brian and I are driving to Vegas and back tomorrow to pick up his son, Nathan.”

“In one day?” It sounded exhausting.

“Well, neither of us can really afford to miss any more classes than that.”

“Well, I promise to treat her well.” I dangled the keys in the air. “Thanks.”

“No problem.” Jaron turned to walk out.

“How long will Nathan be here?” How would Brian handle school and work with a little kid around?

“A week.” Jaron pulled open the door. “Brian will drop him off next Sunday.”

“Okay. Good night.”

“Night, Leigh.” He closed the door behind him.

I had Jaron's car. It seemed as if I should drive around for a while just because I could.

Monday night was my last chance to get my math homework finished. I'd been at the table for hours, sorting through problems and getting nowhere. I stood up to stretch when I realized how long I'd been still. I knew it must be cold outside, but the fresh air sounded nice. I pulled on my coat and stepped outside. It was dark, but I could still see my breath in the light of the back porch.

I saw movement on the Rileys’ porch. “Brian?” I asked. There were only a few choices of who it could be.

“Yeah.” His voice sounded rough.

I walked over and sat down across from him. “You okay?” I hoped he didn't think I was intruding, but I felt as if I couldn't ignore him.

“I don't know.” His elbows rested on his knees and his body slumped over, defeated.

“Is Nathan settling in?”

“He didn't recognize me, Leigh—not at first. He didn't want to get in the car. He's grown up so much since the last time I saw him. I've already missed so much. How much more won't I get to be a part of?”

“I don't know.” I didn't know what to do. I ached for him. I couldn't imagine what it was like to have kids, especially in Brian's situation.

“He asked for his mom tonight.” Brian stared at his hands clasped in front of him.

“Of course he did. He probably would have asked for his mom if you two were still in the same house, Brian. He'll settle in, and once you guys get set up in a routine again, he'll be excited about coming up here. You'll see.”

“Yeah, maybe.”

“Have you prayed about it?” I asked.

“Is that always the answer?” He didn't move.

“Not always, but it is always the start of the answer. Or the start of feeling better.”

He looked up at me and smiled. “You're a very wise girl, Leigh.”

I laughed. “Every time I hear that word I think of Owl in the Winnie the Pooh story, who thinks he knows everything but really knows nothing. It's cracked me up at inappropriate times in Sunday School more than once.”

“Well, I don't think that at all.” His voice was still quiet, thoughtful.

“It'll work out, Brian. Boys are programmed to idolize their fathers, and you're definitely worth looking up to.”

“You don't know me that well, Leigh. I haven't been a great father. I was a terrible husband…” He shook his head while looking down at his feet on the worn porch.

“I know where you are now, and that's all that matters. The rest is just the stuff that got you to where you are. Good, bad—doesn't matter.” I shrugged, trying to keep things light. I was dying of curiosity. Who was this ex-wife? I couldn't imagine anyone getting a divorce from sweet, mellow Brian.

“Maybe.”

“There's no maybe about it. You say sorry for what you've done and you move on. You can't think you're exempt from the blessings of forgiveness. That's ridiculous.” I sat back in my chair, waiting for his response.

“What's going on up here?” I heard Jaron ask as he walked up the stairs, pulling his coat up around his neck.

“Your sister was just making me feel better,” Brian said.

“She's expert at that.” Jaron smiled and gave me a hug.

“Well, I'll leave you guys alone. I've had enough cold for one night.” I got up and walked back to my house. I felt bad for Brian. He was a nice guy. But one thing I'd learned is that crappy things happen to nice people all the time. I was living proof of that. Well, so was my family, for that matter.

I woke up in the morning really needing a few hours in front of the TV. I was awake but not ready to be up. Megan looked enraptured in the middle of an Anne of Green Gables marathon. I sighed. The first movie had been fine—a little oversentimental, but fine. The rest of it? I couldn't care less. I grabbed my pillow and lap blanket and headed next door.

“Knock, knock,” I said as I opened the door. My brother, Brian, and a little boy who must have been Nathan were sitting in front of the TV watching cartoons. It looked better than what was happening next door.

“Mind if I join you?” I asked.

“Come on in.” Jaron waved from the floor.

I walked around the couch. “Hey there, you must be Nathan. I'm Leigh.” I stuck out my hand to shake his. He looked like his father in miniature. His dad's brown eyes on such a small face were like large pools of chocolate. He must have been about four or five.

“Hi Leigh.” He smiled. “You can sit with me on the couch.”

“Thanks.” I did as instructed, a little surprised he was so friendly.

“They have to sit on the floor.” He pointed to my brother and Brian, who both stifled a laugh at that statement.

“Are they in trouble?”

“No, they're alligators and the water is down there. Alligators like water.” His mouth pulled together in a firm line.

“Wow, I like you already, Nathan. You really know how to run the house.” I reached over and rubbed his back.

He looked back to the TV. “We should be quiet now. SpongeBob is back.”

“Okay,” I whispered as I pulled my blankets up. I'd stayed up too late and was still tired. Fortunately, I didn't have class until the afternoon. I slid down into the couch and watched SpongeBob and Sandy the squirrel duke it out with karate gloves. I kept looking from Jaron to Brian on the floor. This would definitely be something to file away for later harassment.